Possibly the last Home Sweet Home thread ever.
As you know, the Large Hadron Collider is scheduled to be switched on tomorrow. There's a miniscule chance that something may go catastrophically wrong and a black hole will be created that sucks the Earth into one supercompressed lump of matter. This of course will mean that the World, along with b3ta and the b3tans will cease to exist. So what better way to spend the last evening ever by partying away in this Home Sweet Home thread like it's 1999.

Length? 27km.


( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 18:31, 265 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So ....
should I do the dusting, or not? I mean, if the world's going to fall into a black hole, it won't matter if the telly's a bit dusty, will it?

*isn't taking this seriously at all*

Evening, btw.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 18:32, Reply)

I just cleaned my flat :-(
Was it all in vain?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 18:39, Reply)

Evening Witchy & Himjim
Given the choice, which would you do? Partying or dusting? If the world survives, you can do both, but if it doesn't, you've only got one choice.

EDIT: @himjim: At least your flat will be clean until the point that tidal forces rip it apart.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 18:40, Reply)

Evening Folks
New guy reporting for duty!
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 18:41, Reply)

I wonder
If anybody has been stupid enough to place a bet on the world ending tomorrow.

Surely there must be a halfwit somewhere that has...
( Captain V, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 18:41, Reply)

Evening SuperWeasel
Your duty is to party like it's 1999! Woo!

EDIT: Evenin' Captain V.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 18:42, Reply)

Alright!
/Parties

Can I interest anyone in a y2k bug tinfoil hat? Or this novelty millenium countdown tie?
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 18:44, Reply)

End of the world, eh?
*lies around apathetically, as usual*
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 18:44, Reply)

Ooooh, look a new
victim friend!

Welcome, weasel. Hello all. Sod the cleaning, let's paaaartaaaay.

*passes round pink champagne and Fondant Fancies*

Edit: V, my friend works in William Hill's - they refused £100 on the end of the world. On the grounds that they cannot accept a bet that they cannot pay out on. The punter didn't understand.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 18:48, Reply)

Well there's no partying for me
I'm no longer going out to the pub as I was cancelled on. My new jeans have arrived though which means I don't need to repair the only half decent pair I had left for the bash tomorrow. (ruined the others at reading festival)

On the other hand I've lost my waistcoat =[

:edit: @ Weewitch That's great. Shame (for the bookies) that they can't capitalise on it though.
( Captain V, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 18:51, Reply)

Reading Festival
murders clothes dead.
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 18:52, Reply)

I
Am currently sitting about and trying to pack stuff. I'm actually making some headway, but still have a whole load of crap left in my room.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 18:53, Reply)

Why bother packing?
The world might end.
Par-tay!
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 18:56, Reply)

Speaking of cleaning
I was hunting through the crap in our loft and found an old stereo system I'd forgotten was up there. There was a tape in the player .... it was, and I kid you not, Rick Astley's album. Well actually, a copy I made of my brother's original.

I have no idea what songs will be on the tape, and I'm not going to play it. The first ( and only) time I got Rickrolled, that tune stayed in my head for daaaays.

The tape is in the wheely bin. Why on earth did I copy that?

Edit: PoD, we had words on that subject already, didn't we? Mmmmm?

*raises eyebrows*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 18:57, Reply)

I suppose you're all right.
PARTAY TIME!

Shame the bash isn't on tonight, as we might not all be around tomorrow. Ha. I'm eating chilli.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 18:58, Reply)

Urgh...
I'm going home, being at work sucks.

Bye.
( Cawl, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 18:59, Reply)

Kaol
I didn't even know you were here.

Bye

*waves*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:00, Reply)

.
Bye K. Enjoy the end of the world.

@Witchy:
Looks like you Rickrolled your future self back in the 80's.

@himjim:
Perhaps we should have had the bash a day earler - not that it matters as I won't be coming to it either way.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:07, Reply)

LHC
Tooooooooooooooooootal bollocks.

I may be a slight, simple and quite frankly, pretty dumb mathbot, but my rudimentary physics and VERY geeky interest in the field tells me that LHC will NOT create black holes and even if it did they'd be so small and so insignificant that they'd evaporate within picoseconds of creation!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:09, Reply)

Well done that Edmund
Top marks for being very correct.

Ok, I think I have now packed one car load of stuff, so I am going to stop, what with only having one car to take it up in tomorrow.

Woo for a free night from now on!
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:13, Reply)

Soooo, Ed,
I should dust the telly, is what you're saying.

Damn. I hate dusting.

*meanders off disconsolately*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:13, Reply)

I'm not listining to Edmund
If there's a chance the world will end tomorrow, then I'm going to grab it with both hands and enjoy the suspense.

It also means an excuse to crack open a bottle of pop and get slowly squiffy.

Huzza!


Oh noes! I shall die a virgin...who wants to come round and save me from dying a sad old virgin?

Good evening btw : )
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:14, Reply)

Gah!
Should have done some research! Looks like we'll continue to exist a while longer.

* looks around sheepishly *

* puts clothes back on *

edit:
Evenin' oh virginal BGB.

On second thoughts, let's just pretend the world is going to end and party anyway! Woo!

* takes clothes off again *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:15, Reply)

Where did everyone go?
I was only joking about the virgin thing....honestly.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:23, Reply)

*throws duster back in the drawer*
sod that for a lark

*strips naked, does the "World's Ending Tomorrow" dance*

*feels the cold, gets dressed again*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:25, Reply)

Cold?
Pah! no such thing :)
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:26, Reply)

Yeah, Edmund,
but I was born in the wrong country. I should have been born within sight of the Med, not the North Sea. Bloody stork was pissed if you ask me .....

That's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:28, Reply)

Hey! Edmund
You have to change your profile. Your not single anymore : )
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:28, Reply)

As the world is ending
I'll watch Dragons Den, order my new glasses*, make the bed and do the washing up.

*May or may not have broken destroyed my last pair in a drunken fit of rage.
( Captain V, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:29, Reply)

Me loves da cold
I also love that I accomplished my to do list by about 11am this morning, other than the packing. It made me many happys.

