Hahahahahahahahahaha.
Where's Swipe?

Stuck on a lah-dee-dar tube in Hammersmith?

I hate South London with my 30 minute door to desk commute.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:36, 2 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

My commute was 7 feet
working from home is pretty good in some ways.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:38, Reply)

Small home though

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:39, Reply)

with a shit postcode

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:40, Reply)

Its fine once you get used to all the derros
But seriously this by far not the the worst place I have lived.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:42, Reply)

I jest.
Swipe is the postcode obsessed fake snob.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:43, Reply)

In that case:
Dear 'Swipe

Why not try judging everything against LS12. It will turn your world view from one of snobbery to that of starry-eyed wonder at the beauty of it all.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:46, Reply)

yep
but good views, I'm four stories up.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:40, Reply)

shirking from home MORE LIKE!
I can't really work from home because we have daily interraction with other organisations through the medium of human beings.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:39, Reply)

sounds terrible

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:40, Reply)

there's a lot less masturbation than your working day

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:40, Reply)

Fewer

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:41, Reply)

mucho

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:42, Reply)

sounds terrible

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:42, Reply)

Quality over quantity though, innit
You get the added frisson knowing that the office door could burst open at any moment
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:43, Reply)

disabled bogs door

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:44, Reply)

I bet you don't lock it

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:45, Reply)

if it opens you just maintain eye contact without stopping
they'll just quietly roll backwards and shut the door
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:47, Reply)

i'd done 30 mins work then popped downstairs for a manicure and blow-dry
now back at my desk, persuading insurers on the other side that they actually need to cough up some of the money that they rape people for every year. since you ask.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:47, Reply)

I know you can't give details
but what is the worst insurance rapage you have seen?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:49, Reply)

god, every single day. but for sheer meanness, and one i can talk about, this one was bad, i thought
my sister-in-law's case didn't turn up when we went on holiday one year, and she had to spend a couple of hundred quid buying clothes and things for a week, because that was the earliest the airline could drop the case off. she wanted to claim on her holiday insurance when she got back, but they told her she needed the credit card statement.

so she waited for it to arrive, and then sent it off. the insurer then refused the claim.

because she was 1 day over the time limit for claiming.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:55, Reply)

Cunts

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:57, Reply)

it was particularly low, i thought
i hope that claims handler loses his/her baggage every holiday forEVER.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:58, Reply)

Couldnt she have contacted her CC provider and asked for a statement
so she didn't have to wait so long?
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:58, Reply)

hindsight is 20/20

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:00, Reply)

hindsight MD
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:03, Reply)

The strawberry flavour was the most palatable one for both going in and back out again

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:04, Reply)

I've never drank it
TRUFAX
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:07, Reply)

I have never tried MD 20/20
am I missing out bigtime?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:07, Reply)

Judging by the glow in the dark colours, no

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:09, Reply)

It's easily one of the best wines on the market

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:10, Reply)

oh man
I bet the french are well jealous
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:13, Reply)

Up there with the delights of TBird

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:20, Reply)

Not had that either
I was always a Strongbow under-age drinker
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:23, Reply)

I dont recall any flavours as they all tasted shit
It was just different colours
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:10, Reply)

the green one was more toxic than the others
fucking kiwi fruit.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:13, Reply)

I like kiwi fruit

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:15, Reply)

...and I cannot lie
/ac
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:16, Reply)

you other fruiters can't deny
when a tesco delivery comes by
you get SPOON
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:22, Reply)

I just dont remember them tasting any different

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:18, Reply)

STRIKETHROUGH DRY
JOB.... LOLOLOLOL + BINS + MEME + MEGALULZ
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:54, Reply)

Try getting your client or his broker to read their insurance contract before buying it.
Jus sayin.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:54, Reply)

i did have some fun with one insurer a couple of months ago
insurer: wah wah wah, nasty landlord, our building sucks. give us money.

me: sure. by the way, you know that we insure billions of poundsworth of property with you worldwide? oh, you didn't? well, we'll be cancelling that.

insurer: no, it's fine, forget we said anything.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 9:57, Reply)

nice
is it the little things that make your job worthwhile?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:01, Reply)

A Small Victory is not only a good FNM song
My account manager ZING last night really made me do a metrolol
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:03, Reply)

details

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:04, Reply)

We are going through a programme of upgrading some accountancy software for loads of our customers
She INSISTED on project managing it all and has fucked up twice in two weeks now by booking in upgrades into our calendars without first making sure the sites have OKed it. I tried ringing the customer who had an upgrade booked in for today to be told they didn't want it yet. She also forgot to tell them it costs more consultancy to also migrate them to a new server.

Result is that customer went mental at them for both things, her ringing me on the way home to try and smooth the waters, and me having no work to do for today and tomorrow now!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:07, Reply)

Yeah but is she fit and did you get to sticky finger for penance

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:14, Reply)

She is almost entirely round

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:16, Reply)

hahahaha

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:17, Reply)

do you have to do a lot of onsite work?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:14, Reply)

Of course thats why he gets such a generous car allowance

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:17, Reply)

Not these days
I used to be out all round the country
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:17, Reply)

miss travelling much?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:22, Reply)

Sometimes
I liked going to places I'd not otherwise ever visit. These days with the kids and a Mrs who is a teacher its too difficult to get away anywhere far away
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:24, Reply)

its only through work that I got to see america
what does your mrs teach?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:29, Reply)

IT
Furthest I got was probably Exeter or Glasgow
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:29, Reply)

old work did alot of buisness stateside
but then one magical week while my colleagues were stuck with having to go to las vegas, I was gifted with an on-site in Derby
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:32, Reply)

We have a site in Derby
You get a good curry in Derby
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:33, Reply)

I would'nt know
We had petrol station butties laid on
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:35, Reply)

Wow
They ent no Ginsters
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:36, Reply)

Sex education
With most of the 6th form from what I heard
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:30, Reply)

All, not most

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:33, Reply)

who amongst this cast of internet can truly say that they are not pedantic and petty people?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:13, Reply)

Me

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:17, Reply)

hang on, not you

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:18, Reply)

I ent pedantic or petty
often
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:24, Reply)

Fewer

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:26, Reply)

^pedantic and petty^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:29, Reply)

no me

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:20, Reply)

hang on, actually, me

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:20, Reply)

doctor shambolic

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Thu 25 Sep 2014, 10:21, Reply)