Good morning all
Due to my brain/body still being royally messed up from my last set of nights I was up at 3am and have been watching American Dad while smoking furiously. Hardly the best preparation for the surveyor who's coming later on to revalue the house.

How are all you lovely people this glorious morning?
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 6:14, 255 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning!
I'm just dipping in, I'll be back after 7.15. I keep waking up when it gets light but thankfully that's around about the time I get up. Not looking forward to getting up in the dark again =o/

How's you? And see you a bit later.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 6:39, Reply)

Pretty good ta.
It's a toss up between gym and a fry up at the greasy spoon ........ It may come down to the toss of a coin.

Know what you mean about the dark mornings - I had entire weeks last year where I hardly saw daylight due to shift start times. I felt like a fucking mole.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 6:50, Reply)

Damned planetary axial tilt!
I used to work in an office with no windows, but little skylights. I wasn't sat under one, so in the winter months I'd come to work in the dark and go home in the dark. Sucky!

Now my 'office' looks out onto a big smelly green Grundon bin and remnants of the chinese takeaway next door.

In today's happy news, the weather is supposed to be good tomorrow! Camping and lakes ahoy!

Are you doing anything this weekend?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 7:18, Reply)

Preparing for our trip to the lake district on Monday
and dealing with a visit from the outlaws on Saturday. Other than that I suspect it shall be punctuated with heroic bouts of alcohol abuse and sitting on me big fat arse.

Hurrah for the good weather - Long may it continue!
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 8:01, Reply)

morning!
There had better be some surf tomorrow or I'm going to start hurting people.

offshore winds, sunshine, most people fucked off out of my county, it's the perfect recipe.

it'd better not go flat....

morning all!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 8:07, Reply)

Morning V
Which county? Sat is due to be humid with thundery showers on Sun. I just hope all the rainy fun starts after 1pm :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 8:15, Reply)

Sunny Devon
where the hills are green and the grass is good

our forecast is for glorious sunshine. that makes me happy
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 8:16, Reply)

Morning chaps
Traffic was a bit slower this morning so I'm a tad late.

But the weather's rather pleasant, so it's OK.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 8:20, Reply)

When I was depressed I'm sure I suffered from SAD
Although I'm considerably better now, this weather is giving me the greys :(

I just hope Summer has more in store for us this year like it did three or four years back... I wore a tshirt for fireworks night!

Edit: Ning K2k6!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 8:24, Reply)

I just checked the weather forecast
and it's to be 25°C here today and 24 tomorrow. Woo!

Such temperatures have rarely been seen since 2006 in these parts.

It's to be pishing with rain come Sunday evening mind you.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 8:42, Reply)

mornin
Mornin folks! How are we today?
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 8:46, Reply)

Morning weekirst!
Good, good. Work is very quiet so I'm trawling the QOTW. Pleasantly surprised to find there's a few good ones on there.

How's you?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 8:48, Reply)

I'm very fine weekirst
sitting here as I am wearing my new ultra-low-cost-but-good-quality shirt wot I bought on holiday. I took full advantage of the weak dollar and the factory outlet stores!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 8:50, Reply)

Morning all
I am off work today, hoorah! Also, I like the sound of good weather as I am off to a wedding in Aberdeen tomorrow. Surprisingly, no sheep are involved. At least not that I know of.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 8:58, Reply)

GOOD MORNING
Well after yesterday's money worries,

I GOT PAID TODAY!

I wasn't expecting to be so I am very happy as you can imagine!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 29 Aug 2008, 8:59, Reply)

Great news Mrs L
that must be a big relief!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:02, Reply)

Ah, but, PoD
Have you met the bridesmaids yet?

Baaah!

Morning, BTW. And to you, Mrs Bin-with-some-money!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:02, Reply)

I have met the bridesmaids in the past
And I am pretty sure, but not certain, that they are human females.

Good news there Mrs Bin. I got paid this morning too :)
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:03, Reply)

*beams at POD*
And morning Mrs Bin... money FTW!

I've actually got a bit of spare cash this weekend which will definitely help intoxicate me and my tentmates. Woo!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:04, Reply)

There are not the words
to express how relived I am today.

We are still not flush and this will be my last paycheque until I secure a job. but at least next month Mr Bin will have a full paycheque.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:06, Reply)

Morning all!
Great news there Mrs L! I got paid too, having to make a fancy spreadsheet later that will be linked to a robot that will threaten me if my account is running low and tie me up if I am tempted to spend any money.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:13, Reply)

Goodmorning all.
And how's my favorite purveyor of biscuits?



I'm on holiday in 3 weeks. Yay!
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:19, Reply)

Robobondage!
Yes! I don't use my cashcard these days... in fact I cut it up... go to the bank on a friday and get myself just the money I need til monday. Tis the only way.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:21, Reply)

I don't have a credit or debit card.
Cash for everything, otherwise the fuckers can track what you're spending on.
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:25, Reply)

I don't really mind using my debit card
I don't care who knows that I spend all my money in bloody B&Q
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:26, Reply)

They'll never track me
Morning Kaol, have fun surveying yesterday?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:27, Reply)

Morning folken
Great new Mrs Bin.

BGB I have some Jaffa Cakes, here have some.

Is everybody else good today?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:31, Reply)

morning all
al, you should obviously be in charge.

money ftw. i won a tenner on a scratchcard yesterday. which is ace as I never usually buy them.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:31, Reply)

I hardly use cash these days
Far easier just to use plastic then pay it off electronically. But it does mean you have to check regularly to see how much of a bill you've rung up.

Which reminds me - I must go and have an argument with Budget car hire, as they've charged me £200 extra for my US rental. I'd already pre-paid it. Bastards.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:32, Reply)

No.
Got up, went to the office.
Got paperwork.
Drove to the M25.
Parked for two hours.
Carried on to Brighton.
Did my measuring.
Came home.