How are we all tonight anyway? Other than partying due to misrepresented news?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:29, Reply)

Cap'n V
I'm glad I'm not the only one who's life is so full of excitement it's almost unbearable ....

Dragon's Den you say? Oh, I recorded that. Might watch it tomorrow.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:31, Reply)

Weewitch
I've not recorded anything from the telly in ages. iplayer ftw!
( Captain V, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:34, Reply)

.
* jumps up and down hard enough for a certain type of slapping-sound to be heard *

I am now a large hardon collider.

* ducks *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:35, Reply)

@spakkaman
*spangs*
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:39, Reply)

Sorry
but the hysteria over the collider feels entirely too Chicken Little to me. I really don't think we need worry much about it. I have yet to read anything that sounds even remotely convincing. It sounds entirely too much like the people who were worried about the Apollo moon shots messing up the lunar ecology...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:42, Reply)

Trust the Loon to spoil our fun.
I haven't been this excited since the end of the last decade.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:43, Reply)

Time to go folks
my internet keeps crashing, so I must go and be a nice polite customer on the phone

*pffffft*

Okay, be a shouty, ranty one.

Bye, y'all
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:44, Reply)

Bye WW.
You go and tell em!
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:45, Reply)

If the world does end tomorrow
I will give everyone on B3ta £1m!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:46, Reply)

Yay! for GB
Might be rich tomorrow. I shan't be able to sleep tonight.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:48, Reply)

On the way to the shop
I was thinking that if the world did end tomorrow, the human race has cocked it all up a bit hasn't it.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:51, Reply)

Hi
I am at work

*waves*
( Kroney, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:51, Reply)

Bye TWW, Evenin' TGB & Kroney
Re Large Hardon Collider:

* unspangs self *

I was just giving something back to all the boobie-jiggling ladies.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:51, Reply)

*jingles money bags*
If the world does end tomorrow it's all rather pointless whether we messed it up or did the best job.

Of course we'd never find out who would win the F1

*waves back at Kroney*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:52, Reply)

The LHC
sounds like enormous fun to me. After all, the media doesn't do enough to stir the public into an impotent panicky frenzy these days.

Edit: I've just noticed I still have a 6 year old photo of myself in my profile. Perhaps I ought to update it to show the fat, hairy old bastard I've become.
( Kroney, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:53, Reply)

So long as you're still
mellow Kroney, it's alllllll good.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:56, Reply)

Put it this way:
I'm far more frightened of Sarah Palin than I am of LHC. I'd rather take my chances with the machine than with a Fundamentalist one aged heartbeat away from the presidency...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:57, Reply)

Hullo Kroney.
I think I should update my photo also. Might change it for a bash one. It's much more representative of the way I look.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:57, Reply)

@BGB
You mean one that shows how you actually have ears?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:05, Reply)

I'm baaaaack
I didn't even have to shout. The bloke on the phone did something at their end and so far, so good.

*gasp*

That means I got good customer service from V*r*in. Who'd a thunk it? Just in time for the end of the world .....

*ducks*

Oh, yes, and I dusted, so the world had better not end!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:06, Reply)

I did the washing up
so if the world does end I'm going to be mighty annoyed!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:08, Reply)

Well Pod!
If you ever show up for a bash, you could see them in the flesh.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:08, Reply)

Once there is a bash north o' t'border
Then I will turn up. Until then, no dice.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:11, Reply)

I should point out that MistaSpakka is quite right to step back from the abyss of oblivion
They're only running the protons up to speed tomorrow in the contra-rotating rings. They won't start smashing particles together until October 21st or somesuch.

Anyway, when they fail to annihilate the universe using protons (atomic weight 1)they're going to ramp up until the eventual climax smashing nuclei of Lead together (atomic weight 207). At that point, expect aliens from outa space to show up and nuke Switzerland from space. It's the only way to be sure.

Oh, and evening all :-)
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:17, Reply)

Evenin' All!
The world won't end tomorrow! Although The Sun was typically restrained in it's reporting, declaring "THE WORLD ENDS IN NINE DAYS!".

So no, I'm not tidying. The hell with it!

Are we all well?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:24, Reply)

Bonsoir Monsiur Hat.
Ave vous un cuppa.

Anything that makes aliens show up is ok in my book. I've been waiting long enough.

I'm hoping they show their little green faces before I pop my clogs.

Edit - well if the Sun says it's true, it's good enough for me.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:25, Reply)

Nings all
how is everyone today?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:26, Reply)

Hi Becky
How are you?

Let your dad know that were all thinking of him.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:29, Reply)

I'm fucking stuffed
damn parents and their offers of curry...

Tava lamb in case you were interested.

and fish kufti to start

and keema naan

and pilau rice

now I can't really move

evening all. how are we?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:30, Reply)

Hello, DiT, TWH, becky & Vipros
I is not happy.

I have just managed to remove skin from my toe on a sharp piece of plastic. By accident of course. Is much hurty!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:30, Reply)

I really can't make up my mind
whether I want to the world to end or not. I mean, there's lots I want to do, but on t'other hand, can I really be arsed to do it?

And besides, will my neighbourhood look any different if everything does turn to crap? I suspect not...
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:30, Reply)

Evenin' newcomers
We've agreed the world isn't ending tomorrow, but we're partying anyway.

Have been out cycling today and am tired and a bit sunburnt.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:30, Reply)

Evening Becky!
I'm eating an orange. It's reasonably disappointing.

Impressive Vipros.

Impressive.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:31, Reply)

Hallo Ms Girls Blouse. May I call you Big? (oops)
Shame you can't coem to Derby but I understand that Loon is coming UK-side very shortly before, so I unnerstand and no worries.

Becky, hello. 'm Fine. Got my next testing slot booked so looking forwards to late October.

the figure you are looking for is '510'. 510 is lots of ZOMG fun.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:33, Reply)

thanks PoD
can I ask how you are going about eating that orange? I've discovered the way to get the most from your orange, tastewise, and am curious as to how you are doing it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:34, Reply)

@ WeeWitch
I just stood on an upturned plug.
Ow.

