It's my B3thday,
...and in honour of this momentous occasion. I'd like you all to post some of your finest erotic pictures of yourselves, and full nudity please. None of this soft focus rubbish and partly hidden behind a sheet.


Virtual cake, hugs, snogs or boob jiggling is also an option.
( girlinthehole, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 10:57, 171 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Good morning!
We have the same b3taday!
I don't have any cake, but can share Belgian waffles with golden syrup....

Happy B3taday chuck!

xxx
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 11:06, Reply)

Hmmmm......
May have an out of date can of squirty cream at the back of the fridge....

Where are my manners? Top o' the morn' to you al!

*waves*

Like some waffles pet?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 11:13, Reply)

*jiggles boobies*
Hang on, were we supposed to jiggle our own boobies?
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 11:14, Reply)

Hello everyone.
Yay tourettes! we both obviously thought today was a good day to get really silly when we signed up for B3ta.

Last night was the works Christmas party. I did not drink as I was driving my mum and dad home and had to pay the pub and singer after the nights festivities. It took 10 minutes to get my very drunken step-father out of the car.

Today I clean : (
( girlinthehole, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 11:39, Reply)

happy b3taday blousalicious.
I'm trying not to cry too much over the revelation that I'm not one of al's favourites.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 12:00, Reply)

Morning BGB et al
Tourette's says she's very sorry but we've run out of squirty cream; will lurpak spreadable do instead? You get to be shiny AND slidy at the same time...

*EDIT* morning MM, you recovered from teh bash yet?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 30 Nov 2008, 12:00, Reply)

ello DG!
Haven't seen your good self for a while- how goes it? And I have mostly recovered, the events coming back to me. Nothing too bad so far.

al- whatever bitch.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 12:03, Reply)

Right you sexiful people
I'm off for some brunch and telly time. Catch you all later.

*jiggles al's boobies*
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 12:06, Reply)

al
do it for a week
make a photo diary
add SCIENCE
be in newletter
enjoy fame
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 12:07, Reply)

I JUST GAVE YOU FAME ADVICE
what the fuck is wrong with you?
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 12:09, Reply)

'ello MM
Am fine, thanks. Been about on here sporadically of late.

And al... you say the nicest things; you're making me blush.

*blushes*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 30 Nov 2008, 12:14, Reply)

if by pork pie
you mean Bert's swollen, engorged, and willing penis. And by eaten you mean bent forwards with one finger in your mouth, coquettish look on your face, and spread yourself, ready for action.

Then yeah, I understand.

EDIT: hellooo
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 12:16, Reply)

Hi al
partly - I have to be extra careful as my boss sits behind me. Plus, the organisation operates a steam driven IT system which is so slow it's painful sometimes.

Awesome wedding outfit - not yet, although I have found a fantastic velvet frock coat that would get worn after the event. I'm just deciding on colour - classic black, burgundy or green.

*fops*

*EDIT* Also, the lovely twiceydrinker lives in the vicinity and has offered to do our wedding photos, so there's another piece of the big day sorted.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 30 Nov 2008, 12:21, Reply)

Right you lot
I'm off to get some work done. Catch y'all later x
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 12:24, Reply)

Happy b3taday!
I'm just back from London.
As soon as my phone is charged up, I'm driving to Cumbria :|
Again :(
( Cawl, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 12:35, Reply)

My thumb
still hurts.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 12:36, Reply)

Wing collar shirt FTW!
I'm hedging on the side of burgundy, personally, as I already own a couple of nice waistcoats that will probably match it. If I order it online they'll send me a colour sample first before they go ahead and make it.

Morning Mr K!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 30 Nov 2008, 12:37, Reply)

Oh fuck...
What did I do to your thumb?
( Cawl, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 12:37, Reply)

And in case anyone is interested
Here's the linky to said coat: www.fantasywaistcoats.co.uk/coats_velvet1.shtml

She has already seen it, so it's OK to place this here.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 30 Nov 2008, 12:39, Reply)

You tried to
twist it off :D
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 12:40, Reply)

I'm really very sorry about that :(
I think the less said about what I got up to on Friday night, the better.
( Cawl, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 12:41, Reply)

It's ok
I enjoyed the kiss better :D
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 13:10, Reply)

Oh fuckin' hell...
Right, on that note, it's time to drive to Barrow.

