OH QOTW!
When you can just stop LYING at one another and accept the fact that you've not got any friends in the real, more important world?

Get out a bit. See some art. Talk to a girl and things.
I've got problems with some of the /talk users, some of whom have come out as a bit fruity, lately.
You don't want to douse yourself in QUEER, do you?

Come on, join the revolution, put your thermals on and get yourself out front.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Dec 2008, 13:42, 49 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

oh do fuck off
theres a good chap
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 13:47, Reply)

Talk to a *what*?
**shivers**
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 13:48, Reply)

There's the two sides of b3ta.
Moaning, and acceptance.

I thank you for playing.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Dec 2008, 13:52, Reply)

QUEER..?
Is that Ralph Loren?

Hehehe

I see a chanel 5 documentery looming:
"When Marketing goes BAD!"
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 13:52, Reply)

The fruity scent of queer.
All in one simple puff.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Dec 2008, 13:55, Reply)

I don't think people lie as much as some suspect..
..by its very nature qotw is a place to offload whatever strange stories we have and life's weird enough without needing to lie about it.

Although I reackon a lot of people, like myself, don't write exact carbon copies of what happened. Memory is tricky and you've got to tell a story without too many unnecessary detours, so what you often get is the gist, not the exact truth.

I'd love to get out and see some art but this is flippin' Droitwich here.. there's a vandalised statue in the park but it doesn't really appeal.
(lost, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 13:57, Reply)

Its not a moan
Its a request.
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 13:59, Reply)

There was proof of the lies in a newsletter a few weeks ago
That one about the people finding a troll.

That said everyone lies on the internet.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 14:03, Reply)

I think JMG
is throwing a fatty wobble.

The internet is going to fucking explode.

Srs bsns.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 14:06, Reply)

I'm with Lost
Well, not literally. I know where I am. Stuck in a fucking London server room for Tuesday fun.

A lot of the more involved stories are simply too far fetched to be made up.

QOTW clearly has a lot of lurkers to whom nothing interesting ever happens, so naturally they assume most of the posts are from Noel Coward wannabes, whacking off in glorious anonymity. "Bring on the real stories", they cry. Their loss... hehehe
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 14:06, Reply)

It's just the internet.
It's not important.
( Zuowan, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 14:08, Reply)

Who the hell cares?
If people are entertained by it then that's the whole point of the site. Christ, the Cheeky Girls would still be Transylvanian harlots if some mongoloids didn't find them entertaining.
(GONEism, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 14:16, Reply)

They still are, aren't they?
You can take the girl out of the harlot, but...
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 14:23, Reply)

Alright
I'll admit it I'm really a fat bloke from Ipswich and I have no friends.

There.

Happy now?

*cries*
*goes off to wash himself in QUEER*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 14:25, Reply)

And more to the point...
JMG, you're telling us we need to get out more. Aren't I right in thinking that your posts are all over /talk all day, every day?
(GONEism, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 14:26, Reply)

If I was totally honest..
..I could tell some true stories that would curl your toenails. But I have good and not-so-good friends in real life who read b3ta, and it could get me in a LOT of trouble, both legal and emotional.
(lost, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 14:26, Reply)

BertMonkeySex has elevated lying into a fine art..
along with a few others..but the point is you know he's lying, unless you're a complete moron or helplessly in love with him in the most perverse way possible like althegeordie.
(lost, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 14:29, Reply)

Eh?
I rarely lie on here, if you check my profile you'll see that four of my five top stories were 100% true, and the other is blatant fantasy.

PS JMG is a cuntastic spunk-bubble who deserves a worser ending than baby P.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 14:54, Reply)

Wish I'd thought of this earlier
So one day, my QOTW friends decided they were going to spend the day tripping. Wasn't really my kind of thing, though it's usually a good spectator's sport.

Around midday, I refreshed the board. The browser came open a crack and BGB's face appeared.

"We found a troll!", she whispered seductively, her spandex glistening in the winter sun.