Must be an end-of-the-world omen! ooOooOoo
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:36, Reply)

Well since you ask
I am mostly using my hands to prepare it, my teeth to eat it, and an old box with a piece of kitchen paper to collect the waste bits.

I removed the skin, and the main bits of the pith. Then I ate it.

What is your magical method?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:36, Reply)

Weasel
ooo ya bugger

that hurts, that does. Bare feet? Me too. I had a little scroll of skin hanging off my wee toe ... nips like crazy now.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:38, Reply)

WeeWitch
Bare feet indeed; I thought in the comfort and safety of my own home I could get away without wearing shoes.

How wrong I was.
What are we all up to this fine eve?
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:41, Reply)

slicing it with a knife
into wedges

however, you don't just cut into into segments

first slice down slightly off centre, cutting of a slice which is curved on one side and flat on the other and circular

then cut two pieces of either side of the middle and then the remaining part.

the very middle should be discarded.

the pieces can then be eaten without excess pith getting in your mouth and diluting the orangy goodness
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:42, Reply)

Vipros
I cannot read the word "pith" without reading every following word with a lithp, I mean lisp. Read with a lithp, that'th a very funny way to eat an orange!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:44, Reply)

@SW
I'm watching the rest of dragons' den (paused it to eat dinner) before getting on with jobby type things.

Also looking into organising some go karting for me and some mates at Christmas at the moment.
( Captain V, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:44, Reply)

Ooo! upturned plugs.
If I had a penny.... and all that.

I once sat on a needle at my nanna's house. She was a seamstress and had a shag pile carpet running through the house. Not a good mixture for an un-punctured bottom.

This was a long time ago and I can still remember it like it was yesterday.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:46, Reply)

Woo
Dragon's Den!

The Reggae SauceTM Sub was actually surprisingly nice; have you seen that fella's music video?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdjxMMdWucY

It's certainly original.

EDIT: @BGB - Owch. Sounds incredibly painful; I've also sliced my foot open on one of the old school coconut oil bottles, if anyone remembers those? The glass must have been atleast 1cm thick - I got to go to hospital! :D
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:47, Reply)

I love Weasel's little L plate...
it's cute!

Have you crashed into anything yet, Weasel?
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:48, Reply)

Right I'm off
for a long hot bath ... and maybe even a bit of peace!

See you all soon - LHC permitting, of course!

*mwah*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:48, Reply)

@clendrix
Remember my daughter teaching us about the Awkward Turtle? (Turns out there's a fair bit on YouTube about that, btw.) Remember how Justin changed it to the Sad Frog?

My daughter and I were at 3 Monkeys the other day and I had onion straws with my sandwich. (They're like skinny onion rings.) I offered them to her and she was happy to find one that was an entire circle, like a regular onion ring. I told her it was good to not have a disappointing onion ring, and made a crooked circle using my thumbs and forefingers.

So now we have the Awkward Turtle, the Sad Frog and the Disappointing Onion Ring...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:49, Reply)

I like learner B3tans.
They make me smile.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:49, Reply)

SuperWeasel
Is mine. Hands off!

I trained him!
( Cawl, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:50, Reply)

@Kaol
Trained him to do what?
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:51, Reply)

Have I crashed?
Just because I'm 18...I have a full driving license, don't you know? Honestly, I ask you, the youth of today have no respect, i'm telling you. :P

Yeah, I made a couple of mistakes earlier responding to the wrong bits and bobs, but you live and learn, eh?

Edit: @Kaol There's enough of me to go around, surely? Or am I now bound by blood-tie unto the king of the Off-topic?

Edit 2: Also, do you guys not get many newbies around here? The L plate seems to be attracting all the laydeez.
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:51, Reply)

Play with knives probably
:p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:53, Reply)

Thanks BGB
I would do, only he has no phone reception in his room, so I'm getting everything second hand from my mum and the nurse over the phone. I'll go down to see him again at the weekend.x

Ooh a learner :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:54, Reply)

People who are going to the minibash tomorrow
what time are you all getting there? I'll be coming straight from work, so will probably be there around 6:30 and don't really fancy being first.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:57, Reply)

Bugger off, Kaol
you're not having him. He belongs to the Collective.

Loon - excellent! I might just call it the Disappointing Ring for short.
*grins*

I'll be sure to tell Justin...I dread to think what he'll say!
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:57, Reply)

It's an ickle learner.
Only 18 and ready to be lead astray.

I don't mean that in a sexual sense because that would be soooo wrong. *shudders*
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:58, Reply)

@Becky
I'll aim for 6.30pm too, then. I'll text you when I'm on my way...
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:58, Reply)

I'm a grown up!
I swear! I have an overdraft and everything!

/plays with Tonka trucks
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:58, Reply)

Aww he still calls them PMs on his profile :)
*does annoying aunt cheek pinch on SW*
hehe nice sig :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 20:59, Reply)

YOU'VE GOTTA FIGHT
FOR YOUR RIGHT


TO PAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTAAAAAAAY!!!



evening all
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:00, Reply)

Ok folks, MM is here.
Lets get this party started.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:03, Reply)

Cheers C
Nings MM, are you of the intergalactic planetary variety this evening as well?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:04, Reply)

What will it take
to get you folks out there in b3taland to believe I'm a grown up?

serious answers only.
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:04, Reply)

We call them gazzes here Mr Weasel
Or I do anyway, and I don't care what anyone else says.

Yay, I found my old guitar. I love it.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:04, Reply)

Yo MC Marlboro
I just had to drive allll the way across town to get some lucky strikes because since I was smoking them the other day my B&H silver just aren't cutting it.

Guilty party you know who you are.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:05, Reply)

Hello all
bex- I'm up for whatever it takes. I take it your attending the apopalyptic bash tommorowe then love?

Yo badge, blousey, podrick and weasel too.

And weasel, althegeordie has a rule about these things....
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:07, Reply)

Ok Mr Weasel
Answer me this.

What worries you more.