I'll be back on Monday, so catch you later :)
( Cawl, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 13:12, Reply)

DG
That coat looks awesome *jealouses*

:edit: Hi kaol bye kaol *waves*
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 13:13, Reply)

Happy b3taday BGB and Tourettes
I hope it's a lovely day filled with shexy shenanigans and fun
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 13:19, Reply)

Hello Folks
I'm feeling the effects of a very hedonistic weekend and still have to travel back to Leeds:(

Bash was awesome, and had a nice walk along the South Bank yesterday with Lusty, Lab and Miss Badger.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 13:24, Reply)

Beekers!
*facenoms*

Ahem.
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 13:25, Reply)

@ Captain V
*facenoms back*

*blushes*

*giggles*

How's you, you handsome man?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 13:26, Reply)

'lo becky
If your idea of shexy shenangans is going to the bottle bank to get rid of 6 months worth of bottles and jars; followed by a trip to get sweary jr a new coat after the second one in the space of less than a month has been nicked from school, then yes.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 30 Nov 2008, 13:27, Reply)

I'm not bad
Not bad at all.

TGB and I had many a chuckle yesterday discussing the events of Friday night including TGB telling me that Lusty thought it was hot and me using the line *dreams of Beeker's sweet, sweet loins*

:edit: How rude. I forgot to ask how handsome man number 2 is. So BK, how are you you sexual being?
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 13:33, Reply)

@ V
We had a giggle about it yesterday as well.

It was a fun evening all round.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 13:35, Reply)

Aye
T'was an excellent night. Great to meet you and all the other b3tans I'd not previously met. I'm not even annoyed about the lack of pub food anymore as it made the night much cheaper for me than it would otherwise have been =D
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 13:38, Reply)

@ V
Yeah, lovely to meet you too. Was nice we had a relatively sober chat before the ridiculous consumption of cider and the re-enactment of Brokeback Mountain:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 13:42, Reply)

Haha
Yea the sober chat was good. Wish I'd had that with more people but I think I'd always have reserved the furious man lovin' for you darling.

:edit: Just realised that it sounded like I wish I'd reenacted brokeback mountain with more people. Obviously I meant the sober chatting...
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 13:45, Reply)

Haha!
That's ok. I knew what you meant!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 13:53, Reply)

Hello People!
Happy B3taday BGB and Tourette's!

*hugs Pickleface and V*

I'm having a pyjama day today. I think I am just going to spend all day in my pjs watching house and nomming food and I'll probably have a wee drink or two later

*lazy sunday glees*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 14:06, Reply)

*lazy glees*
*hugs Badgerface*

You did say you were going to have a lazy day.
I managed to get through that bottle of gin with Lusty's friend Ian last night so I'm all bleary and a bit rough:(
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 14:08, Reply)

I've only just got out of bed
so the lazy day is going to plan so far :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 14:08, Reply)

I thought we'd been lazy!
We got up about 12.

Still got to travel back to Leeds yet though

*glums*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 14:10, Reply)

I woke up at 9
But just kept going back to sleep :p

I was going to just stay in bed but I was hungry and the cold pizza in the fridge was calling to me!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 14:11, Reply)

We had curry last night
It was lully!
Lusty's cooking for me today cos she's nice like that:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 14:14, Reply)

Hey badger!
*hugs*

I'm rather envious of you in your pjs. I on the other hand am very busy procrastinating.

@BK so you're not the pillow eating bitch this weekend then?
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 14:17, Reply)

@ V
Not this weekend no!

I've put my foot down this weekend.

Oop, she's just shouted me. Better run!

Laters:D
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 14:23, Reply)

Happy B3taday
BGB and Tourettes.

"jiggles moobs in celebration"
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 14:37, Reply)

Your moobs
killed the thread! :p

I'm watching house so am drifting in and out. I may be going for a drink though so I'll have to have a shower soon...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 14:52, Reply)

afternoon all.
And how are we, anyone still hung over.

