Anniversaries
As I mentioned earlier, today is my 6th wedding anniversary. Do you celebrate anniversaries/birthdays or just let them slide past?

Best/Worst meals out? I'm off here this evening for some top scran
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:23, 113 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

frog has to celebrate them
celebrate them GOOD.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:26, Reply)

WARNING
Celebrate or celibate
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:30, Reply)

Just let them slide past, bit old for all that nonsense now.
I'm sure Swipe feels the same.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:28, Reply)

This.
But your rap outburst earlier means I'm currently belatedly celebrating the 25th birthday of Paul's Boutique.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:29, Reply)

RIP Nathanial Hörnblowér.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:31, Reply)

We sure do! Birthdays, anyway.
We both feel that celebrating anniversaries if you're not married is a bit stupid. I still get her some flowers or something, though; unmarried anniversaries might be a bit stupid, but I'm not.
( Kroney, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:29, Reply)

this^
When we got married I didn't quite know how or if to mark the day we got together
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:30, Reply)

when you get married, you have to mark BOTH
MOAR FLOWERS
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:31, Reply)

girls like flowers

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:31, Reply)

so do some boys
my friend told me to buy a big bunch of flowers for her fiance for his 40th. she did add that she is sure he is gay.

when i gave them to him, he said, "i'm not gay."

i said i had bought pink ones, just in case. and 2 bottles of wine.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:32, Reply)

...which he then shoved straight up his shitpipe

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:33, Reply)

they were really beautiful bottles of wine, so i fucking well hope not
i got a thank you from her whilst i was in cornwall, saying "thanks for the wine, skanker". i asked which bottle she was supping. she said, BOTH.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:40, Reply)

See, I don't understand this
I love having flowers in the house. I buy them myself quite often. The upside to my dad dying was that I recieved a beautiful bouquet from my auntie.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:39, Reply)

i am finding this hard to reconcile with the wrestler picture

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:40, Reply)

I buy her flowers quite often, but it's mostly to disguise the smell of my socks
that I leave lying around the flat. I appreciate their masking abilities, but I can't really see the point of them, otherwise.
( Kroney, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:42, Reply)

I do
That's why I'm still married
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:33, Reply)

I'll probably carry on with the smallish first date gifts
and do the old classic themed marriage anniversary ones, if I ever do get married.
( Kroney, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:38, Reply)

I did 1st which was paper
I got a wedding photo printed out on canvas. I did "lol" this year when our iron fucked up as according to SOME parts of the internet, 6 years is iron.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:43, Reply)

There should be a scheduled delivery service for interflora really.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:36, Reply)

Congratufuckinglations
It's my 10th wedding anniversary this year. And 17 years since we met. Christ.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:36, Reply)

12 years together for the cows
Well done hat + hat
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:37, Reply)

Don't get me wrong, it's mainly laziness that keeps us together
It's way more effort to split up than it is to stay together.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:40, Reply)

yeah, you'd have to find someone else to look after the budgie
kids, i mean kids.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:41, Reply)

I did 13 and a half years before getting rid
I've never looked back. High blood pressure back then, but all fine now. Speaks volumes.

I'm sure my ex probably says the same.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:53, Reply)

OLD ^

( Kroney, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:38, Reply)

it took you 7 years to propose?
or it took her 7 years to accept?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:39, Reply)

Is that a long time?
I don't consider that a long time.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:41, Reply)

i was implying that he's really ugly
don't spoil it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:41, Reply)

Oh.
The only friend I have that's currently married had been with his missus about 4 years, I think. Around the two-year mark she'd told him when and where he had to propose, and then how long after that the wedding would be.

We all ripped the piss out of him for being a great big wetty.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:43, Reply)

i hate that sort of shit
one of my former colleagues created a pinterest page so that her pussywhipped fiance could see how to do it. she had a photograph of the ring, the bridge in paris with the padlocks, the works. ridiculous. where's the fun or spontaneity in that?

i lol'd when the bridge collapsed.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:44, Reply)

hahaha.
That sort of thing just wouldn't work with me. My main motivation to do anything ever is to get it done before I get pestered about it. If you pester me regardless then I just don't bother.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:47, Reply)

^THIS^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:53, Reply)

you forgot the ending. it goes:
THIS IS WHY MEN SUCK
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:08, Reply)

No
Pester me about something = bottom of the TO DO list
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:15, Reply)

^^^^^

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:17, Reply)

\o/

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:19, Reply)

On a completely different note, and clearly not as a vehicle to really drive the point home, I recieved a text message today that said
"And no more nagging from me"

Just sayin'
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:21, Reply)

it said shagging
not nagging
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:23, Reply)

YESSSSSS my anus needs a rest

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:25, Reply)

It's only nagging when we have to repeat ourselves.
And we wouldn't have to repeat ourselves if you'd just do what you're fucking told in the first place.