A. How much your pension will be worth when your old.

B. Who will wash your underpants when you've run out of clean ones.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:07, Reply)

No sleep 'till Brooklyn!
@SuperWeasel
Don't worry, you'll automatically outgrow your L plate in a week.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:09, Reply)

hey spaktastic
I think he's more worried about our conception of his real world youth.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:10, Reply)

@BGB
Well...

a) Contrary to popular belief, I can hand wash clothes perfectly fine, AND operate a washing machine/tumble dryer/clothes peg

b) “The most powerful force in the universe is compound interest” according to Mr Albert Einstein, and I don't disagree. Once I start investing it should grow nicely :) My pension should be of a decent size by the time I make it to old age. Not that I plan to: live fast, die young and all that.

But if I had to pick one? Definitely the underpants.
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:12, Reply)

Arsebandits
I've lost my freaking waistcoat ='[

:edit: Surely the best way to prove you're a "grown up" is to genuinely not feel the need to prove to over people that you *are* mature =p

The above of course assumes that you don't generally behave like a moron...
( Captain V, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:12, Reply)

@MM
Now now, you know that al's rule only really applies to female boobs.

@clendrix: careful, don't want him to think it's the Disappointing Ringpiece! I think the word "Onion" needs to be in there...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:13, Reply)

Captain just get a white tshirt
and draw the waistcoat and shirt on in marker pen.

No one will ever know...

SW would you rather have a pound of jelly babies or a pound of toffee?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:14, Reply)

Captain V
You're no longer sophisticated and stylish.
Shame on you.
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:15, Reply)

@GB
Toffee, but I hardly see how that's relevant.

Have I fallen into some kind of 'if your hand is bigger than your face you have cancer' style trap?
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:15, Reply)

Oi oi capn V and TRL
TRL- does it not apply to moobs then?

In my book any photographic evidence of stupid and embarassing events is good.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:15, Reply)

@clendrix I know
I've also lost the nice tie that I used to wear with it. Going to have to keep looking - wanted to wear it to the bash.
( Captain V, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:15, Reply)

It's ok, Weasel has passed the test.
He's of age and we can run amok with him amongst us.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:15, Reply)

Everything is relevant
just to different things

*makes note of answers, faxes through to HQ*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:17, Reply)

Hurrah! Acceptance!
That which I crave!
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:17, Reply)

Good evening, my lovelies
Assuming that there's a wedge of PhD's who've completely cocked up and one enthusiastic amateur but also a PhD (me) who's also cocked it up (trust me this is going somewhere) then this might be the last night of the existence of earth.

Total bollocks.

Anyway.

Hello everyone. How are our evenings?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:17, Reply)

Yo DJ Marley Marl
Thanks for those choons - they're getting my body movin'. As for SuperWeasel, now that he's on b3ta, I think we've sabotaged his youthful innocence.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:18, Reply)

@TGB
If I can't find my waistcoat then I will do that for the b3tabash*

This may or may not be a lie depending on how keen I feel tomorrow
( Captain V, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:19, Reply)

Fuckin ell Captain V
This time tommorow i'll know if you really exist.

Weasel- where do you hark from?

And spak, that just sounds like we've gang bum raped him.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:20, Reply)

Evening Ed
I'm not bad, but don't really feel like I have any drive to do anything just now.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:20, Reply)

Since when did this generation's youth have innocence?
All we have is teenage pregnancy and Jeremy Kyle.

Edit:

@MM: I'm from Slough of 'The Office' and 'Thunderbirds' fame. Woo and Yay.
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:21, Reply)

And so will I!
I hope I do exist. It'll be a bummer if I don't.

:edit: My respect for you has increased by a factor of FAB for mentioning thunderbirds.

*goes to put on thunderbirds dvd*
( Captain V, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:22, Reply)

Just make sure
That Kaol doesn't check you exist HARD!

How are you this fine evening MM? Don't seem to have seen you for a while.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:24, Reply)

OMG!
There is people what really live in Slough and they have humour and wit and an urge to mix with old gimmers like us.

*ashtonishes*
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:24, Reply)

Weasel- I could have just looked at your profile....
*self spang*

I may have missed a lot but why is everyone negating your maturity?

CV- luckily my existence has already been proven by b3tans so I can attend with confidence

PoD- As I've been detaling in other thread I have 4 years worth of PMS so I am an angry little shit right now. And also very busy as I start Uni in less than a month now!
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:24, Reply)

@MM
But that's our initiation ritual we give to all newcomers. It's been 1 year, 10 months and 10 days and I still have trouble sitting down.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:24, Reply)

I am well and truly stuffed
what a meal. Seems like SuperWeasel is a guy that will fit in here well, although I would have chosen the jelly babies.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:25, Reply)

BGB
Underneath the youthful exuberance, wit, charm, eloquence and stroke-inducingly good looks, I'm secretly a grumpy old git like the rest of you.

I was at a restaurant the other day and the Waitress was younger than me. I felt so OLD.

Edit:

@MM: Because I'm 18, therefore inherent immature. But let's be honest, we're all kinda immature here - we all appreciate a quality toilet gag.
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:26, Reply)

BGB
It's not all good in Slough* - that's where Wookiee's from, and he's not very well behaved at all.

*Did I just say that?
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:26, Reply)

clendix
yes you did. And you speaketh truth
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:27, Reply)

My computer speakers have started making
*putt putt putt* noises :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:28, Reply)

Poor BG...
I'm off to make and eat dinner now. See you lovely people in a bit xx
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:30, Reply)

TGB
you might just need a new cable. It's happened to mine.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:30, Reply)

Ah yes MM
I seem to remember you mentioning this the other day.

Are you perchance going to do photography at uni?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:30, Reply)

Wookie is from Slough?
He seems so normal.

did I just say that

Well I've finished my bottle of wine so bed calls shortly.

Tomorrow is gym free..huzza and I'm picking up my nephew from school and having a fish and chip tea. Life is sweet!

That's if were still here of course.


Good night!
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:30, Reply)

Yeah, I'm back
I've had cider.