I've got Radio 4 on. The play is The Hunchback of Notre Dame. The hunchback is being played by a deaf man. Am a wrong to laugh at the idea of a deaf man being in a radio play?

Oh and a quality street to the first person who can get this website working www.primaryteaching.co.uk
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sun 30 Nov 2008, 15:06, Reply)

Noon all
I'm taking a break from working on my portfolio and watching House.

DG, it's what you do afterwards that counts as your shexy time donchaknow ,)

Mrs L, it loads up with lots of well done's. Do I win a half a quality street now?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 15:11, Reply)

Yes you do Becks
What browser are you using?
I've tried Firefox, IE (on windows) and Safari.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sun 30 Nov 2008, 15:13, Reply)

^^TGB
Well ... more mooblets to be honest ... but I am at that worrying crossroads where its time to excercise more or admit defeat and break out the cream cakes.


I have already booked the extra pool time!
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 15:13, Reply)

I'm using firefox 3
on Windows. You can't actually do anything with the site as it wont load further, but it told me well done, so that's good enough for me. *is helpful*
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 15:17, Reply)

Happy B3taday
BGB. Sorry no nudey pics if me, you can rest easy knowing that! *HUGS*

And you as well Tourettes
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 15:18, Reply)

I think their website
is all of teh bollocks and I have just emailed them to tell them so.
Cockends!

Thanks for trying though Becks.

How are you anyway? Good bash?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sun 30 Nov 2008, 15:19, Reply)

I'm good thanks
did the whole recovery thing yesterday and am currently in bed working on my portfolio...that sounds a bit wrong, it's a nursing thing...honest.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 15:24, Reply)

I'm a bit disappointed that no photos have been forthcoming.
Your all a filthy bunch so I was expecting a plethora of porn.
( girlinthehole, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 15:34, Reply)

Sorry BGB
My days of flashing my bits online are over
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 15:50, Reply)

I can offer cake
Which is much nicer to look at than naked pictures of me
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 15:51, Reply)

BGB
There are none of me, nobody would have the guts to take any!

Did I just hear the magic word? CAKE?

Yes please Badger.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 15:53, Reply)

*imagines cakey boobs*
Yummy!

I think I've been involved in enough porn for one weekend. Sorry BGB.
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 15:54, Reply)

happy B3taday BGB & Tourettes!...

Unfortunately, and to my lasting regret, I am unable to post any naked photographs of myself on this thread...

My monitor is only 22 inches ;)

That, and the fact it has taken me about half an hour to post this...because I am quite squiffy at the moment...
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Sun 30 Nov 2008, 16:31, Reply)

Woo hoo
I just found my copy of City Slickers and City Slickers II. Heading back to work stuff now so I can enjoy their awesomeness later.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 16:41, Reply)

Hmm
my current board sig is more than a little apt, methinks.

*shrugs*

*goes off to kitchen in search of alcomahol*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 30 Nov 2008, 17:39, Reply)

Afternoon all
My head hurts, and the guitarist upstairs is back. I want to go upstairs and hurt him. Lots.

How are you all?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 17:56, Reply)

I'm not a happy bunny.
I've had bad hearburn all afternoon : (


I'm now going to watch Wild China on BBC2. If anyone hasn't seen it then try to catch it. It's ace.
( girlinthehole, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 17:59, Reply)

I'm watching Star Wars
I want an ewok for Christmas.

Dok glad to see you have put up some of the pics, were the others badly out of focus? The one of halfy poking his eye makes me laugh far too much
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 18:09, Reply)

Aww, I forgot that was on
Now I'm only going to see the last 45 minutes :(
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 18:14, Reply)

Star wars
That is a good shout. I think I'll have to whip out the DVDs for my bedtime movie tonight.
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 18:18, Reply)

Badger, you're so cheeky!
But noo I ran out of upload space, I'll get the rest up soon.

