Morning.

( wanderlust, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 8:06, 255 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Good morning
Miss Lusty. How are you doing?

I'm all good and happy today.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 8:21, Reply)

I'm still in bed!
*glees*
( thealternativefact, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 8:23, Reply)

Morning sexy people
Clendrix! *glares*
( Captain V, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 8:25, Reply)

Morning K2k6
I'm ok.
Any particular reason for your happiness?

Hello clendrix and Captain! I want to be back in bed so much, budge over clendrix.
( wanderlust, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 8:25, Reply)

Hee-hee!
I'm about to get up, I promise :)
( thealternativefact, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 8:28, Reply)

Morning V, clendrix
I just seem to be all smiley today Lusty.

Just quite content with life at the moment.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 8:29, Reply)

Morning all
I'm feeling the effects of the whisky I drank last night.

I've come to work before I woke up properly, just got up, showered and drove here on autopilot and am now sitting in my office thinking 'why the fuck did I come in? I'm sure I decided last night I was going to sack work off and spend a day in bed'

I wish I had your happiness and optimism k2K6. My mood is more or less the exact opposite to yours, and I don't think it'll improve as the day wears on.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 8:30, Reply)

K2k6
I'm glad to hear it!
:)
( wanderlust, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 8:35, Reply)

Morning all
And what a fine Tuesday it is...
( snee held his breath since, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 8:37, Reply)

Morning all!
I'm waiting to be the first to post a new HSH thread, because I really want to put this in:



It tickles me, for some reason.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 8:37, Reply)

Morning all
It's ridiculously early in the morning, and the plumbers just arrived in my flat to finish fitting the boiler they started yesterday. We have large amounts of floor missing, and large amounts of noise. Fun.

My wisdom teeth also hurt many times.

I really should get up and do my work for the day.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 8:40, Reply)

PB
I can put that sign up now if you like.
( wanderlust, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 8:41, Reply)

Ooh yes please Lusty!
Very kind of you. Shame about your wisdom teeth poddy but it happens to the best of us.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 8:46, Reply)

@ning to you all
How is everybody today?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 8:47, Reply)

hullo Dok
Hmmmm it's gone a bit quiet already in here.
( wanderlust, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 8:54, Reply)

I still have my wisdom teeth
One is impacted, but the other three are OK.

Doesn't do that much for my wisdom though!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 8:55, Reply)

Very kind of you Lusty
Although I can see it raising a few eyebrows. I'll get that shopped into a smaller size when I get home.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:00, Reply)

Hi Lusty
It is a bit slow in here at the moment!

I wonder where everybody is, I bet they're all off having fun, not like us who are stuck at work!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:02, Reply)

I wish Dok
Although I am going go karting tonight =D
( Captain V, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:03, Reply)

I have to do a boring and tedious task tonight
I need to write Christmas cards. I don't like doing it. It's a really dull thing to do.

But I do it so I'm not perceived as a 'bah, humbug' type!

*sings*

There goes Mr Humbug
There goes Mr Grim
If they gave a prize for being mean
The winner would be him.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:06, Reply)

I'm here
Just been given a big tin of biscuits so was sidetracked by those.

My wisdom teeth fucking killed when they came through, I chewed off the flaps of skin as soon as I could, which after a short burst of extreme agony makes them far less painful!

Edit: Christmas cards (cards in general, in fact) are a waste of time, money and trees. I've got about 20 on my desk from work people, I've sent an email round saying I'm donating to charity instead, haven't decided which charity yet though.

All my real friends will either see me or get a phone call!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:06, Reply)

V
First dating, now karting! You lucky devil you.

K2, no xmas cards ever come from me, I don't do them ever!

Sam, I never had the slightesy problem with my wisdom teeth coming through, I must just have a big mouth!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:10, Reply)

Morning All
I have had no indication of wisdom teeth as yet. I'm 28. Is this normal?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:11, Reply)

Hi Boss
Some people never get them, mine didn't come through till I was in my mid 30's, and my brother got his in his mid 40's.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:14, Reply)

@BK
Don't worry, you'll grow up one day :)
( wanderlust, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:15, Reply)

I'm stuck in work as well
But I'm amusing myself by grossing out my colleagues. Little do they know though, I'm brewing a death fart...

*giggles*
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:15, Reply)

@BK
Some people's wisdom teeth take forever to appear. Three of mine came in within a week of each other when I was in my twenties. My dentist has suggested I should have them extracted because the impacted one may eventually decay and cause problems, but too many of my friends have experienced the agony of having them removed and that put me off!

So I figure I'll just wait until they do cause a problem, if they ever do, and suffer the consequences. It may never happen.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:16, Reply)

I was about 19 or 20
All mine came through within about 4 months of each other.

Fucking painful, be glad you haven't suffered it yet BK!

I'd like to point out that even though I have my wisdom teeth (and bald patches and grey hairs, for that matter), I do not under any circumstances consider myself to be grown up.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:22, Reply)

Ooh, thanks guys
I thought I was retarded in some way:p

@Lusty
You know I'll never grow up!

