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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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#ledgebantz
If you could do any job what would it be?

Alt: A bloke I work with doesn't like Chinese food or "chinky" as I like to call it. My mate's wife doesn't eat cheese. What everyday item do you wierdly not like/eat, you freak?
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:36, 240 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
I'd be summat to do with shagging Rihanna
Alt: I can't stand celery, aubergine, Weiss beer or apples with faces superimposed on them.

/edgy
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:37, Reply)
Weiss beer?
Bit controversial.

Rihanna is a pig.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:40, Reply)
She is isn't she!
I've never understood the attraction.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:19, Reply)
I never understand people that don't like Chinese food
My wife claimed not to but hasn't complained at the many chinese dishes I have served her and just not told her its chinese. THeres hundreds of dishes and they taste different.

I don't like Bananas
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:39, Reply)
Haha. I don't like bananas either. Shitty texture, rubbish taste.
So your Mrs wouldn't order a Chinese or go in a "chinky"?
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:41, Reply)
No
Oh I finally found you a good place to eat in Falmouth. Bit late I know but if you do end up joining Swipey in September Pandoras is excellent.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:43, Reply)
I read that and thought....
Why are Stunned and Swipe going to wear big hats in September?
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:45, Reply)
Hahahaha.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:47, Reply)
Because they have big heads?

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:49, Reply)
Good to know.
I'll deffo be back. I might come down between Xmas and new year.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:45, Reply)
I went on a night out in Falmouth once, my girlfriend at the time was from Sennen.
Also, a guy from York now DJs in Falmouth and he's excruciatingly bad.

Is it bad form to name and shame?
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:47, Reply)
Are his initials PK?

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:48, Reply)
No.
P Dozer
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:49, Reply)
P-Dizzy

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:52, Reply)
Just fucking name and shame

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:56, Reply)
'Green Renegade'.
He is also 'a tosser'.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:00, Reply)


(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:04, Reply)
His facebook isn't locked down.
His missus is ok though
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:07, Reply)
Never mind she's not his missus
LOLZ!
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:09, Reply)
Stand-up comedy lol
Alt: I ent to fond of eggs. They're just a bit meh. Don't not like em, just don't ... like em.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:41, Reply)
You've got to have stones like SuperMat to do stand up.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:44, Reply)
I was actually mocking myself there. I don't think I'm a funny guy.
Not deliberately, anyway.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:53, Reply)
Why did Kroney only have one egg for breakfast?

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:44, Reply)
Cos one egg is un'oeuf.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:46, Reply)
I've always prefered
Because un'oeuf is un'oeuf
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:47, Reply)
WITHAKNIFE!

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:48, Reply)
Because he wasn't very hungry?

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:54, Reply)
Because he had a bowl of hot chocolate, into which he dipped pieces of bread?

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:55, Reply)
Please can I have a technical role associated with Bbc Test Match Special, you know, on the wireless?
Or maybe a kind of sports analyst sort of thing in cycling or cricket, reckon I'd enjoy that.

Alt: no butter on sandwiches, no raw cheese.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:43, Reply)
What do you mean by raw cheese?

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:46, Reply)
Not melted or cooked.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:47, Reply)
weirdo

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:48, Reply)
SO IS YOU ARE FACE

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:49, Reply)
By butter, do you mean any type ofspread? Margarine, etc?

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:47, Reply)
Yes.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:48, Reply)
I don't put marge or butter in sangers. Usually mayo.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:50, Reply)
I have found most shops do this now with pre made sangers, which has opened up a whole new world of meal deals I previously missed out on.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:51, Reply)
Oddly enough, I was about to write exactly the same thing.
Sitting about, watching cricket sounds absolutely perfect.

Plus all the TMS team are up to their ears in weapons-grade quim.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:55, Reply)
I can't remember that saying properly, the one about finding a job you love and you'll never work again or something.
Anyway, that would be mine.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:57, Reply)
Sounds ideal. Followed by a couple of months in Oz, the West Indies, or SA over the winter.
Not so sure about shitting through the eye of a needle in India, Pakistan or SL though...
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:59, Reply)
Sri Lanka is supposed to be a good tour. NZ too, I'd like to go there.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:00, Reply)
One of the benefits of working from home
is that I've got TMS on the radio in the office and the match on the telly through in the living room. Perfect.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:03, Reply)
I have it on the radio at work, but I'd like to work from home or have a bit of the old flexi-time so I could do and watch more of the stuff I enjoy, especially cricket related.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:05, Reply)
I was also going to say TMS
Unfortunately I missed out on the test match career beforehand,
being a man of great impotence I too have the radio on (THROUGH THE INTERNET IF YOU CAN BELIEVE THAT WITCHCRAFT)
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:09, Reply)
NO WAY ME TOO!!!

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:11, Reply)
WITCHCRAFT 5's

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:15, Reply)
That's crazy talk
I listen to the radio...get this...on a radio! Whodathunkit?
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:18, Reply)
MAVERICK^

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:20, Reply)
* Puts kettle on*

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:25, Reply)
I'm thinking about applying for this:
metro.co.uk/2014/07/29/its-a-job-of-sorts-sex-toy-company-advertises-for-its-first-male-orgasm-engineer-4813642/

Alt: Nothing springs to mind, no.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:51, Reply)
Cepting meat.
"guybrator". FFS.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:53, Reply)
Im over qualified

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 13:55, Reply)
I'd like a job that was a rare skill, so I could do stuff at my own pace,
You know, like specialist stone masonry or leather work or something.