Went to my mates.
Rocked out.
Went to bed.

So, first half of the day was crap, I hate traffic.
On the plus side, tonight I'm going to Southampton.
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:34, Reply)

I have
a debit card, two (maxed) credit cards, a bank loan and a saving account with £2.53 in.

Woo. It's lucky I don't let money worry me too much or I would have jumped off something high by now.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:36, Reply)

So you went to Brighton
for work and not fun?
That sucks.
I lived in Brighton for three years.
Fun place to visit but a bugger to live in.

edit- fnar fnar arf arf.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:37, Reply)

Ning all
i am currently waiting for our expert externally sourced management team to sort a *critical* issue reported 2 weeks ago. It just so happens to have happens on another server now also.

The most frustrating thing is, if I was given access, it would take me 3 clicks to sort.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:38, Reply)

ning ethel
three clicks... there's a joke there somewhere...

*brain too fluffeh to think properly*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:40, Reply)

Yeah, I was there for work.
I managed to creep out to a knife shop though.
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:41, Reply)

I used that reese witherspoon joke on about 7 people last night
they all got sucked in.

I was happy
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:41, Reply)

What time
did you get to bed last night HLT? Was the party going on for a while?

@Kaol - traffic is only good if your own car is the sole cause of it. That's why I like driving back from gigs in the middle of the night, on Scottish A-roads. Much fun.

Except for the deer.

Bastard deer, with their big antlers and stary eyes.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:42, Reply)

never been to Brighton
is it lovely?

edit@k2k6 - erm, got to bed the back of one. didn't run over any deer but that wasn't for the lack of trying.

*falls asleep*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:43, Reply)

I like Brighton.
There's a knife shop.
And the sea.
And a burnt and twisty pier.
And the beach isn't made of sand.

Also, one of my best mates lived there for three years.
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:44, Reply)

I've always had soft spot for cash.
I squirrel it away in a video case using the logic that if we're ever burgled they're hardly going to take a video of Carlito's Way.

There's no purpose to having it there other than to please me. Quite a few of my mates have stashes which are not known to their wives in case of matrimonial strife ...... All monies undeclared to their spouses go in the stash.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:44, Reply)

I've already clicked a load of stories
on this qotw

I've become a big soppy git
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:51, Reply)

@Swan vesta
You do realise the wives are doing the same thing *laughs*
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:53, Reply)

Good Ningly Morns to you all!
DiT here, in full effect! Word! *streets*

OK, so that was too energetic.

Only 7 hours to go and then I'm off on the train to Dorset! Hooray!

And I've just been given a MASSIVE project to work on ALL ON MY OWN for the next 204 WEEKS. Wahey!

EDIT: Al, so how was the footy 2 nights ago?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:08, Reply)

morning DiT
you seem full of the joys of spring today!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:11, Reply)

That I am!
Looking forward to getting the hell out of London and in to some fresh air for the weekend... Hooray!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:12, Reply)

I'm looking forward to this weekend quite badly
just hope there's enough surf tomorrow!

I'm out on site on monday too which is cool, essentially a long weekend
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:15, Reply)

Morning DiT
Where in Dorset?
'tis my home county.

@HLT Brighton is stacks of fun to visit. Full of wonderful shops.
However it cost £100,000 to live there.
And can be a bit frightening. I used to have to walk do St James St to get to work. That is where all the gay bars are. The problem would be that people would show up for some gay bashing. Often you couldn't walk down the street as it was cordoned off.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:22, Reply)

Friday!
*dances*

*gets the cake out*

*throws glitter*

*yays*
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:23, Reply)

Hooray
Cake. And glitter. Loves it.

I get to drive a lot this weekend, most of the way up Scotland. What funs.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:24, Reply)

@ BGB
You may well be right - It's hilarious to witness them trying to blag overtime as fixed shifts so they can have the extra for the stash.

I'm often of the mind of gerbils making their nests when I see them scurrying about.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:25, Reply)

Woo Dorset!
Took the lil one camping around Charmouth last summer. It was a short while after the floods... it'd rained constantly for three weeks before we left and we got a week of brilliant sunshine! Let's hope the same thing happens this weekend :)

Monkey World was groovy too!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:28, Reply)

@ al
you seem a bit grumpy today.

do you need a happydance?

*happydances*

edit: and i've just posted a soppy post on the real qotw. it's not funny but it's all true.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:33, Reply)

Howdy Y'All
In a very odd mood this morning - woke up with an obsessive desire to chuck my boots and bergan into the car, fill it up with motion lotion and just head North until I find a hill I want to waddle up.

However as I'm booked in as child restrainer while the Mrs goes to buy a funeral dress, I guess I'll just hang around here and talk complete bollocks as usual.

The disadvantage of being a layabout is you don't get that sense of anticipation for the weekend....

Ohh apparently I've got to go Yeti hunting. Children's bloody TV. Grrr.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:33, Reply)

@ osok
hurrah for the bollocks!

why do you have to go yeti hunting?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:37, Reply)

Yeti hunting?
I'd recommend half a mutilated cow as "evidence".

And maybe lots of fake blood and screaming...
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:37, Reply)

That's a very mushy story on the QOTW, HLT
But it's got a happy ending, so that's OK.

Vipros'll be going all soppy over it. He's getting like that today, it seems.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:43, Reply)

@ Liveinabin
I'm going to Shaftesbury, where the Mrs' family live. Hurray!

I love it down there, and will move there soon. Well, a couple of years.

Anyway, shameless self promotion:

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post230862

Chapter 2 (or 3) of the book! It's very short!

And good morning to everyone else! Fondue?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:43, Reply)

Kaol
You'd recommend that for anything?

Edit - @DiT My ma's folks are from Shaftsbury. I've not been but I do always point out that he hill in the Hovis advert is Gold Hill in Shaftsbury.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:43, Reply)

Er... Yeah...
As always.