*edit*
@ Sam
I don't like the idea of that pain; finally put my name down for an NHS dentist in Leeds; haven't seen one for 10 years:s
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:22, Reply)

@BK
Like that there Michael Jackson?

Are you going to be some kind of man-child forever?
( wanderlust, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:25, Reply)

@ BK
Be careful what you say, some bastard's always going to take the piss.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:25, Reply)

Wooo
*runs around the day thread naked*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:25, Reply)

Dentists scare the living shit out of me
I'd rather have pain from the holes in my teeth and the filling that's fallen out and taken half a tooth with it, than go and see a dentist. I have even removed one of my own teeth rather than go to a dentist, home DIY surgery FTW. Probably getting on for ten years since I've been to one as well.

*photographs naked badger for future blackmail/get rich quick scheme purposes*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:26, Reply)

I doubt
anyone would want pictures of me naked.

Is it Friday yet?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:29, Reply)

*stares at naked badger*
*stops working*
( Captain V, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:29, Reply)

Hey Badgerface!
*huggles*

*approves of nudity*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:29, Reply)

I reckon there'd be a few b3tans willing to pay for them
Nope, sadly it's not Friday yet. I have 8 cigarettes and 1/3 of a bottle of scotch to last me until then, cos it's payday again. Hopefully I'll manage to hang onto my wages for more than a week this time!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:30, Reply)

Pickleface!
*naked huggles*

V get back to work :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:31, Reply)

This is work!
Or something...

I've just realised I left my mp3 player at home. Today is going to be hell =[
( Captain V, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:33, Reply)

My fuckin' tooth is broken.
Was sitting watching The Mighty Boosh last night, chewing on some gum, and suddenly it all felt a bit weird.
Then I realised that the crown on one of my teeth had broken off.
Then I realised that poking it with my tongue was a bad idea, as the taste of blood filled my mouth. Damn sharp bits!

So I phoned the dentist, and I've got an appointment at 11:50 tomorrow.
Which isn't bad really.
But it's gonna cost money to fix, which is rubbish just before Christmas.

So, someone cheer me up, you have five minutes.
( Cawl, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:33, Reply)

*hands Kaol a hooker and a knife*
You get to sse me Saturday! Woo if that isn't a reason to cheer up I don't know what is!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:35, Reply)

@ Kaol
I would have thought a dancing, naked Badger would be pre-emptive cheering up.

No pleasing some people!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:35, Reply)

Woo!
BK's sig has cheered me up the most :D
*puts iPod on*

But yep, seeing TGB is certainly something to look forward to :D

EDIT: I get to "sse" you on Saturday? I hope that's as fun as it sounds...
( Cawl, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:36, Reply)

I would try and empathise and cheer you up
But you did pay to go and see the Mighty Boosh, so I feel that on some level you seem to have deserved the pain. Karma!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:37, Reply)

Westboro Baptist Church?
Interesting choice
( le brian, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:38, Reply)

Well,
If it helps, I got the tickets cheap...

I think the tooth-thing was karma for my cancer-story that I put on QOTW.
( Cawl, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:39, Reply)

@ Kaol
Yeah, I was having some Monster Magnet nostalgia last night:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:39, Reply)

:p
sseing me is always fun ;)

Although I am scared as to what you think that sounds like it would be!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:40, Reply)

TGB
Your sentence has broken my mind ='[
( Captain V, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:42, Reply)

You'd have to pay me quite a lot of money to go and see the Mighty Boosh
I'd rather go to Lidl, it's certainly funnier.

I don't know what you're on about either badger!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:45, Reply)

People rarely do
it's how I get away with so much ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:46, Reply)

Maybe she's drunk
It'd explain the nudity.

Perhaps if we get her drunk on Saturday...
( Captain V, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:46, Reply)

Badger
I think every male here would wholeheartedly approve of nudity. Some may offer to join in.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:46, Reply)

I've joined in already!
I'm getting funny looks in the office though
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:48, Reply)

Fair enough Sam :p
I still love you, even if we like different things :p

EDIT: Although I find if I'm feeling down, just walking around Asda makes me feel way better. Looking at the other people, thinking "At least I'm not them".
( Cawl, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:49, Reply)

I love you too
I'll allow you the occasional bit of bad taste, long as you keep up the serial killin'...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:50, Reply)

Certainly!
I'm goin' to London this afternoon.
There will be blood.
( Cawl, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:51, Reply)

*gets dressed*
After the recent shirt buttons story I am only getting naked now when I am by myself in a locked room. No more public nakedness
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:52, Reply)

Awh, poor TGB!
According to the guy I share an office with, I'm "dressed like a right proper emo today".
:|
I didn't think I was.
Dammit!
( Cawl, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:57, Reply)

Damn!
Had to have a phone conversation there and I've missed TGB in the nuddy!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 9:59, Reply)

emo kaol emo kaol emo kaol
*dances around*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:01, Reply)

*joins in the dance*

Emo Kaol! Emo Kaol!

