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(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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Day thread
I've been up since half-three, thanks to a police search helicopter doing manouvers over my roof for twenty minutes.

Are you a morning or night person?

Served by war-mongering drunken meerkat bastards!

Served by war-mongering drunken meerkat bastards!

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 6:24, 345 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Night person
Hiiiii No3l.

But my night posts are morning posts for you guys.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 6:47, Reply)

Morning you.
I used to be a night person, but my job makes me get up at 6am, and now I kinda like it :)

How're you today?
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 6:56, Reply)

I;m okay thanks
a little tired.
My body clock still hates me - I'm trying to reverse it from night to day time settings. :p I'm not succeeding.

How about you?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 7:00, Reply)

I'm shattered
Not used to being so tired. I've got a day off today so I'll probably get my head down a bit later.

Just eating toast and playing Fallout 3. I think I must be close to discovering every location by now!
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 7:06, Reply)

ahaha
sounds like fun no3l.

and I love toast.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 7:07, Reply)

Not with vegemite on it though eh?
What a rubbish Australian :)
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 7:16, Reply)

ahhh I'm slowly changing my tune
I don't mind it if it's scraped very thinly on a big crusty piece of bread now. But only once in a while.

But yeah - I hate sport, don't like *heaps* of vegemite, and I don't say "g'day mate" etc etc.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 7:18, Reply)

Stop it!
You're ruining Home and Away for me :)

What are Aussie stereotypes of Poms then?
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 7:24, Reply)

Umm don't lynch me. I'm just the messenger. and you asked.
Pale. Pasty. Whinging. Nancy boys the lot of yer :P
Love a drink as much as us.

Um that's all I can think of right off the top of my head.

And Home and Away is CRAP. I can't believe you watch that tripe.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 7:29, Reply)

Ugh - morning
I'm not really awake until 9pm.

Morning No3l, Vampy!
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 7:30, Reply)

Hi LiC
I don't like mornings either. School is awful like that.

I'm getting up at 6 for school:(
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 7:32, Reply)

Hah... I don't watch it!
Soaps give me the yawns.

To be fair, we don't get that much sunny weather here. And we whinge about the weather. And we drink to forget about the weather.

So yeah, it's pretty close :)

Edit: Ning Light!
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 7:33, Reply)

No3l
to be fair - I fit more english stereotypes then I do australian ones. Pale Pasty. I'll whinge about the weather :P I'll drink to enjoy myself.

I also have semi red hair (I think I have irish/scottish blood somewhere in the family)
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 7:36, Reply)

As you're confirmed as a player for the other team
I think I can safely say I've got a soft spot for redheads.

Or a hard spot.
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 7:44, Reply)

yeah well
I have a slightly soft ~~wet~~ spot for red heads too.

I don't have a hard spot though.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 7:49, Reply)

never sleeps
up, and up to no good, as per usual.
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 7:57, Reply)

hi cackers
good to hear. :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 8:01, Reply)

hallo vampy
how's tomorrow looking?

hear you on the g'day thing. stereotypes. *shudder*
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 8:03, Reply)

has been lovely
in fact it's tea time! I'll be back shortly :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 8:04, Reply)

enjoy
I have decided not to sleep. Returning to work after a long sickie, but have been up guitaring with my bro. sleep is for the grave, methinks.
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 8:07, Reply)

Pffft!
Sleep is AWESOME! In fact, I want another hour or two right now, but instead I have to go to work. :-(
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 8:14, Reply)

Morning all (evening V'cat)
I'm definitely a morning person. Far prefer to get up early if I've got something to do, than to work late to finish it.

I'm usually in bed before 11pm, unless I'm out gigging or whatever.

And it's a cold and frosty morning here today. Rather nice actually, were it not for the icy roads.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 8:20, Reply)

Morning all
I'm definitely a night person. Even though my body clock has adjusted my morning waking up so I can get up at 7.30 for work, I still don't get to bed until after 3.00 most nights. I swear my most alert time of day doesn't start until about 11pm, I can be tired before then and then my brain just wakes me up! Fortunately I don't need much sleep.

I knocked off work early to ~~build a snowman~~ work from home yesterday afternoon, ended up having to cover one of my mum's staff that had gone home early as well, and the snow had started thawing quite a lot by the time I finished. Rubbish!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 8:30, Reply)

champion sleeper
when the time is right. but not now. must figure some chords.
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 8:36, Reply)

back!
Evening K!
Glad to hear everyone is well
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 8:38, Reply)

Because it's a cold and frosty morning
I've been singing Three Craws Sat Upon a Wa' to myself.

(A well known Scots kids' song, which finishes each verse with "On a cold and frosty morning")

And now I can't get it out of my head. Dammit.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 8:43, Reply)

Morning all
I'm back at work after two days sitting at home doing very little due to the snow!