There's a lot you can do with abbatoir left-overs.
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:47, Reply)

Morning all
I'm stealthing today for a while at least.

Gaaah to filing and other stuff
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:50, Reply)

Oh!
Happy B3taday Ms. JSBX!
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:51, Reply)

Happy b3taday becky
So you're a whole b3tayear old now.

I'm coming up for 5.

*feels old*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:53, Reply)

Happpy B3taday, Becks!
*raises glass*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:53, Reply)

morning peoples!
I like this weeks QOTW, its fluffeh and I like fluffeh. I am mid preparation for a fluffeh weekend. Mr Van Pelt and myself have my parents house for the weekend and we rarely get a whole house just the two of us so we're having a 2 month late anniversary weekend.
I am preparing surprises for him, I've made a Reading CD of bands he liked and am going to make him a fairy cake like I did when we first met.
*glows in teh fluffehness*
And there will be sexitime. Oh yes.
Anyway, enough about me, how are you lovely lot?
Edit - AND i've just found an unopened pack of chewits in my room. score.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:55, Reply)

Right I'm off out
to get enough ingredients to make a metric fuck-tonne of chocolate brownies.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:58, Reply)

Fuck-tonne?
Amazing!
My word of the day.
Yes, I know it's two words.
Fuck off :(
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 10:59, Reply)

*smoothes kaols brow*
there there little one, you can have as many words as you like.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:02, Reply)

happy birthday beckyconsonants!
*raises glass*

*cakes*

*snogs*

for those who read me soppy post earlier, you can see mr tulip on me profile now, but be quick, cos he ain't gonna stay there long.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:02, Reply)

All this talk of fluffehness and sexitime
is making me feel all lonely.

*jealouses*

*cries*
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:02, Reply)

Cheers
I was a lurker for a while before I signed up, so have probably been around these here parts for closer to two years, but I likes the candle and its all enveloping light.

*moves too close to flame and singes eyebrows*

Edit: I agree with Wanderlust. I think we should make our own fluffeh sexytiem together ,)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:03, Reply)

oh lusty!
If it were in London I'd invite you along for the fun but its in Wiltshire.
Also ms lust have you been on holymoly recently? They have an interview with the beardy mr pip. If I could send links I would but i am spakkified when it comes to IT.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:05, Reply)

Yetis?
Because Junior has been watching the frankly surreal and extremely irritating Backyardigans.

However, I have been reprieved. I don't have to find a Yeti as long as I build him a robot.

As for evidence, a fat bird from Warrington is the correct size, weight, smell and hairiness to double as a Yeti, although as yet Yetis have not been reported to wear Ugg boots.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:06, Reply)

Mornin all
Got back yesterday evening but still have one more interview (by phone) this afternoon (at 4pm).

In the past two days, I had two interviews - they both seemed to go well. Had a very positive impression of the second company. Both said that they must take it to the second-interview stage (if they decide to) before they decide to give me a job.

PS. Happy b3taday beckx
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:06, Reply)

Hmmm...
I don't like this QOTW.
It's not that funny.
It's not miserable enough.

*frowns*

*offers wanderlust alcohol*
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:07, Reply)

*jumps on becky for sexitime*
Thank you missVP I'll go have a look now.
Phwoar I'd rub Mr Pip's beard all over my face!
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:08, Reply)

@Kaol
But I thought that you of all people had just the perfect story for this week's QOTW.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:09, Reply)

Al
When I FINALLY get settled in Ye Olde London Town I will meet everyone and there will be pictures galore and thats a fact! Just the small matter of employment.
Lusty - we should've got a picture of us dancing. But i'm sure there will be more dancing times!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:09, Reply)

*licks Lusty's face*
and now sadly back to work
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:09, Reply)

@Spakka
Kaol does have the ideal story. It's just that he doesn't want to reveal his sensitive, romantic, non-knife-wielding side to us.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:10, Reply)

@LvP
There will be plenty more dancing times!

*drinks Kaol's booze*

*cracks open glow sticks*

*dances*

*licks becky's face*
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:12, Reply)

@wanderlust, becky
Stop it! You're getting me all hot and bothered!

*frustrates*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:13, Reply)

Had a strange dream last night.
Was back at my old school. I realised that of all the parts of the school I had never been naked in, it was the headmaster's office, so I stripped off and sneaked in. It was then that the school secretary came in so I had to sneak out the headmaster's office without her seeing me in the nuddy. I found two towels and covered myself but someone did see me but didn't ask any questions.

When looking for a toilet (to find somewhere to put my clothes back on), I then found myself in part of the school building I had never been to before. It was like a pirate-ship theme-pub that was located on the shore of a lake that looked like a beach. There was a party going on in one of the rooms just below the deck.

Not much else is remembered of that dream.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:15, Reply)

Yeah, you're right...
I could write that story...
But I'm kinda busy today...
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:15, Reply)

@spakka
I'm glad I'm in my head and not yours...
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:23, Reply)

I'm a bit miffed.
I'm wracking by not inconsiderable brain for a story to tell this week and do you think I can think of one?

No. Not a bean.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:28, Reply)

@DiT
I always seem to think of something good to say after the question has closed.

I had a story for the blood one that involved bleeding wanking!

Damn my slow brain :(
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:31, Reply)

.
@DiT:
Care to enlighten us on this project?
Will read Chapter 2 (or 3) of your story sometime. Did you make anymore posts about it since last week? I've not ben on b3ta much this past week.

@Tulip:
Mr. Tulip didn't stay on your profile very long. Any chance of a re-show?

@k2k6:
Then ancrenne could tell the story instead of Kaol

@wanderlust:
My head isn't such a bad place. It's nice and fluffeh! Come and let me show you around. I've purged all the kids dressed up as firemen from my brain.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:35, Reply)

I missed the pic of Mr Tulip?
Bugger and tarnations!
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:37, Reply)

Morning everyone
PC seems to be working long enough for a quick scan on here. Will probably have to head up to the library for any chance of a decent dabble on here.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:38, Reply)

Mornin' BK
@wanderlust: Post the story to the OffTopic board as a late QOTW entry.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:40, Reply)

@spakka
possibly later.