She took me through the pensive house to the kitchen, where a small, subdued /Talker sat gently dribbling down his neon red "I'm with Stupid--->" t-shirt.

I took him by the hand, telling him it was ok, that I was a friend, and led him back to the park toilets, stopping a safe distance back to watch him gleefully run to his friends.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 14:55, Reply)

Completely taking it all too seriously, I see.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Dec 2008, 14:55, Reply)

@JMG
Not at all, you cum-swapping fish fucker.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 14:56, Reply)

Hold on a moment. Shut up nerd.
www.comboutique.com/shop/selectionnerproduit.php?shopid=28499&prduid=685281&itemid=106&size=2&color=11
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Dec 2008, 15:02, Reply)

@ JMG
Would you have meant it seriously if we hadn't called you all sorts of nasty names?
(GONEism, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 15:03, Reply)

Ok I'm going to require some kind of translator for this.
Who's able to discuss things with popular b3tans?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Dec 2008, 15:06, Reply)

Also, I don't even have to be on QOTW.
:(

www.b3ta.com/search/answers?q=jmg

Come on.
:(((((
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Dec 2008, 15:09, Reply)

Sorry, I'll say it in /talk for you.
Cunt the fuck off, tumour.
(GONEism, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 15:11, Reply)

Stop showing off. There's no girls looking.
You're on QOTW.


Would you like to Gaz your replies from now on to Moohalaa?
He handles most of my mail these days.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Dec 2008, 15:12, Reply)

What would you like to discuss, JMG?
Sit back, relax, tell us about your childhood, QOTW is listening. Cup of tea?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 15:15, Reply)

Have you employed anyone to suck your cock yet?
If not, I'd *really* like to apply for the position.

Reading your QOTW search results made me do a little wet on my chair.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 15:17, Reply)

Seeing as it's QOTW I'll start with the time I knocked out Mr. T when I was six years old whilst having sex with three page 3 girls that was real and everything.
Plus I can't drink tea as I'm LOLMENTAL and require LOLMENTAL DRUGS to keep SANITY whilst at home with my three kids and Jeremy Kyle on the TV.
When I'm not at work, working as a server operative, or a sergeant in the army.
The bestest army ever.


Oh yeah, and I'm a girl.
With robot arms.


[A witty story about sex I never had, or the time I kissed another girl for attention that I'm going to get from a man in an anorak, whilst sitting indoors. In Sudbury.]
xxxx
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Dec 2008, 15:21, Reply)

I don't actually get the /talk /qotw rivalry
but it does make me laugh.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 15:24, Reply)

They won't listen Jammy.
And they won't be happy until every last bit of what made b3ta great has been drowned out by their insipidness.

I remember a time when I enjoyed reading QOTW. They've well and truly fucked that up.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 15:26, Reply)

Shit people aren't limited to QOTW
Theres loads of them on /talk, /board and /links. In fact, they're all over the whole internet.
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 15:40, Reply)

Oh triple S
how can you say such a thing?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 15:43, Reply)

Not YOU, Lovely BlueStar!
I'm thinking people like Syncubus.

Heh. "People".
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 15:45, Reply)

Current QOTW is awesome. And JMG is a spaz - haven't got a clue where his popularity has come from! All he does is post on /talk the like of "JMG IS HERE" and copious attention is duly given.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 15:58, Reply)

to tdw
There's plenty of people on qotw who get lots of attention for doing nothing (home sweet home posts spring to mind), it because people know them, don't think /qotw is radically different it's not it's just got a different set of regulars.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 16:07, Reply)

@Jam Rag Mistress Boy George...

I would say “Methinks he doth protest too much”…

But I doubt you’d understand what I’m talking about…so I’ll put it this way.

The puerile, asinine comments (I’ll just wait here whilst you google ‘asinine’ and find out what it means) which you regularly spew out over these pages in an inane attempt to rile people, simply reek of a classic example of ‘over compensating’

Your actions are a textbook case of a lonely, closet homosexual – hitting out at society because you refuse to accept who you really are.