So how's the rest of your weekend been?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 18:23, Reply)

I too am watching Star Wars
It's a worry that Mr Bin can recite the entire script, along with the bits where C3P0 is telling the Ewoks the story!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sun 30 Nov 2008, 18:53, Reply)

That would be a bit worrying actually
Wish I'd seen the whole film, I can't remember most of that one.

How are you tonight Mrs Bin? Busy weekend?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 19:01, Reply)

We had mother and father up yesterday PoD
They only come for the day as they don't like to be in the 'city' for too long.
It's hard work walking through the town with them, they just don't get roads. I had to stop mother from being run over by a bus more than once.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sun 30 Nov 2008, 19:03, Reply)

Cheeky
but lovable :p

Weekend has been good part from the choking fit I am having right now
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 19:04, Reply)

Evening badgerface
Enjoy your pizza last night?

Sounds like.....fun? I know many people who are useless at crossing roads. I generally just leave them to it. The other day on my walk home, I nearly saw 3 people get run over from being stupid. One was a mum pushing a baby.

*despairs*
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 19:09, Reply)

This isn't crossing the road PoD
this is walking down the pavement.
They just don't get it and wander down the middle of the road.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sun 30 Nov 2008, 19:11, Reply)

*passes Gaviscon to BGB*
Here you go pet....

Fancy a b3taday glass of wine with which to wash it down?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 19:11, Reply)

I enjoyed my pizza last night
and enjoyed it again for lunch! Cold pizza is nommy!

Hey Mrs L!
And Tourette's *passes b3taday cake*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 19:12, Reply)

Cold Pizza
Is very Nomable.

I have just eaten a chinese, they were tastey!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 19:26, Reply)

Even more impressive Mrs Bin
I had some pizza tonight too. It was awesome, especially since I was feeling awful, and after eating it feel a bit better. Now, if only that work was finished.

That work that I can't be bothered with, and I'm not planning to look at until after Top Gear....
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 19:30, Reply)

Dok
Didn't you get the memo? Eating peoples is a bad no no.

*waggles finger*

@Tourettes For some reason when you said gaviscon I thought of lube...
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 19:31, Reply)

Captain
I must have missed that one!

I'll file that fact away, so I don't do it again!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 19:51, Reply)

*hugs dok in his awesome coat*
*dances about a bit*
Top Gear time!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 19:56, Reply)

'Tis a bit late-ish in the day now
but happy b3thday BGB and Super Sweary!

Enjoy your cake.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Sun 30 Nov 2008, 19:58, Reply)

It's all quiet!
Anyone around at all?

*boreds*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 20:34, Reply)

' lo Beekers
Just sent a load of pics to BGB from the minibash.

Gaz me your email and I'll send some on!

You look cute when you're asleep...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:02, Reply)

*jumps back into the thread*
I really want a carbon fiber shitter now.

/top gear
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:02, Reply)

Hey Davros
Email gazzed!

Hey again Captain!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:07, Reply)

Hey BK
Having a nice evening? Are you back up in northern lands yet?
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:09, Reply)

*shivers into the thread*
holy crap it's cold outside
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:09, Reply)

*hands TGB a hoodie*
Have that, it's too warm in my room and I've not even had the heating on...
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:11, Reply)

@ Captain V
Got back about an hour ago, really tired and spaced out though.

Hey miss Badger! *hugs*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:12, Reply)

Thanks V
I do have about 5 layers on though!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:13, Reply)

I see
I'm going to presume the trip was trouble free and say that I'm glad it was.

Urgh, work tomorrow ='[

:edit: TGB - one more wont hurt then will it although you might start struggling to move soon...
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:13, Reply)

@ V
Yeah, it was no problem - went really quick which was good. Was a right shock stepping off the train into the cold though!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:15, Reply)

ooh
picklaface hugs! *hugs*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:15, Reply)

I'm off for a wee bit
Going to finish going through my wardrobe and try on all my trousers before throwing some out. I'm expecting some of them to put up quite a fight. *looks at love handles*

At least there's something to hold onto now I suppose...
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:20, Reply)

*enjoys hugs*
Still grinning from the weekend, it was fucking awesome!