It's quite grotty if I'm honest.
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:41, Reply)

Hey spakka
Been having really odd dreams myself lately.
One last night may well make a decent story. Think I shall work on this this afternoon.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:43, Reply)

@al
On MySpace, would you believe, and it's not that interesting a story:

I think I was drunk, browsing pages being sad and lonely. I saw that she had an Eddie Izzard quote on her page, so gazzed her saying something about liking Eddie too.

Somehow we made friends, drawn together by a mutual love of Eddie Izzard, Bottom and Bill Bailey, and this went on for two years.

One day she came to London for her Birthday with her sister, so we met up. I rather fancied her, but didn't say anything. I think it was about 2 weeks after that that I managed to get up the guts to ask her out and she turned me down.

We went back and forth like that for a bit (I'd recently been hurt badly and she lived in Dorset, 2 of the reasons we were holding off).

But, eventually the DiT charm and wit won through (read: I ground her resistance down), and she agreed.

2 and a half years later (so nearly five in total now) we live together, and are getting married next year.

So, MySpace - I don't use you any more because you are rubbish. But thank you.

@Spakka: The long and short of it is that it's a project based around the fact that it's 204 weeks til the next Olympics in which 204 countries will be taking part. There'll be a different focus on each country each week and their respective Market Research industries. Exciting stuff, I'm sure you'll agree. ;)

EDIT: Lusty! Bleeding wanking? Get posting girl! ;)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:43, Reply)

he's back
take a look before he goes away again.

100! woo!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:44, Reply)

@tulip
Awww, kilt = instant manliness!

*big hugs for loved-upness*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:45, Reply)

snarls and awws at loved up b3tans simultaneously
I'm not sure if I miss a relationship so much, or the idea of a relationship that would work.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:50, Reply)

Yup
Mr Tulip gets top marks for his bekiltedness!

Actually, I don't find it particularly comfortable attire (scrotal freedom notwithstanding), but it's very smart and seems to do it for the laydees.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:52, Reply)

@K2k6
just had a look at you in your kilt.

*swoons*
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:54, Reply)

I like wearing my kilt
It can get very warm on a hot day though, which I fear tomrorow may be at the wedding. I may return as a melted mess.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:55, Reply)

Oh noes
Wanderlust has fainted at the sight of my Scottishness.

*proffers smelling salts to wanderlust*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 11:59, Reply)

kilts ftw
do it al! do it do it do it!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:00, Reply)

I'd only ever get married
For tax reasons.
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:00, Reply)

.
@HLT: Saw him this time. Thanks.

Re Kilts: If it gets too hot, just lie on your back and raise your legs. The heat will escape by convection.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:02, Reply)

@Al
Do it! Well, only if you want to, but you should totally do it!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:02, Reply)

I can't remember.
Something to do with if one of you dies I think.
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:05, Reply)

@PoD
Didn't you say the wedding was in Aberdeen? You'll be fine. Aberdeen and warm are never used in the same breath.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:05, Reply)

I want to pop the Q to Mrs V as well
*soppiness warning*

because I love her to bits and want her to know it.

unfortunately we aren't going to have the cash to get married within the next couple of years and she doesn't want a hugely long engagement...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:05, Reply)

Maybe we could have a b3ta mass wedding
At least that way, if they do group-discounts, we'd save cash.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:07, Reply)

like the Moonies?
could be fun!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:16, Reply)

where is everyone?
have you all gone to the pub, because it's Friday?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:34, Reply)

aw, boo hiss to hot stuffy offices
it's hot in here as well. i might take my top off.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:37, Reply)

Hey Miss T
I've approproated my housemate's laptop so I'm back on.
Resisted the urge to chuck my PC out the window just incase it can be fixed

*edit*
*spluffs*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:37, Reply)

haha Al
If I can't have a job then you can't do yours properly either.
*rubs hands in evil job saboteur glee*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:38, Reply)

.
Am currently doing research for my afternoon interview so am only half on b3ta.

* focuses his orbiting solar-mirror on HLT's office *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:39, Reply)

hello BK!
It's been a while!

ooh, what's that over there?

someone is spying on me!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:42, Reply)

@HLT
I said 'office', not 'orifice'.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:43, Reply)

I'm here...
I've had a really short week (Monday and Tuesday off) and I was out of the office yesterday, so... Yeah, work-stuff.
Woo...

On the plus side, I'm getting the 5:10 to ancrenne.
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:43, Reply)

@ al
yes, come join me!

@spakka. oh.

@kaol - awww!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:45, Reply)

*hugs hlt*
@Kaol
Is that like the 3:10 to Yuma?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:46, Reply)

.
* increases focused heat on HLT's office *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:47, Reply)

blimey, it's got really hot in here now
I've had to open the fire escape and everything. I might have to take my trousers off as well. Just as well I've got these lovely bright pink shorts on.

*fans self with important bits of paper*

*papers blow away*

*cries*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:48, Reply)

Kind of...
But not at all.
It's more like the "A bit after five train to Southampton"
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:49, Reply)

@al
Yup, phenomenally hairy film, that.

In other news, most of the scab came off my new tat in the shower and I don't seem to have had any colour fading so all is good:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:51, Reply)

mmmm
reduced pasty, coke and kit kat

healthy lunch

*removes trousers*

so, what's going on?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:51, Reply)

Hello!
I know you're probably bored of it, but:

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post231113

Entitled: Chapter 3 (or 2), How To Get A Head In Clacton.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:51, Reply)

@ Boss and Al
Was it that hairy? I don't remember it being so. Or do you mean the original? I saw the remake with Russell Crowe and Christian Bale and, erm, didn't pay much attention to the plot/dialogue/scenery.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:53, Reply)

@hlt
It was a film of fantastic facial foliage.
And it was very good, but not for the reasons you seemed to like it:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 12:56, Reply)

I'm off
I need to prepare for my interview fulltime.

