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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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nommy-wommy brekkie-wekkies thread :)

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 7:38, 136 replies, latest was 5 years ago)
shut up.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 7:50, Reply)
^ a wise man ^

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:00, Reply)
You're thinking of Christmas, not Easter

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:31, Reply)
you have a narcissistic anti social personality disorder and aspergers

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:00, Reply)
yes

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:01, Reply)
ps putting you on ignore now

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:01, Reply)
APRIL FOOLED U M8 LOL

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:02, Reply)
THE JOKE IS ON YOU M8, IT IS NOT APRIL 1ST ANY MORE!!!!

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:04, Reply)
It is in Anchorage, Alaska. Where I am. Gutted loser.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:07, Reply)
you're the one in Canada pal, the LOOSER IS YOU!!!!

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:08, Reply)
It's okay im only here on business doing some restructuring and consultancy

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:09, Reply)
doing any wifebeating on the side, friend?
Friend.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:10, Reply)
No but I'm going to talk about milfs quite a lot even though none of them talk to me because of my zammo Bell's palsy face

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:15, Reply)
and because you're an unlovable dipsomaniac

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:24, Reply)
Back to the subject
Bacon and black pudding sandwich with 2 mugs of tea.

Keywords - Cardiac arrest
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:22, Reply)
^ prone to heart conditions

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:23, Reply)
^ Positive Test, High Cholesterol

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:29, Reply)
Great work guys!

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:33, Reply)
wakefield is grim

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:39, Reply)
You should have read about in on Trip Advisor before booking your holiday.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:44, Reply)
I'll remember your advice before my next holiday!
I've just booked a week in Dundee.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:48, Reply)
dunno where that is soz

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:50, Reply)
Italy.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:51, Reply)
Oh, lovely! I love Italy and all Italian things even though I've never been and have taken no interest in their culture.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:53, Reply)
I've woken up and I'm feeling somewhat more healthy.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 8:49, Reply)
it's 41C here.
Fucking brutal.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:09, Reply)
Make sure you use your factor 12 then.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:19, Reply)
hahaha.
I've broken out the olive oil.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:21, Reply)
I watched Cameron vs Millispoon last night. WorstbPredator film ever!
S'esly, Millispoon did really badly. He really is the end of a bell.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:12, Reply)
Choccy-woccy for brekkiewoos for the next four days

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:19, Reply)
That's disgusting.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:20, Reply)
WWJD?

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:23, Reply)
Jason would probably have a chocolate covered knob for breakfast. You meant Jason, right?

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:24, Reply)
Always.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:27, Reply)
MEGABONCE!

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:23, Reply)
Hello Dad

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:24, Reply)
*gives pocket money*

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:26, Reply)
*doesn't tell a parent, guardian or teacher about what happens when mum's away for another week*

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:27, Reply)
good lad

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:31, Reply)
Couldn't find a pic of the Mars Bar one

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:24, Reply)
and they wonder why kids can't concentrate at school!

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:25, Reply)
Probably traumatised by having a lion roaring at them over breakfast.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:28, Reply)
since when did caramel make the list of breakfast ingredients?

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:30, Reply)
What healthy alternative did you have this morning?

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:34, Reply)
scrambled egg on toast and then some watermelon.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:37, Reply)
No idea
Guessing it's still better than a larger wetherspoon brekkie.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:46, Reply)
It's okay, mine goes to school 15 miles away and she has to run there every morning
burns it all off
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:29, Reply)
can you send me some video of her doing squat thrusts?

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:34, Reply)
I can

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:34, Reply)
hahaha

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:37, Reply)
These are actually quite nang.
And pale in comparison to some of the stuff the yanks make.

I popped into one of them 'candy' stores for a sneer. Fucking hell.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:17, Reply)
Morning Doz-1
I almost nearly have a roof on my kitchen now. Almost

I had a choice between a 5k run or a bottle of red last night. I chose......wisely
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:46, Reply)
Something Something on the tiles.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:47, Reply)
I met a mate in town for what was supposed to be a few pints and a feed.
But he fucked off early on loldrug related reasons so I went home and stopped off for a few more pints on the way home.

Cooked my tea and went to bed. Woke up in the middle of the night feeling hammered. 7/10.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:15, Reply)
how do you manage to make even talking about breakfast sound creepy?

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 9:55, Reply)
Imagine Dozer bringing you breakfast in bed

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:01, Reply)
+ when you didn't know he was in your flat

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:01, Reply)
fucking hell

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:02, Reply)
+ after he had sat up all night "just watching you sleep"

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:03, Reply)
you're making me itchy

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:04, Reply)

"just watching you sleep" going through your shoe cupboard
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:07, Reply)

going through wanking into
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:08, Reply)
That was implied

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:09, Reply)
at least that would keep him quiet for a good few hours
(i like shoes, i do)
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:11, Reply)
Quiet is not the word I would have used.
In fact, let's just stop that right there. Feeling a bit woozy now.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:14, Reply)
^ is picturing dozer wanking ^
(whilst thinking of chimpy)
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:22, Reply)
^Wanked to dust

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:22, Reply)
...and I'm done

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:28, Reply)
our singer brought some new lyrics to practice last night.
It was about Madeleine McCann.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:06, Reply)
Were they both topical and edgy?