Bloody London, a little bit of snow and everything stops!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 8:52, Reply)

Now I can't get it out of my head!
*shakes fist*
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 8:52, Reply)

Damn you K2
I've got it in my head now!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 8:56, Reply)

Ha ha!
You'll be greetin' for yer maw all morning now!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 8:58, Reply)

wish I knew this tune
will pretend to hum along with ye.

even whilst sorting out Randy Rhoades for my bro.
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 8:59, Reply)

K2
I actually know that song surprisingly enough.

if it were not for the awesomeness of crowded house that I have blaring out of my speakers - I would have succumbed to the song being stuck in my head.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 8:59, Reply)

I've never heard of it
so I looked it up.

I found this page which helpfully translates the weird and wonderful words such as craw and wa'!

Edit: Crowded House VC?!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 8:59, Reply)

/blush
yup.

I love Crowded House. Trying to track down some of their older stuff - where I live the music and video stocks are fairly limited.

"I'll be waiting when you call...hey whenever I fall at your feet......"

EDIT: that was just the song on the cd that was playing when I wrote that...no hidden meanings there! Lol.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:03, Reply)

yes, Crowded House
great tunes.

only part-time metal. all musik 24/7.

will check that link later. busy making new blisters on me fingers!
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:10, Reply)

Mornin'

I would like to take this opportunity to pimp my feature-request.

How are you all this snowy morning?
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:11, Reply)

I'm one of the only people
my age around here who listens them.

Everyone else listens to the shit on the radio that claims to be music.

I want to stab radios sometimes - the crap that airs really makes me want to stab the speakers out.
And then track down the "singer/songwriters" who write the stuff. And then stab them too. Multiple times....
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:13, Reply)

@Sam
The fourth verse in that link isn't as I know it.

The version I know is:

The fourth craw wisnae there at a'...

Followed by the last verse:

That's a' I ken aboot the craws...
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:14, Reply)

Sam
Why did you have to link to that, I've been told to stop singing it now!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:14, Reply)

I quite like some of the older stuff actually
But seriously went off them after seeing them last year or so, the newest album is rubbish!

And I got all excited there when I thought you were waiting for my call... *sigh*

Edit: Agreed on new music though. Not been very inspired by much new stuff for quite a while now.

Edit 2: Why do you think I linked to it Dok? :P
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:15, Reply)

Morning vs night person
I find that if I get up early enough, not go to bed too late and do so for a couple of days running, I can be very focussed in the morning. But if I have lie-ins and stay up late, I find I'm most focussed at 1 or 2am, yet I manage to be tired art the same time I'm focused.

In the meantime, I don't have to be at work until 10am, so if I get out of bed at the last minute, I'm already switched to "night-person mode".
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:16, Reply)

Sam
I have their album "the very best of Crowded house".

Well it's my mum's really. I pinched it from her CD collection about 5 years ago.

I also have the womens version "She Will Have Her Way" - a collection of Tim and Neil Finn's songs but performed by a myriad of women. Lovely album. Kasey Chambers absolutely butchers her song though - don't bother listening to whatever it is she sings.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:18, Reply)

Good morning everybody
....and YOUR MUM to you all.
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:20, Reply)

In other news
I've been so used to posting on b3ta naked that I now tend not to be aware of whether or not I'm wearing any clothes while posting on b3ta.

I'm now wearing just underpants, but my previous post was written in my birthday suit.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:20, Reply)

Morning Bert
you baby-raping, iguana's cock-sucking deviant.

How are you this frosty morning?
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:20, Reply)

Heeelllllllooooooooo Nurse!
I was aproper night owl in my student days. But I did used to work nights so maybe that explains it...

Nowadays I am normally asleep by *checks last sent texts* About midnight.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:21, Reply)

I haven't heard of Kasey Chambers
But just looked her up when you mentioned her, I can safely say from a 5 second glance at her Wikipedia page that I'm not going to be a fan of her music!

I've just put the Mothers of Invention on instead of Radio 1 (nasty pop music station VC, if you didn't know) and now feel a lot better.

Has anyone else heard the new Prodigy single? *weeps at how unbelievably shit he's become*

Edit: morning Bert and Badger!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:21, Reply)

Bertie!
First just let me say this :)
Your mum is the absolute best shag I've ever had. Better then you were in your sleep even :P
Love you lots. Mwah.
How're you?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:21, Reply)

Spakka
I was being Wakko and/or Yakko but after your revelation I think you have twisted the perception *cries*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:23, Reply)

Spakka
I also quite often post in the nude as i mainly visit when the lights are out and everyone else is asleep or other people are out

However I am clothed now.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:24, Reply)

Spakka
To much information. some of us are innocent of such things!