Will be back here when it ends (it starts at 4pm).
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:07, Reply)

good luck spakka!
*looks around*

where is everyone?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:10, Reply)

Afternoon all
Looking good there, hlt.

I am eating bagels. Them's some good stuff.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:11, Reply)

good luck spakka!
hello PoD! you're looking mighty fine yourself.

*snogs*

what have you got on your bagels today?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:13, Reply)

afternoon all
I have returned.
I have enough stuff for my metric fuck-tonne of Chocolate Brownies.

As I was paid when I wasn't expecting it I hit the clothes shops too. However as I only ever shop in Primark I bought everything I wanted and only spent £16
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:15, Reply)

Ohh, my arms hurt
I've just been swimming for the first time in 4 weeks.

Well, the first proper time, not counting a couple of times splashing around in Lake Michigan.

*namedrops*

And I'm all hot and sticky now. I may have to do an HLT and remove all my clothes.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:17, Reply)

Well today
My bagels contain cream cheese and a large pile of ham.

Very large pile.


Yay for brownies, as long as they don't make me ill again.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:18, Reply)

You always
Have to go and spoil everything I'm eating, don't you al?

Just as well I was finished them before I read that.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:24, Reply)

@k2k6
oh dear, poorly arms.

*rubs better*

I'm not naked btw. I have another top on which was underneath the one I removed.

although the pants, yeah the pants.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:29, Reply)

Hey Mrs L, PoD
Food could be the way forward. Think I may have an ommelette...omellete...ommelett....scrambled eggs.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:29, Reply)

I know you're not naked, HLT
I was merely using the power of suggestion.

Anyway, that sort of thing can wait for Mondays!

Edit - the arm massage helped though - thanks.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:30, Reply)

I had a packet of crisps
And a Cherry Coke.

That's a fuckin' rubbish lunch.
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:30, Reply)

@PoD
mmmmm yummy. have you ever been to Elephants and Bagels in Embra? it is full of teh win and elephants.

@BK - omelette?

edit@k2k6 - *sings* Monday, Monday...!*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:30, Reply)

@tulip
Could be - some aspiring writer, me.
My spelling used to be spot on.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:34, Reply)

I have never been, but it sounds all of the ace
Perhaps if I pass through Edinburgh any time soon, I shall attempt to find it.

And get lost.

And cry.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:37, Reply)

@ al
!

!!

I mean, really, !!!!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:43, Reply)

@al
After last night's discussions, HLT and I are going out on Mondays. I don't know who she's got arranged for the other days, but I think PoD and several b3taladies are on the list.

Hence my earlier comment regarding Mondays... ;)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:44, Reply)

actually, k2k6
you're the only one with a regular fix, as it were.

i think everyone else was just going for a free-for-all melange.

edit@al. floor sanding? I've never heard it called that before.




what?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:48, Reply)

Loosened up my tongue, al?
Why of course.

*licks own eyebrows*

Online flirting eh? It's great.

If only I were as good at it in real life...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:51, Reply)

Melange?
French for "mixture".
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:53, Reply)

Nah...
You suck Al.
I'm sorry, but it's true.
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:55, Reply)

I meant what Kaol said
but like al's definition better.

actually, no I don't.

but yes, online flirting ftw

just wait till you meet me in real life
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:55, Reply)

Oline flirting is all good and well
But it's much more fun when you actually meet the person in question, in a fairly drunken, nervous daze, outside Threshers in Waterloo station, having just run there from Russell Square.

As people who've met me will attest to, I'm not exactly built for running...
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 13:59, Reply)

^what al said
Couldn't have put it better myself, al!



No, really. I couldn't.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:05, Reply)

@ al and k2k6
aww, how nice!

*awards Fluffeh Medals*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:07, Reply)

Flirtting online FTW!
I'll flirt with anyone.

It's only when I stop flirting with you that you have to be worried.
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:13, Reply)

@hlt
Like your QOTW. Just added my own soppy one.
Not as romantic as your own, more like a one-night stand that's developed into something better.
Miss K now in profile as she's lovely and I like showing her off!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:14, Reply)

Gosh BK!
She's not been anywhere near the ugly stick has she.

But remember looks aren't everything. Can she make a good lasagne?
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:17, Reply)

Miss K is all of the pretty.
Score one for your team BK
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:20, Reply)

^ what they said
she pretty!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:22, Reply)

@BGB
I imagine so, she's a great cook. She made me Moroccan chicken the other week. Gorgeous.

And al, she cleaned my kitchen cos she decided it was a mess. I didn't think there was much wrong with it, but...
I think she's a keeper.

*mong edit*
Replied to myself there!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:22, Reply)

Yes, BK
She's a keeper.

Unless she starts to 'tidy' your shed/garage/workshop/bedroom-desk-with-all-the-crap-on, because of course those places are sacrosanct to a bloke.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:24, Reply)

K2K6
Nail to hammer interface. I am sitting at my lovely Victorian (scruffy) desk, from the top we have....

Roboquad robot thingy.
Mini Scalectrix
Reserve Toolbox
Gun Cleaning Stuff
PS2 Games
Hipflasks (shadly empty)
Knives
Batteries
Torches
Loose shotgun cartridges
Keys
Cables
Cigars
Lighters
Mixed nails & screws
Handcuffs (ahem)
Paracord
Boa Constrictor Skin

Definitely a male zone. I would take a picture but I can't find my camera (it's in there somewhere).