*wiggles bottom*
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:02, Reply)

*shakes fist*
Damn you TGB!
Damn you Al!

*cries*

*writes a song about it*
( Cawl, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:02, Reply)

*dances with Al*
This could easily be Christmas number one
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:04, Reply)

I'm back
The buggers made me go out of my nice warm office into the cold! Brrrrrr.

Dagnabit I missed the naked badger again!

Hello and *hugs* to all the late arrivers.

Badger, there was a good thing that came out of me going out in the cold, I have something for you. It'll complement the nudity perfectly!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:11, Reply)

Anything
Would be better than the turgid shite out there at the moment.

*mutters threats against the lives of the One Show hosts, Terry Wogan and Status Quo*
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:12, Reply)

Christ, it smells of emo crap in here, this morning.
I assume Kaol's around somewhere.

The rest of you - ROCK ON! Let's all do even less work than normal.
( thealternativefact, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:13, Reply)

Yay!
I like that plan, clendrix!

*flexes*

*regrets immediately as fucked muscles argue*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:14, Reply)

morning folks
how are we?

minor food poisoning in the Vipros household yesterday. not fun.

damn prawns
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:14, Reply)

But, clendrix
if I were to do less work than normal, I'd be doing less than nothing*.

Anti-work, if you will. Which would annihilate in a burst of gamma radiation if it came into contact with actual work.




*Only joking, if my employer is reading this,
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:15, Reply)

Work!
How dare you use that word in my company young lady!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:15, Reply)

Gamma Radiation?
*strips off*
*awaits Super-Powers*
( Cawl, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:16, Reply)

Ooh new people
*rumages in their bags and pockets*

*finds some smokes and a lot of fluff*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:17, Reply)

WWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKKKK
That was for you, Dok. You probably ought to do a bit or you'll get sacked.
( thealternativefact, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:17, Reply)

What's work?
It's my bosses birthday today, she bought us pasties and cream cakes! And I've also been given a tin of biscuits, two packets of Hob Nobs and a packet of mini rolls today, doing pretty well.

I'll try not to over sugar myself into a diabetic coma, but it looks like it'll be a challenge.

clendrix if I move to London will you give me a job? I'm dead hard working, honest.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:19, Reply)

Me? Sacked?
I doubt it!

I manage to do just the right amount of nothing, while looking busy.

EDIT What's this hand doing in my pocket? Oh it's just Badger. Want a smoke?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:20, Reply)

*pops in*
So, so far this morning I have watched the season finale of Heroes, not had anything to eat due to the plumbers in the kitchen, and written a few hundred words of an essay. Go me.

Can I have some of your sugary treats please, Sam?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:20, Reply)

Emo Kaol! - a sure fire christmas number one.

Emo Kaol!
He's dressed all in black,
Emo Kaol!
He's on the attack,
Emo Kaol!
He's got a big sharp knife,
Emo Kaol!
He's gonna gut your wife.

Sitting in his hole
drinking whiskey from a bowl
keeps his cider in his socks
and his knives inside a block

he's moping all around
'cause the world has brung him down
so he drinks a little more
and has a dance around the floor.


Emo Kaol!
He's dressed all in black,
Emo Kaol!
He's on the attack,
Emo Kaol!
He's got a big sharp knife,
Emo Kaol!
He's gonna gut your wife.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:21, Reply)

Sam,
you'd bloody love working for me. My management style is: erm, yeh, just get on with your work and try not to bother me, eh?

If I had a job for you that wouldn't drive you crazy, I'd employ you :)
( thealternativefact, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:23, Reply)

Al...
I think I love you...
*swoons*
( Cawl, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:23, Reply)

morning
I was a bit naked this morning and my wisdom tooth is driving me nuts - can I play please?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:23, Reply)

*glees*
I think I love you a bit Al!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:23, Reply)

Morning Tulip
*huggles*

How are you today?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:25, Reply)

Yay, Tulip!
Join the wisdom tooth hating crowd. Actually, I think it's just me just now, so you can make it more crowd based.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:25, Reply)

@HLT
Only a bit naked? Total nudity would be preferable.

Good morning, by the way. :)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:25, Reply)

I thought I hated wisdom teeth
but it turned out to be a normal tooth with a nasty gum infection and a course of anti-biotics sorted it out.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:26, Reply)

Morning Tulip
How can one be a bit naked? Surely it's naked or not!

*hugs*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:27, Reply)

'lo BK, Pod, Kdk6 et al
*huge sleepy hugs*

By a bit naked I mean completely naked for a little bit whilst I had my shower.

I hope that clears everything up for you.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:27, Reply)

Rubbish HLT! And hi!
(edit: I mean wisdom teeth are rubbish, not nudity)

clendrix that sounds like exactly the management style I need, anything authoritarian just makes me want to stick it to the man like the 60s revolutionaries I model myself on. Or something.

I've got used to the idea it'll have to be a shit job, but I'm working on the theory that a shit job in London will be one stage better than a shit job in a shit place, which is where I'm at now.