Sam that's bad, but at least I can sing it softly now.

I know I'm a night person, nothing like wandering about in the moonlight, or total darkness.

Morning Badger.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:24, Reply)

Sadly I'm fully dressed, I think they might frown on nakedness at work
I'd much rather be naked than wear clothes, far less hassle. The only disadvantage of nudism as far as I can see is the lack of pockets.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:24, Reply)

Cat
that's 19 kinds of wrong, my Mum is actually a man, so I'm not sure whether that would confuse your sexual orientation.

Love you too, you little flangehoover. I'm fine thank you, how are you doing?
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:25, Reply)

wow - I am OLD
vampy: your mum's cd? congratulations on good taste. I grew up raiding my parent's *cassette* collection. but they were more about the rock. and the decade was quite different.

where does the time go?
(fairport convention)
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:25, Reply)

I wouldn't say that Sam
Don't people regularly tell others to "shove it up their arse"? If that's the case - why not take them up on it?

EDIT: Thank you cackers!
and Bert - I'm lovely and well and clothed. And I am not confused at all. It was a dildo. a big purple one. And it was still bigger then your willy :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:26, Reply)

Bertie!
You are back. Glad to see.

Cheers.
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:26, Reply)

G'day. foecal-fumed fanny farts!
I barely slept last night, for some unknown reason my brain wouldn't turn off. I'm now a zombie.

Please form an orderly queue/cue/kew and have your brains ready for consumption.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:27, Reply)

Nonsensical as ever, cackers
glad to see it.

Que?
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:27, Reply)

*hugs everyone who is fully clothed*
Question for everyone. If you lived in a house with a lovely sexy woman *coughs* when your cachinnator girlfriend came round would you have the common fucking decency to shut your bedroom door fully before making her squeak? Or would you think your lovely sexy housemate would appreciate watching BSG with an added soundtrack
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:27, Reply)

I have to carry quite a lot of things about though
And I don't have a very large arse. Well, I've never tried to cram a mobile phone, a deck of fags, a large bunch of keys and other miscellaneous rubbish up it at once anyway.

@ cackers - yes! I heart Fairport Convention. Saw Richard Thompsons 1000 years of popular music the other week and it was amazing.

Edit: morning Lab
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:28, Reply)

everyone's favorite nutter
doing an all-nighter with my Stratocaster.

Question:

what should I wear for my return to the corporate mine-field? power suit or something low-key?

sorry, but no one else cares. wah.
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:29, Reply)

Hi Lab
How're you poppet?
I'm trying to out-weird Bertie.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:29, Reply)

TGB
I'd be as loud and as rude as possible, I'd ask if you had any condoms, and then I'd used them all.

You would find that all your towels had been sullied, there is a damp film on most of your toiletries, and most of your lipsticks had been up my bum.
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:30, Reply)

Badger
No, I'd leave the door open on purpose, just so you could hear me make her squeak.

But I would have the decency to ask if you wanted to join in.

Hi Lab, Bite me!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:30, Reply)

* un-twists TGB's perception *
Anyway, I must head off to work now. See you on the evening thread.

In the meantime, here's a pea-roast from last-night's thread - Greenlandic Hip-Hop.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:31, Reply)

Fairport
*Sandy Denny*

man, I love her. was too young to catch them. but yes, Richard Thompson. check.

Shoot Out The Lights!
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:33, Reply)

Good luck with that VC!
And regarding your previous statement relating to your big purple dildo, and it's subsequent dwarfing of Mr Bertitude's own magenta minge-masher, I have this to say.

The average length of a dildo or vibrator is considerably larger than the average length of the human penis. This is due to two reasons:

1. Women objectify the penis and are overly and unreasonably demanding in their expectations.

2. The average dildo length is somewhat skewed by Bert's butt plug, which the layman knows as Mt. Everest.

As an aside, the ascent team would like to report that last night Mr Bert finally managed to accommodate his second base camp, and expectations are high for a complete encapsulation by early 2010.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:35, Reply)

sizes
don't matter. your resident perv will just say that two of my special friends are equipped quite differently. and it is *all good*
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:38, Reply)

Labia
I don't have unreasonable expectations - mainly cos I don't give a trying fluck!

However - well done for bert. Have a chocolate frog and a medal.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:40, Reply)

They're still touring
but with a completely different lineup these days. I saw them a few years ago and they weren't that good.

Got to love a band who need a chart to explain the lineups!

Have seen Richard (with and without Linda) Thompson a lot of times though, as well as Teddy.

(PS - I'm almost certainly younger than you!)
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:41, Reply)

Okay two questions
1) what's a cachinator?

and b) what's BSG?

Answers please people.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:42, Reply)

Nice one Bert
Have a chocolate medal and a frog!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:42, Reply)

I'm guessing
BSG is BattleStar Galactica.....