Sheds are also bloke-space. I have been ornamented, decorated and otherwise shoved into these two areas, she has control over the rest.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:31, Reply)

and......
does she have a good sense of humour and like kittums and cake and those wierd bloody japanese films you keep watching?
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:31, Reply)

@BGB
She loves kittums; has a hugely spoiled Burmese at her house. Cake's always a winner.
I haven't attempted to introduce her to some of my more interesting titles as yet, but she loves Amelie and Pan's Labyrinth so that's all good.

@K2 - I have none of those manly things. I have books, DVD's, CDs and clothes. And that's about it.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:36, Reply)

@Osok
And of course every one of those items is of great importance and will be needed at some point in your life.

*shakes head*
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:39, Reply)

@ Bk
I doff my hat dear chum, she be keeper.

I liked Pans Labyrinth also on a side note.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:42, Reply)

Chocolate Brownie update
I have all the chocolate and butter in the world melting in a pan.

( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:42, Reply)

My ideal woman
would have qualities as follows:

-attractive (although not in the FHM way);
-intelligent (I need to be able to converse without having to explain 'difficult' words)
-likes kittens
-can cook (but so can I, so it's not vital)
-will put up with me being out 3+ nights a week playing gigs
-can reverse park
-likes a good laugh (preferably with a sick sense of humour)
-doesn't smoke, or at least is giving up

However, in reality, a pulse, a decent attitude and a bit of wit would do!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:42, Reply)

Oh K2K6
If only I'd met you before mr Bin.

I rule at reverse parking, I've had people stop and watch.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:44, Reply)

@ Mrs liveinabin
That looks rather good. A lot of butter though, didn't realise so much went into it!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:46, Reply)

@ k2k6
Well, if mr tulip decides he doesn't want me any more...

*reverse parks*

*makes cake*

*works late a lot*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:49, Reply)

Well it is a metric fuck-tonne of brownies
That involves a lot of butter.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:50, Reply)

BGB
Naturally.

I'm the one who supplies batteries, can find an emergency screw (oooeerr missus), repair busted sunglasses and make improvised booby traps when under attack from Zombies.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:50, Reply)

Heh
Now I've had two offers, only several years too late.

Damn!

On the reverse parking thing, that was one thing my dad drummed into me and my sister (sorry if that sounds unintentionally rude). Both she and I are quite dogged about reversing our cars into parking spaces, which causes my brother in law some amusement.

But it annoys me when people can't or won't try, then have to reverse out into traffic. And it amuses me highly to watch people making an arse of it.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:53, Reply)

Zombies?
Fuck!
*reaches under desk for Anti-Zombie-Stick*

You desk-based list has made me wonder what's in my jacket.
The answer is:

A blue biro.
Half a pack of throat sweets.
Flyers.
iPod.
Painkillers.
Knife.
Can of Strongbow.
An orange.
Keys.
Knife sharpener.
Old payslips.
A notebook.
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:54, Reply)

It's a four-foot
Shaft of English Oak.

With nails in it.
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:57, Reply)

@ Mrs Bin
What is a fuck-tonne?

Is it, like, a tonne of fuck?

If it is, I want one.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 14:59, Reply)

Kaol
A four foot shaft???? With nails in?

*Reads again*

Oh.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:00, Reply)

Osok...
*grins*

Well, I am English...
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:01, Reply)

@osok
Zombies, eh? I imagine you're house being a bit like this Coheed and Cambria vid:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvH-70bY2C8
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:01, Reply)

@ HLT
Is that a personal ad, or just a statement?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:01, Reply)

200?
No...

@ Ethel

is what a statement, sorry?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:01, Reply)

@Kaol
That made me take a look in my top drawer here at work. Among other stuff, I have found:

several dozen stolen pens
Pritt stick
box of paperclips
packet of tamperproof screws
paracetamols
antihistamines
decongestants
box of condoms (not all there)
bulldog clips
sellotape
25mm PTFE nut
one and a half packets of sugar free Polos
two Swagelok connectors
two staplers
a 3/8" combination spannner
pair of 3D glasses
bent tweezers
box of map pins also containing a passport photo of me
antistatic wrist strap.

There's more, but I can't be arsed digging any further.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:03, Reply)

Sorry
I thought we were back on the extreme piercings thread.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:03, Reply)

A metric Fuck-tonne
is two shed-loads or four helluva-lots.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:04, Reply)

Was that a bird or was it a plane.....
Nooo! it was superancrenne.
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:04, Reply)

ahem
a metric fuck-tonne is also a hundred buttloads
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:06, Reply)

Hummous!
I know what I'm having for dinner tonight :D

K2k6... Condoms? Really? Care to explain?
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:06, Reply)

*rummages*
In my desk there is:

banking envelopes
string
polos
glue
a stanley knife
staples
keys
lots of little multi-coloured stickers
needle and thread
paperclips
a calculator
flipchart markers
loads of glitter
birthday banners
birthday candles (but no cake to put them on)
pencils
CDs
a whole heap of blu-tac
postcards
spare pants
an aardvark
a pot of marmelade
a magical kingdom ruled by four brats and a lion
my boredom threshold.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:06, Reply)

@ HLT
Ney mind, was a rude comment that only worked in my dirty head.

@ BK

Surely the house would have to be better than that one? Unless you strive to be eaten alive?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:08, Reply)

@Kaol
Condoms are rubber things you roll onto your willy before sex to prevent nasty things happening as a result of it, like babies and AIDS.

Just why they're in my desk drawer though, I'm not so sure.

Edit@HLT- Spare pants! In your desk drawer?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:09, Reply)

BK
Pah, amateur stuff.

The first wave will trip over the cats, therefore can be picked off at leisure as even the Unholy Hordes of Satan have a hard time lurching when a Maine Coon is wrapped around their head like a bitey clawy face-hugger.

The second wave will fall down the stairs as they encounter random toys, giving me plenty of time to retreat to the loft, break into next door, descend, and tie the neighbours up. These will then act as zombie bait and a distraction while I nip around behind the massed fleshrippers and take them by surprise with the chainsaw.

