FOOOOOOOD
This weekend I went to a food festival just along the road from me. I came back with banana habanero chutney and some Crazy Fred's chilli sauce. What was the last odd/great thing you bought?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:19, 114 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Never mind all that
Can anyone explain why only bits of the internet seem to be working for me today?
Off topic works ok, but like, youtube, facebook and that won't even load.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:20, Reply)

You are too DeNSe to work it out
/nerdjoke
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:23, Reply)

hahahahahahahahahaaaaa yeah


I don't get it
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:24, Reply)

snee snee snee
you WINS some, you lose some
( Kroney, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:25, Reply)

*binary fives*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:26, Reply)

fives 0b101s
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:28, Reply)

I had to google that, so I hope it's right

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:28, Reply)

Near enough

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:30, Reply)

I was given a bottle of Baijan hot sauce at the weekend.
Red hot but well tasty.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:22, Reply)

Chilli festival soon near me
I cant wait!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:24, Reply)

Set your arsehole to stunned

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:40, Reply)

Latest purchase was a nice little pre-amp.
Now my turntable's all up and running and sounds lovely. Very pleased with myself.

Last odd thing I bought was a walnut table lamp at the church fete in Chiswick for two quid. The electrics are knackered so I'm stripping and repairing it.
( Kroney, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:24, Reply)

Wanna buy a record?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:24, Reply)

oh lol, jolly good.
you silly man.
( Kroney, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:25, Reply)

I bought some Persian greengages and white cherries from a foreigner in a smelly shop.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:24, Reply)

I've never had a greengage
My pear tree is fruiting though! Woo
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:25, Reply)

I love proper greengages, but you can sometimes only get green plums [INSERT TESTICLE JOKE] which aren't the same

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:26, Reply)

My mum used to make lovely greengage jam when we were kids
Dunno why she doesn't bother now, the lazy cow.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:26, Reply)

Because she, like everyone else, hates you

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:27, Reply)

She's such a prick.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:29, Reply)

Like mother, like son.
By which I mean that you are similar to each other, both being pricks, rather than suggesting that I like you and your mother.

No one likes you. Your mum is 'alright'.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:34, Reply)

yer

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:35, Reply)

She's the best one here.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:39, Reply)

a budgie
that was the last weird but great thing you bought.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:25, Reply)

LEMMY FTW

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:27, Reply)

he was squeaking at his vitamin block this morning
i don't think we've got the cure for cancer there.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:27, Reply)

He's the best one here.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:35, Reply)

HonduranMidfieldLOLs

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:24, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:25, Reply)

Watching scarpe get his knickers in a twist was lol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:26, Reply)

His FB feed is pretty lol
He makes Al look like a Thatcherite.
( Kroney, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:30, Reply)

His photos are fucking amazing

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:32, Reply)

He needs to come back on here, instead of posting nonsense of facebook all the time

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:33, Reply)

it's almost like he thinks we're a bunch of dull repetitive pricks
who repeat ourselves being prickish all day
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:34, Reply)

We're a bunch of dull repetitive pricks?
Who repeat ourselves being prickish all day?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:37, Reply)

I think it's best he keeps his "if you do something I don't like I'll delete you and sulk" schtick to FB, to be honest.

( Kroney, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:35, Reply)

Yeah, he is pretty good.
Good kit and lots of practice.
( Kroney, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:33, Reply)

Oh is that who it was - the name makes sense now

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:35, Reply)

Hah, yeah.
I had a dawning realisation moment a few months back.
( Kroney, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:37, Reply)

Do you need b3th's username explaining as well?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:43, Reply)

That one I guessed for myself!

( Kroney, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:44, Reply)

this^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:43, Reply)

i didn't buy them, but
berk very kindly made me some amazing salty caramel tarts when she came to stay last week. i stalked them to find the recipe:

www.greatbritishchefs.com/recipes/sea-salted-caramel-tart-recipe
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:24, Reply)

got a couple of nice bits for father's day
but I also got to break my back lifting and shifting. Swings and roundabouts.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:27, Reply)

I have the joy of having to dig over 40 sq feet of garden up tonight
Then double joy of having to lay fuckloads of turf
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:31, Reply)

Get your lazy bitch wife to do it.
She'll only be at home pleasuring the milkman and postman and Tesco Man anyway.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:35, Reply)

Who's got the stupid wife? I forget all the wife memes.