I find that communicating the urgency or otherwise of a request helps. If you ask for something to be done, but don't specify it needs to be done within a certain timeframe, it tends to get added to the *end* of a list. Most of the time, and I know I'm generalising wildly, men appreciate having all the facts.

Men are shit at mind reading. Even Derren Brown. I bet Derren Brown's wife is sick of telling him shit.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:26, Reply)

Derren Brown's wife is in for a world of trouble

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:27, Reply)

Derren Brown is gay so he doesn't have to put up with all this shit.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:27, Reply)

Is he?
I didn't pick Evan Davies either. I think my gaydar needs to go back to the shop.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:29, Reply)

Hes a mind bender

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:30, Reply)

i had dinner with him and his boyfriend
i had no idea who he was. when he said he had to leave because he had to be at work for 3am, i assumed he was just a runner. but he is utterly charming.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:31, Reply)

^ this ^
the bottom of the list is where shit like cricket and horrible muddy bicycles and hordes of smelly LPs and rustbucket cars live. the top of the list is for important things.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:30, Reply)

Your mistake there is "telling", not "asking".
If you want to "tell" me to do something you immediately invoke the "do it your fucking self" clause.
( Kroney, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:31, Reply)

facetious reply was facetious.
I actually don't 'tell' me b3th to do things. I ask. With a 'please' and everything. Then if it doesn't get done I assume he has forgotten or has some other reason why he can't do it, and I do it myself. Apparently it's what grown-ups do, or something.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:37, Reply)

It's what grown ups do, yeah.
Though not what some people in this thread seem to do, which I guess answers my own implied question.
( Kroney, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:47, Reply)

people in "failing to spot facetiousness" shocker

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:49, Reply)

^This

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:55, Reply)

*this fives*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:57, Reply)

\o/

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:01, Reply)

^^ Gormo speaks for all men.

( Kroney, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:09, Reply)

I proposed on Valentines Day
whilst sitting on the settee watching telly.

^romantic^
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:45, Reply)

She was at university, I was working, we were broke and wanted children
At the time it was important to us to be married before we had any, so we waited. We now realise it means absolutely nothing.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:48, Reply)

but... i was implying you were really ugly
it's almost like it wasn't remotely clever or funny :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:53, Reply)

Birthdays yes.
Anniversary - Mrs V and I have two - when we met and when we married. They're a week apart.

We give that much of a toss that a couple of years ago we were working on something, and I looked at the date and suddenly said "Oh! It's our wedding anniversary!". We kissed quickly, and carried on working.

Mrs V LOVES Christmas, though. LOVES it.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:41, Reply)

Christmas is awesome now we have kids
I totally get it now. Also, what's not to like about stocking the house up with beer, wine, spirits, cheese and meat?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:44, Reply)

when my mum was around, christmas was unbelievably awesome
because she put in so much time and effort. the woman started shopping in august.

lying on a beach and forgetting about it works well too.

but as far as i can see, most of my friends' kids just rip the paper off and scream that awwwwwww they've already got that one, didn't santa know.... grrrr!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:46, Reply)

Spoilt kids innit
We do the Santa train on Christmas Eve and they are both FAR TOO excited. Get them to write lists, carrot out for the reindeer, Baileys for Santa. It'll be shit when they are about 10 and aren't interested
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:56, Reply)

yep
my brother's kids are lovely, but they aren't yet old enough to be polite about things. so last year my dad spent an absolute fortune on pantomime tickets for everyone. at the interval, my nephew announced: "there are 8 exit signs in this theatre..."

his sister, on the other hand, demanded that they "play it again" when it finished, so at least one of them emjoyed it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:07, Reply)

I went to a pantomime last year for the first time ever
I dont like pantomimes
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:08, Reply)

Isn't this the sort of thing you send the kids off to with some idiot who is so broody they're just greatful to spend the time with some kids?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:10, Reply)

the best cure for anyone who is broody
is to spend time with someone else's kids
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:18, Reply)

Yer - kids make Christmas.
Personally, though, I like the whole breakfasting on bucks fizz, beers for lunch, start on the whisky by 4pm watching new DVDs sort of stuff.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:46, Reply)

Me too
Not having to hide the daytime drinking is a real treat.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:51, Reply)

this^
MASSIVE bacon for breakfast, drinking all day, then cheese and wine to finish. I always aim to consume at least 10,000 calories
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:57, Reply)

+more than usual

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:57, Reply)

trudat

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:02, Reply)

