HI JAY!
This weekend I am doing MORE KITCHEN! Fucking sick of it but at least I now have the Oak I wanted at no extra cost.

Alt. I'm more of an underreactor. The wife hates it, I always look at the positive side of everything. She's the overreacter, for example, small leak in pipe "THE FUCKING HOUSE IS FALLING APART AROUND US" whislt I google "how to replace isolation valve" and pop off to B&Q

AltAlt. I already have my dream job.
( Peej, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:06, 3 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

How is the kitchen getting along?
I currently have alfresco washing machine and tumble dryer as the garage now has no back wall
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:07, Reply)

i am about to get the builders in

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:09, Reply)

I got the solid oak side panels installed
Worktops should be coming tonight. Downlighting getting installed tonight too. This weekend will be sink, taps, waste disposal, drainage, plinths, pelmets, cornice, breakfast bar, extractor, it never fucking ends.
( Peej, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:14, Reply)

I fucking love the words "plinth" and "pelmet"
They should be used far more often in erotic fiction
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:16, Reply)

I've sniggered at far too many normal words whilst building this fucking thing

( Peej, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:18, Reply)

this^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:18, Reply)

I INSTALLED SOME SOLID OAK IN YOU ARE MUM IS SIDE PANELS LOL

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:16, Reply)

My mum IS side panels!

( Peej, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:18, Reply)

Terrorist

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:18, Reply)

We've cleared out the whole back of the house so it looks really massive and empty at the moment
A ton of steel going in next week
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:17, Reply)

also also ... why don't you just pay somebody to do it and go on holiday until it's finished

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:18, Reply)

If you can pay someone to do something and it costs less than (time it would take you * your hourly rate) then you totally should.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:20, Reply)

prezackly ... pay somebody who knows what they're doing
or waste some of your precious mortality doing a worse job yourself
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:22, Reply)

...which is why financial advisers exist

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:24, Reply)

lol yeah

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:26, Reply)

Thats why I have paid people to do the Gas and worktops. Two jobs I would have fucked up
Whereas Plumbing and Electrics are a piece of piss and I've only had to pay to get them signed off.
( Peej, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:24, Reply)

I say them, the plumbing doesn't need signing obviously.

( Peej, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:24, Reply)

dude, if you're going to lie on the internet, make it convincing
we all know you don't have indoor plumbing or electricity in cornwall.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:28, Reply)

Your second home must be fucking shit then

( Peej, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:33, Reply)

it has a swimming pool so you can do wees in that

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:34, Reply)

Why are you so nice when Swipe is so mean and makes me cry?

( Peej, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:51, Reply)

you should hear what he says about you behind your back

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:53, Reply)

I bet its nice because he is nice!

( Peej, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:55, Reply)

I say things like 'Phil seems like a nice bloke, I'd like to meet him' and when faced with a challenge I wonder aloud 'What would Phil do?' because you inspire me to be the best person I can

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:57, Reply)

I talk in my sleep.
Often I am awoken by an angry wife asking "Who the fuck is Meatsnake?!" Are you having an affair?!
( Peej, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:03, Reply)

she is an ugly person, inside and out, where as i am made of love

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:56, Reply)

The thing is, beauty shines from within and I just know that if she was just a little bit nicer it would show and she would look beautiful
and less like the horrible hag what she is!
( Peej, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:04, Reply)

There is a painting of her in the locked room that becomes more beautiful as she becomes more and more horrible in real life.
Sometimes I sit and stare at it for hours wondering where it all went wrong, I think it's probably something to do with that meat feast pizza.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:10, Reply)

it was made in devon, by civilised people who know how to eat scones and pasties properly
and shipped in...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:35, Reply)

Just out of curiosity, what exactly do you think I use to power the device I am using to connect to the internet?
I'm pretty sure it requires electricity.
( Peej, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:40, Reply)

i think your sixth toe on your left foot has magical powers

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:42, Reply)

Magic powers to produce Electricity.
In Cornwall. My right foot provides the magic for the indoor plumbing.
( Peej, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:44, Reply)

depends if you enjoy it or not
personally i wouldn't, but some people seem to love DIY
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:28, Reply)

Yeah, if you enjoy it fair enough.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:29, Reply)

Weirdos.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:30, Reply)

I fucking hate it but I don't trust tradesmen

( Peej, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:33, Reply)

We are paying people to do some bits and I'm doing the rest myself
We used a complex mathematical equation to work out that I can't afford to pay people for everything so I better give up some weekends.
( Peej, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:22, Reply)

something something getting wood something

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:10, Reply)

Im the same as you Phillie, why so serious everyone?!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:16, Reply)

OK "Heath"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:18, Reply)