And dinner with my family.
*checks watch*

These things drag...
( Cawl, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:31, Reply)

They are cheap creative ones
The wires are attached to them! I have just unplugged the one that's broken and moved the other one more central...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:32, Reply)

*Pokes head in*
You all behaving in here? Should I come in and look after you?

EDIT: @all, I can be there whenever tomorrow, but probs about 7!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:33, Reply)

Wookiee seems normal?
Oh, yes, 'seems'. Yes, he does seem that way.



He's not though.
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:34, Reply)

Or you could go write more story for us :p
All those in favour of DiT writing more...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:35, Reply)

See ya MM and G'night BGB and welcome back Kaol
@TGB: Sometimes, it helps if you tweak the volume knob until it stops making the sound (without turning it all the way down). Adjust the Windows volume control to compensate.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:35, Reply)

Was this
Your pork and cider stew thing for dinner Kaol?

I've not had cider in ages.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:36, Reply)

Pork?
Nah, Turkey :D

I only had a tiny bit, I still feel full from the curry I had yesterday night.
I think I need to be sick or something.
( Cawl, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:37, Reply)

Hehe, I'm glad you like it!
Let's hope publishers do too, when it's finished!

*awaiting a big slice o' feedback at the moment*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:37, Reply)

5....4....3...2...1....
Thunderbirds are GO!

Thanks SW for prompting me to put on thunderbirds

I'd forgotten how much more enjoyable life is when I let my true colours show (ie being a geek)
( Captain V, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:38, Reply)

Spakka
I have twiddled all the volume knobs dials and it's still doing it.

I did get them for free though so...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:39, Reply)

@ Captain V
It's quite alright :)

and there you have it folks; a fine example of Slough giving back to the society it has taken so, so much from.
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:41, Reply)

Sorry oh great Kaol
For getting the source of meat wrong, so sorry.

Maybe you should just ram your fingers down your throat a bit and enjoy the party that is sure to follow.

My room is looking slightly empty. It's a bit sad.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:43, Reply)

SuperWeasel!
*does the SuperWeasel dance*

I'm confirmed for tomorrow night, and I'll be drinking.
It's on!
( Cawl, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:44, Reply)

^
Sales of face-rape protectors just went up 1000%... ;)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:45, Reply)

Way to kill the convo DiT :p
*is rocking out to Tool*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:52, Reply)

Oi!
*pokes tongue out* Meanie!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:53, Reply)

*shocked*
I once stuck my tongue out at my friend and she retorted by licking it!

And you know I luv ya DiT ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:55, Reply)

It's funny though
I just bought a face-rape protector.

So to all the detractors: nyah!
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:56, Reply)

She? Licked?
Oh, god! *covers crotch with cushion*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:57, Reply)

Hallo
Evening all
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:58, Reply)

*waggles eyebrows*
Should I not tell you about the time me and one female friend managed to get 8 drinks each from various guys by kissing each other in the pub ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:58, Reply)

Evening all
Well I went to the school where I am going to be doing supply for the next few days and I feel all ready to face my first day as a proper teacher!

And even better not only have a got two more day work at another school, the one I'm at tomorrow has offered me another two days.
Hurrah.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:59, Reply)

TGB
I got really confused when I read that, and thought at first you had stuck your hand out after I read that she had licked it. But no, I was wrong.

I have a friend who licks people. She's weird.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:59, Reply)

Hmmm...
About the bash tomorrow, circumstances may have changed.
If I'm there, you'll see me, if not, you won't.
Bye!
( Cawl, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:59, Reply)

Hey Zap & Mrs L
PoD sounds like she is just friendly :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:01, Reply)

@Kaol
Sweet merciful jesus! If I show up and you're not there the rest of these folks will have at me!

I don't want to be gang bum-raped!

/cower
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:02, Reply)

She is friendly, yes
But she is also truly mental. She currently has bright pink hair.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:02, Reply)

How
are we all doing today?

I had to explain to a 'co-worker' today that Afghanistan is not in Europe.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:02, Reply)

Urrgh...Burp
Maybe I shouldn't have added quite so much Encona Daftly Hot Sauce to the Courier Driver.

*repeats*

Herr Weasel, I used to moor the boat up just round the corner from Sluff, and from your posts so far I can confirm that you are 10,000% more intelligent and coherent than the average resident.

And you're young and purty. Fear Kaol. And really fear the earless one who cannot be named, she will take your youth, vigour and essential juices in one fleeting apocalyptic moment of sublime pleasure and degradation, before turning your skin into slippers.

(I have first dibs on the recyclable bits, mind you)
(osok Rebel without a clue, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:03, Reply)

^osok all of that post
was quite disturbing!

Well done, have a cookie :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:04, Reply)

It isn't?
And here I thought that that was where afghans come from!

(Kidding.)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:05, Reply)

*jumps up and down*
canIhaveacookiecanIcanIcanI?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:06, Reply)

well it's 10pm
I'm still at work and it doesn't look as though I'll be leaving any time soon. I have to be up early tomorrow, too...
( Kroney, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:06, Reply)

Osok
I really don't like the way I'm new here and b3tans are already considering the best way to take advantage of me and harvest me for parts.

If you must know, however, my eyes aren't so great, but my kidneys are nice and springy.

and...earless one? I have lurked here for some time, but I don't catch who you're on about..

/feels scandalised

In other news, thank you all you lovely people for the friendly and warm newbie Tuesday welcome :) I feel like one of the regulars already. (Although this isn't making my post count go up, and it should.../grumble).
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:07, Reply)

@Loon
I also had to sit through a one and a half hour meeting about how the company I work for is like a colonist escaping from the tyrannical dukedoms of England to the virgin pastures of the Americas.

The salient point I took from that is that we need to rape, murder, conquer and enslave our customers... (note I've been reading about the Spanish conquest of the Inca's recently...)
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:07, Reply)

TGB
Why thank you, I'm on a roll, what with the micro-baby gags, a truly appalling pun posted in the QOTW....

And you would never guess what I can do with a Haynes manual, a tub of terminal grease, some feeler guages and a few jubilee clips...

