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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Start the year as you mean to go on...
ignoring work, hanging around in today's Home Sweet Home.


(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 7:58, 304 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Good morning.
I'm the first in the office again today which is good as I was 35 minutes late.

It's my last week in this hell hole! Woop!

Edit: How rude of me. Are you well? Good weekend?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 8:12, Reply)
*cheers*
Morning lusty!

My office is cold and likewise no company - the gas ran out and all the drivers are keeping warm in their cars!

Good weekend?
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 8:16, Reply)
Boooo to the cold!
Did you get snow this morning?

My weekend was ace! I went up to see BK. We drank cider and loads of tea, watched a few films and ate moussaka which was all of them nom.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 8:20, Reply)
Yeah, we got about 1cm of snow
which is a bit pissy - either snow properly or not at all! *shakes fist*

Glad you had a good one. I spent almost the entire weekend playing Fallout 3 - my Freeview box went pop a week before xmas, I've replaced it but now the aerial is falling off the roof, and my landlady's been putting off getting it fixed... so NO TELLY which I thought would be a blessing but its turned out to be a chore :(
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 8:26, Reply)
Morning guys
I'm very confused at the moment.

Firstly I'm sat at my desk trying to remember what to do and secondly I didn't sleep for more than 20mins at a time last night yet I'm not tired (that could be a sign of bad things to come =[)

Hope you're both well and all that jazz *jazz hands*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 8:33, Reply)
*hands jazz to Captain V*
Morning chap! If you think you could handle it, get some ProPlus. Be careful though, that stuff'll ruin your life :)
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 8:35, Reply)
*jazz hands*
Morning Captain V you sexual bearded lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 8:37, Reply)
@Noel
My problem isn't not being able to stay awake it's that not sleeping well can both cause and be a symptom of a manic episode. If I end up having an episode that ruins my skiing holiday (going on the 17th) I'm going to be dead angry!

*proffers beard to lusty*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 8:39, Reply)
Eek manic skiing!
Shame V. Hope it settles down for you :)
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 8:44, Reply)
'ning all
Back at work now, and I've had to hand back the fancy motor I borrowed for the break :(

Got about 2 hours sleep last night - I settled into the pattern of going to bed at 3-4am during the holiday, and my body just wouldn't wind down before then last night. Not good when I have to rise at 5.30. I'm feeling OK now, but I've a feeling it's going to hit me bad later.

Hope everyone has a nice easy start to the year.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 8:45, Reply)
*rubs Captain V's beard*
I hope everything's ok and you get to go be all fancy on your skiing holiday.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 8:45, Reply)
@Noel & Lusty
Thanks =]

It must be said I'm looking forward to the prospect of French women although the way my love life has been lately nothing (good) will happen anyway.

Looks like I've started the year as a moaning git. Ah well!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 8:47, Reply)
@Capt V
Trust me, in my experience the prospect of French women is nothing to look forward to.

Not unless you find questionable hygiene attractive anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 8:50, Reply)
@Ducky
Perhaps it's fortunate that I'm having about as much luck with women at the moment as a man with no arms trying to row a boat.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 8:52, Reply)
Hello :)
Work is for people who want money and stuff anyway. Pah!
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 8:53, Reply)
Morning rubberduck, Fredz :)
It's snowing! I always revert to eight-year old boy mode when it's snowing!

(not that it takes much for me to act like that anyway)

Where's the sledge!?
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 8:55, Reply)
Snow is great!
Just let my 8 month old labrador out.... she's never seen it before and is now jumping around like a lunatic! Ahh, snow!
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 8:59, Reply)
Hello all
Just got back from visiting Dad, and I didn't quite realise how bloody noisy Wakefield is. That, and I really prefer being in the country. Not to say that it is without any weirdness, however. For example, have a look at this which I found in Blickling Park:



I would suggest clicking on the picture to get a better view.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:01, Reply)
How strange.....
It looks like a tomb or mausoleum or something..... What is it?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:03, Reply)
Ning pb
I saw that - what a building! Is it far from the coast?
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:04, Reply)
It's a tomb alright
Modelled after the tomb of Caius Cestus in Rome who was obsessed with all things Egyptian. It was built in 1793, and is not too far from the coast, in Norfolk.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:11, Reply)
I like it
Not that it'd make a great living space, but as a place to hang out in when you're dead, sure :)
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:12, Reply)
Morning :)
I know I've got a job here, but I can't remember what the hell it is I'm meant to do.
*shrugs*

I didn't sleep too well, had the most fucked-up dream that involved AIDs, Satan, my brother and me :|
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:14, Reply)
Aiiiiight Kaol!
Where ya been, dog? We missed ya round here, for shizzle.

Word.

*throws shapes*
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:18, Reply)
Kaol...
Did this dream have a song montage with lots of puppets singing and dancing about the common status of this disease?
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:19, Reply)
Hmmm
It reminds me slightly of this bloke www.pyramids.ru/english.html He's this Russian guy, think he was an arms dealer or something. Anyway, he had some sort of epithany and goes round Russia building pyramids to "heal the world". Strange huh?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:19, Reply)
No puppets, that would've just made things worse...
Hi Mr. 31, had a good Jesus-cake-day and stuff?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:22, Reply)
Morning all
And a Happy New Year to you all.

Did you all have a good break?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:22, Reply)
The new person
is half an hour late on her first day. Tisk tisk.