*shamed of possible knowledge*

EDIT: Sam - how old are you?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:43, Reply)

al
1: en.wiktionary.org/wiki/cachinnator
2: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battlestar_Galactica
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:43, Reply)

*note to self*
don't ask these people anything ever again.

Lab were you too busy thinking of EP last night to get to sleep?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:43, Reply)

Flying trucks
al, BSG = Battlestar Galactica

Badger, EP was, as usual, far from my mind. She cannot enter, as there's a sign at the entrance to my subconscious that says "you must be this high to enter".
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:44, Reply)

Age-d
will be 38 for the rest of this week.
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:44, Reply)

Vamp
Don't be ashamed, it's a great TV show.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:44, Reply)

I thought the new BSG wasn't nearly as good as the old one
And I wasn't even that into the old one...

*not really that much of a sci fi fan*

VC - in chronological years I am 24, in terms of cynicism, bitterness, misanthropy and general knowledge I am over a hundred years old.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:46, Reply)

cheers Vampy
I hear you on (lack of) flying fucks. Life is too short for such nonsense. FUN is what matters. Whatever the shape/form.
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:46, Reply)

Sam
I'm not much of a fan of sci-fi either.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:47, Reply)

Morning all
I'm a night person as I usually get to sleep around 2am and hate getting up early.

BSG is wank, who's with me?
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:47, Reply)

Sam you made me chuckle
I'm seventeen on saturday.
however - my age in terms of maturity ranges from 13 - 90 apparently :P

Cackers : I totally agree. Hence the planning to get out of my country ASAP.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:47, Reply)

BSG
I must catch up on this... only recently even got cable. So behind the times. All my friends are addicted to this show.
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:48, Reply)

Sam
for some reason I thought you were older than that.

In my head you are kind of a throwback hippie :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:48, Reply)

Fucking Hell.
Bad day already.
One hour of sleep.
Dealing with angry clients.
Voice isn't working.
Left cigarettes at home.
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:49, Reply)

So Cackers
You'll be 39 at the end of the week.

Sam I can believe that sign, your subconscious is a veryt strange place.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:49, Reply)

Everyone always thinks I'm older on the internet!
I am sort of a throwback hippie. Except I wasn't there the first time round. Still partying like it's 1969 though...

Edit: chucks Kaol a Lucky Strike
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:49, Reply)

Kaol
Go grab a stabby knife and go stab a pig or something. You'll feel better.

Cackers - you're not old - chill.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:51, Reply)

yeah, but who's counting?
one of my *friends* actually insisted that I show him my drivers license, to prove that I'm really so fucking ancient.

my tobacconist thought I was just 30.

*lights a smoke for Kaol*
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:51, Reply)

Morning Kaol
That sounds bad.

Sam I wish I was partying like it was 1969 again, then I could have all the boobies I wanted, whenever I wanted them!

EDIT Cackers, you're younger than me, but onlt by a year. I have very few friends who are the same age as me, most of them are at least ten years younger.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:52, Reply)

@ Vampy
No fucking worries, dearie. Know that I was already ancient at your age. Impressed with your wit and knowledge. Rock on, sister.

Getting older is the price of survival. I have no issues with that.
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:53, Reply)

Oooh, cigarettes, thank you people.
I met a load of /talk boarders last night.
They were, without exception, lovely.
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:54, Reply)

Morning Becky & Kaol
Today is shit. BSG holds no interest for me. I want to go home and wank myself into a coma.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:55, Reply)

Cackers
Thank you!
Never been told that I possess wit before! /feeling chuffed.

And I think Age is good. I already have the beginnings of crows feet because I smile a lot.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:58, Reply)

Lab you're so classy
I'm still all sexed out from the weekend ;)
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 9:59, Reply)

GB, now that's classy ,)
But Lab you have an interesting job. Or is it a slow day?
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:01, Reply)

I'm all sexed out from this morning
I wish mrs al had been there too though.

*sad faces*
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Lab
Thanks for that image, not what I needed toady!

Badger you lucky bugger, I've got to wait till next weekend for sexyfuntiems.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:02, Reply)

Dok
who you having sexehfuntiems with? *curiouses*

Hey Al and Becky. I am well classy me
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:02, Reply)

You lot can shut up
About all the sexing.

*frowns*

So... Jim Sawfinger just came into my office to sign his accident report form.
Watching him try and grip the pen with his bandaged index finger has cheered me up no end.
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:04, Reply)

The opposite Becky
I've been stupidly busy for 16 months now, and it's rather tiring. My current cases are bloated behemoths, that slow everything down while i have other cases waiting to start.

I'm finishing one today, and the other within a week, so hopefully I won't have to do 10-12 hour days next week.

