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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I have no story to tell...
so make up your own shit.
hsh
Thursday evening's thread for the desperate.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:43, 137 replies, latest was 17 years ago)
I should imagine it'll be quiet tonight.
But do feel free to ramble on.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:45, Reply)
Will you eat my willy
please?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:51, Reply)
No
Does anyone want to swap lungs? I'm fed up with mine.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:52, Reply)
Well, I was about to have sausages but...
OK, then.

Shall I have the sweet potato mash with it?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:52, Reply)
Evening you sexy OTers!
Good day everyone?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:52, Reply)
Sweet potato mash?
Isn't that baby food? You don't need a side dish, it comes with some rather large plums and it's own special sauce.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:55, Reply)
Aaargh
I'm confusing myself now, who am I again?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:57, Reply)
Gah!
My entry for last week's QOTW didn't make it into the best of. Was up until 5am finishing it. Even though I slept only two hours, I still managed to remain concious at work most of the time.

Can't really think of much to add to this week's QOTW, but I'm sure there's an inner demon or two waiting to be let out if I think hard enough.

In other news, the elastic on the underpants I'm wearing has become ridiculously loose and for much of my bikerides to and from work, I ended up with my underpants round my thighs instead of my hips.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:00, Reply)
Pity me for I have the lurgy : (
.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:07, Reply)
Well Bert, er Jam, er...
whoever.

No side dish then. Just slap it on here and we'll see what needs to be done.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:10, Reply)
Ahhh....
poor BGB. Go back to bed, have lots of chicken soups and drink plenty of water, that's how I got over mine.

@clendrix

*waps it out on the table*

There, what d'ya think o' that then?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:14, Reply)
@Bert
Well I've had quorn curry and a glass of wine. Should have the same affect, yes?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:16, Reply)
Evening all!
Spakka, that's because it would have taken the full week to read. I think we've found our resident Tolstoy!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:17, Reply)
@BGB
Quorn? Urgh, you hippie, you deserve to be ill.

Real meat is the badger's nadgers.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:19, Reply)
I didn't read it, Spak.
Bert - well, it's quite a monster. Thank heavens for detachable mandibles, eh?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:20, Reply)
Man-dibbles?
KILL IT
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:21, Reply)
.
Evenin Miss Blouse
* pities *

Evenin Beek-Beek
If you thought that was a long 'un, this is my longest yet. BTW this is my longest pun.
BTW. Nice story you posted this afternoon.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:34, Reply)
Cheers matey
Not one to read if you're eating though. Just noticed how many of mine inolve crazy exes:s
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:42, Reply)
Right, that's the 8:30 broadcast finished

I'm off for some food before the next transmission.

See you in a while folks.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:43, Reply)
Good evening
I have had quite a lot of chocolate this evening.

So lets talk about JMG and his love of mimsy.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:48, Reply)
I'm so sorry
*pimps*

b3ta.com/questions/hell/post326259
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:50, Reply)
BAD Captain!

*smacks*

Naughty Captain, don't do that again.

*rubs nose in it*
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:51, Reply)
*rolls newspaper*
Thank god I'm working late alone tonight... Otherwise the whole office would think me a pervert.

How is everyone on this slightly moist evening?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:53, Reply)
Slighty moist
and with a tingling sensation.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:55, Reply)
Evenin Al & Captain V
A much better "I Love Horses" link is http://pown.it/251

* ignores comment about discussing JMG *
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:56, Reply)
@al
What are your thoughts on JMG and clunge?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:57, Reply)
Greetings PJM
The evening is moist as a moist thing. Hopefully, I won't end up with a wet bum when I get to the office.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:58, Reply)
I can't believe you fell for it PJM
*chuckle*

Oh Al that's so sexy. Rub my nose in it, harder, harder.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:00, Reply)
I was rubbing my nose in it
but I can rub your if you like.

I think JMG would like to one day see a clunge. But until that day he will make do with poor quality pornography.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:03, Reply)
*dances in*
Hello evening people. How are we all today?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:04, Reply)
Hello TGB
Am working... Late... Again...
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:06, Reply)
Evening TGB
Are you still happy and chirpy?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:06, Reply)
That sucks PJM *hugs*
And yes Al, yes I am *happies all over the thread*
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:07, Reply)
Greetings Badgerkins
I'm tired from staying up all night only for my QOTW story not to make it to the 'best of'.

I see from your boardsig you got the job. What sort of work is it?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:07, Reply)
@TGB
You've got a new job result haven't you?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:07, Reply)
I have yes :)
Start on the 12 Jan. It's admin based but I get to go to shows around the country too :) It sounds really exciting actually!

Dammit I accidentally left my chocolate on top of one of my external harddrives *cries*
*puts in fridge*
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:08, Reply)
Woo

*does a quick version of the "well done grammar badger" dance*

Right i'm off t'pub people.