*dribbles again*


(I used to own a '74 Rover P6. Now that was a car)


Megastoat, check some profiles.She wants fresh victims
(osok Rebel without a clue, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:09, Reply)

Does anybody else find it ironic
That the person SW is turning to for "protection" is Kaol?
( Captain V, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:10, Reply)

Evenin' Mr. Z and Mrs. L
@Mrs. L:
Hope the supply-teachering goes well.

@SW:
What condion is your liver in?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:10, Reply)

*gives DiT a cookie*
I don't think I wanna know Osok!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:11, Reply)

Hurray!
*munches*

I'm currently torturing myself, looking at houses and Ford Mustangs.

*adds to list*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:13, Reply)

Well
@ Captain V: Kaol sent me a PM this morning and sort of showed me the ropes around here. I'm willing to accept that a bit of face-rape is the trade off for his protection

@ mistaspakkaman: Fine, no damage whatsoever. While most of my teenage cohorts were out drinking white lightening and WKD in parks, I spent my time being a straight-edge bad motherfunky. And I only just turned 18, so alcohol damage is minimal.

But you can't have it, it's mine and I want it.
/throws toys out of pram
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:13, Reply)

TGB
What, because of the Haynes manual or the Rover?


(and I was once a passenger in a Marina where the wheel bearing fell off on the motorway and three hard as nails skydivers went WHHHHAAAAAAAA! if that helps)
(osok Rebel without a clue, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:13, Reply)

CV
The face rape is the least of your worries...
( Captain V, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:14, Reply)

What kind of Mustang?
*picks up toys and tucks SW back in*

That's because Marinas are fun! wooooooooo
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:14, Reply)

Can I have a cookie please Miss Badger?
Please?

I'm feeling rather down this evening. I have no idea why, and would quite like the feeling to stop.

What on earth do you do as an occupation Kroney?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:15, Reply)

TGB
Tell that to my laundry slave.

And at leat I can balance twin carbs, which half the whippersnappers around here haven't even heard of...
(osok Rebel without a clue, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:16, Reply)

Evening chaps and chapesses
Everyone well?
( wanderlust, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:16, Reply)

I think I prefer Megastoat more
Damn and blast! Ah well, what's in a name, and all that malarkey

How are everyone's end of the world celebrations working out?
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:17, Reply)

Ok cookies for all!
And Osok I can't tune my twin carbs but I can strip a cylinder head and replace all my gaskets. I need to get under the old girl if the weather is nice and realign the exhaust :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:17, Reply)

TGB
Almost all of your last post could be interpreted as unusually perverse euphemisms.

God knows what you do with Waxoyl....
(osok Rebel without a clue, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:20, Reply)

haha
Well that would be telling ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:21, Reply)

'Lo all
I'm a bit late, and will be off to bed soon, for tomorrow I journey to London village to drink ale with a bunch of oddballs off the internet.

And attend a meeting - bloody work always gets in the way
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:22, Reply)

Yay!
DG! See you tomorrow!
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:23, Reply)

2008 Ford Mustang Bullitt
Because that's about as close as I'm ever going to get to a '67 Fastback. :(

EDIT: Not that I'm that close to a 2008 Bullitt either!

See ya tomorrow, DG!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:24, Reply)

You could get a run down one and do it up?
Or go to the NEC classic car show and steal one *evil laughter*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:25, Reply)

@DG
I take offense at the suggestion that I drink ale. *swigs from pint o' cider*
( Captain V, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:27, Reply)

Why
Isn't anyone offering hugs to a depressed penguin? Why I ask? WHY?

I would love a '67 Shelby GT500. But I'm pretty sure that's never, ever going to happen. A boy can dream though...
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:28, Reply)

Hahaha
I like the idea, TGB, but if I tried to do up a car BAD THINGS would happen. I'd have to start smaller than a fastback, I think.

And I am quite partial to those new Mustangs, if only they did more than 5cm to the gallon...
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:29, Reply)

*hugs for PoD*
Anyone else for hugs or cookies?

Ahh Eleanor... how we all dream of you

DiT I can offer you a Marina to get started on ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:29, Reply)

*rushes to hug PoD*
*trips over cat*
*hurts self*
*hugs PoD anyway*
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:29, Reply)

@Penguin
/hug

What's wrong, my fellow anthropomorphic buddy?
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:30, Reply)

* hugs Penguin *
coz I like hugging people.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:31, Reply)

Depressingly
Having left (ahem) the evil motor trade and handed back my winky extender, I now drive



(wait for it)



A Toyota Avensis.


Doomed, I tell you, doomed.

Night all.

Keep your bushes greased TGB...
(osok Rebel without a clue, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:31, Reply)

I have no idea why I feel like this
Which is rather annoying. Me no want to feel depressed, especially when I have to drive stuff up to Glasgow tomorrow and unpack and all that malarkey.

*thanks all for hugs*
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:32, Reply)

Don't overwork your piston rod Osok
Hugs are awesome.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:33, Reply)

*hugs PoD*
*doesn't let go*
( Cawl, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:33, Reply)

Thanks very much!
*mechanics*

Oh, s'gonna cost ya luv. Yeah, gotta get the parts from Ger-mny, dunni, and that could take four five weeks. And then labour.

:)

EDIT: Manly hug for PoD! We all feel blue sometimes buddy. You'll be ok.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:35, Reply)

Which is why my housemate
gets me to fix his car. Damn you useful skill!*shakes fist at air*

Kaol we have cookies going if you want one? Unless DiT has eaten them all...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:36, Reply)

Kaol
Put PoD down - play nicely!

Are you coming into town tomorrow or not? I need to know whether I can get excited and happy or not...
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:38, Reply)

@TGB
***hugs all round***
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:38, Reply)

Nah thanks
I'm still full of curry or something.
( Cawl, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:38, Reply)

Captain V
I meant I would be drinking ale.. far be it from me to keep you from your cider :-)
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:41, Reply)

I has a Kaol to look after me
Yays! I thought you wandered off?