Still, my job security is pretty much assured, and I'll be getting a pay rise in a month or two.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:04, Reply)

Hi Becky
Haveing a good day so far?

Badger, with a lady, and not with myself, but I do have to travel to Dorset for it :(
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:05, Reply)

Dok
Congrats! And never ever begrudge distance when sexehfuntiem is involved.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:05, Reply)

My subconcious is very strange Dok, definitely
What say you the mascara snake? Bulbous, also tapered.

Does sound funny Kaol, I'd put up with that to have as cool a name as Jim Sawfinger though.

Shut up about all your sexehtime you bastards. Not fair. I was being groomed via gaz yesterday though so it's not all bad I suppose...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:06, Reply)

Not bad thanks Dok
I'm on a late start today, so just woke up about an hour ago. Listening to this and giggling
www.aolcdn.com/tmz_audio/020209_christianbale.mp3
*NSFW*

Woohoo for pay raises Lab, congrats

I know you is well classy Badger, I'm just jealous as it'll be a while til I get any shexyteim.
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:09, Reply)

Thanks Becky!
Funtiems will come in due time, of that I'm certain.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:11, Reply)

How do you know
it will be a while becky?
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Distance
is only a problem due to the fact that we can't see each other all the time, which is what we would both like.

Sam, you should see mine, I often think that it's fallen off the deepend into madness at time!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Sorry Sam...
But it doesn't count as grooming when I'm not older than you.

Also, his name isn't really Jim Sawfinger.
He's "Jim who put his finger on the edge of a fast-rotating metal jaggedy thing."
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:13, Reply)

Lab
Have you been watching Hellraiser again?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:15, Reply)

Distance and time constraints Al
but I have some toys here, so it's not all bad :)
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:17, Reply)

Dok
Close, I was listening to a song that used the sample.

Edit: If sextoys did not exist, womankind would find it necessary to invent them.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:17, Reply)

True
But if I did that I would definitely rename myself Sam Sawfinger. I might do it anyway just for the funnies, I've been wanting to change my name to something comedy for a while but haven't properly decided what.

And it wasn't you that I was referring to grooming. Although I do believe said groomer is also younger than me. Bah.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:18, Reply)

I wish
I was having Sexyfunteim.

I haven't had sexyfunteim in a long time :( I feel so unappealing.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:18, Reply)

VC
You're 16, you have no right to get emo about that sort of thing :p
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:19, Reply)

@Lab
She's 16, if anyone is allowed to get all emo it's her.

Not that i'm excusing emo-ness though. It's still wrong.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:21, Reply)

I'm still emo about the fact
That if I was 5 years younger, I'd be such an emo.
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:23, Reply)

I'm not being emo
I'm just wishing I had someone to have sexytiem with.

I like life. :)

EDIT: I have chocolate though. So it's all good.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:23, Reply)

Kaol the Emo
I would be even more scared *hides*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:23, Reply)

TGB
I'd just laugh. :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:24, Reply)

Kaol the emo
would just stab himself instead of other people!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:25, Reply)

Oh god it's all so shit
Wah wah wah

*stabs randomly while listening to shit music*
(beckyjsbx WOOP WOOP, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:26, Reply)

I'm only saying
That at 16, you have a huge chunk of your life to sacrifice to not getting laid.

*sighs, but remains resolutely un-emo*
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:26, Reply)

I think I was born way too late to be an Emo
so I was a bouncy indie kid instead :)
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:27, Reply)

Oh god no!
Don't make me fight you to the death like the other versions of me that've turned up.
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:28, Reply)

Lab
are you just being bitter because you're not getting any? I was discussing you with EP yesterday.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:28, Reply)

I was temporarily a goth
But I got better.

Edit: Badger, were you now? To what end?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:29, Reply)

aha I know
I'm not planning on doing that for a fair while though.

I like sex. I need a fuck buddy from my town. I will find one. Don't worry about that.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:29, Reply)

I think that Lab should get some.
Let's have a raffle.
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:29, Reply)

We were
and we reached a conclusive end.

What is the sub of the day on Wednesdays?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:31, Reply)

I bid 57p and a button to watch

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:32, Reply)

I was temporarily a chav at the sort of point other people were emos
I wore a big puffa jacket, and Reebok classics, shaved my head and took loads of pills

_{Any rumours that I may once have been a hard house DJ will be forcefully denied}

*hangs head in shame*

Still, got to be better than the sprayed-on jeans/gay fringe/self harm combo eh?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:32, Reply)

Badger
What was this conclusive end?