What's the betting our fucking useless HR department didn't even tell her she was meant to be starting today?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:23, Reply)
Hey Dok, Lusty :)
I was 5 minutes late.
But I got stuck behind a tractor, and it was really icy out there.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:26, Reply)
Morning everybody!
And happy new year. I will say that only once, unlike the other people in my office who will be saying it well into March..
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:27, Reply)
Mr Nong to all you lovely people
And a very happy new year to you all! I went away on holiday/work for a few days over new year, and am now having to find new ways to avoid studying. Stupid studying.

Are all you lovely people well? Am I going to be jealous of the car you borrowed Mr Duck?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:27, Reply)
Oh those crazy Russians...
Now where's BK to agree with me?
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:29, Reply)
Christmas
was the usual combination of family gathering and hanging out with the 'little' one - quite nice all round :)

NYE was just another day.

How about yourself?
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:29, Reply)
Hi PoD, Darras, and CU
I don't know how, but I managed to get into work 10 minutes early today, despite the tiny amount of snow which did bad things to the traffic
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:30, Reply)
You guys should see
how much folks laugh here when newspapers proclaim that Britain has come to a halt because it snowed two inches in the night :)

Then again, I think the mocking is unfair because brits dont have spiky tires and stuff.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:32, Reply)
I have no snow here
Just had a car that was really icy. And that I therefore had to scrape muchly. Stupid ice. The roads weren't even slippery and fun to drive on :(

You back in Scandinavia-land now Darras?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:33, Reply)
Darras
You should see how much the Scots laugh at the folks from the South of England when we have a little tiny bit of snow!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:34, Reply)
lucky bastards
We're expected to get a shovel and dig a path to work if the snow gets that bad :D

Still, good work on the space hopper injury! I myself will have to get to the chemist soon and find some gauze to put over my steam burn that popped while I was drunk and got all gooey and yellow and red and hatey.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:35, Reply)
yup penguin
and a wonderful crunchie filled week it was I had in england! I do love the snow, but I dont really appreciate the muscle power it takes to wade through knee deep snow for work. Ive never seen it so bad here! Perhaps that means the snow storm is on its way over there to you guys :D
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:36, Reply)
Hmmm...
I managed to escape the holiday-time with no injuries other than a bruise on my elbow.
I'm sure that's a drunken-related-injury.
But I quit drinking now, so we'll see...

It's so cold in my office that I can see my breath when I breathe out :|
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:38, Reply)
Please send the snow here
I can do with another week or so off work!

EDIT Kaol, you should invoke H&S, you'r not supposed to work in an office below 16C.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:38, Reply)
Kaol
you need some brandy to sort out your office heating there. Boo to not drinking!

On other news, I have monster munch!! I looked like a fat pie stocking up on my english goodies :D
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:40, Reply)
I know that Dok...
But I'm here now, and I'd rather be paid than sit at home.

Plus it's warmer here than at my house :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:41, Reply)
Ah... Student accomodation...
I don't miss it!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:44, Reply)
G'mornin' all!
And a HNY to those I haven't wished it to...

Suffering a bit of a system shock at the moment... HALP!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:46, Reply)
Oh Well
I suppose that money is better than warm. :)

I got Fallout 3 and Bioshock for xmas. Finished Bioshock real quick, and I'm going to start Fallout soon.

EDIT HNY DiT, did you have a good one?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:47, Reply)
mernin
DiT! What system shock? work?
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:48, Reply)
Both awesome games Dok!
I am rubish at console games however, but I did greatly enjoy watching my boyfriend play them.. (does that make me a voyeur?) Prince of Persia is a veeeery pretty game btw
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:49, Reply)
Fallout 3?
*twitches*

I'm on my third play-through... :|
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:51, Reply)
G'morning
My pitiful attempts to reset my bodyclock to work time failed utterly. Therefore, I am tired and easily distracted, neither good when I have court tomorrow!

Did everyone have good Xmas/NYE celebrations?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:55, Reply)
Bioshock
Looked great, I think I'll have to play it again one a very hard level though.

Really looking forward to Fallout though!

EDIT Yup I had a great one Lab, sucks on the bodyclock thing though.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:55, Reply)

Fallout3 kind of dropped off my radar... It just seems to take so long to do anything of note - I feel like I'm wasting my time. So to combat this I go and waste time doing something else like reading forums or playing Football Manager....

Happy New Year etc. Back at work - not that I had anything more than public holidays :(
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 9:59, Reply)
@Kaol
Just as long as you can't see your breath when you breath in...

I managed to fall over in one of those shower-in-a-bath things on new years day and came wihin about an inch of what I would class as bad bleedy bleedy head and death.

Oops.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:01, Reply)
Yes, I've been off for so long I've forgotten about early starts!
Still, it was a great one, so well worth it.

Santa was very kind to me, I now have more socks than I know what to do with!

EDIT: I liked BioShock very much indeed. I haven't played fallout yet though, I know not if it will appeal to me...
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:02, Reply)
DiT
I too have all the socks in scandinavia! Looks like we asked for similar things..
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:05, Reply)
Morning, you sexy fuckers.
I was on time for work this morning. On fucking time! It's a miracle.

Who's gonna give me some love?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:06, Reply)
Sock!
I managed to get away with getting only one pair this year, but they have bells on them.

Still way better than the Dalek slippers I got last year, they say "EXTERMINATE" when I walk!