Lovely day yesterday too Badgerface. Even with the accidental spliff:D

The Sausage Festival is still making me giggle, and the little kid falling off his scooter!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:25, Reply)

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
the sausage festival thing is far too funny!!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:25, Reply)

Isn't it?
I'm sure she didn't realise how it sounded!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:29, Reply)

It was more the fact
she was so excited about the next one!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:30, Reply)

And I'm back in the room
BK may I share something with you which I've just learned, unfortunately, through practical experience: Getting one or more of your testicles stuck in your trouser leg hurts...a lot.
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:33, Reply)

Haha!
She loved it, the slaaaaaaggg!

I want another bash soon!

I don't seem to have a life outside this site at the moment!

*shrugs*

*edit* @ V
Oww! Sounds painful:S

I sat down on my bollocks the other day. Fuck me, that hurt!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:34, Reply)

It's alright BK
You can admit it. You only want another bash so we can pick up where we left off =p

Nowt wrong with not having much of a life outside of b3ta - we're all awesome and full of fluffehs!

:edit: Yes, yes it was. Not sure I've ever sat on a testicle before (at least not my own). I don't think my goolies hang that low but they certainly wobble too and fro.
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:36, Reply)

hah
and you kneed Lab in the balls too pickleface!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:36, Reply)

Yup!
There was much awesomeness and fluffehs on Friday. I felt a bit hugged out by the end:)

Oh alright, I admit it;)

*edit* @ Badger

Oh yeah! He did get me back by bumming me on the tube though so that's fair.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:37, Reply)

oh god
I just saw your sig and started chocking again!

ball and cup!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:38, Reply)

I'm not sure I even want to know
/boggle
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:39, Reply)

Hahahahahahaha!
*giggles muchly*

I talked about my scrotum way too much!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:39, Reply)

Boo and hiss and boo
My potential date for next weekend isn't going to happen. *sadface*

But she does want to meet up another time *happyface*
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:41, Reply)

You love it beekers!
And probably best not to ask V!

When we got back Friday Beekers stripped off and jumped on me and Lab!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:42, Reply)

*jealouses*
I remember you mentioning that yesterday now. I was jealous then too.

*dreams of Beeker's naked, naked scrotum*
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:43, Reply)

@ Captain V
Boo and yay!

What does another time mean? Soon?

@ TGB
I did love it, such a gentlemanly person to lose my anal virginity to:D

I didn't get fully naked and try and teabag them or anything!

*saves that plan for next time*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:44, Reply)

Not sure BK
But hopefully sometime soon. Next time I can fit any sort of date in is during the day before Kaol and Clendrix have their birthday bash in the evening so I'm going to see if she's free then.
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:46, Reply)

hehe
I am sure Lab would be excited to hear that!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:46, Reply)

I'm off
I think. Early start tomorrow.

*waves*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:48, Reply)

Bye Davros!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:49, Reply)

Later Davros!
I'll look forward to the photos:)

@ Badger

I'm sure he would.

@ V
I think I will be around that weekend as well:D
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:50, Reply)

Well
I want to be around that weekend now :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:51, Reply)

night Davros
@BK Excellent. I'll bring my vaseline this time.

I feel like I'm turning into Al or Bert. Help me somebody...
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:52, Reply)

*rubs V's beard*
If you want to be Bert I am going to have to feel you up *gropes*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:53, Reply)

@ Badger
Yay! Would be awesome if you could make it!

@ V!

My weekends are turning into Brokeback Mountain at the minute:S
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:54, Reply)

Come on BK
You must know of more gay films to compare your life to than brokeback mountain.For example Gold Rush Boys

@TGB If being like bert means I get you feeling me up pass me the goats and quickly!
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:58, Reply)

@ V
Ok, Bad Education then:D
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:00, Reply)

hahah
oh dear I am really getting a reputation here!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:00, Reply)

Hmmm
I think all 3 of us will start getting reputations if we're not careful.

*proffers beard*

Yes, I'm a beard whore.
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:01, Reply)

Hey!
I have already claimed beard whore!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:02, Reply)

@ V
*revels in reputation*

Think mine is resident B3ta bitch!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:04, Reply)

You're a beard whore in a completely different way
You stroke around with any beard that comes your way. I, on the other beard, will beard around with anybody for a pricely sum minimal fee.
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:04, Reply)

Well you gorgeous people
I'm off to bed, fucking knackered and up at six tomorrow!