Becky, you want to watch? Not sure I could perform to an audience. It's why i blindfold every lucky lady I sleep with, and shout "Don't look at me!" on point of climax.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:33, Reply)

I'll bid £1.07
and a kabanos sausage and half my ribena to watch becky watching VC.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:34, Reply)

Aww I'm sure you could Lab
You could always use a webcam instead and shout at the angry red LED at point of climax

Al: Done.
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:34, Reply)

I thought we were having Kaol's Blind Date, and Lab was the prize?
They might have to get him a shorter chair, in case the contestants could see his mohawk sticking out over the dividing screen thing and get distracted by it.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:35, Reply)

You bunch of retards!
That's an auction, not a raffle.

I said a raffle, dammit!

Tickets are £5 a strip.
Who wants some?
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:36, Reply)

Al, which half?
It could be a dealbreaker.

Becky, are you offering to be the camerawoman?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:37, Reply)

Lab
The end was something I wouldn't write for everyone to see :)

Someone must know what the sub of the day is!!!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:37, Reply)

@Lab
you can have the half I haven't licked yet.

Unless you really want the other half.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:39, Reply)

TGB
Turkey today.

Gaz me the info then!

Al, I think you and I both know which half I want.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:39, Reply)

Oh okay then
*extracts third half from trousers*
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:40, Reply)

It's turkey TGB, it's on their website you fool!
Turkey is rubbish, I always seem to go to Subway on a Wednesday.

Edit: gah, beaten by Lab
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:40, Reply)

Nope, my days behind the camera are over
I'll just hide in the closet and shout surprise at inopportune moments :) Makes it more fun for everyone that way.

So who's going to be Lab's willing volunteer so the rest of us can watch?
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:40, Reply)

I was too lazy to go to their website
mmmm turkey
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:42, Reply)

We're watching Lab!?
Oh fuck, I thought we were watching VC and her fuck buddy.

Egg on my face!

I've just had a deeper think, and I was bidding to watch a 16 year old get some lesbo action.

I'm a bad person. I will go now.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:43, Reply)

Doesn't matter al,
The Police are already on their way.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:44, Reply)

VC's too far away
Leamington is a more reasonable distance.

I'm off to, gotta shower and get to work. Play nicely kids :)
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:45, Reply)

*volunteers*
Never know, I might get lucky!
(

Captain V, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:45, Reply)

You're Sting.
AICMFP.
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:45, Reply)

Bye Becky
And hellooooooo V!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:46, Reply)

Al, keep it in your trousers!
I'm still partly a Goth, but mostly a metalhead. To be honest I'll listen to most music.

Hi V.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:47, Reply)

hey V!
*snogs*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Becky
I'm considering putting up my hand for volunteering.

EDIT: Al - it's okay. I forgive you.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Hi V!
I'll volunteer as well, although the male:female ratio is looking a bit suspect at the moment.

I'll work under the theory that any sexehtiem at all must be better than none...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:48, Reply)

VC
Just because I'm named after a ladypart, doesn't mean I possess one.

If I did, I probably wouldn't be in work right now.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:49, Reply)

Yes you do lab
I've seen your fleshlight you hide under your bed!!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:51, Reply)

Lab
I know that.

it's because you're highly amusing.

Hi V!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:52, Reply)

Woohoo!
That GSOH thing must transcend gender preferences.

TGB, I can barely fit my fingers under my bed, stupid divan thing!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:53, Reply)

Meh
Don't know for sure.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:55, Reply)

Pffft!
I know for a FACT that you sleep on a park bench Lab.
The world is your bedroom.
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:55, Reply)

Can I check
Where you raising you hand in order to volunteer, or were you volunteering to put your hand up
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:56, Reply)

Yes Kaol,
And indeed the world is also my fleshlight!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:56, Reply)

I often like to
fuck the world.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:57, Reply)

In order
to volunteer.

So al - should have specified just to stop your mind from working overtime.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:58, Reply)

Lab
In no way am I your fleshlight, I'm promised to another.

I'd help you out if I could though.

EDIT Vamp, Al's mind doesn't work at all, never mind overtime!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 10:58, Reply)

I'm going to ignore VCs last comment
and instead imagine her putting her hand up Lab while Becky leaps out of the wardrobe going "Surprise!" the act of which would allow her to bum Lab without it being considered rape.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:00, Reply)

Is everyone doing Lab?
I want a go!
(

wanderlust, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:02, Reply)

Of course
you do whatever it takes Al.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:03, Reply)

Al
Don't let my obvious throbbing erection confuse you, that little picture you just painted sickens me to my very core!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:03, Reply)

Yo lusty
I just read Carrickfergus as "Carrickfuckus"

Lols ensured. *lols especially hard in Lab's direction*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:05, Reply)

Join the queue lusty!
It's going to be sloppy fifteenths by the time you get a go. Not sure if that'll make it more appealing for you or less.

Edit: in all my years of browsing filth and randomness on the internet how had I never heard of a Fleshlight?