I knew the magic of Christmas died around the time my parents started waking me up for it.
I only like it if we go my uncle's as he's like a Worcester version of Alf Garnett who goes on massive rants and moans like fuck every time my aunt asks him to do something, which is more or less every time his arse touches a chair.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:50, Reply)

Really didn't enjoy Christmas last year, won't this year either.
Christmas with someone else's family just isn't that much fun, especially when they give you weird looks for agreeing to a beer.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:54, Reply)

Fuck me, that was a quick courtship!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:51, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:53, Reply)

I don't fuck about.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:01, Reply)

That I can remember the date we first met usually suffices
Year 14 or marriage is coming up so it'll probably be low key this year and something special next year. What with 15 being such a special number and all. I guess. She wants to go to Venice so we might do that. I really don't give a fuck so long as I get some decent food, wine and bi-annual sexehtimes.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:49, Reply)

We do something nice for our anniversairy, and I get relentlessly pissed for my birthday
It's all good.

Alt: Monday was a contender for the worst, housemate and I went to Revolution for some cheap food, we were told it was a half hour wait. Turned out being an hour, although it was tasty. We asked for the bill, 20 minutes later no sign of that. The staff were being run ragged, it was a bit of a pisstake. Spoke to someone at the bar, turned out they'd had 1 chef and about 3 waitresses walk out the day before, so they were fucked. Ah well, getting a free meal and a few drinks out of that.

Best meal was either the steak place a few months back, or the Lebanese restaurant we went to at Christmas, the food was incredible.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 10:50, Reply)

Lebanese just eat fish, right?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:35, Reply)

Nah, they eat falafel too
I'd never had it freshly made before, it was fucking fantastic.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:41, Reply)

I think this was a lesbian joke, AA
Can't be sure, though.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:34, Reply)

I just make another chalk mark before angrywanking myself to sleep

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:05, Reply)

Please report back on what makes the service "sassy"
are all the waiters flaming queens?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:18, Reply)

Not the last time I went, no
Food was absolutely tremendous though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:18, Reply)

It's ours on the 18th. Four years, who'dathunkit?
This September will be fifteen years since we met, and next March will be fifteen years since I moved down here.
I'm good at remembering anniversaries and birthdays, but I can't see a need for making a huge fuss. The last thing most married couples need is more shit to clutter up a house.

In other news, I've got a double shift at work today, and I'm fighting off a migraine. This is shit.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:20, Reply)

I have this afternoon off
and am spending it taking Mrs Cow for an echo on her heart at the cost of £200
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:22, Reply)

Shouting into her chuff doesn't count as a heart echo.
Just saying.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:27, Reply)

....aying.....aying
...aying
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:31, Reply)

I've taken the day off for ours, too.
It's a Monday, which means I have a day off either side anyway, so technically we could go away or something. I know we won't though. We'll just sit around the house watching films or something.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:38, Reply)

Nowt wrong with that
A period of doing fuck all is a most pleasant way of passing some time
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:41, Reply)

It's the time spent with the other person not where you spend it.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:41, Reply)

Haha! we do this too.
we do get out and about occasionally.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:41, Reply)

Wedding anniversaries count
Girlfriend and boyfriend don't. Oh I've been fucking you for a year, have a card. I've been married 7 years and remember my anniversary. I don't however remember the month, let alone the day we officially became a couple. I can't remember the rules, is it first kiss or first fuck? I'm far to old to have made it official by saying "Will you be my girlfriend" Or "Will you go out with me"
( Peej, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:24, Reply)

i find when you pull her hair and she hits you with her bag its official

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:34, Reply)

bag cock
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:38, Reply)

c b
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:41, Reply)

super!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:42, Reply)

Bock is a strong lager of German origin. Several substyles exist, including maibock (helles bock, heller bock), a paler, more hopped version generally made for consumption at spring festivals; doppelbock (double bock), a stronger and maltier version; and eisbock, a much stronger version made by partially freezing the beer and removing the ice that forms.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:42, Reply)

I always do something. Maybe go out to eat but nothing extravagant.
Mind I've never had a relationship last more than three years.

I love going to Australasia in Manchester. Lovely food an surroundings.
For fast food it's always Rice Fusion. Nommy
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:30, Reply)

I've got today and tomorrow off
At what point should I start drinking and what should I drink?
( Peej, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:50, Reply)

This question implies that you haven't already started drinking.
Poor show, that man. Poor show.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:52, Reply)

this^
NOW is the correct answer
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:53, Reply)

Breakfast cans
Lunchtime cans
A nice sophisticated bottle of Famous Grouse in the evening.
( Kroney, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:57, Reply)

with a dash of irn bru

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:13, Reply)

fuck a horse

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:55, Reply)

OK, will do

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jul 2014, 12:00, Reply)