Hi Drixy, good break?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:07, Reply)
*loves*
*goes back to feeling like a mong*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:07, Reply)
Cheers V.
Dok, it was really bloody good. Best in ages.
How was your break? Hmmm?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:09, Reply)
*loves clendrix*
*loves her hard and fast*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:09, Reply)
Oh. My. God.
How I've missed this.
*gets hard*
*gets fast*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:11, Reply)
*flips clendrix over*
*loves her from various different angles*

*realises that sounds rude*

*remembers that's the point*

*continues loving*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:14, Reply)
Drixy
It had its ups, and then more ups. It was great really!

Hi Lusty.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:15, Reply)
Dok...
glad to hear it :)

Lusty, I think this is the year we should go cottaging.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:22, Reply)
Hi dok
*waves*

I can't think of anything interesting to say :(

Edit: Oh clendrix! I thought you'd never ask!
*happies*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:24, Reply)
For some reason Lusty
You saying that you have nothing interesting to say reminded me that you owe me a sponge bath before you bugger off and leave us.

*daydreams*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:27, Reply)
*wipes brow*
For a moment there I thought I was going to end up wearing the hat...
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:34, Reply)
CU
Tea is the spawn of santa!

Drink lots of coffee, it's good for you!

Hi V, how's tricks?

Lusty, you can't think of anyhing interesting to say? What's wrong?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:35, Reply)
Anything want anything?
Dok, I think she's talking to you.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:39, Reply)
Tricks were good Dok
Until I went to bed last night. Since then they've been full of arse. Hopefully I'll sleep better tonight and feel saner tomorrow or something.

Did you get up to anything exciting over the "Holiday Season"?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:39, Reply)
You know, I could murder a hot Bovril (or other similar beef extract except Marmite) drink just now...
Would you mind awfully? :)
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:41, Reply)
Coffee please.
*twitches*

As long as it's warm, I'll have it.
*shivers*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:41, Reply)
Kaol
Why did that make me think of tomatoes?!

I've lost my mind and I've not even had elevenses yet ='[
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:42, Reply)
Because, my dear V,
You're a delightful retard :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:43, Reply)
CU
I am with you there, my dear. I'll have a Fucking Awesome Coffee please and I reckon the same for Kaol.

*sits back*
*enjoys the awesomeness*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:44, Reply)
This Thing
would love a coffee.

Drixy, and she's never seen me, yet still knows I'm a thing.

V I got up to lots of 'interesting things' in the last week of the break. ;)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:44, Reply)
I have judged the beards!
Kaol, you have to see what I wrote about Spak's.
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post339039
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:45, Reply)
@Kaol
*steals*

@Dok If I'm interpreting what you've just said correctly I'm jealous.

@Drixy "of all the beardies" got me good =D
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:45, Reply)
Coffee?
I prefer tea usualy.... It's good cos I have a cold so I'm sat in drinking tea and listening to music and such. Seems to have stopped snowing, and it's all started to mealt though :(
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:49, Reply)
Well
This morning's trip in was exciting.

I was driving along a wide country road, and thought

"ooh, its' really icy today, lets have a play"

I clicked the handbrake one click, sent the car into a slide and slid it along for a good few hundred yards.

Then a car came the other way, I dabbed the brakes to realign, but it spun instead. 180 degrees (to my intended course) later, I'm driving back down the road, only to confuse a colleague going the other way!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:50, Reply)
All you crazy people
With your hot teas and coffees. Orange juice is where it's at.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:53, Reply)
Hahaha!
"a collection of midget beards" is my Post Of The Day so far.
Have a toffee.

Also, I forgot to put my feeble-beard-attempt on there.
Ah well, I'd've been last :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:55, Reply)
V
You might have, I was away in a place near Dorchester last week!

Drixy, you forgot my beard, I'm all sad now, and anyway I've got my Goatee back now.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:56, Reply)
@Captain V
And you owe me a big portion of toad in the hole.

I would have said you owe me a portion of your sausage instead of toad in the hole, but that would have made it sound like I was talking about your penis

The new woman is here. Christ she talks a lot!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:58, Reply)
Dok, I didn't see yours! Where was it?
Kaol, I didn't need a picture of your beard. It has already been closely inspected.
*sniggers*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 10:58, Reply)
@Lusty
So I do! Ah, my toad in your hole jokes. *sniggers*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:01, Reply)
Dok,
judgement upon your beard has been added.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:02, Reply)
@lusty
If she talks a lot, according to you, then she must be talking people to death!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:03, Reply)
Unhappy Beard
I like that, made me laugh it did.

Just wait till you see what it is now though, much more friendly and smiley!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:04, Reply)
Awwwww!
I forgot about the beardy compo!

I mean, I forgot to enter and now it's too late and argh! Oh well, there's always next year!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:06, Reply)
Next year?
Even if I grew mine for a year, it'd be rubbish!

So... Everyone ready for the next episode of Kaol Black?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:07, Reply)
Morning all!
Being back at work is not cool. Having a minging chest infection from weeks of hard partying and smoking 1000 fags a day is even less cool.

How are we all? Can't be arsed to read the thread.

Anyone made any entertaining resolutions?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:10, Reply)
@Sam
Assuming you never sleep you were smoking a cigarette every 86.4 seconds! That's pretty impressive shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:14, Reply)
Good maths Captain
I have to admit to a small amount of poetic license...!

I wasn't really counting, but I've nailed two sleeves of duty frees since getting them for a present on Christmas Day (damn friends seeing you have foreign fags and cadging them...)

I have been coughing up black shit for days now and strangely the only thing that stops me coughing is smoking more :(
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:15, Reply)
Sam's got a reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally big mouth.
He can smoke 50 at once.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:16, Reply)
Kaol
Yes please, my comic addiction needs to be satisfied!