You can hire me to do everything, even including making all the tea, it'll only cost you £57k +bonus +car +BUPA, quite fair I think!

Dok - that is the secret, definitely! Looking really really busy when someone gives you something to do means you can look well impressive when you knock off b3ta for 15 minutes in the afternoon and finish the job. Of course time taken to do the job is inversely proportional to the seniority of the person who gives you the work.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:32, Reply)

'Kay Tulip
That's cleared it up fine thanks!

I know how to stop a wisdom tooth hurting. Copious amounts of alcohol!

*hands out booze to everybody*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:32, Reply)

Sam, sounds reasonable...
I will, of course, be able to see you slagging me off on b3ta though ('My fucking boss...' etc.).
( thealternativefact, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:33, Reply)

I'm glad tulip
was totally naked in the shower, I wouldn't like to think of her little shorts getting wet.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:33, Reply)

Well I'm not naked
I've got this lovely new hat with THREAD KILLER written on it.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:40, Reply)

Urgh
I'm actually falling asleep at my desk. Getting through today is going to be very hard!
( Captain V, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:41, Reply)

thanks for the booze Dok
*guzzles*

ooh, my toothypeg is all better, woo!

can we just clear something up please? exactly how long does the thread have to go quiet before we can proclaim Al the Threadkiller and plonk the hat on his head?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:41, Reply)

I normally
work on the 10 minute threadkill rule
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:44, Reply)

More than 7 minutes, Tulip
Sam, would you like a job typing up essays for me? No? Oh well, back to it then. Only 2500 words to go!
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:44, Reply)

7 minutes, by the look of it
I think the threadkiller time varies depending on the person, and their eagerness to wear the hat.

clendrix - sound, gaz me an application form then! :P

I promise not to slag off my boss on b3ta, I'm sure there's plenty of other staff to provide comedy anecdotes...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:44, Reply)

Eight minutes
is quite a long time in thread terms.

It's MY hat and you can't have it Tulip.

*holds hat on head*
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:44, Reply)

Al
I'll make sure she doesn't steal it!

*nails hat to Als head*

There you go.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:47, Reply)

Sam,
if a job comes up, I'll let you know.

Plenty to laugh at around here, but not as much as when I worked in a history department - full of bimbling old farts.
( thealternativefact, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:51, Reply)

Hmmmm
this hat has suddenly got a bit itchy.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:51, Reply)

*scratches Al*

( thealternativefact, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:54, Reply)

*swoops in*
*steals Al's hat*

*eats it*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:58, Reply)

@clendrix
I work with scientists, who are not renowned for their sartorial elegance, but I'd imagine historians are probably worse.

Was there an abundance of woolly jumpers, tweed jackets, unkempt facial hair and pipe smoking, by any chance? Or am I just stereotyping for the sake of it?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:00, Reply)

ningles all!

Good morrow onto thee, gorgeousness!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:00, Reply)

Morning
Does it still count as morning?

I've had to put a load of people on ignore.

What I want to know is that if these guys are so busy having sex with girls and not living with their mums, why do they spend so much time bothering us.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:02, Reply)

Morning all
Good morning Mr Flake.

I really enjoyed your verse, excellent stuff.

I've also just improved my internet experience by 750% this morning by judicious use of "ignore". Works a treat!

How is everyone?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:02, Reply)

I've only got a couple of people on ignore...
Because I'm weak like that.

Much as I loathe their collective cuntishness...I don't want to miss out on anything :(

EDIT: *waves at PJM*

Thanks for your kind words...the problem is I can't get the pissing 'Knock-off Nigel' tune out of my head now...
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:03, Reply)

@ Hey Pooflake, Mrs L, PJM
Top, top poem Mr. Lake!

I'm debating whether to ask if I can go home for judicious application of Lemsip and Vicks.

*ills*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:04, Reply)

K2k6
What terrible stereotyping! How could you just wheel out those old cliches?

Yes, you are correct on all counts. Really.
( thealternativefact, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:05, Reply)

Morning Poof 'n' PJM
*waves*

I've got nobody on ignore.
Apart from wellgroomedwookiee, for obvious reasons.
( Cawl, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:05, Reply)

Some of them are funny
The pictures they posted last night were hilarious.

However, it's a safe bet that 75% of their posts are either trolling or just obscure /talk humour. I figured that it's easier just to ignore.

BTW, can I pimp my QOTW entry this week?

www.b3ta.com/questions/hell/post327561
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:06, Reply)

Yeah,
that wookie is a total cunt. He ruins b3ta for the rest of us. I heard he had sex with Baby P too.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:06, Reply)

Kaol,
That's because we ignore him IRL too.
( thealternativefact, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:07, Reply)

I don't ignore anyone on here
I'm too paranoid that they'll actually say something funny, and I'll miss it.

Also all the replies get confusing if you don't know what they're in reply to...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:07, Reply)

*Rubs Vicks into BK's Chest*

I am so poorly bad that I even relented from drinking last night in an effort to boost my shot-to-shit immunity system.