Have a good night.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:10, Reply)
*gets out the mop*
*cleans up after badger*

Glad to see you're still all happy and excited.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:10, Reply)
Oh thanks V
that was probably a slip hazard :p

Can you clean up the chocolate too?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:11, Reply)
@Badgerkins
Woo Yay!

Nice one!

I notice that something good eventually happens to anyone who's on an Internet forum full of sensible and lovely people.

EDIT: See ya Al
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:11, Reply)
Badger!
Nice fucking sig you've got there, girl.
Woo!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:14, Reply)
Oh go on then, as it's you
*continues being subservient*

I think it says a lot about the quality of my (very few) qotw entires that the one I just posted has already made it into my best answers.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:15, Reply)
oooh Clendrix!
I have bought you a teeeeeeeny tiny present for your birthday and it's frankly the best thing ever!

And thanks :D
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:16, Reply)
You coming
on the 20th TGB?

*makes note of innuendo*
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:19, Reply)
I am yes,
I am going to try and be on slightly better behaviour :p
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:20, Reply)
Hello you bunch of monsters
How are you all tonight?

I'm grinning like a loon because I went and got cards today!

*Hugs for everyone*

EDIT PTHTHTHTHTTH Don't believe you Badger, and this tim you'll have to remember to get that drink I promised you!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:21, Reply)
Hurrah for teeny tiny present!
Hurrah for Badger being there on the 20th!

Boo hiss to good behaviour!

Seriously, well done on getting the job. When do you start?

Dok!
*hugs*
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:22, Reply)
Cards?
What kinda cards? You better not say the C word *scowls*
haha on the 12 Jan :)
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:22, Reply)
Yay that you're coming
boo for better behaviour. You wont catch me doing anything like that.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:23, Reply)
Hell no Badger
Special cards for special people!

Oh V that was bad that story by the way!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:24, Reply)
In all fairness
I will probably get wasted and get really naughty again and feel people up...
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:25, Reply)
Oh
Is that a promise, or are you just teasing?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:26, Reply)
bad Dok :p
I may rub your coat lots :p

In fact I may steal your coat
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:27, Reply)
I hope to be terribly naughty and drunk cos it'll be (almost) my birthday.
I imagine Kaol will behave in a similar fashion and we'll get arrested on the N29 home.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:27, Reply)
That sounds better badger
@Dok Yes I know but the idea just found it's way into my head and I felt obliged to post.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:27, Reply)
Greetings HDL
I don't do Christmas cards. "The season of Goodwill" should be year-round and not just the end of December.

Oh, and Woo Yay for Badger being there on the 20th. If the bash is the Woo, Badger is the Yay-sauce that gets spread on top!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:29, Reply)
I'll remember
to wear it then. But only so I get the stoking again! I may even wear the hat of owlness!

Oh and lil Kaol is doing good today he didn't stab me once!

Hi Spakka.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:31, Reply)
Re Clendrix and Kaol on the night bus
It's tempting to stalk follow them on the bus home just to watch their N29 arrest-worthy antics.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:32, Reply)
Then I'll stroke your hat as well :p
*wonders if Bert will show up again* He got the full naughty badger groping experience
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:32, Reply)
@TGB
Or you could just do the groping yourself this time.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:33, Reply)
Right I'm off
Have fun folks.

*blows kisses*
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:35, Reply)
Feel free to stalk, Spakkers.
I'm expecting a high level of dangerous fun. Again.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:35, Reply)
Your tax dollars hard at work
The EU (I.E. all you lot) just brought me dinner which any other day would have cost 45 Euros!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:38, Reply)
Badger
I forgot ro redeem my Badger Hugs token and it's rubbed off now :(

Drixy, I think you'll like my card, not sure about Kaols though, he's damn hard to find for!

EDIT Bill, I want my share back please! In blood!

EDIT 2 Dangerous Fun, that sounds like an invitation to me!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:38, Reply)
Dok,
Just buy him any old card and give it to him attached to some headless corpse with a large knife.

He'll love it.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:42, Reply)
But
That wouldn't be personal, It wouldn't say "I'm from Herr Doktor"! I only do personal cards.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:45, Reply)
then you should get one
from Moonpig!

*sings Mooooonpig*
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:46, Reply)
Do they do
Headless hooker cards then? I must have a look!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:47, Reply)
Ok Dok
you can have your .00000000904602602 of a euros worth of blood on the 20th, bring a glass slide Dexter style!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:49, Reply)
Will Do Bill
And I'll add it to my collection!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:51, Reply)
Mooooooooooon cup
OK Dok, fair enough.