And don't mock Glasgow, whoeveritwas. I like it there.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:41, Reply)

evening all!
Got back in from a day of museums, crowds, and extortionate cinema prices. £13.45 a ticket?!!

Settling in to Dave channel and Strongbow now, simple pleasures!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:42, Reply)

Oh man
everyone has strongbow except me :(

What film did you see Lab?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:43, Reply)

*stretches*
Nighty night all! I'm off to do some reading and some planning for the next chapter's write up!

Sleep well and sweet dreams!

DiT!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:45, Reply)

I don't have strongbow
I do have gin instead.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:45, Reply)

@DG
I realised after you posted that you meant you'd be drinking ale in the company of b3tans rather than in the company of b3tans drinking ale.

/coat
( Captain V, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:45, Reply)

*passes TGB a can of 'bow
I saw Hellboy 2, which was enjoyable enough.

Anyone been up to anything fun?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:46, Reply)

@TGB
I don't have any alcomohol at all. Might pour myself a drink before bed though. Making a quick trip into town.

Back in 10
( Captain V, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:46, Reply)

hellboy2?
Saw it a couple of weekends ago. Second only in the "biggest load of pish I've seen recently" stakes to Babylon AD.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:47, Reply)

*looks at bow*
*looks at lab*

*hugs*

I love you

*drinks*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:48, Reply)

Don't mention Hellboy 2
to Kaol. He's likely to lynch you...

Grumbles at still not having seen the Dark Knight...

Right, enough from me; I've done my bit for the night grossing PJM out on Wanderlust's thread.

night all. See some of you fine folks tomorrow...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:49, Reply)

All you cider drinkers out there?
Anybody partial to a bit of Savannah Dry? Has anyone here tried it?
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:50, Reply)

bless!
A love bought with Strongbow is a true love indeed!

*hugs back*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:52, Reply)

Cider
Can't drink cider or be any where near cider.

Ex-wife from Somerset.

Love her. Still.

Hate cider. That's new.

:(
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:52, Reply)

Hi SW
yes, I've tried Savanna Dry, it's rather pleasant!

For me, nothing is quite like a nice pint of Westons Old Rosie!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:54, Reply)

I like a good bit of cider
Magners FTW.

Low standards, me.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:55, Reply)

LM
Hi! Yeah, It's the only cider I can bear to drink at the moment. Strongbow is always ruined for me by that metallic end-of-can taste, and I'm not quite pikey enough to buy it in the huge bottle just yet.
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 22:56, Reply)

HELLBOY 2?
Hellboy-fucking-two?

Re-Post-

Tonight I went to the cinema with a couple of my friends.
All good and well, you might think. You'd be very wrong.

In the car on the way back, I had the window open, and we went through a puddle, splashing filthy, stinking road-water into my mouth.
The problem is that this was far from the worst thing that happened to me tonight.
That's right, I saw Hellboy II at the cinema.

Whilst this heap of shite is slightly preferable to being forcibly violated in the mouth by a dog, it's still worse than getting dirty mud-water in your mouth.

In short, I give this film 2/10.

My spoiler free-ish rant follows:

Point 1: Guillermo del Toro, I understand that Pan's Labyrinth was a big film for you. You don't need to shoe-horn all of the reject monster-ideas from it into another, unrelated film.

Point 2: Giving away how to kill the main bad-guy in the first ten minutes of the the film is fuckin' stupid. What's more stupid is that none of the characters realised this. Fuckin' 'tards.

Point 3: Young Hellboy... Seriously, kill it with hammers.

Point 4: Elves? Goblins? Trolls? Come on... Just because Lord Of The Rings did well, doesn't mean you need to include them in this.

Point 5: Dialogue... Just because George Lucas has made a lot of money, doesn't mean that he's good at writing dialogue. So don't copy him. Ever.

So, 2/10. One point for half-decent CG. One point for Hellboy being cool-ish.

Minus two points for the singing. Yes, seriously. Singing.

So, if I was offered a chance to see this film again, I'd cram as much cooked fish as I could into my mouth.
The fact that I'm powerfully allergic to it would mean that I'd spend the next hour and a half puking myself inside-out, instead of watching this pile of monkey-wank again.
( Cawl, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:00, Reply)

I like Kopparrberg too
And Asphall *yum yum*

And it is indeed Lab ;)

Take it you didn't like it then Kaol :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:00, Reply)

SW
Well, cider's become quite popular recently, so check out the ciders on offer at Tesco etc. Westons do some lively ciders, depends if you like lighter drinks (magners etc) or more substantial/stronger drinks.

I love all cider, except Blackthorn, Woodpecker, and the cheap shit!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:00, Reply)

@Kaol
Agreed. It sucked ass.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:03, Reply)

Cider eh...?
It's all about "K" cider. The price of Blackthorn, the alcohol content of cheap wine.
( Cawl, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:04, Reply)

LM
Outstanding. I prefer the dryer ones - but not too dry; I don't want a nautical aftertaste, just enough to keep me on my toes. Any suggestions from a cider fan?
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:05, Reply)

Kaol
Sorry to stir up bad memories!

I agree about the Pan's Labyrinth greeblies, and the elves/goblins was far from what I liked about the first film. I'm quite easy going with flms, and I did enjoy the fight scenes, but it was far from perfect.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:07, Reply)

SW
Hogan's Dry is very nice indeed, if you can find it :)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:10, Reply)

LM
Outstanding.

I'm more of a Vodka man these days, though
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:11, Reply)

I have some crazy
Scottish Cream Vodka. Great for White Russians :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:13, Reply)

Madness
I'm also digging Rum more these days. It's fun for the fruitier (and less manly) cocktails etc
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:15, Reply)

As for spirits
I'm definitely a g&t guy, but am rather partial to white russians and tequila!

But not together.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:19, Reply)

Bah
I missed the talk of cider =[

Does anybody get the fascination with filling the glass with ice first? I expect my cider to be cold when it comes out of the tap/bottle. Ice just makes it harder to drink =/
( Captain V, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:21, Reply)

Ice in cider?
Pointless.