Alt: I really don't like curry. I like spicy food, but curry (and I mean English curry) often just looks a bit like slop. And that puts me off.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:08, Reply)
Now now children

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:13, Reply)
Its all going to go off again
We need some meatheads in black bomber jackets to stand around the sides being all intimidating
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:18, Reply)
Alright

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:18, Reply)
Oh, heads :(

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:18, Reply)
So near and yet...

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:20, Reply)
I'd be a pastry chef
it pays even less than science though sadly. I'd never have to learn statistics though and that can only be a Good Thing.

Alt: celery. It can fuck right off.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:21, Reply)
I'd be famous. Singing, acting, whatever.
Alt. I have a dislike for melon.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:21, Reply)
even warmed up with a hole bored in it?

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:22, Reply)
No, because I have actual sex.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:28, Reply)
A woman for duty / A boy for pleasure / But a melon for ecstasy

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:29, Reply)
hahahaha

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:34, Reply)
at least it doesn't talk back, I suppose

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:38, Reply)
Actual sex needs a penis and vagina. We've already established you lot are just wanking each other off with various parts of your anatomy.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:32, Reply)
So you're still a virgin then.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:38, Reply)
And what's wrong with that?

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:39, Reply)
Svaing yourself for Jebus

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:41, Reply)
You "boys" love the arts.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:26, Reply)
I was about to point out that being famous isn't a job
But then I realised it is now.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:27, Reply)
Not for you it isn't.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:28, Reply)
But I don't want to be famous, it looks like a dreadful business

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:30, Reply)
I know pet, I was just having a giggle.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:32, Reply)
xx

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:34, Reply)
I'd like somdthing in medicine. It pays better than the pub trade.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:30, Reply)
The jig is up. You lying, Godless, heathen.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:37, Reply)
I'd want to be a rock and roll guitar player
or a plasterer.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:32, Reply)
I plastered YM's face last night

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:32, Reply)
textbook

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:34, Reply)
I rock and roll guitar played YM last night

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:35, Reply)
I fingerpicked YMs fretboard this morning

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:36, Reply)
Ah the old "sideways lofted fizzy knicker flicking finger" eh

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:37, Reply)
Uh huh

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:36, Reply)
Loadsamoney!

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:36, Reply)
Oh god
When was the last time you listened to that? I watched the video on the old Youtube very recently. I cringed so much my entire body turned inside out.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:37, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON-7v4qnHP8
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:39, Reply)
UH OH

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:42, Reply)
If I'm going down, I'm taking you all with me

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:44, Reply)
If you could talk to my wife about that it would be much appreciated.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:47, Reply)
By all means

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:48, Reply)
And none of your double capped charm this time
I barely touched the sides after :(
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:50, Reply)
I've got the single somewhere.
Could probably have a fair crack at reciting the lyrics and all.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:40, Reply)
I have it too!
I bought that and 'Anfield Rap' on the same day. Footballers don't seem to make amusing novelty records anymore. They take themselves too seriously I reckon.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:43, Reply)
Alright Aldo?

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:45, Reply)
Everton's 'Ere We Go was pretty good and all

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:46, Reply)
EZQ helped to write the Anfield rap
FACT FANS
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:47, Reply)
Oh dear.
Alright Aldo
Sound as a pound
I'm cushty la but there's nothing down
The rest of the lads ain't got it sussed
We'll have to learn 'em to talk like us
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:48, Reply)
How long ago was that?
Without looking I'm going to guess '87
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:49, Reply)
88

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:50, Reply)
FA Cup werent it so 88

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:50, Reply)
Ah, close
I was 11
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:52, Reply)
I enjoyed scaffolding with my old man. Hard graft, enjoyable and fucking well paid.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:47, Reply)
Geordie Jay scaffolded your old man last night.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:48, Reply)
He said it was hard graft, enjoyable and fucking well paid.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:50, Reply)
hahaha
genuine office chuckle
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:51, Reply)
Me too. Building trade is very well paid, that's why they are in the boozer every night.

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:56, Reply)
Mate was a builder
Retired aged 50 with 10 houses. Cunt.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 15:00, Reply)
You're one of the idiots who would have done a fortnights plumbing course because the papers said they all earn £70k a few years ago

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 15:02, Reply)
With his cock?

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:50, Reply)
No, with aluminium

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 14:54, Reply)
Heyyou, the rocksteady crew!
Alt ,do the joboxer beat!
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 15:24, Reply)
I steer clear of Chinese as a rule but it's okay when I have it, just I prefer other cuisines
popcorn is like eating styrofoam peanuts so fuck that.

Not a huge fan of nuts, generally, either.
(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 15:37, Reply)
Sweet and Salted Popcorn is fucking delicious

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 15:39, Reply)
Something Something popped my salty corns something YM something

(, Tue 29 Jul 2014, 15:50, Reply)

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