The last time I had a night off was something like 1989...I call it 'Black Thursday'
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:08, Reply)

What's up...
...with wookie?

Excuse my ignorance and all.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:08, Reply)

Wookiee?
He's a bloody deviant. He says bad things to good people.
( thealternativefact, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:08, Reply)

Is this humour or for real?
He seemed okay to me...
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:09, Reply)

@ PJM
I loved that story!

Here's a last ditch pimp for mine too. It's been sat as my third most popular for 5 days now, I want to see if I can nudge it past the 'cheese incident'

www.b3ta.com/questions/hell/post325578
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:10, Reply)

He touches young girls
in a bad place.




He touches them in Slough.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:10, Reply)

Haha!
He's lovely, we're just taking the piss...
( Cawl, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:10, Reply)

Haaaaaaaaaa!
Wookiee is very bad news indeed.

Or he could be my favourite little b3tan. I'm not sure...
( thealternativefact, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:11, Reply)

Awwww bless PJM
it's not real. He's all nice and fuzzy in real life.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:11, Reply)

Glad to hear that!
He seemed like a nice bloke to me!

Nice story BK, I like your style.

How is Al this morning?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:11, Reply)

BK
How do you know it's third now that /all has gone?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:12, Reply)

I love that we could have swayed PJM to doubt though...
Hey PJM, Al is a dog-sucking mutant with excessive pubic hair.
( thealternativefact, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:13, Reply)

@Mrs Bin
He means third in his best of in his profile.
( Captain V, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:13, Reply)

@ Mrs L
Third most popular in my profile.

Don't think I'm ever going to beat the Fruit one.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:13, Reply)

@Clendrix
I've met Al. I consider those points to be endearing.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:14, Reply)

Stuff still moves up your profile page Mrs Bin
It's like your own personal /all page spanning all the QOTWs you answered.

When I first signed up I didn't realise the Best page when the QOTW closed was ranked in order of votes, it took me ages to realise I'd come top of the first QOTW I entered!

Don't think I'll reach those heady heights again though...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:14, Reply)

Oh I see
I do miss /all. I hope we get it back some day.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:14, Reply)

@clendrix
Thank you for confirming my stereotypessuspicions!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:15, Reply)

I'm just ruthlessly pimping it
I'll go to hell, but I want teh win again this week.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:15, Reply)

*pushes pubic hair out of the way of the keyboard*

I is good thankyou PJM. Your mrs sent me a very funny text about dressing like a dominatrix the other day. You lucky thing!
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:15, Reply)

PJM...
Erm, yes I have to agree actually. Damnit!
( thealternativefact, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:15, Reply)

@ PJM
I think you're on for the win this week:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:16, Reply)

Awwww, there's post whoring...

and I missed it!

My disabled shite one has gone to (ironically) 'Number 2' in my profile.

That's normally quite a good sign.

My hopes aren't high though - I've only won once...

*cries*

*crosses fingers*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:17, Reply)

But Drixy
I thought I was your favourite.

*crys*

Two of my posts this week are at number 2 and 3 on my profile, they just keep swapping positions!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:18, Reply)

Hahaha
Hahaha, some of the messages she got back were hilarious.

She took it in good humour though.

As did I.

Well I had to really, I was wearing a leather mask with a zip down the front at the time.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:18, Reply)

Dok
You are, without doubt, my favourite Scot working within a mile of me :)
( thealternativefact, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:23, Reply)

@Flake
Have you really only won once?

That's a travesty. Every single time you post it makes the "Best Of" page.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:26, Reply)

Every single time you postwank it makes the "Best Of" pagemy mouth water
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:28, Reply)

Drixy
I may be the only Scot you know working within a mile of you!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:28, Reply)

I've not had a "best of" in ages.
Think I've lost my skills.

Or I spent too much time on Off Topic...
( Cawl, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:29, Reply)

I managed
to get on the best of page with my first post!

Woohoo
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:30, Reply)

@clendrix
Where do you work? You probably told me at the bash, but I was a tad, erm...
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:30, Reply)

a tad, erm...masturbating in the toilets
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:31, Reply)

PJM
I work in central London, not too far from Euston.

Dok, doesn't matter if they're all Scots! And what a charming sig...
( thealternativefact, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:31, Reply)

Oh Al...
...I thought I was being discrete!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:32, Reply)

@ Herr Dok
Warren Zevon - Excitable Boy?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:33, Reply)

Boss, nice one.
That it be!

Woohoo Drixy likes me.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:36, Reply)

@PJM...

Yep, only won the once...*sigh*

and that was cocking yonks ago. (insults)

Second and Third place shedloads of times...

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:37, Reply)

@Flake
What you need is a good story about poo....

*Chortles*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:38, Reply)

You look good
in a bridesmaids dress though pooflake
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:39, Reply)

Aah BK!
I guessed it was Warren Zevon, but you'd answered by the time I looked at it!

Mine won't be too hard to figure out for anyone who was in the evening thread last night...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:41, Reply)

@ Poof
I'm surprised you've only won once.