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:07, Reply)
I'd not say topical, as it's been a while since she tragically dissapeared

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:11, Reply)
it still passes for cutting edge humour on hilarious website b3ta, i hear

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:11, Reply)
Black coffee.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:10, Reply)
*pushes pineapple*
Toast with peanut butter, orange juice and LARGE amounts of coffee
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:14, Reply)
I need to start bringing breakfast into the office.
I don't eat it at home as i'd rather the 3 minutes extra in bed.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:16, Reply)
I always have breakfast at work
Get paid to eat toast
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:21, Reply)
When we shared offices with an oil company their canteen used to do bacon and egg rolls for £1.10
And fry-ups on friday for £3.

I miss those times.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:25, Reply)
Bacon and sausage sandwich, Dr Pepper 'Zero'

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:18, Reply)
Are you one of those birds who orders half the chippy and a diet coke?

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:20, Reply)
No, I just prefer the taste of less (fewer) sugary drinks

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:21, Reply)
Just shy of two

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:21, Reply)
The sandwich had 2 sausages, so just fewer than 4 chipolatas

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:22, Reply)
FUCK OFF IS IT, FRIEND. CUNT,

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:30, Reply)
DELETE THIS PLEASE YOU FALANG PRICK

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:32, Reply)
Alana Myleszzzzzzzzzz

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:26, Reply)
By my calculations I'm over 1/3 of the way to 'TOOLS DOWN! FUCK YOU!' time. Well done!

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:31, Reply)
I've got nearly 7 hours to go.
:(
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:32, Reply)
5 1/2 then an hour in the pub for me.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:33, Reply)
I'm tempted to go for a pint at lunchtime.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:35, Reply)
If you want to do something, you should do it. That applies to everything ever.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:38, Reply)
What if you are Peter Sutcliffe ?

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:54, Reply)
My mates grandad got hauled in for questioning when Sutcliffe was on the go. Apparently he looked a lot like him.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:04, Reply)
In the late 70s and early 80s everyone looked like Peter Sutcliffe
especially YM.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:08, Reply)
All Grandads have a well stocked tool shed - it's was probably a fair shout.
I know a chap who had Sutcliffe making deliveries at his work - says that "he was always willing to help unload the lorry".
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:13, Reply)
Alright twangles

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:23, Reply)
/waves

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 13:26, Reply)
My Dad did!
The whole Wearside Jack thing
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:22, Reply)
N.B.
My Dad did not do the whole Wearside Jack thing
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:22, Reply)
Get in the van, man, pet.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:23, Reply)
in my head i've now got one of those vic and bob northern re-imaginings of Withnail and I.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZzaYz80QDA
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:27, Reply)
3 hours 20 minutes here

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:41, Reply)
You never said you were finishing early

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:42, Reply)
Sorry m8, it's been hectic and probably slipped my mind
I'll try to remember to let you know before I leave.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:58, Reply)
Make sure you do please, it could be whole days before we talk again.

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:59, Reply)
I sometimes console myself by reading through these again if you are not online
b3ta.com/search/posts/94007/best
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:03, Reply)
Meatsnake Gold

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:05, Reply)
I've always believed in your soul

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:11, Reply)
I'm indestructable

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:14, Reply)
i read chipolata-gate again
i still can't understand why mini sausages caused such a massive spaz-out from old dwaff-pants.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:08, Reply)
because he's a spasticated buttmunch

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:09, Reply)
it was like a pot of pasta boiling over
but instead of boiling water, it was needless boiling venom
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:10, Reply)
he fancies you

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:11, Reply)
he's in a long queue

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:12, Reply)
can one person truly queue?

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:33, Reply)
^ IS ALSO IN THE QUEUE ^

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:35, Reply)
n

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:37, Reply)
you're as in denial as dr bumbag and his amazing "holiday" (which turned out to be in wales)

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:38, Reply)
no

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:39, Reply)
ps putting you on ignore now

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:39, Reply)
y

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:39, Reply)
I liked it when I, a man who was never his pal, annoyed him so he wrote horrible things about you, a friend of his who never really joined in the Cranley bashing.
That really showed me!
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:13, Reply)
that wasn't one of his finer moments

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:23, Reply)
I'm not even at work!!

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:55, Reply)
I fully intended to have a nose to the grindstone, shoulder to the wheel, hard-working kinda day whilst working from home today
Our office server's fucked - again - so I can't log in to the system and do any work.
Shame. Let's hope it's fixed before 5 so I can do some work, otherwise I'll be off for the next 10 days feeling guilty*


*Actual feelings of guilt may or may not be present. YMMV. T's&C's apply.
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 10:58, Reply)
+ P's and H's
before anyone else says it...
(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:11, Reply)
Thanks Rach, it means a lot to me

(, Thu 2 Apr 2015, 11:13, Reply)

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