To put it mildly – you couldn’t hammer home your own ‘queer’ message any harder if you wore a pink tutu and screamed about how much you ‘love teh cock’ whilst painting ‘JMG’ = ‘JIZZSWALLOWING MASSIVE GAY’ in whopping great letters over the Tyne bridge

How’s you attention span doing by this point?....need a nap?.

As for your ‘entourage’?... the half dozen pre-teen illiterates who have nothing better to do than read your pointless antagonism from the safety of mumsy and dadsy's house?

I wonder how much they will jump to support you when you finally fall out of the closet you have so firmly wedged yourself into, and embrace the truth that you have been living a lonely lie for as long as you can remember?

Boo-fucking-hoo.

I couldn’t care less about the fact that you don’t like QotW. Pull your bollocks out from wherever you tuck them away so they don’t hang out of your mini skirt…and do something grown up about it.

Like fuck off and don’t come back.

POOFLAKE IS HERE!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 2 Dec 2008, 16:15, Reply)

Thank God they place the internet near seats.
The user above will deny he was ever wound up at me, mind.
This is the internet. It's VERY serious stuff.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 2 Dec 2008, 16:44, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHAH!
I am a pre-teen. Because I can see that JMG speaks the truth. THERE IS A LOGICAL LINK. THERE FUCKING IS. AND TO PROVE IT I'LL WAFFLE ON TRYING TO USE LONG WORDS IN THE BELIEF IT MAKES ME WITTY WHILE I WEEP ALL OVER MY KEYBOARD.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 16:50, Reply)

^^slapheadbaboon^^...

TLDR
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 2 Dec 2008, 16:52, Reply)

shud up jmg
[lots of words that intimate that I'm psycho-analysing you but in fact is just me waffling on

also adding double line spacing so people such as myself can read it because of my squinty downs eyeballs

ramble ramble ramble I touched a girl under the bridge once.

I lured her there with the promise of sweets but i didn't have any so i
just wanked into a hedge where a tramp was sleeping.

the tramp was in fact a genie who granted me three wishes. I wished for infinite wishes which turned out to be some
kind of genie code for fuck my arse.

have you seen a genie's cock? it was spikey and barbed but i enjoyed it.

anyway i walked home and came across another genie.

he wasn't very happy i came across him so i ran away and joined the circus.

I didn't like the circus so i left the circus and
joined the military. once in the military I chinned everyone - including baldmonkey who
had just chinned God - so that means i could chin god.

I couldn't find god so i just decided to stop a terrorist attack within 24 hours.

so, anyway... once I climbed to the top of everest I reached up and pulled god by the bollocks and he was dead scared.

In conclusion: jmg is a big bald dole mum with me in a house etc
(likeajackhammer, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 16:55, Reply)

You are quite young
aren't you JMG?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 16:56, Reply)

JMG!
you are nothing but a "gay anal porn"

I'll wait while you google "gay anal porn"
(likeajackhammer, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 16:58, Reply)

LolzzzzLLLLLBBBZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzZ!!!!!111!!!!!EleventyONe!!!

Gay...anal...gay...LOL!

I'll just wait while you...actually, no I won't

It's past your bedtime anyway. Now, be a good hubare or you won't get your story,
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 2 Dec 2008, 17:04, Reply)

AH YES
with a name like "Pooflake" we can tell this user is a grown up and behaves like an adult

jesus fucking christ
( Barry Chuckle III - the troll with a soul., Tue 2 Dec 2008, 17:14, Reply)

Don't judge a book by his cover...

or his username...

or his posts...


or his....oh fuck off.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 2 Dec 2008, 20:00, Reply)

Irate /talkers..
..why not take it up with Rob? These are his message boards, not ours. He could boot you off just as much as us.. so why not quit with the snidey comments. What the hell are you trying to prove? Think you own the place? You don't.
(lost, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 23:52, Reply)

Why on earth are so many people taking things all too seriously?
JMG's posting. That's why!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Dec 2008, 15:01, Reply)