@Sam

Is it that Tom Waits one. Shore Leave?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:42, Reply)

My poo stories are like buses...

Another corker happened yesterday but nobody would believe it happened so soon after the last one.

I might have to put it on hold...

@Al, I look good in any dress...

Oh, hang on...
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:43, Reply)

Ah, Mr. Poof,
I see they're talking about our Winners Club again.

*offers champagne*
( Cawl, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:45, Reply)

*drinks champagne*

*starts lurgee off again*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:46, Reply)

50% correct, BK
A more recent one than Shore Leave. Did you download that and listen to it? Bloody brilliant song.

I'm starting to get a bit concerned by the fact I haven't listened to anything apart from Tom Waits (well, maybe a bit of Nick Cave, but that's the same ballpark) for about a week now. It's what I feel like listening to though!

Edit: can I be in the winner's (?? winners' ?? I think we had this argument a couple of weeks ago) club as well? I tried to order something from Amazon the other day and it still won't let me.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:46, Reply)

@ Sam
I downloaded it, but haven't listened to it yet.

I got Neighbourhood down too which is great as well.

and Nick Cave FTW!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:47, Reply)

Grinderman!
LOVE!
( thealternativefact, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:51, Reply)

Sam,
You can indeed be in the Winner Club.
I've just gotta implant this smug-glad into your brain though...
*meat noises*
( Cawl, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:51, Reply)

^Ha! Kaol wimped out and put Winner Club.
Winners' Club.
( thealternativefact, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:52, Reply)

@ clenders
No Pussy Blues!

"I thought I'd try another tack/
I drank a litre of Cognac/
I threw her down upon her back/
But still she just didn't want to."

great track:)

@ Kaol

Do I get champagne too then?
*has won*
*smugs*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:53, Reply)

What about just Win Club
The first rule of Win Club... I'm sure you can guess the rest.

Grinderman are fucking brilliant! I haven't got the new Seasick Steve album yet, they're featured on that. And working on a new album. And a new Bad Seeds album next year apparently...

Edit: BK, No Pussy Blues is the best song on the album, apart from maybe Depth Charge Ethel. Also it's quite appropriate at the moment!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:54, Reply)

I love Nick Cave
His songs are so much fun to sing :D

EDIT: WIN CLUB for the win.
That's awesome!

Welcome BK!
( Cawl, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:54, Reply)

@ Kaol
Your voice would suit his songs I think!

I can impersonate Tom Waits but it hurts too much:(
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:55, Reply)

Kaol's voice is fucking brilliant...

And don't get me started on his 'Ring Of Fire'...

Oh, I didn't mean it like that...



or did I?
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:59, Reply)

Of course you bloody did Pooflake

( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:01, Reply)

*blushes*
Thanks Poof!
( Cawl, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:01, Reply)

I saw Grinderman in Brixton.
Fucking great.
And yes, Depth Charge Ethel ftw.
( thealternativefact, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:03, Reply)

Snurk, snurk

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:04, Reply)

Pooflake
We know just what you meant!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:06, Reply)

Howdy
Hello everyone!

Been absent a few days, so here's what I've been up to:

* Had the work's xmas do.
* Caught the fever/flu thing.
* Stayed in bed all weekend.
* Drove to London last night to pick up a drum kit.
* Got stuck on the M40 coming back, had to take a detour through the Cotswolds in thick fog.
* Am still feeling rough, but can't take time off work due to caseload.

Which brings me to now, the first moment today i've been able to get onto b3ta. How are the rest of you beautiful people?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:08, Reply)

Depth Charge Ethel
Sounds like something from one of Pooflake's stories this week!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:08, Reply)

*runs in*
*snogs pooflake*
*runs out*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:08, Reply)

Hey Lab
*hugs*

Yup, I've dragged myself in feeling shit too.
Far too busy, yet as usual, haven't budged from here all morning.

Ah well.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:09, Reply)

Hi Lab
Woohoo for getting your drums, Boohoo for all of the crap stuff!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:11, Reply)

Morning Lab, sounds like you've been busy
Is your new kit anything interesting?

(I have slight drum geek tendencies, amongst my many other geeky tendencies...)
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:11, Reply)

*runs back in*
*goes to snog lab*

Wait are you still ill? I don't want to catch it again....

*snogs you anyways*
*runs back out*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:13, Reply)

Hi there BK, Dokk and Sam!
I'm just about to start learning to play the drums, so picked myself up a 2nd hand Alesis DM5Pro for not much cash.

Due to the traffic last night, I wasn't able to have a bash on it before bed, but I'll get it properly set up tonight.

Edit: Woo! Two posts and I've killed the thread. I'm efficient. *dons the hat and sulks*

Double Edit: BK saved me! *throws the hat away*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:13, Reply)

@ Lab
I'd love a decent 2nd hand kit to start playing again.