SHould I get out more?
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:10, Reply)

My desk
Contains:
- a mighty mouse
- a pile of bank statements
- computer cds
- a 4 foot ruler
- assorted audio cables
- a drum stick

It seems quite boring, but then it's not a work desk.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:12, Reply)

@ OSOK
I reckon you should get out quicker, not more.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:12, Reply)

@k2k6
well, you know, sometimes you might need spare pants.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:12, Reply)

Hmmm...
For the record, that was the list of "Things In My Coat".

Things in my desk is:

An orange.
A scalpel.
A box of scalpel blades.
Rubber bands.
Two boxes of business cards (not mine).
Painkillers.
An annoying lack of pens.
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:13, Reply)

Kaol
Why do you have so many pens oranges?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:17, Reply)

The chocolate and butter have all melted

Look at their sugary goodness:

Right, who wants to clean the bowls?

( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:25, Reply)

@ al
How would I drive to boots if my hand was all trapped in a pant-bandage?

I've just had an idea.

*gazzes ancrenne with new product pitch*


edit@ Mrs Bin please can I lick your spoons?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:25, Reply)

Well done you genious al
This morning I had to find a bank card scanner thing for doing some online banking. Could I find the stupid thing?

Only after about half an hours looking.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:25, Reply)

I like oranges.
And you've always got an excuse for carrying a knife if you've got an orange.
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:26, Reply)

@ al
I know...

*sheepishes*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:33, Reply)

Merry Friday Afternoon!
I have just returned from a lovely Lebanese lunch. Spicy!

Can I help clean the bowls too? *readies tongue*

Mini Compo: Who wants to name the next chapter? It has a cat-burglar in it called Caramel Thorpe. Go!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:35, Reply)

Now then
A cat burglar, called Caramel.

Sticky Pussy?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:43, Reply)

or
Fingers McSticky?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:44, Reply)

DiT
I can't think of one...

I wrote a song yesterday called "To Hell With Good Intentions".
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:45, Reply)

Hahaha
I'm looking for a bit more punnage...

I like the name of your song, K-Dog. What's it aboot?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:47, Reply)

I have no problem with people breast feeding in public.
It's the most natural thing in the world.
But really, do you have to walk into my office and make me coo over your darling little one while he's slurping away?
If I knew you better it might be ok, but well we've just met and now I've seen milk dribble from your nipple.
At least sit down somewhere and have a little break whilst your at it.
I do not appreciate your heaving, milk filled breast being shoved under my nose whilst I'm trying to drink my cup of tea.

Also...Your kid is boss eyed and funny looking.
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:48, Reply)

It's about
A man suffering from a tempory lapse in moral values.

I really like the title too, haha!
My band said that it's gotta be the title of our EP.
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:49, Reply)

Sorry about that, Lusty...
*puts breasts away*

Won't happen again... ;)

EDIT: @Kaol - sounds good!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:49, Reply)

@ wanderlust
You seem to have a thing for breasts in public...

:P

EDIT: Al, I was being subtle..
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:52, Reply)

Just a quickie
I've just taken a booking for one of our regulars, who used to be the controller for the rival taxi company in town. She's disliked by the drivers because she doesn't just pay and get out, she keeps them talking for a good ten minutes after they arrive.

I hadn't heard from her for a couple of weeks so when she called I asked how she was.

She told me she'd been in hospital but was slowly on the mend now. I took her booking and sent a car out to pick her up.

The driver, of Kashmiri origin, totally spot-on but usually quite quiet, called over the radio saying he was still waiting for her to come out. I told him she'd been in hospital so give her a few minutes as she wasn't fully recovered.

"Has she had a tongue transplant?" was his response.

Sorry, that just made me cackle for a good few minutes.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:55, Reply)

I was rather embarrassed
about mitchellgate.

I honestly have no problems with breast feeding in public, but walking around dribbling breastmilk over my keyboard is a different matter!
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:55, Reply)

eew milk dribble
I can see how that would put you off a cup of tea.
I went through a phase of getting my nipples out in public, shortly after I got the left one pierced. By the time I got the right one done I stopped. I haven't flashed anyone for ages.
Although Mr VP claims I showed our mutual friend my lady parts after getting them pierced although I'm convinced it was her showing me hers, not the other way round.
I really should ask her.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:55, Reply)

I'm sensing
a lot of scope in the last few minutes for invoking Al's rule...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:57, Reply)

@ LvP
You're welcome to re-enact as per the "no photos, it didn't happen rule".
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:58, Reply)

hmm
The rule may have been called into play but I don't believe I did the flashing so I shan't be putting photos up today.
besides I don't think I have any photos of my bits. or do i? No i'm pretty sure I don't.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:01, Reply)

@AL
I don't think it's a bad thing at all! I'm pro breast feeding.
I was just a little shocked to have some woman I don't know shove her tit in my face and make me look at her kid.

Her baby may be the centre of her universe, but he's not the centre of mine!

If she was sitting down, taking it easy and giving him a feed I honestly wouldn't have batted an eyelid.
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:03, Reply)

We quite often seem to have breast feeding mothers in my work
No-one really bothers.

I seem to be having dinner far too early tonight, as I need to leave home at 5:30 to pick someone up in Glasgow.

And I'm slightly worried that I'm not going to fit everything in my car too.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:13, Reply)

The only thing worse
Than screamy children is their stupid, blindly-focused parents.

Honestly...

*engages rant mode*

Last night I had a band practice.
After an hour we decided to get some frankly horrific McShakes from the nearby McDonalds.
Yes, I admit that was a mistake.

A swarm of rat-faced scumbags with their buck-toothed crotch-fruit issued forth as I opened the door.

Screaming brats filled the place.

This was about ten at night.
Why the fuck were there kids there at that time of night?