( Kroney, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:37, Reply)

I thought that was me.
I'm guessing Nakers' missus must be a bit thick and all
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:39, Reply)

That was you? OK
So you've got the stupid one, sporto's got the lazy one and peej has a hot one.

I am assuming here that Mrs Nakers is one of those big teeth, strong adam's apple types that wear tweed and ride horses, here.
( Kroney, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:41, Reply)

All of us dude
All of us
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:42, Reply)

We certainly do

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:43, Reply)

Lad fives

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:45, Reply)

I don't.

( Kroney, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:44, Reply)

If you don't then you are the stupid wife

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:45, Reply)

I don't even own an marriage.

( Kroney, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:46, Reply)

No, you really do

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:47, Reply)

No I don't.
I'm pretty sure on this, I've checked my paperwork and everything.
( Kroney, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:48, Reply)

Shut up bitch tits and get me a beer

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:48, Reply)

Woah, I'm *battered's* wife?!

( Kroney, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:48, Reply)

This explains EVERYTHING

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:55, Reply)

Oh god, I don't envy you that
Dismantling my greenhouse took 5 times longer than I thought it would. I also lost a lot more blood than I thought I would.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:43, Reply)

Hmmm
Thats the next big job
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:44, Reply)

All I can advise
Is to give yourself plenty of time, and try not to do it on your own. I was very close to having a pane of glass slice my head in twain. For once I was actually GLAD that missus was there.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:45, Reply)

Are you recommending he gets mrs hats to help then?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:47, Reply)

Can I book her in for around October then please?
I'm using the greenhouse at the moment
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:48, Reply)

I'm not her pimp

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:50, Reply)

sure
I warn you, she's extremely bossy. I totally don't mind if you end up punching her in the face.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:50, Reply)

She was certainly keen for me to use my fists last time I saw her

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:53, Reply)

haha

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:55, Reply)

How's the fundraising going

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 12:12, Reply)

£201 so far
I need to "remind" my family to sponsor me
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 12:42, Reply)

I'll get around to it at some point.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 12:43, Reply)

You're related to sporto?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 12:44, Reply)

Thanking you kindly in advance

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 12:44, Reply)

Haha oh you rascal

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:58, Reply)

Heavy machinery time

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:47, Reply)

I want to buy loads of camera shiz.
Sadly it is expensive and I am poor.

Sadtimes.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:45, Reply)

Camera's expensive
but you can pick up lenses from old film cameras pretty cheaply.
( Kroney, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:47, Reply)

Yer - they don't fit my DSLR though.
I want new toys, dammit!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 12:01, Reply)

Depends, some of them will.
It all hangs on what type of lens mount your camera has and how long they've been making it. My Pentax uses the same mount as they've used since the 60s, so loads of the old lenses still fit. Worth looking into.
( Kroney, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 12:07, Reply)

I just remembered I dreamt I bought a camera, very reasonably priced too. It was a Nikon D60, dunno if that's real or not.
Hope this helps.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 11:50, Reply)

Who the fuck is this Dr Skagra cunt on QOTW? What a weapons-grade spastic.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 12:06, Reply)

some fucking horrific waste of skin

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 12:13, Reply)

Beef with chocolate sauce,
Surprisingly nice
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 16 Jun 2014, 12:19, Reply)

All men are potential rapists and should be caged.
If women want to have sex with a man, they should be given six months of intensive combat training, including a comprehensive education on immobilisation, and then have to sign a disclaimer, in exchange for which she can then be given the key to the cage the man she wants to have sex with is in:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-27831626
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 12:25, Reply)

^TGGI

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 12:27, Reply)

Urgh, kissing girls?
Well gay
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 12:30, Reply)

"Until I discovered women, I thought sex was just a pain in the arse."

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 12:34, Reply)

Alright 'Nigel Rees'

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 12:35, Reply)

^tggi

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 12:37, Reply)

split arses be trippin'

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 12:38, Reply)

If your girl starts acting up, then you take her friend.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 12:38, Reply)

'Hos before nos.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 12:40, Reply)

I just met you and this is crazy
but you tried to kiss me, autism maybe
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 16 Jun 2014, 13:14, Reply)

"Could you please confirm, for the benefit of the tape, that you are allowing me to jizz on your tits?"

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 16 Jun 2014, 13:38, Reply)