I've actually smoked less over Xmas and NY than I normally do, and I've only had four cans of beer! What's wrong with me?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:18, Reply)
Well...
You'll have to wait 'til Wednesday night :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:19, Reply)
I have judged the competition!
I may not even be a judge, but so what. I'm like a force of nature me, just online and that.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:20, Reply)
@Sam
I cheated - had a spreadsheet open at the time. Wish I could do maths like that in my head though. I guess I could probably have gotten to an answer of approx' 90 seconds without too much straining.

Anyway, on the subject of smoking stopping you coughing; doesn't smoking have an effect of semi paralysing (or maybe anesthetising) bits and bobs in your throat?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:21, Reply)
DiT...
If you're a force of nature, you can be "mist".
I'll be "drizzle".
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:24, Reply)
oo more snow
*shovels some into an envelope for england* I regret not wearing my hat when I went to the shop.. Now I cant feel my ears.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:26, Reply)
Ancrenne!
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo! We were being so good yesterday!
I even bought some apples.

Force of nature? I am the tide.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:26, Reply)
*puts on the cape
and dashes in to rescue ancrenne* *heroic pose TM*
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:28, Reply)
If I were a force of nature
I think I'd be lightening.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:28, Reply)
V
Your sig is fucking excellent, even if it does just illustrate Kaol's rudeness.

Lightening? Like hair?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:29, Reply)
V...
Nah, you'd be freeze-thaw erosion.
Lightning's too flashy :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:29, Reply)
Hi Ancrenne!
*passes Ancrenne a lovely G&T*

We have new people starting at work. I've forgotten their names already, so I might make badges with numbers on for them to wear.

I really ought to be trying to pull together one of the gargantuan cases I'm working on, but I'm tired and capricious.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:30, Reply)
Where's TGB when we need her?
It's LIGHTNING!!

Well edited Kaol ;)
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:30, Reply)
Apples not good.
Apples suck. Suck bigly.

*looks at apples*
*rolls smoke*

Kaol thinks he's quick, but he aint that quick.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:32, Reply)
*hands head in shame*
Seems my sig is delightfully appropriate too.

@Kaol

Freeze-thaw weathering? That's so boring, slow and repetitive =[
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:32, Reply)
Mist?
You mean, I burn off when the sun comes up?

I think I'd rather be fog. Or maybe one of those little tornadoes that occasionally rips through somewhere ghastly, like Witham, making it look marginally better.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:33, Reply)
Shut it Sam!
You saw nothing. Nothing!

Mornin' ancrenne *waves*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:33, Reply)
I'm more
A farce of nature.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:34, Reply)
Force of Nature
I think I'd have to be a glacier. Slow but still going to kill the world again!

Hi Miss crenne, but no, this year has to be better than last year, you can trust me on that!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:35, Reply)
*looks at apples in new light*
I feel my healthy living is going to be ruined by b3ta, along with my lungs, my work ethic, my booze-unit control and my laugh muscles.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:38, Reply)
I'm from Wales
so I'd have to be miserable pissing rain, which is about the only weather we get.

So what's everyone's resolutions then? Nobody answered me above!

Mine is to have more adventures. Plotting the first one at the moment...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:38, Reply)
Ancrenne!
*leaps*

Alright?

*ruffles hair*

Oi loikes aaples, oi does! Not a big fan o'coider, though, dunno woi! *west countries*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:39, Reply)
Apples are good
But not the soft ones, I like the hard, almost sour ones that you have to really bite in to.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:39, Reply)
Sam
you're going to piss rain?
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:39, Reply)
I'm alright,
Yep, thanks Ms. A :)

Just the "first day back at work" crap-ness.

But, on the plus side, 2009 is gonna be a good one. Things really started improving in 2008, but this year is gonna be good. *determined*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:40, Reply)
2008 started out alright but on average was fucking shit for me
So I'm hoping 2009 will be better!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:41, Reply)
2008 was the worst year I've ever had.
But it did got a lot better in the second half.

This year I want to have guitar lessons and be more creative generally. I'm getting a new guitar VERY soon! Yay!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:42, Reply)
Im beginning 2009
looking like a cripple that can't go half an hour without doing damage to myself.

Its hard wrapping a bandage around an arm on your own!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:43, Reply)
Hmmm...
Er... My resolutions are "take less crap from people", "stay off the drugs", "don't get sectioned" and "see how long I can go without alcohol for".
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:43, Reply)
Resolutions
Never made one before and wont be breaking the habit.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:45, Reply)
not getting sectioned
is a worthy resolution! My friend woke up in an asylum after a heavy night on the town once. It's my favourite story :D
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:45, Reply)
2008
Last year was, apart from a few awesome moments, fucking shit.

This year will be better, or I'll start making other people's lives a misery in order to make mine seem positively blessed in comparison.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:45, Reply)
Sam
I have made no resolutions, never do.

2008 was just like 2007, 2006, and 2005, Shite!

2009 is looking good so far, I just hope it lasts.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:46, Reply)
While not being resolutions
I'd really like to achieve two things this year.

1) Move back out from my parents' house.
2) Work out what my long term ambitions are.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:49, Reply)
Join the cripple club!
Whatcha do to yourself ancrenne?
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:50, Reply)
Surely that's just standard procedure rather than resolutions though Kaol?
I've only just noticed your sig darras, a badger in your head eh?!

I am trying to perform the first stages of planning an overland trip to the other side of the world but Google Maps won't do directions :(

(note: I am going to plan this slightly more extensively, not just print a map out and set off!)
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:50, Reply)
Sam
It felt that way on new years day.. Darn badgers!