Honestly.
McDonalds-based scum really do put the 'tard in mustard.
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:15, Reply)

I find it interesting
how attitudes on this sort of thing vary. It's generally accepted in Britain (and indeed accepted in law in Scotland) that breastfeeding in public is OK. Tits on the telly are no big deal, at least after 9pm.

But the Americans have a different perspective. They are quite happy to make and show films with gratuitous violence, many people own a gun and keep it in their own home, and yet when Janet Jackson flashed a nipple during the Superbowl, the nation* went crazy.

*OK, the media and the political bandwagonners at least.

Calm down, America. It's only a tit. We've all got them (some nicer than others, admittedly). It won't kill, injure or otherwise physically damage you.

If this had happened in Germany, for example, it probably would have passed almost without comment.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:17, Reply)

K2K6
I think two big posts in a row have kiled the thread...

Ah well...

Time to lower the tone...

*unzips jeans*
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:25, Reply)

*wanders in*
*looks at kaol*

*grabs knife and fork*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:26, Reply)

I
am currently just lurking, enjoying the view.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:28, Reply)

Classy as always mr K
Well, this pizza not only looks rubbish, it doesn't taste great either to be honest.

Meh.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:28, Reply)

Boobies are amazing.
I love having them.

I don't understand why people are offended by them (I still don't like showing mine over air hockey tables) but I don't want strangers dribbling them all over me.

I agree with K2k6 though. If the choice is violence or flesh, give me flesh every time!
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:29, Reply)

have slid back into lurkdom for a bit
but yes, kaol, you were right.

@PoD - weren't you nomming some bagels about an hour ago?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:29, Reply)

@ wanderlust
I'll have a bit of both flesh and violence.

*cracks whip*
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:30, Reply)

Afternoon
Lurking this afternoon! Howya folks?
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:30, Reply)

Like I said yesterday
Men never tire of looking at breasts.

Well, I don't, at least.

I'm off home shortly. I'll be thinking of boobies.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:31, Reply)

I'll take violence
Resulting in delicious, fresh flesh.

Right, I'm off in 15 minutes.
Don't you dare go quiet on me!
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:31, Reply)

@ethelred
ummm you are aware what I used to do for a living aren't you?
*laughs*
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:32, Reply)

3 and half hours actually hlt
And it's because I need to pack the car and then leave in an hour, and do some dishes, and take the rubbish out. So I have to eat early.

I don't feel at all hungry.

Busy at the theatre today/tonight?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:33, Reply)

I prefer my flesh
still alive, and clearly visible.

On that note, I'm off home. May be around here over the weekend at some point.

Bye all.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:33, Reply)

See ya K
Have a good weekend, I'll be back on Monday.
( Cawl, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:36, Reply)

bye kaol, k2k6
Boobies ftw.

I love having them. And i like putting them in pretty bras and things too.

So yes they are ace.

edit@ PoD, surprisingly no, we've no show on tonight so I will hie me home to spend some quality time with mr tulip, for the first time this week!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:39, Reply)

Has everyone gone?
*twiddles thumbs*

*makes sure no one is looking*

*jiggles boobies*
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:50, Reply)

I think it's just you and me lusty
*jiggles own boobies and forms some sort of booby mexican wave*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:51, Reply)

I'm here
But am about to disappear, and get ready to go.

Have fun weekends all, and see you all Monday.

Have a good evening with Mr Tulip m'dear.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:51, Reply)

Anyone still around
Flitted off to eat ommelette, smoke, and play a bit of Mariokart. Read another few pages of Oscar and Lucinda.
Brilliantly written, but taking a while to get into.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:53, Reply)

bye bye PoD
Boobie bonanza!
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:53, Reply)

*eyes widen at boobie jigglage*
*hides behind foliage*
*feels like Livingstone*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:56, Reply)

I love boobies
and brownies


( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:57, Reply)

*puts boobies away*
I didn't know anyone was watching!

*whistles*
nopes, no boobies here.

Edit: Wow MrsBin those look lovely! nom nom nom!
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:57, Reply)

Afternoon
Just had my phone-interview. It seemed to go well. Unlike the other two companies, they will decide whether or not to give me a job offer without a second interview.

EDIT: Yay! Boobies.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:59, Reply)

Mrs L.
They look awesome!
I'm suddenly very hungry (not just for boobies).
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:59, Reply)

phwoar!
those boobies brownies look well nomful.

Right, I'm off for the day. Yay me, I get to go home in the daylight again!

Back tomorrow for the quiet weekend shift though...

bye all!

*snogs*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:59, Reply)

Bye HLT
Boobies and brownies FTW.

Now, immagine boob-shaped brownies.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 17:01, Reply)

@al
He hasn't got much else to do these days.
Brownies & Boobies. Instant sticky win!

Bye hlt
*snog*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 17:01, Reply)

I'm not quite out the door just yet
but this has reminded me of a story involving my boobies and some chocolate body paint and a white satin blouse.

i don't have time to post it now though, i'll leave you all to salivate in anticipation.

*flashes*

*snogs*

bye!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 17:05, Reply)

@al
So that's who it was! That pesky Ken, rummaging around in my bush trying to catch a glimpse of my boobies!
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 17:06, Reply)

No he wasn't
He was looking for newts.

At least that's what he's basing his defence on...
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 17:12, Reply)

* salivates *
* at the chocolate paint *

* and of course what it covered *

* no, not the white satin blouse *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 17:13, Reply)

osok
I'm pretty sure he'd find no newts in my bush.
Cobwebs maybe, but newts, no.
( wanderlust, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 17:15, Reply)

Anyone still around
so I can pimp myself?

Click here to make me your bitch!*

* I may not actually be your bitch

EDIT: Guess not. Well, I'm off to get the train now, I'll be back on later tonight maybe.

*snogs to the ladies*
*manly and totally not gay hugs to the men*

Byeeee!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 17:23, Reply)

I'm still around
Bye DiT.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 17:31, Reply)