If you'd just met somebody and weren't sure if they were suitable material what song would you break into to test them?
Alt: wine in pubs is for (a) pricks, (b) total pricks?
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:25, 83 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Err, none

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:28, Reply)

Not even the theme from Champion The Wonderhorse?

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:29, Reply)

Not even that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:31, Reply)

Like a streak of flashing lightening across the sky
like he swiftest arrow shooting from a bow
like a mighty cannonball he seems to fly
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:55, Reply)

YOU'LL HEAR ABOUT HIM EVERYWHERE YOU GO
/ac
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:57, Reply)

The time will come when everyone will know the name of

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:59, Reply)

CHAMPION THE WON-DERRR HORSE!
We can now officially be friends. I'll have a pint of mild and some pork scratchings.
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 16:15, Reply)

Something with jumbo cords!!!!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:29, Reply)

Like Bb7?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:30, Reply)

Sorry, I don't watch reality tv.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:34, Reply)

I expected nothing else from you than that response

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:42, Reply)

Some Leonard Cohen.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:34, Reply)

Red Dwarf theme tune, its fan smegging tastic
Malbec please
( Peej, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:37, Reply)

un-smegging-believable.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:41, Reply)

Blankety Blank themed grape variety
See also Woganon Blanc.
( Kroney, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:41, Reply)

Never mind, that was Les Dawson.
Fuck off.
( Kroney, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:45, Reply)

How did you escape the French PoPo
Last I heard you were holed up with hostages
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:51, Reply)

I charged them. They ran away.

( Kroney, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:53, Reply)

Good thinking

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:55, Reply)

In a souped up, lowered Renault Clio obvs!

( Peej, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:54, Reply)

With the Kronester
It would be a mid 80's Renault 5 turbo
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:56, Reply)

Not according to the news reports

( Peej, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:57, Reply)

Ah fair enough

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:58, Reply)

( Peej, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:58, Reply)

I once ended up on top of a country hedge in one of those.
The filth laughed at us for about an hour.
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:58, Reply)

Hang about, look out..............

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:37, Reply)

What?
Suitable for what?
Are you singing to them?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:47, Reply)

It's an internet question. God. Can't you bumlords take anything seriously?

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:54, Reply)

Most reality tv.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:59, Reply)

ha!

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 16:12, Reply)

'alright' by Cast
Only beer and spirits should be imbibed in pubs.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:52, Reply)

I fucking hate getting stuck in a q behind someone ordering COFFEE.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:54, Reply)

the landlord at my regular sends people (almost always stoodents) who ask for coffee round to the back bar
where nobody is serving
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:55, Reply)

Back bars where no-one is serving are great for pouring yourself stolen pints

( Peej, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:57, Reply)

Most of the time they're connected to fuck all.
Unless the landlord happens to be retarded.
( Muns, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 16:28, Reply)

what sort of utter wankoid buffoon orders coffee in a pub?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:56, Reply)

eggs-fucking-zackerly

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 16:17, Reply)

Anything by Abba
If they joined in I would walk.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:52, Reply)

Some Abba is fucking amazing.
It's just been pissed on by camp tribute acts and that shit fatbird film.
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:56, Reply)

I refuse to believe that any of it is any good
plus anyone that likes it is a blobbing tart ergo "runaway"
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:57, Reply)

seriously ... ignore the glitzy Australian disco bollocks and go back to the source

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 16:14, Reply)

Someone went into one of my old locals and asked to see the wine list.
They advised him that they only do Blossom Hill (They had a bottle of each held back just in case, they never really attracted the wine drinkers.)

He asked if he could sample it. They told him to fuck off.
( Muns, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:57, Reply)

Sounds horrendous.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 16:00, Reply)

The place was absolutely fantastic..
The same couple have run the place for almost twenty-five years. Never sold Alcopops, never really sold wine and the only food they sold came in small packets. Live bands twice a week, all of whom were people recommended by trusted regulars, so they were always worth listening to. No TV, no fruit machines, one pool table in the corner and just a good place to be.
( Muns, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 16:09, Reply)

I'm not sure I'd trust anyone who spends all their available time in a pub if I'm being honest.

(Mr Udagawa, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 16:11, Reply)

poofter

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 16:16, Reply)

Soz pub regulars stink of farts, divorce and perennial big plans

(Mr Udagawa, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 16:21, Reply)

^fart sniffer

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 16:30, Reply)

Here's a chap with all three bases safely covered

(Mr Udagawa, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 16:38, Reply)

at a stroke

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 16:39, Reply)

16:00 Home time, see you next week!

( Peej, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 15:59, Reply)

PART TIMER

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 16:01, Reply)

fuck this y'all
I'm off up the Rec to sniff glue and listen to my ghetto blaster
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 16:22, Reply)

racist

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 16:23, Reply)

only if he called it a wog box.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 16:30, Reply)

RIIIIIIDE ON TIME

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 16:34, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_S6DP0I7o8o
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 17:04, Reply)

I now work til 6 on a friday :(((((((((((((((((((((
:(((((((((((((((

alt. :((((((((((((((((((
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 17:09, Reply)

ppi looser

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 17:19, Reply)

Not as loose as your rodent infested hole.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 17:33, Reply)

Highlight of my day was learning that as the tragic, horrific and abhorrent events in France unfolded this afternoon
resident bender "Geordie Jay" was nursing a big gay boner over the french police uniforms
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 17:53, Reply)

I have a boner thinking about you thinking about Geordie Jay's gendarmerie focused erection

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 18:09, Reply)

Where does tangles glans come into this?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 18:17, Reply)

I'm wanking it while thinking about the resident gays thinking about one another's boners

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 18:31, Reply)

You have very soft hands

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 18:35, Reply)

it's all the spunk

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 9 Jan 2015, 18:43, Reply)