Last time I played was a botu two years ago and I was just rusty and shit:s

*sulks*

Now I've got the hat:s
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:21, Reply)

Is it pub time yet?
I need a large gin!
( wanderlust, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:30, Reply)

*gives Lusty a bucket of gin*
And a big snog
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:32, Reply)

is it wanderlust time yet?
I need a large motorboat.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:32, Reply)

Not yet :p
But I could go for a double JD and some ice...
Mmmm...
( Cawl, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:33, Reply)

Thanks TGB!
Just what I needed.
This has been the slowest morning ever! I think I'm going to have to buy love it magazine on my break to make myself feel better.

*pushes boobs together for al*
Jump in then!
( wanderlust, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:33, Reply)

Years
That's how long since I touched a drum kit, so long in fact that electronic drums hadn't even been invented!

I will be shit now, and I know it!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:34, Reply)

Can we all stop talking about alcomahol please...?

I'm trying to abstain in an effort to get over this cold in time for Saturday's gig...

*opens floodgates*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:34, Reply)

*waves*
Bye!
I'm going now!
( Cawl, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:36, Reply)

Bye bye Kaol
*waves*
( wanderlust, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:41, Reply)

Hello Lusty
Computer glitch sorted now?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:42, Reply)

BK
Nopes, but I've stopped caring.

If certain people here are going to be cunts, then so am I.

What's the worst they can do? Sack me?

*laughs*

2 minutes til I become a thread killer.
*cries*
*looks for hat*

Edit:
*sads*
I'll just go do someonething else then.
( wanderlust, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:45, Reply)

*Jumps under lusty in the nick of time*

( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:52, Reply)

Oh al!
You hero.

*licks*
( wanderlust, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:55, Reply)

Really Dok?
Even the Simmons? There were earlier kits than that as well but they were horrendously expensive, electronic drums have been around since the early 70s though. Or are you even older than I thought? :P

/is retro synth/electronic music kit geek as well
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:56, Reply)

oh noes!
if lusty has gone, then i'm just lying on the floor with an erection.

edit - oh she's still here. It's okay then.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:56, Reply)

I'll just put
this hat over my erection so it's not as obvious.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 13:02, Reply)

Sam you're forgetting
Dok remembers when Michael Jackson was black =p
( Captain V, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 13:03, Reply)

This even predates Jacko's whitening!

(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 13:05, Reply)

He even remembers
when Des O'Connor was white!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 13:08, Reply)

@al
You know how every school has a kid who was caught wanking in the library or the bogs? Were you that kid in your school?
( wanderlust, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 13:16, Reply)

I read that as 'the library in the bogs'
and thought 'what the fuck sort of posh school did you go to?!'
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 13:19, Reply)

@ Sam
Yeah, there was nothing worse than a vellum-bound edition of Shakespeare's First Folio with it's pages stuck together.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 13:22, Reply)

The main story in Love it is
My daughter killed my lover and wanted to eat him.


No matter how bad my life gets, it'll never be as bad as that...I hope.
( wanderlust, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 13:27, Reply)

Well
The last time I hit a drum in anger was about 1975!

K2 Des was never white, he's always been a lovely shade of orange!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 13:28, Reply)

@ Lusty
Was her lover a rabbit?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 13:29, Reply)

@Bk
Nopes, just an abusive drunk.
My favourite kind of lover as it goes.
( wanderlust, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 13:34, Reply)

Or
A rampant Rabbit?

Yeah I know it's plastic and silicon, but I'm sure if you were hungry enough!

EDIT Pass the hat please!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 13:34, Reply)

@ Lusty
Was she upset that her daughter killed him then?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 13:35, Reply)

Lusty...

You're gonna lurve me then :)
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 13:36, Reply)

@Bk
Yeah she seems pretty gutted that her daughter stabbed her boyfriend in the stomach and watched him bleed to death all over the kitchen lino. Still, she's got another 6 kids so one in prison isn't so bad I guess.
( wanderlust, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 13:44, Reply)

Reading chav trash magazines like that
is one of my guilty pleasures. Always find them lying round my house.

'My husband ran off with an alien' etc, brilliant!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 13:48, Reply)

my favourite stories
are middle aged women who go on holiday to Turkey, fall in love with a 19 year old barman, leave their husbands and wonder what went wrong when they find out all of their savings have gone and their new love is actually shagging someone closer to his age.
( wanderlust, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 13:59, Reply)

'It was true love'
So I had no problem in transferring my life savings to a joint account in mine and Stelios' name. I can't understand what happened to it all!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 14:04, Reply)

I was never caught wanking in the bogs
but another guy at school was, and not in the cubicle, but just into the washbasin.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 14:11, Reply)

@lusty
If the converse were to happen to me (were I to fall for a Turkish barmaid or whatever) my bank account would still be safe.

A Scotsman and his money are not easily parted...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 14:11, Reply)

Shat! Magazine
I find them lurking in chickenlady's bathroom at times. Apparently they belong to chickenlady's mum who buys them for the quizzes.

What gets me is the belming faces of the participants, gaudily pictured next to humiliating stories like:

"My daughter ate my gibbon!"
"I have six bottoms!"
"I once voted Labour!"