I've just seen a video of one attached to a power drill and it scared me quite a lot.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:05, Reply)

I
feel used.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:06, Reply)

You love it.
Sam one attached to a power anything scares me a little
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:08, Reply)

I'm far too busy today
*reciprocates snogging and helloing*

I've always wanted to try out a fleshlight but out of morbid (yes morbid) curiosity rather than the expectation of it actually being good.
(

Captain V, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:11, Reply)

Okay, I imagine it
and it looked like this.

Who would have thought it eh?
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:13, Reply)

We'll buy you one
for your birthday V
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:13, Reply)

Do it!
I'll love you forever!
(

Captain V, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:15, Reply)

Al
Thank you for that lovely picture.

While I wish my *cough* assets were as well proportioned as that picture - they are not.

And Lab - you know you loved my hand doing that. Don't deny it. Even if it was in Al's imagination - don't deny the truth!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:15, Reply)

I thought a fleshlight
was just another name for cock?

Lovely picture al, who's that raping Lab?
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:16, Reply)

I love that lab's dong
Is longer than he is tall...
(

Captain V, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:16, Reply)

Bert
it's me!

And Lab's loving every second.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:17, Reply)

I can see that, Vamp
I recognised the lesbianity, but who's the other girl?
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:18, Reply)

I'm outraged at how I'm being treated!
That pictorial display was the last fucking straw!

*storms out*

*nips back in to grab the KY and plenty of tissues*

*storms out again*
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:18, Reply)

Well you thought
wrong Bert
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:18, Reply)

It's Becky
ain't she purdy?

And Lab. Please return. I'll be nice I swears. :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:20, Reply)

*returns*
*hands VC her wristwatch back*

You lost this.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:21, Reply)

TGB
What did I think wrong? Am I wrong again, why am I always wrong about everything? I'M CALLING THE POLICE.

It's becky? Nah, her tits aren't black.
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:21, Reply)

missed out
on this orgy.

it is my birthday soon...

*hint*
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:23, Reply)

aww thanks lab!
you're so considerate!

/puts on wristwatch
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:23, Reply)

cackers
I'll do terrible things to you for 50p and a copy of the Beano issue #437, but you'll have to come here.
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:24, Reply)

cackers
I'll help Bert.

But only because it's Bert.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:25, Reply)

comes
where
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:25, Reply)

They would be
if you covered her in paint.

Or if you gave her frostbite.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:27, Reply)

Come to Surrey
in leafy old Englandshire.

I'll show you my cumberland sausage.
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:27, Reply)

Bert
wrong on the fleshlight issue
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:28, Reply)

Mr Nong
you bunch of sex obsessed internet people.

I was waiting for a good time to join in but realised it's never going to be a good time.

Or it's always a good time... I'm not sure.

*gatecrashes*
(

warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:30, Reply)

thanks, lab
Flattered.

Sexmonkey - I know where Surrey is. don't think I've ever seen Cumberland sausage yet, tho.

Has had many a *banger*
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:30, Reply)

it's a good time to join in
whilst I decide whether or not to skive again once more. sick out or go in? show of hands?
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:33, Reply)

Hello Fuzzy!
S'been a while, how are you?

You're welcome, cackers, it was your profile pic that swung it. I loves me a bit of masonry romance.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:33, Reply)

hi lusty
there seem to be a lot of birthdays this time of year:)

February is clearly the month of awesome people.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:34, Reply)

Morning Fuzzy!
How's life?

Also, what's your professional recommendation for a week-long bad throat.
It doesn't feel rough, just inflamed.
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:35, Reply)

fuzzy!
Long time no see, how goes it?

Edit: Kaol, you need to smoke more. And drink lots of Scotch (Sam & PJMs standard answer to anything^TM). It won't make the throat better, but you will be able to forge a new career as a blues artist.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:35, Reply)

@ lab
a hard man is good to find!
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:35, Reply)

Hello Lab!
I'm overworked, underpaid and I've given up smoking. I'm a bit fraught.

I'm having a day off today and I should be Getting Things Done... but I'm skiving here instead :)

How's you?
(

warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:36, Reply)

Also, fuck off!
Everyone knows that December birthdays are a universal sign of awesomeness.
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:36, Reply)

FUZZY!!!
*leaps on fuzzy and gives her massive hugs*
If only HLT was here we could go for the old school happyfuzzytulipwarmbadgerfeeling hugs
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:38, Reply)

Cackers, I love you more now
Fuzzy, well done on quitting smoking! I too am overworked, would like to be paid more, and generally stressed with things.

I'm only on here because my work computers are chugging away on important scripts, and if i touch them they throw fits.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:38, Reply)

Hi Fuzzy
Cackers stay home, it's what I'd wish I'd done, there is bugger all happening here.

