Hello my offtopicese (breth/sis)tren
What's the weirdest place you've had sex?

ALT:Where's the best pub crawl you've ever done/heard of ?

ALTALT:Is that not enough? I dunno, pick a spirit animal or something
( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:00, 116 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Most interesting: the room where the experiments that determined the structure of DNA were performed.

Alt: Wimbledon 8
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:03, Reply)

Did you leave some DNA for future experiments?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:04, Reply)

They'd have to scrape it off the ceiling

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:07, Reply)

Impressive.



Unless you were on top of a *really* fat bird.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:09, Reply)

Still wouldn't work
unless his pee pee comes out his bumhole.
( Kroney, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:10, Reply)

Oh yeah.
Sorry, doing sex isn't one of my areas of expertise.


Ask me about Star Trek or compulsive eating though, and I'm all over that bitch.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:12, Reply)

I had to turn the light off, because the bulb was burning by arse.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:11, Reply)

Should have moved to the bottom bunk

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:13, Reply)

experiments

investigations
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:07, Reply)

Hello.
I'm sorry, this is the only part of your thread I feel comfortable in responding to. Please don't take this as my fault, as I believe he blame lands squarely upon your shoulders.
( Kroney, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:03, Reply)

I've failed you
If you take the wailing and gnashing of teeth as read I've got some serious naval gazing to do.


Yep, all done! No need to thank me now
( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:07, Reply)

I shan't, but I do respect your taking it on the chin.

( Kroney, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:08, Reply)

we've all had spunk on our chin

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:36, Reply)

I have never knowingly had sex.
Alt: don't think I've ever done a proper pub crawl. I'd rather just find a nice pub, sit down, and enjoy the evening. Pub crawls involve too much moving for my liking.

AltAlt: sloth.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:04, Reply)

that's private soz

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:04, Reply)

I think we can all guess at least one place.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:05, Reply)

Hereford

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:08, Reply)

Ooh, I know this one...
it's "in the bum", isn't it?

Alt: The Otley Run in Leeds. I've stood and watched the current crops of lightweights throwing up into bins outside the Hyde Park - barely halfway through the (now shortened) run into town.
(Twangy Rubber, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:05, Reply)

Not really considered that weird these days. Sadly.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:09, Reply)

I've done that pub crawl

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:20, Reply)

Hi Missy
Erm possibly on a beach at night?
alt. Im far too old for that now. Bigg Market was a laugh in my late teens
altalt. Patsy Stone.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:06, Reply)

The Bigg Market has always been shit
Hope this helps
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:14, Reply)

in my late teens

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:31, Reply)

In the back of a Ford transit.
Alt: pub crawls are poo.
Altalt: giraffe.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:10, Reply)

my mate lost his virginity in the centre of a football field while we all cheered from the stand

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:12, Reply)

Did they toss first to see who would go uphill?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:13, Reply)

Surely they just swap ends at halfway?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:15, Reply)

If they tossed first they wouldn't need to now, would they?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:15, Reply)

whahey!

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:41, Reply)

ah, now it makes sense.
This one event created within him a craving for public acceptance of his sexual prowess, directly leading (a few years later) to the world's most awkward dinner party.

Don't try the chocolate mousse.
( Kroney, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:13, Reply)

he was a grandad by thirty

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:42, Reply)

My chav cousin was a grandmother at 34.
To be fair, I got grandkids at 25, but they came with the old feller.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:49, Reply)

thirty four is practically respectable and legal

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:52, Reply)

you've got some fucking weird mates
not that this is a surprise; rather the surprise is that you have any at all. but still.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:17, Reply)

A quarry, Leeds festival tent, train, trees in middle of a roundabout
Alt:
They all seem a bit waqqqi

Alt:
COW innit
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:13, Reply)

in front of BBC Breakfast, on my own

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:18, Reply)

Again

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:19, Reply)

naturally

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:32, Reply)

There's nothing natural about it, J.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:33, Reply)

I duuno, one off the wrist with Sian Williams as inspiration is perfectly natural.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:56, Reply)

It is in Scunthorpe.
EDIT: this was meant as a reply to another post, but I think it fits.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:56, Reply)

officelol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:00, Reply)

S****horpe

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:09, Reply)