Laters!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:06, Reply)

I actually
have a very high beard policy. If the beard doesn't make it I don't stroke it

Bye pickleface! *huggles*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:06, Reply)

Night BK
*facenoms*

Isn't that a bit of a contradiction in terms? A beard whore who has very high beard standards? =p

Urgh, I've kind of walked into a date with somebody I don't particularly want to go on a date with. Arse.
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:09, Reply)

If you want an excuse V
Say you can't make it you have a date with a hot badger ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:10, Reply)

*staggers in*
am pished.

*offers wine & roast chicken all round*

*teeters*

*jiggles jubblies at BGB*

hic!
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:10, Reply)

*looks around*
BGB isn't here, I'm one letter off can I have them instead? :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:12, Reply)

captain V
I'll happily be your alibi! ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:12, Reply)

*jiggles jubblies at TGB*
Fancy a glass of wine pet? We cleaned up at Asda today, loads of top quality wines on their 3 for £10 offer. What's your preference?

xxx
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:15, Reply)

Thanks tourettes
I'm already trying to think of good excuses that wont get me in trouble with our mutual friend. I need a family member to fall ill or something...
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:15, Reply)

^ *giggles*
captain V said "member"
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:16, Reply)

*sighs*
I wish I were drunk right now rather than being sober for work in the morning. Can't stand work at the moment.

:edit: I think I've had a stroke of genius. I'd already said that I'd need to get a lift of some sort so I've said "I'll see if I can arrange transport and hopefully see you there".

Winnar!
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:18, Reply)

lol
Tourette's I bowto your ability to make anything dirty. I like red if it's going? Thank you very much :D

*enjoys jiggles*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:18, Reply)

TGB
is Lindemans Cabernet Sauvignon Merlot ok?

*fetches clean glass*

*jiggles some more*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:22, Reply)

That sounds ace
Both the wine and the jiggling! If I don't meet you and Davros beforehand I hope I meet you at Edinburgh I have heard lots of awesomeness about you guys :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:25, Reply)

Arsefuckingshitbuggery
She suggested trains and I can do that. Grrrr.

:edit: Have I managed to kill the thread too?
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:26, Reply)

no killing threads
more watching house!

V I thought you saw someone the other day you liked?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:32, Reply)

Unfotunately not
I've been on 2 dates so far. The first was good, both had a nice time but there was a noticeable lack of clicking. The second date (with a different person) didn't go all that well and I'm not very keen on her at all (without meaning to sound horrible, we're not on the same intellectual wavelength). I think I must've come across as quite keen when she suggested we go to see a madness tribute band (probably because I was drunk and I love madness) so now it seems I'm going to be going.

There is a third person with whom I have a potential date lined up. Quite interested to see where that one might go as she drinks pints and owns a wii.

If I'm honest though I'm more interested in the next bash...
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:38, Reply)

I'm starting to think
b3ta is a lot better than match! *mumbles a lot to all subsequent questions*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:39, Reply)

Dear BGB, this is the closest you're goin to get in the pr0n dept..
DG is watching footie on t'picture wireless. (Don't ask me who's playing?)

As it's my b3taday, I rather thought he might have something for me..... nudge-nudge, wink-wink ;o)

So, I just went in to the living room and asked him straight (I'm used to working with autistic kids, hence minimal language)

"Footie or shag?"

With ne'er a blink o' the eye he replied, "Both!"

*shakes head*

I don't know. Some folk these days want jam on both sides. PFFT.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:42, Reply)

I know what you mean
But you can't start mumbling like that. Not after being so close to juicy gossip!

Even if it costs me eleventyhundred pounds I will ply you with drinks until you spill your gossip.