And. Where ya goin?
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:51, Reply)
2008 wasn't too bad for me
first time I've had a gigging band that was any good.

Got my new board too.

this year however, promises to be shit. too much work, too much responsibility. and Mrs V is being threatened with a company wide temporary pay cut of 10%. not an insignificant amount....
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:52, Reply)
I just remembered
There is one thing I want to do this year.

That's learn to play my Bass properly.

Other than that, just have a good time!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:53, Reply)
India's the first objective, I think, then probably carry on to SE Asia
Although it seems quite difficult to get there without driving through several war zones!

I have got so fucked off with my life and this country and everything in general over the last few months that I'm going to drop out of society and become a dirty hippy. Probably set aside 5 years or so to bumble round the world, just need to raise some cash first...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:54, Reply)
Morning all
and a Happy New Year to everyone.

Just reading the new years resolutions now.

Poor ancrenne - ouchy!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:55, Reply)
ancrenne
good grief! That's impressive. Poor thing. Still, you could get a parrot and put it on your shoulder and say 'YARR' then you'll look cool rather than crippled ;)
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:56, Reply)
Sam
sounds awesome that does! How hard would it be to gain cash as you go? It's always best to just go on these things rather than wait to save monies.. Or life gets in the way.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:57, Reply)
I'm planning a trip at the moment.
Kaol's American Road Trip.

I've got as far as the title. And getting my friend to agree to come with me. And deciding that I'm going in "The Fall". And that I wanna hire an old Mustang.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 11:57, Reply)
Travels
This year I aim to get abroad, as I failed in 2008. The plans:

* a long weekend in Liege to get my sleeve finished by Dan DiMattia
* possible roadtrip Stateside, visiting a few friends along the way
* friend's stag do, which is currently firearm training in Geneva!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:00, Reply)
More travels!
This year I'm going to Prague in two weeks time, then England again at easter (to stock up on salt and vinegar crisps and crunchie bars.. oh yes!) And in september Im going to Malaysia/Singapore for two and a half weeks! Honeymooning rock on :D

Ancrenne you have a good point there about the balance.. Perhaps a stick would be helpful too?
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:02, Reply)
New Zealand trip!
It's booked and paid for!
Can't wait.

Oh and I have this amazing friend who's travelling to North America sometime soon, so perhaps I can go and visit her later in the year. Perhaps :)
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:02, Reply)
oo new Zealand
Clendrix I am jealous!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:04, Reply)
I went to Prague last year
It was great!
If you want any info, feel free to gaz me :)
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:04, Reply)
My travels
Going skiing (France) later this month and then I'll go somewhere in Europe that I've not been to before in the summer to fulfil my travelling obligations (Visit a country I've never been to before each year of my life).

I'm thinking either Spain or Italy at the moment.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:04, Reply)
Resolutions for 2009:
- Get married. OK, not so much of a resolution, but she has time to change her mind yet!

- Learn something new, like guitar. even if it's only a few chords.

- Go snowboarding. Yes.

Resolutions, I think, should be about stuff you want to do, rather than things you think you should be doing. This is why January is littered with people who have failed to give up smoking. ;)

EDIT: With any luck, my travels this year will take me to Canada and America, and maybe somewhere in Yoorup! :)
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:05, Reply)
One of my best friends lives there...
and she popped a baby out a couple of days ago, so I'm off to see her and meet him. Yay!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:05, Reply)
oo DiT
you're getting married too! Awesomeness :D
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:06, Reply)
Yeah darras
Definitely planning to acquire money as we go, sort of see where the wind takes us...

We do however need cash to buy a bus, as that's what we're planning to do it in (it's like 1969 never ended isn't it?), and a bit of cash in the bank for emergencies! Should hopefully set off by the end of this summer though.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:06, Reply)
@DiT
Don't you just wish people would be considerate and throw the failed quitters in the bin rather than dropping them in the streets?

I don't like what society is becoming!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:07, Reply)
Sam
you'll have to keep some kind of internet photo diary with documentation of the humiliating hilarity that goes on :D
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:08, Reply)
Yeah I think we'll have to be all 21st century like
and have a blog...

I'm not really one for taking photos normally but I will make an effort on this occasion!

Just looking at prices for a C driving licence, best part of a grand! :S
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:10, Reply)
*runs back in*
*hugs everyone*

My new years resolution to to cover a mountie in maple syrup and lick it off him.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:11, Reply)
Darras...
I too am going to Scotland for the first time this year. I wish I was going with a nicer bunch of people, but I can always move away from them when they annoy me :)

And I can always find solace with Ancrenne :)
Lusty, do you need any help with that?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:11, Reply)
Ooooh!
Nice mental image!






*enquires about the cost of Mountie Uniform hire*
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:13, Reply)

Got to be worth it, Captain...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:14, Reply)
Scotland rocks socks
drixy. I'm actually a bit miffed that my family will be requiring me to be in southern england at the time of the b3ta drinkage in scotland this easter!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:16, Reply)
Hmm...
One of my ancestors was a famous mountie.
They made a film about him and named a town after him too!

So... I'm part mountie... *shrugs*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:17, Reply)
Scotland
Does indeed Rock, but how and why is another question.

Not that I've been there in the last eight years.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:19, Reply)
hello
First day back at work and i've gone from having a relatively free January, to a January that sees my diary almost completely blocked out for the first 2 weeks in about 2 hours flat.