I don't like ice in drinks.
I don't like watery cider.
I'm also not a massive fan of stupid adverts.

So "Ice in cider"? No.
( Cawl, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:23, Reply)

Kaol,
do you like ice or not? It's not really clear...
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:24, Reply)

ice
Ice is only welcome in Magners, because it's a light refreshing drink.

Oh, and Westons do a cider that's like a slush puppy! The day I found that, was one if the happiest in my life! Sadly the bar in Stratford that dsold it has shut now :(
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:25, Reply)

Christ
I go off to do real life stuff for a bit and you lot have entire conversations and fuck off to bed. Damn you all, I bet there's no one left now.

I'm off to bed now anyway x
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:25, Reply)

*frowns*
Fuck you and fuck your ice :p
( Cawl, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:25, Reply)

Oh I say!
How terribly rude.

*goes off to bed with Becky*
( thealternativefact, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:27, Reply)

Lab was that
the iced strongbow stuff? That stuff was awesome but it seems to have disappeared now :( *sadness*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:28, Reply)

Ah slush puppy cider
A bar here does that with Bulmers. Was quite keen to try it but they weren't serving it when I was there last.

I disagree with ice being in Magners. Magners shouldn't be consumed by humans therefore it should never leave the bottle ergo NO FUCKING ICE!

*throws ice at kaol*
( Captain V, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:29, Reply)

TGB
This was definitely a Westons cider with crushed ice. I must find more!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:31, Reply)

Yeah, fuck ice.
That's what I say.

*grabs hammer*
( Cawl, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:31, Reply)

Oh sorry
I read it as the pub was called Westons *is stupid at times*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:34, Reply)

Off for the night
Catch you later folks

Thanks for being so friendly :)
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:38, Reply)

Nightles
I'm hungry and can't decide what to eat. Sausage rolls, hula hoops or perhaps something else.
( Captain V, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:40, Reply)

G'night!
And it's goodnight from me as well! Take care all :)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:45, Reply)

Captain V
What's the mystery option?
( Cawl, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:46, Reply)

Mystery option
Is whatever I happen to stumble across in the kitchen. Going to go get some food then I think I'll have another root around for my waistcoat. Maybe it's in a box in the loft...
( Captain V, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:47, Reply)

WTF is this waistcoat you
Keep on about?
Is it a leather one?
( Cawl, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:48, Reply)

Right I am off as well :)
Night all *hugs*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:50, Reply)

If this whole black hole mess kicks off.
How long will it be before somebody with facial acne blames JMG?

THIS is the REAL WORRY, here.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:50, Reply)

It's not leather
Just an ordinary waistcoat that I love (so much that I've lost it -_-)

Didn't realise quite how much I'd been going on about it.

I'll stop being a broken record now.
( Captain V, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:54, Reply)

.
I go away for a bit and find you're all having an ice-fight without me.

* gets out bucket of ice-cubes *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:55, Reply)

I thought the real question
Was how long it will be until every single QOTWer has JMG on ignore?

At least that's what I've been hearing on the grapevine.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:57, Reply)

I'm assuming this grapevine was structually supported beyond common logic would recommend?
Let's be honest, here.

The only thing more predictable than a b3tan being fat is a b3tan deciding to fall out with JMG out loud for everybody to see.
For attention. Online.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 23:59, Reply)

Your subject line makes no sense to me
And I do not particularly care for attention. I'm quite happy for no-one to pay any attention to me.

I just don't suffer fools gladly. Or at all for that matter.

edits - I'll give you the subject line bit, my brain thought there needed to be an extra word for it to make sense. Stupid not having slept enough.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 0:01, Reply)

Everyone quick!
IGNORE JMG! The world is ending tomorrow, if brainwrongs are to be believed.

This may be your last chance to wobble!
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 0:03, Reply)

Night PoD
Good luck with the drive tomorrow.
( Cawl, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 0:10, Reply)

Stupid LHC thing
I think I might hunt down and cause harm to every journalist who has done false reporting on this stupid thing.

And also JMG, people are unlikely to argue with you offline, what with JMG most likely not being your real name, and you probably not having friends offline.

Ooo, insulting people was fun. Maybe I should head over to /talk.

edit - Cheers Kaol. Hopefully it'll stop raining for some of the driving.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 0:10, Reply)

If I have offline friends, or my real name IS "JMG"..
...Will you stomp your cyber feet, cry and tell more people to put me on ignore?



Feel free to reply, but I recommend upping the banter a bit.
I'm very popular.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 10 Sep 2008, 0:19, Reply)

It is quite unlikely that I will do any of those things
And I would like it to be noted that I never actually told anyone to put you on ignore.

And you would appear to have scared everyone else away, and I need to sleep so as not to crash at high speed tomorrow, so banter can wait.

Oo, can I go on your list? Can I? Can I? I need internet-based validation from someone I've never met....

Oh wait, I don't.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 0:22, Reply)

That's true. You seem to have your own opinions and everything.
So, who talks about all of QOTW putting me on ignore? Do they tell you to put me on ignore, too? Well done on standing up to this person. On the internet.
I'm rarely here. I can't handle ALL of you at once. I'm very popular.

This bullying of JMG because he's b3ta's hero is very unfair.
It's probably down to my popularity.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 10 Sep 2008, 0:25, Reply)

It's true, I do
And I can even spell 'own' correctly.

I am very proud of being able to have my own opinions. And it makes me feel even better that you, the great JMG have validated me about it.

I very much doubt that any bullying is down to your delusions of grandeur. There are probably many reasons, but I doubt that is one of them.

You are pretty popular.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 0:28, Reply)

I don't know who you are. :(
I can't spell, you can't read.



I'm sure there's a script that you SERIOUS people conform to.
Or a flow chat that eventually leads to me, JMG, having thoughts of grandeur.

We're usually about ten minutes away from one of you claiming everybody has me on block.


This isn't very fair that they have lumbered me, JMG, b3ta's hero with somebody I don't know on b3ta. Is there anybody more popular I could speak with?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 10 Sep 2008, 0:33, Reply)