It's almost like they're proud.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 16 Dec 2008, 14:15, Reply)

Ohhh another good one.
In bold print too, so you know it's going to be dramatic.

My baby survived an ABORTION
( wanderlust, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 14:20, Reply)

Noon all
what's the topic of discussion for this afternoon?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 14:22, Reply)

Hi becks
I think today we've covered nudity, wisdom teeth, Nick Cave, wanking, drum kits, and magazines for chavs.

Take your pick!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 14:24, Reply)

If that was about Baby P
then that's some sort of sweet irony isn't it.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 14:29, Reply)

I'll go for the teeth I guess
as I helped with a dental this morning and we've got two more this afternoon. I also met my nemesis in dog form and she was sweet as pie. Guess she must be getting better :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 14:30, Reply)

OMMFJCFG!!!!!!!!
AC/DC are playing at Wembley Stadium in June!

WOOOOO!!! I may get to see them twice in one year!
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 14:30, Reply)

Hi Becky!
You have a nemesis in dog form?

I wonder if you can have a nemesis in each species...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 14:37, Reply)

*whistles*

*passes hat with special mohawk hole along the top*
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 14:45, Reply)

Goddamnit
*puts on the hat, making sure the mo pops through*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 14:49, Reply)

*sprays extra hair spray to ensure Mo is extra spikey*

( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 14:51, Reply)

*eats doughnut*
*sits in shoe*

*makes inappropriate use of stars asterisks*
( Captain V, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 14:53, Reply)

Al
Are you sure that's hairspray?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 14:55, Reply)

Dammit!
Why would they make "jizz in a can" with the exact same packaging as "mohawk hair spray".
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 14:58, Reply)

An accident indeed
Now I know why you tattood your cock to look like a can of hairspray.

Edit: *Burns the thread down and dances in the fire*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 14:59, Reply)

Teehee!
Baileys in your coffee mug at work looks just like coffee!

*hic*

Edit - someone just gave me some for Chrimbo and I was having a shit day...
I'm not really an alkie.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 15:15, Reply)

And the thread comes back to life!
Hi misspiggy, not sure if we've met.

Embrace your inner alcoholic.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 15:18, Reply)

Hi Sam offspring.
I mostly lurk but post occaisionally.
I have met many of these good people.

I just really don't want to be at work.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 15:20, Reply)

Oh no!
Did I kill the thread?
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 15:22, Reply)

Amen to that sister
*makes appropriate hand gesture*

*bumps bottoms*
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 15:22, Reply)

*waves at Miss Piggy*
Hello dearie!

How are you, apart from having work grumpies?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 15:23, Reply)

It's been on its last legs for a while I think
I don't want to be at work either, that's why they call it work though I suppose...

Only an hour and a half left now though!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 15:24, Reply)

Hi Al, hi BK!
How are you goodly peoples?

*does the one more hour left dance*
*sighs*
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 15:25, Reply)

I blame our employers
They give us work to do this close to xmas!

Hi MissP *hugs*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 15:27, Reply)

@ MP
Not too bad, seem to have got slightly better through the day. Had a proper lurgey dose this morning.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 15:27, Reply)

I'm "writing a report"
luckily, said report is a carbon copy of a report I wrote last month.

So I'm reading "Cyanide and Happiness" it's very funny.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 15:28, Reply)

I sympathise BK
I am just recovering from said lurgey. It was vile.

Hi Dok - good hug!

Can I have another?
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 15:28, Reply)

Must do what B3taladies tell me
of course you can.

*HUGS*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 15:32, Reply)

I am sat at work
Writing huge numbers of cheques I have no money to cover (the business, not me personally). I will have to take them all home with me on Friday and send them in dribs and drabs over the holiday.

But the good news is I finish Friday for two whole weeks! Yay!!

Is anyone going anywhere interesting for Christmas or New Year?
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 15:35, Reply)

@ MP
well, mine is of the 'man' strain so I'm sure I'll be fine soon:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 15:35, Reply)

Write cheques for the full amounts you owe people
And then post them to the wrong companies.

e.g. send company A's cheque to B, B's to C, C to A.

Obviously they won't be able to cash them as they're made out to the wrong company, so they won't find out the cheques will bounce anyway. Apologise profusely for your/your secretary's errors, and say that you're terribly sorry but you can't issue new cheques until you've had all the incorrect ones ripped into pieces and returned.

Not a viable long term plan, but it should buy you a week or two without looking like the sort of person that doesn't pay their bills.

_{(Sam: Disseminating highly suspect financial advice on internet forums since 1997)}
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 15:38, Reply)

@ Sam
Haven't tried that one yet!

Hmmmmm
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 15:40, Reply)

Oh Sam
That's such suspect advice!

MissP Yay for finishing on Friday. All the best people will be finishing then, and by that I mean me!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 15:40, Reply)

I did say it was suspect....!
I have done it on a personal level myself, and it did work.

Looks like we've got a new thread, anyway
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 15:41, Reply)

Time for a new one of these I think

( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 15:41, Reply)