How am I expected to actually get any improtant stuff done? like work, for example???
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:20, Reply)
Kaol,
what part is mountie?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:20, Reply)
Hmmm...
A thin layer, just below the surface?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:21, Reply)
You're a man of many layers.
Especially when you're at home :)
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:22, Reply)
Force of nature?
I am the warm breeze across your neck.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:32, Reply)
*covers part of kaol in maple syrup*
*licks*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:33, Reply)
Bloody hell!
Well, I'm not gonna protest.

Although I now have an epic craving for waffles...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:36, Reply)
oohhh waffles
nom nom nom
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:39, Reply)
Oh! We didn't have our waffles, Kaol.
*cries*

I've been outside for a smoke and now my boobs are cold. Where's that Lusty?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:44, Reply)
Yay waffles!
Shame that the exciting town that I work in has no waffle-shops.
*shakes fist*
I'll have to smoke lots at lunchtime instead...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:44, Reply)
Drixy
It is a bit nippy outside, I've just been out and now one of my hands are cold!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:46, Reply)
Afternoon all
The snow didn't amount to much around here, but it managed to confuse my two dogs, which was fun. I dropped the mrs off at work this morning, got out of the car, and promptly slipped on some ice. It was hilarious, I was waving my arms about like a mong on E.
This afternoon, I am back at work at 3pm, after a week off with the flu... Looking forward to all the 'hilarious' bird flu jokes from my colleagues...
(I helped save b3ta! bentalls In my head, I am a ninja, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:51, Reply)
I want to put my gloves on
but they're mittens.
Good for warmth but crap for smoking/typing.

Hello Bentalls. You used the word 'mong'.
Welcome. Welcome indeed.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:51, Reply)
@ clendrix
Why are your boobs cold?? Was it a naked smoke??
(I helped save b3ta! bentalls In my head, I am a ninja, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:52, Reply)
Bentalls,
no just a bloody cold one, and my office is bloody cold too.
/grumble
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:53, Reply)
Ah...
I see... *gibbers*
I think my idea was funnier, but at least you didn't get frost bite on yer nips
(I helped save b3ta! bentalls In my head, I am a ninja, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:54, Reply)
Clenders
Why would you put your gloves on your boobs? That'd be silly!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:55, Reply)
Would you like me to warm
your boobs up clendrix?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:55, Reply)
Damn it
Now we are all talking about boobs, and I have to go and get ready for work!!

*mutters darkly*
(I helped save b3ta! bentalls In my head, I am a ninja, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:56, Reply)
Boobs!
I hate mine, but they can be used for fun.
*points them at Lusty for warming*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 12:58, Reply)
*rubs hands together*
*warms up clendrix's boobs*

Just found out the overseer isn't in tomorrow. I asked her to do my personal reference for my visa two weeks ago and now I'm going to have to wait longer for it.
*cries*

I just want to get it sent off so I can fuck off.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 13:18, Reply)
Oh buggering hell, Lusty.
When's she coming in next? Is it soon? I hope she's bloody done it.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 13:19, Reply)
i don't think she's coming in til Thursday now.
Which is annoying. I know she can't help being ill but I feel like I've been pissing about on b3ta working hard for them the last year with people who take advantage of me and assume I won't care if I'm made to wait for things.

Also this new woman talks so much I think my ears might drop off.

Someone who talks more than the overseer...I never thought I'd see the day!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 13:36, Reply)
Aah,
but is her chatter as mingey as the overseers? Surely not!

These people, fucking with our plans and our lives. How dare they. Don't they know who we are?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 13:41, Reply)
Back from lunch
And I'm waaaarm!
*grins*

Also, the trainee is looking rather fine today.
*grins*

So... This afternoon is good thus-far.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 13:55, Reply)
She hasn't talked about her minge once!
Which is very decent of her. Oh god, now I'm thinking about old lady fanny.

*cries*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 13:55, Reply)
Kaol's the dirty old man in the office.
May as well be consistent, I suppose.

I am warm also. But now I've gone and got all unsettled and restless.

Lusty, think about our white picket fence with roses growing on it.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:01, Reply)
Maybe...
*laughs*
She's older than me though :p

Oh... Lunch! I had a BLT, a can of Relentless, several cigarettes and an espresso.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:06, Reply)
Nothing wrong with that.
Besides, you don't look as young as you are.
*grins*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:07, Reply)
Fine! :p
I don't mind looking a bit older.
I think I might do in ten years...

EDIT: Woo, the trainee is making me coffee :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:09, Reply)
I just did
a silent but deadly.

Happily I have my own office so I can be quietly proud of the toxicity!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:12, Reply)
Kaol
She's making you coffee?
That means she wants to have sex with you.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:14, Reply)
A bit older?
Erm yes, just a bit.
*teases*

Careful Darras. Someone might come in.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:15, Reply)
Lusty
I think you might've solved my problems - I need to start drinking coffee!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:15, Reply)
*pops in*
when I get round to it I'm writing a song called The Rohypnotist
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:23, Reply)
*yawns*
Sorry, I just found myself half-naked, under my desk.
Dunno why I'm so sleepy.

*collapses*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:24, Reply)
apparently
according to the Sun, Stonehenge was built to be a rave venue. *blink*
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:25, Reply)
Hey V
That song title is brilliant.

In other news I've found a representation of me in comic form: xkcd.com/314/

:edit: You what darras?! *raves*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:25, Reply)
Underwhelmed: it fucking well will now
cheers for getting me started!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:27, Reply)
Stonehenge?
A rave venue? The druids hardly strike me as having their own Whistle Posse who throw the big fish, little fish dance...
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:27, Reply)
Vipros,
Sounds good!