Did lab not wear his PJs?! *shocks*
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:45, Reply)

V man
Glad to notice you never end a sentence with a preposition - perhaps you could use such a grammatical irk with which to cunt the less desirable date in the fuck?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:46, Reply)

That's a fantastic idea Tourettes
If only my grammar were better. I had to look up the definition of preposition. I don't think I'll ever stop being bitter about the ridiculous practice of being forced to study the bollocks that is English literature at GCSE whilst not being taught about English language beyond a bit of creative writing.

I was taught French and German better than I was taught English...
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:50, Reply)

unfortunate bollocksy "education" system
In the good ol' days we were taught proper gramma like. Nowadays examinaion boards are cunting off to the other extreme by suggesting we allow "txt spk" to be acceptable in English Lit exams....

Holy cock-shitting christ.

At least you had the opportunity to study 2 other languages - though perfect grammar is essential for each....
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:56, Reply)

Hmmm
English literature (the subject not the actual literature) should be cunted in the fuck and made to burn in hell.

You might enjoy this essay about, well, essays. paulgraham.com/essay.html
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 22:59, Reply)

*pops in*
Woo Grammar yay!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 23:01, Reply)

What an epic fail
I just tried to put my duvet into my duvet cover...sideways.

*sigh*

*passes many pints of strongbow to the badger*

Get drunk, spill beans!
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 23:03, Reply)

pink cock-shining Blackpool rock!
That's a LONG PIECE. Hope you don't mind if I copy & PASTE it to read tomorrow?
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 23:04, Reply)

Of course not
I wasn't expecting you to read it now. A lot of the essays on his website are very good but they take a while to read. Excellent way to waste some time at work =]
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 23:06, Reply)

G'night TGB & Captain V!
Am off to me scratcher.

*waves & blows kisses*

(Sorry guys, I'm a lousy shot....)

xxx
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 23:07, Reply)

Bye Tourette's!
Lovely as always seeing you.

Just you and me then V ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 23:08, Reply)

Night night
*dives to his right to catch the kiss landing with a spectacular roll*

:edit: Indeed. I've managed to make my bed now but I'm staying up to do some maths. Damn I sound cool.

:edit2: Seems I'm not doing any maths yet. I can't find a pen -_-
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 23:08, Reply)

Evenin'
Despite my flu, I managed to drag myself out of bed and head up North today. We managed to film a few comedy sketches and catch up on old times.

Still not completely recovered.

How are you all this evening?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 23:13, Reply)

Happy b3ta day
BGB and Tourettes
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 23:14, Reply)

*now has a pen*
Sorry to hear you're not feeling well spakka.
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 23:16, Reply)

Hi V
Went to bed at 5pm-ish yesterday and didn't get up until 7 today. Had a feverish dream in which my tossing and turning was me playing some part of a play. Was either too cold or too hot.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 23:22, Reply)

Oh dear
I've had a lot of odd dreams lately. Either last night or the night before my dreams included b3tans again but I can't actually remember anything more about this one.

:edit: HIV. Great punnage.
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 23:24, Reply)

I win for odd dreams!
... I was going to explain it. But a part of me feels I probably share too much as it is
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 23:25, Reply)

You don't share enough!
*thinks back to earlier mumblings*

The excuse of sharing too much wont ever work on b3ta.

He says after deciding not to share the story he was talking about before the bash
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 23:27, Reply)

Re sharing
Remember, here on b3ta, we're at our best when we're at our worst.

I like odd dreams, but not feverish dreams. I too have often had b3tans making appearances in my dreams.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 23:31, Reply)

Probably.
Anyways I am finishing this episode of house then off to bed so night all :)

and *hugs* for Spakka
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 23:36, Reply)

Night badger
*is sad at the lack of hugs*
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 23:37, Reply)

*runs back*
*hugs V*

*rubs beard*

*runs out*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 23:38, Reply)

*woo*
I think I'm going to head to bed too. Night spakka.
( Captain V, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 23:39, Reply)

Night Badger, Night V
I disappear for a bit only to find everyone running off to bed.

EDIT: And on that note, it's 'night from me too.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 23:46, Reply)

I'm a big boy with my massive cock
Hahahahahahaha... and hahahaha.. and hahahaha... until no longer appropriate..
(lost, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 2:09, Reply)