On top of this rock
In a store cupboard at work, in a tree, on a smelly canarian roof terrace drain.

alt: The park street shuffle in waheymuff is pretty decent. (best to have a knnife on you though, just in case)

altalt. Probably an eagle or some shit like that
( Glovington, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:19, Reply)

canarian Cranarian
( Kroney, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:20, Reply)

I feel left out.
Back of an Acadian Lines bus, airport lavatory and a girl's little brother's bedroom (not proud of that one, the location, I mean. The girl was hot).

alt: organised pub crawls seem absolutely ghastly.

altalt: badger.
( Kroney, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:27, Reply)

Sounds a bit noncy on a skim read.
Altalt: wiv da angels now.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:35, Reply)

I dunno if it's that weird for teenage sex to take place in outdoor locations, such as fields, car parks, the backs of cars, or indoor locations such as other people's bedrooms/other rooms.
Reading the answers here, it seems perfectly normal.

Alt: The Craven Street run was always fun when I was a young man, now all that walking in between pubs seems a waste of good drinking time.

Altalt: No, that is enough.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:33, Reply)

In one of the really old Cambridge colleges. Then I done passed out and woke up later and my dress shirt was in the toilet and I'd pissed on it. lol.
pretty much most places. it happens a lot when I am alone.

alt: pub crawls are shit and for cunts. hth.

altalt: smelly jew.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:44, Reply)

I thought you were excellent in Peaky Blinders.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:49, Reply)

apology accepted.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 13:50, Reply)

lol classic bestiality

( Kroney, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:04, Reply)

I was about to tell you a long list of places then I realised it's private. SOZ!
Alt. I hate pub crawls. I'd rather have several drinks somewhere nice than trawl through all the shit places
AltAlt Pokémon
( Peej, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:08, Reply)

"in your head as you tug your withered piece of meat in the shower before work" is not a weird place to have sex

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:13, Reply)

Ok the most weird place I had sex was when I got noshed off by a fat, ginger, northern lass by some bins behind a pizza place

( Peej, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:18, Reply)

it was a pie pub
not a pizza place
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:19, Reply)

+ a disappointingly soggy thin 7"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:37, Reply)

you're asking a load of shut-ins and marrieds where they had sex? ha.
alt: hazel grove run, baby. 16 seedy run down pubs in 4 hours.

i just schlepped all the way up to waitrose to buy an enormous number of cakes and chocolates and biscuits for the office for last week's birthday. got back to find we've rolled out some new dumbass marketing initiative and there are dumbass cupcakes in matching colours at the teapoints "to celebrate". gah. anyone want to come round for a million cakes??

i also bought some seriously tasty crunchy ryvita thins and houmous for lunch. poor shambles, you know not what you miss.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:11, Reply)

So more cake then?
and this is a problem, how?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:11, Reply)

well, true
i checked and nothing i bought goes off tomorrow, so i can just keep everything until then.

but i wouldn't have bothered wasting the time going to get them if i'd known.

plus i don't reeeeeally like cupcakes very much. there's so much icing.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:12, Reply)

A cupcake should be 95% icing

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:18, Reply)

... if you're a shitcunt flabbynecked yank who can't bake a decent sponge

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:20, Reply)

this is the problem
and when you plough through the icing, there's only cake underneath.

and i'm not really a fan of cake either.

gimme biscuits or chocolate any day.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:20, Reply)

One of us, one of us! gooble gobble gooble gobble we accept her, we accept her one of us one of us

( Peej, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:17, Reply)

ahhhhh
a sisterdad of my very own.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:18, Reply)

shit :(
I had pie and mash and a pair of beers ... I deffo wish I'd had some grim diet biscuits and shop-bought dip in an office instead
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:18, Reply)

i don't know why you think they're diet biscuits
the nutritional information does not back this up.

i'd stuff my face and booze on a monday if i lived on an industrial estate too.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:19, Reply)

this isn't ever going to work for you, pet
lived on an industrial estate too. didn't have to spend twelve hours in an office and then traipse home on farty public transport
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:21, Reply)

uh huh
*alkie wrist*
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:23, Reply)

^ upset

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:24, Reply)

yes
my saunter home through hyde park this evening will be terrible.

now, no drink-driving that mondeo home to your square foot of crushed brown grass.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:28, Reply)