I wrote a song called "The Organ Donor".
It's about keeping someone alive in a basement and removing bits from them to order, as and when you can make a sale.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:29, Reply)
next time
I visit my parents I'm absolutely popping by Stonehenge to do Big Fish Little Fish!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:29, Reply)
*puts on white gloves*
*cracks open the glow sticks*

*cuts some serious shapes*

*blows whistle*

I haven't been raving in ages :( my friend Verity and I even have a routine we like to bust out every now and then. Ohhh and the car dance! I haven't done the car dance in a long time.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:37, Reply)
And I'd have gotten away with it too if it weren't for those pesky...adults?!
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7811686.stm

:edit: I've never been raving. Not too fussed though as I don't think I'd like it.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:39, Reply)
Agreed, V.
I've not been. And I think I'd just end up getting The Fear.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:42, Reply)
Aww!
Bless 'em, the little tykes!

I wonder if I'll be remanded in custody before I get married...
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:44, Reply)
@CU
Sorry to hear about your gay ice dancing ex boyfriend but frankly it made me officelol.

@Kaol I think if I went raving I'd suffer from sensory overload and have a seizure or something.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:45, Reply)
@Captain V
That is very sweet.
I've often though I'd like to elope the first time I get married.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:46, Reply)
Lusty
You could elope (back to) England =D
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:48, Reply)
RAAARRRRRRR!!
Hello everyone, how are we all?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:48, Reply)
Oh...
*whispers*
It's her...

*waves*
Hi TGB!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:49, Reply)
lo TGB
!
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:50, Reply)
*jumps out of cotton socks*
HALP!

Hi Badger!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:50, Reply)
:(
yes it is me, but I can go *cries, sulks off*

*hugs V and Darras*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:50, Reply)
No, don't go!
*sips coffee*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:51, Reply)
CU
My girlfriend at that age is now divorced with two kids. A bit like me but I don't have any kids.

Hi Badger, how was xmas?

Oh bugger it I forgot earlier.

*HUGS FOR EVERYBODY*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:52, Reply)
I know you missed me
really Kaol, the 57 text messages and 23 letters you sent me proved how much you were thinking of me over the festive period.

The human heart and the note "I said your name when I ripped it out" you sent was a little OTT though.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:53, Reply)
Yay
*hugs badger back*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:55, Reply)
*strokes V's beard*
Hey Dok *huggles* my scarf is still keeping me nice and snuggly :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:56, Reply)
Hi TGB!
I'm tired, and time feels like it's taking the scenic route today.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:56, Reply)
yay hugs!
I shall caper in an endearing fashion.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:56, Reply)
Yeah...
I was a little drunk when I did the heart-thing... Sorry... What did you do with it, you of interest?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:56, Reply)
57 texts from Kaol?
Well, that accounts for a fifth of them then, K.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:57, Reply)
@Captain V
That sounds like a plan!

Who wants to run away with me and get married then?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:58, Reply)
I fed it to my dog.
Lab! *hugs*

Clendrix! *snogs*

Lusty! *marries*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 14:59, Reply)
Glad to hear it Badger *huggles back*
I hate to think how many texts I sent over xmas, and how muck time I spent on the phone!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:00, Reply)
Lusty
I would but frankly I'm feeling to apathetic to do anything much at the moment. Perhaps if you bring Canada to me or something.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:01, Reply)
Lusty
If we get married, we can can call each other 'wifey' when we're at home listening to Radio Four. How fucking cute are we?

*grabs Badger*
*snogs her and snogs her good*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:01, Reply)
Drixy
That would blow my cuteometer up, that's how cute that would be.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:07, Reply)
Dok
Lusty and I are going to run a special guest house next to our cottage for b3tans in need of special care and attention.
This differs from Kaol's idea of special care and attention, btw.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:08, Reply)
Clendrix
Could we eat cakes off each other as well?

I know that's more rude than cute, but it would make me happy.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:08, Reply)
Drixy
And just what 'Special care and attention' would that be?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:09, Reply)
Lusty
I think some daily rudery is necessary to temper the cuteness.
So yes. Let there be cake.

Dok - it depends on the needs. It's not necessarily that sort.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:10, Reply)
But
Who would be eligible, because I have some very special need!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:13, Reply)
Dok...
b3tans!

But you'll have to fill in a form first and give us time to assess you and decide on treatment.

Erm, we also need to buy our cottage, furnish it and get married. So you'll have to suffer in silence for now.

I think it'll be called The Lusty and Clendrix Home of Practical Sympathy.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:18, Reply)
*waves*
Hello again.
Sorry, I had to do proper-work-stuff.
Rubbish!

I'm kinda back now.
What's all this about cottaging?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:21, Reply)
Can I stay at the cottage
I need lots of hugs and tea and cake and boob hugs
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:23, Reply)
Oh Kaol,
you know Lusty and I have been discussing cottaging for ages.

You're getting your own plastic-coated guest room, remember?

ALL needy b3tans are welcome.

Well, nearly all...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:23, Reply)
@clendrix
That name is amazing!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:24, Reply)
Damn
This thousand page form's a bit much though.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:26, Reply)
Ah yes!
La Salle En Plastique.
*grins*

I've had to cancel my band practice tonight, because the two miles of country lanes that lead to my drummer's house are iced up pretty badly, and I don't fancy driving that tonight, when it's colder, in a rear-wheel-drive automatic.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:28, Reply)
Dok,
it'll be worth it.