You can design your own somehow, I'm sure :)
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:53, Reply)
Drixy
Moon cup! Don't be naughty now!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:54, Reply)
Heeeeelllooo again folks!
Just put another tale of woe up on QOTW.

Hope everyone is well this evening!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:56, Reply)
yo Pickleface
*huggles*
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:56, Reply)
Evening BK
How goes fella?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:58, Reply)
Hiya Badgerface!
*huggles back*

You still glowing from the good news?

Hey bill!

Just drinking wine and downloading loads of Talking Heads. Fucking adore 'Once in a Lifetime'! How's yourself?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:58, Reply)
*waves madly at Bill*
Yes I am! It's such a relief to know I have work and thus a paycheck!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 20:59, Reply)
Well that's confirmed...
I mentioned recently I signed up to do a standup gig. The date is confirmed as 11th May. Right then... any suggestions for material, and is it worth making it a bash?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:01, Reply)
May 11th is a Monday, isn't it?
Where is it going to be?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:03, Reply)
Leeds
And yes, it is. Mind you, my first attempt at standup.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:04, Reply)
@ PB
Where did you sign up?

I still intend to do it.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:05, Reply)
*Waves Madly Back*
*Hugs*

BK, I'm not bad, just sat in Brussels @ the EU hoping the broadcasts go OK for the rest of the week.

Apparantly I nearly got blown up earlier, not as much fun as it sounds:

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7777312.stm
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:06, Reply)
On the facebook group
And emailed Jim the owner. Here's the group, incidentally: www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=22390607914

And here is the gentleman you need to contact: www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=22390607914#/profile.php?id=520592370&ref=ts
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:09, Reply)
Bummer...
Leeds on that Monday night not do-able.

Mind you, I'll be up to visit one day. I'm staying with Beekers.*

*And thus, Beekers was informed...
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:10, Reply)
Clendrix you will be well
travelled :p

I have far too much excess energy *jumps all around the house*
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:10, Reply)
Badger
I'm lucky enough to have seen a few far-flung places, but I haven't been to that many places in the UK yet. I intend to use visit my b3ta friends to rectify this.

The irony that I have already been to Leam and Leeds is not lost on me.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:15, Reply)
*runs round singing*
"Badger's got a job, Badger's got a job"

*throws skirts over head and runs out*
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:15, Reply)
Greatest video game song ever?
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=VDBpQVhCMb8

I'm trying very hard not to laugh too loudly when I'm supposed to be working!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:16, Reply)
Badger's got a job?
Well that's one less dole bludging hoon...

(I jest Badger, love you really)
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:16, Reply)
Bill...
that bloke's got a lovely voice!

Shit, I like the song too!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:21, Reply)
I never
got any dole money. Don't worry I'm not stealing your hard earned tax money
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:21, Reply)
HA
My tax money is far from hard earned!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:24, Reply)
oh my
I think I love the Mario guy.

*dreams about him*
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:24, Reply)
@ Clenders!
OK, you are more than welcome. Just name a date:D
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:26, Reply)
I'm now listening to that guy's other stuff.

Beekers - yay! Let's get Shitmas out of the way and make some bloody plans!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:26, Reply)
Well, we might as well turn this into a bash
I will see about scoring some crash space for you guys as well. I can fit in a couple of three people I think. Sofa downstairs, airbed in the lounge, one in the spare room, I can fit three easy.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:28, Reply)
It's all of the win!
*Sings*

You can be Princess and I'll be Toad.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:29, Reply)
I love it
and I don't even know what he's going on about!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:30, Reply)
Piston
That's the day before my birthday as well!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:31, Reply)
@ clenders
How about coming up for the York bash?

@PB

Cheers fella, just messaged him with my email addy. 5 months, reckon I could come up with some decent material by then.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:32, Reply)
Evening all!
Talking of Mario, this one made me giggle earlier:

www.dailymotion.com/video/x7lni3_mario-kart-remi-gaillard_fun

It's a bloke playing Mario Kart for real around the streets of somewhere in France. Looks like Montpellier to me.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:33, Reply)
hehe
I'll follow behind you on rainbow road

It's brilliant! I do love him.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:33, Reply)
Beekers
I forgot about that one - I haven't ruled it out. I need to look at timings and funds etc.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:35, Reply)
Mario guy's cover
of "Out of Reach" made me cry a little. I love that song for all the wrong reasons and his version is even better.

*sniffles in the corner*

Duckie!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:36, Reply)
@ clenders
No worries, I can probably put a few folk up that night.

If you can't make that, we'll sort something else out.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:41, Reply)
Everlong...
yes.

Beekers, I'll get myself sorted and let you know asap.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:41, Reply)
Evening TGB!
Still on the new job high I see!

