you know when you're doing "business" and being "professional"
and you have an out-of-body moment and think "who's this prick being all businessman? why don't we go up the Rec and dick about?" and then you realise you've zoned out and somebody asks a question and all you can think about is when Minty Kendall got her knockers out behind the Methodist Hall?

Me neither.

Who wants to go up the Rec and dick about?
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 17:55, 60 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

Good to remember: Enjoying chocolate as part of a varied, balanced diet and a healthy lifestyle, is one of life's little pleasures.
Nestle Walnut Whips x6 196g

Description
A pack of 6 delicious creamy chocolate whirls, encasing a smooth fondant cream centre, topped with a walnut piece
No artificial colours, flavours or preservatives

Dietary Information
Suitable for Vegetarians
May Contain Gluten
May Contain Wheat
Contains Eggs
Contains Milk
May Contain Nuts
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 17:58, Reply)

And they look like little sloppy turdpiles.

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:03, Reply)

Or you could have three pints of premium lager for around the same calories.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:04, Reply)

or you could have both and pretend you're eating poopoo and weewee

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:06, Reply)

when rene artois did scat porn

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:10, Reply)

Or you can change that 'or' to an 'and' and have your fill of both

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 19:34, Reply)

hastag- gluttony

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 19:35, Reply)

hashtag HeatAttackBy40

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 19:35, Reply)

Not really hit midlife crisis yet myself.
So I've gone back to firefox because chrome is a RAM greedy little bitch. I'm pretty happy with the change so far.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:03, Reply)

it's like you're actually making a conscious effort to be dull

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:04, Reply)

You should see my chat up lines.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:04, Reply)

we've all heard far too many details about your romantic techniques

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:06, Reply)

I hope they contain comedic, knowing references to date rape drugs and murder

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:08, Reply)

I asked a girl on tinder if she liked asparagus last night.
And now we wait...
(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:09, Reply)

it only takes a few hours for the smelly wee to start
what are you still waiting for?
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:12, Reply)

A reply from her obviously.
She's probably trying to play hard to get.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:17, Reply)

www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/huge-douchers?s=mobile
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:24, Reply)

So if anyone acts creepy to me I should respond with some dank memes?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:51, Reply)

alright Dapper Laughs

( $$ ✅, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:09, Reply)

I had to sit through 20 minutes of his vines the other day because my friend said he was "actually really funny"
He was not.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:10, Reply)

yeah, he's pretty shit

( $$ ✅, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:13, Reply)

I wished him dead within the first two seconds of the only 'On The Pull' I saw
when his opening line to camera was 'Alright?'

IT'S A FUCKING CAMERA YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT
YOU CAN'T ASK THE VIEWERS QUESTIONS THROUGH IT
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:14, Reply)

Now you see by provoking a reaction in me Dapper has demonstrated that he's clearly far more clever and has 'won'

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:16, Reply)

yeah alright then

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:08, Reply)

YES!!

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:12, Reply)

I'll bring a football

( $$ ✅, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:09, Reply)

don't really like football
can you nick some booze and aerosols from your mum instead?
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:22, Reply)

I can attain zen-like levels of disconnectedness these days.
Going home now.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:15, Reply)

ok.
Check the weather forecast before you set out and if the weather deteriorates, turn back. Conditions in the rec can change quickly with fierce winds, low clouds and freezing temperatures making visibility and walking impossible. Visit the Met Office website for a detailed weather forecast before you set out.

Tell someone reliable about your plans, which route you’re taking and what time you expect to return-so they can raise the alarm if you don’t make it back by your given time. Remember to let them know if your plans change at all.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:19, Reply)

I don't remember this Charlie Says

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:21, Reply)

that's because you've got alzheimers, you terrible old cunt

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:22, Reply)

Is that you, Edith? Have I had my medicine, Edith?

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:23, Reply)

Watch us rec the mike

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:25, Reply)

Spike?

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:27, Reply)

He says 'spikes', give him spikes

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:34, Reply)

alright
^ Dapper Laughs
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:19, Reply)

Minty Kendall?
If that is a nickname for someone who eats a lot of Kendall Mint Cakes then I despair.

(No THIS pear)
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:51, Reply)

it was the nickname of somebody called Kendall

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:58, Reply)

cos of the smell of the gum she used to chew to cover up the smell of stale cock on her breath

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 19:15, Reply)

cos her name was Kendall
this isn't difficult
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 19:19, Reply)

Are you in Dynasty?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 19:15, Reply)

Yes. The MONG dynasty.

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 19:19, Reply)

potty not pottery in his case

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 19:22, Reply)

I've got 10 number 6 - bring some matches 'cos the guy in the sweetshop won't sell me any

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:55, Reply)

we once bought a load of swan vestas and tried to light a fire on the ici explosive works
but the newsagent phoned my mate's Dad and we got one hell of a bollocking
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 19:00, Reply)

I'm not going anywhere with a bunch of queers from the internet. GET_THAT_THROUGH_YOUR_THICK_FUCKING_HEAD

(Mr Udagawa, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 18:58, Reply)

you're'

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 19:29, Reply)

FEWER

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 19:30, Reply)

LESS of that

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 20:38, Reply)

I got a new crush, whoever Shurlock's new protogey is on start season 3 of Elementary

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 19:34, Reply)

I had forgotten about that show, I will go legally obtain it now.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 19:38, Reply)

And her name is Ophelia Lovibond, which even coming from me is a stupid name.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 19:43, Reply)

I'd like to o'feel'er love-bond

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 19:54, Reply)

Evening.
Any gurlz going?
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 19:43, Reply)

ewwww ... girls are gay

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 19:48, Reply)

them skanks make your fingers stink and then your mum gets all upset and shit.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 20:34, Reply)

YES

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 20:38, Reply)

\0/

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 20:48, Reply)

Deejays jammin in the street, MC's rappin to the beat
The people downstairs sayin they can't sleep
Cause the people upstairs are stompin their feet
It's not like they're startin a riot
"We'll call the cops, cause we want some quiet!"
There's no need for them to get excited
They're just mad because they're not invited
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 20:54, Reply)

*taps foot*

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 7 Jan 2015, 20:56, Reply)