Lusty, I didn't discuss the name with you but it just popped into my head, inspired by a conversation I had on Saturday. Glad you like it :)
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:29, Reply)
Kaol
That sucks you having to cancel your band practice.

I'm sure it will Drixy, I'm sure it will :)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:31, Reply)
96
days until the Edinburgh Bash.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:40, Reply)
WooHoo
EDIT

Pass the hat please I appear to have killed this thread!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:42, Reply)
Oi!
Everyone post something immediately!
Stop lurking and watching this thread die!

This counts as my post.
*wanders off*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:58, Reply)
*dances*
I'm not lurking oh, oh
oh no

I'm not lurking!

*stops singing*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 15:59, Reply)
Yes you are V
Nice dance by the way.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:00, Reply)
Not Lurking, no ma'am
*runs in*

*does spacky clap*

*runs back out again*
(I helped save b3ta! bentalls In my head, I am a ninja, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:04, Reply)
Fuckin' lurkers.
Honestly.
If you wanna read, you might as well post.
/relurks
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:07, Reply)
Cheeky prick.

(Flid James carry on, mongs, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:10, Reply)
I've been trying to chat
but this new woman WON'T STOP TALKING TO ME!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:10, Reply)
Kick her in the face.
Go on go on go on...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:11, Reply)
Oh boy
I have been dying for an excuse to use this...

Cunt her in the fuck!

*yays*
(I helped save b3ta! bentalls In my head, I am a ninja, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:12, Reply)
Lusteh
Get one of these and just stick it in front of her. She'll soon shut up.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:13, Reply)
I'm not sure about kicking her in the face.
I don't think it's correct office etiquette.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:14, Reply)
V
Loud sex is not something that should be done in an office, at least not during the day!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:15, Reply)
That's not what I meant Dok!
Although that might stop her talking but she could be loud in bed too so you'd be taking a risk.

*pre-emptively hands lusty the mind bleach*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:18, Reply)
*takes mind bleach*
I'll be taking this to the corner with me while I have a little cry.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:20, Reply)
Oi!
Who made Lusty cry? Come on, who was it?

*comforts*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:21, Reply)
It's OK Lusty
I'll not be having loud sex in your office. I promise.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:21, Reply)
Would
My toad in your hole and a sponge bath make things better?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:21, Reply)
It was you V!
You made Lusty cry, you are a bad man, so no biscuits for you!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:23, Reply)
Dok
That's nothing we didn't already know. *slaps own wrist*

I shall make it up to her with lovely food and by whoring my beard out to her.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:24, Reply)
Thanks DiT
:)

@Captain V, that would be lovely. I'll go get the sponge now.

@Dok, umm I'd rather you didn't have sex loud or otherwise in my office. You might leave a mark on my desk!

Ohhh home time now. Yay!
*hugs everyone*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:25, Reply)
Home time for me too
See you lot later maybe.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:27, Reply)
Bye you two!
*sighs*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:30, Reply)
I'm still here Clendrix
If that isn't a reason to go "WOOO" I don't know what is
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:34, Reply)
WOOOO

(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:35, Reply)
Thanks V :p
So how's the exciting romatic life of V? Have you heard from girl 2 again?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:39, Reply)
A belated 'woo' for Badger.
Sorry for delay - computer started fucking around and I had try with all my might not to hurt it.

I did find myself laughing whilst turning it off mid-freeze, and saying, 'I will always fucking win, you stupid cunt.'

I think it might be time for me to step away from the keyboard...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:45, Reply)
The exciting romantic life of V
Is neither exciting nor romantic. I've spoken to girl number 2 and let her know that something just wasn't there for me. Since then there have been no developments in my love life.

I've decided to give up on meeting people in pubs/bars at that's never worked for me before and nothing has suggested that's going to change.

Bit grumpy about it all at the moment. Trying to work out how I might meet more people - I've met all my previous (serious) girlfriends through mutual friends. That doesn't really seem to happen at the moment what with most of my friends scattered around the country at uni these days.

/grumble
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:46, Reply)
V
Frankly, if someone as gorgeous as you can't find a gf, I'm giving up now.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:48, Reply)
Join the club V
Either they are too far away or nuts.

Or both.

:(

Edit: Clendrix, don't shout at it, they don't like it:

www.theregister.co.uk/2009/01/05/shouty_sun_engineer/
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 16:57, Reply)
@Drixy
I can't even get a one night stand at the moment.

I'm off home. Laters folks.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 17:01, Reply)
*hugs for V*
That's rubbish, meeting people in pubs is always very hit and miss.

I recommend going to more b3ta bashes :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 17:07, Reply)
I've never had a one night stand*
how are they?

*I tried once and it turned into a 2 and a half year relationship
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 17:13, Reply)
I'm gonna post number 300
and then I'm off for the night!
T'ra!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 17:13, Reply)
One night stands
are ok. If all you want is a bit of sexehtiem.

Although the morning after is ocassionally a fun game of "how quickly can I get this person out of my house/how quickly can I escape their house"
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 17:19, Reply)
*waggles eyebrows*
How YOU doin' TGB :)
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 17:48, Reply)
Evening all
Well I survived my first day, but there weren't any children so it wasn't hard.

How was it here?

JMG is making a tit of himself again I see.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 5 Jan 2009, 17:53, Reply)
TGB
Hit the nail on the head. I've also had a couple of one night stands turn into excellent relationships.

Sleeping with somebody before you get to know them really makes getting to know them a lot easier.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Jan 2009, 18:08, Reply)

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