I'm hard at work(!) making some inappropriate mashups for my next DJing session. It's a great giggle...
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:42, Reply)
.
@Beek-Beek:
Here's a rap version of that Talking Heads song:
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=NgcC-bsWRVY

@Clendertronica:
Yes! Do come to the York Bash. It's going to be full of win! It would be nice to see some Southerners turn up to a Northern bash for a change.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:43, Reply)
I was distracted
by that Jasaon Mraz song. *secretly loves it*

And yes I bloody well am!

PLUS: Free meal on Saturday
MINUS: Have to spend time with my granddad *yucks*

The free meal is tempting though....
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:45, Reply)
It seems bashworthy to me...
BK would you do the honours please?

/Edit

Badger, is your granddad really that bad?

Incidentally, is this hellworthy- designing a website for a couple of escorts and giving serious thought to "payment in kind"?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:45, Reply)
he's a cunt
I don't get on with him at all. I won't bore you all with my dull family history though
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:48, Reply)
And I'm back
Good news for me - I should be driving again as soon as a letter comes through from the DVLA.

Seems that, even though the info I got from their website said otherwise, I can drive even though I've surrendered my license. I wish I'd asked when I'd get it back sooner now. Ah well.

:edit: PB all you've done is prove you're human. God, if that is his real name, can go fuck himself.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:48, Reply)
Oh dear...
I'm quite lucky in my grandparents I guess. The only thing is they won't stop feeding me when I go round- my grandmother is trying to turn me into a fatty!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:48, Reply)
@ PB
Yup, soon as we get a date sorted I'll calendar it!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:50, Reply)
I've asked if you can get on the same bill
I'm trying my best fella.

/Edit

Whilst I am here, I could do with some pointers, I have hit something of a creative block with the sodding main page. So if any of you happen to be a web designer...
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:51, Reply)
@ PB
No worries!

That'll be a good evening. Think we could get enough mates in who would laugh regardless!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:54, Reply)
Kaol?
Was this you?

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7777086.stm
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:55, Reply)
I'd be surprised
If a single one of us didn't kaol dunnit that when reading that story.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:56, Reply)
*sniggers*
I thought that, Mrs Bin. I could picture him laughing like a maniac in the audience.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:57, Reply)
@PB
Is it more a block with the content design, or with the layout?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:57, Reply)
Did Kaol
invent this?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 21:59, Reply)
Layout, to be honest
I have sorted where the links would go, and also where to bung the logo and the general layout, but I have bugger all idea what to do with the content.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:02, Reply)
I expect so Spakka
Although I would have expected more invasive surgery for the rodent involved.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:04, Reply)
Right Guys
Bath time.

Lets see if a hot bath will remove some of the gunk from my lungs.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:06, Reply)
Hi and Bye
Mrs L!

I'm getting told I have to go to bed soon as well :(
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:09, Reply)
Good luck with that bath Mrs L
Re rodent invasive surgery: I'm sure Kaol would have also given it a bigger cock given the chance.

@PB: If all the other stuff is in the sides/corners, how about putting the content in the middle?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:10, Reply)
PB
The Content goes between the body tags!

*Gave up on HTML design well before any of these fancy wysiwyg things, we had vi and liked it!*
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:13, Reply)
Ok Grandpa Bill :p
I am off to bed, catch you all later :)
x
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:14, Reply)
Night!
and less of the Grandpa young lady! ;-)
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:15, Reply)
Anybody left?
I'm nearly finished work for the day, finally. There is a beer in my very near future I think.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:47, Reply)
still here bill?
I'm heading off soon (almost midnight and I need to wake up at 7)

what do you that you're still working?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:49, Reply)
I work for a company that does video transmission over fibre optics
Today and tomorrow I'm on site at the EU summit in Brussels babysitting the equipment for 4 seperate news services hoping nothing goes wrong.

I'll be back here at 9 tomorrow for probably another 15 hour day!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 22:56, Reply)
sounds...fun
did you check that link I sent you?
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 23:00, Reply)
I did thanks
Very interesting.

It can be fun, sometimes it'd be nice to be home a little more often though.

The next 3 weeks look to be trips to Warsaw, back here and finally Moscow with brief stops back home in-between.

Unless anything else breaks in the mean time.

Edited for clarity

Back at the hotel now with a little can of Heineken before bed. Night all!
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 23:13, Reply)
well when you put it like that
maybe time for a career change - god knows i don't want to teach forever.

fuck knows what he was thinking - did you read about his brain? similar to an 80+ year-olds Alzheimer's patient. shame really - apparently he was the consummate professional, and I must admit, was one of my favourite.
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 23:24, Reply)
well
I'm offski. Early rise an all that

have fun
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 23:28, Reply)
Hello
I'm tired, having got in from work but an hour ago. I started just after 9...

I may have to go to bed. Maybe after another glass of wine though.

/is still in wind-down mode
(, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 23:50, Reply)

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