Surreyland Bert, which part?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:38, Reply)

How do you do Cackers
Welcome to the land of the semi-sane

Kaol the solution to your sore throat is to get married and then get banged up.

Always clears mine up.
(

Captain V, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:41, Reply)

Love you lots kaol,
you make me smile with your instant anger :p
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:41, Reply)

Ooh ooh more posts
Hello Sam and Kaol :)

Kaol... um... Are your glands swollen? IF it's not rough it doesn't sound infected... drink plenty of fluids, eat well and get your immune system working properly... you could try taking painkillers or anti-inflammatories, and eat lozenges to keep it lubricated.
(

warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:41, Reply)

hurr hurr
"lubricated"
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:44, Reply)

It's a common symptom
of eating the diseased internal organs of dismembered prostitutes. Not sure whether there's any hope for him.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:44, Reply)

Ooh ooh again!
God I'm slow at typing today!

Badgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadger etc, *happyfuzzytulipwarmbadgerfeeling hugs* yay!

Oh and Kaol, sperm also is pretty good for throats. Allegedly.

EDIT: Lab, I sniggered when I typed "lubricated" too. I have to fight the urge to snigger when I say it at work.
(

warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:44, Reply)

Lab
you beat me to it!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:44, Reply)

group grope
I love you internet pervs. Know that I am invading Blighty as of 21 Feb. Perhaps we can bash. Or at least have a pint of bitter and a smoke.

Kaol, you arrogant Sagittarius. My existence proves the perfection of all thing Aquarian. Give the smokes a rest. Prolly a good thing you forgot them. (I should take my own advice.)

*goes off to craft genius email, explaining why I won't be in today after calling yesterday and saying I would be there*

feck it
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:44, Reply)

I was feeling a bit left out
:p Missed you lots and lots Fuzzy! Congrats on the smoking though!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:45, Reply)

Kaol is a Capricorn
As am I.
Other signs suck each other off.
(

thealternativefact, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:46, Reply)

VC
I'm quick to the trigger nowadays ;)

Cackers, how long will you be staying for, and where are you visiting?

Fuzzy, I often look at porn at work, have done for years, but the urge to point, giggle, and beckon others over to laugh at some guy with a tiny pecker, or midget porn, is still strong within me.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:46, Reply)

can't resist
maybe some *salty gargle* is indicated for Kaol.
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:46, Reply)

Aye fuzzy it's good to see you again
Shame I'm too busy to chat much *dashes*
(

Captain V, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:46, Reply)

Er...
The glands were up really bad over the weekend, but have gone down slowly.
I'm eating lots of lozenges, they've replaced my chewing gum fixation.
Just wanted to check with my friendly local pharmacist :p

Also, Vampy, my anger is fantastic. Sod off.
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:47, Reply)

Also Badgerkins
I just remembered to answer your text, I was at work when I got it. Work is taking over my life :(

I haven't smoked for nearly five weeks now. I nerver thought it was possible. I still really really really really really want to smoke tho. Hmpf.
(

warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:48, Reply)

Lab just lubricated you?
Gah! How many fucking posts so quickly!?

Jesus people, get a life! Or a job!
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:48, Reply)

London
haven't bothered to book accommodations yet. taking my little brother so he can the fuck out of Amerika before I send him to skool.

we plan to chunnel to Paris as well. is that thing still on? wasn't there a fire or some sort of trouble?
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:49, Reply)

*rumages in bag for phone*
ooh yay! I feel extra special now!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:49, Reply)

Oi, fuck off!
I'm not gonna suck a man off, just to make my throat better.

He'd have to pay me. At least £100.
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:49, Reply)

Hullo fuzzy!
*hugs*

Well fuck me sideways. The woman I'm working with who talks a lot just went mental!
I'm actually slightly scared.

Ohhh and clendrix! Alright you sexual, sexy thing.
(

wanderlust, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:50, Reply)

^ al ^
you can have a job. my boots is dusty.

*winks*
(a)
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:51, Reply)

kick her while she's down and mental
it's your only hope
(

djtrialprice, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:51, Reply)

Cackers
The tunnel is still going.

Why don't you organise something on the calendar for an evening in London (preferably a Friday or Saturday) for drinks? Just pick a date, whore the calendar entry around, and you'll have people signing up.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:51, Reply)

Midget porn...
I think that's the last thing I have yet to discover in the world of pornography. And the other day I was looking at huge clits, which is kind of the opposite of tiny peckers, and I think they have the opposite effect too... far from making me giggle and want to say "look at this!" to nearby people, it made me want to run screaming "aaargh my eyes, get it away from me!"
(

warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:52, Reply)

Lusty i'm not sure I can
Kaol - I was agreeing with you that your anger is fantastic.

it makes me laugh. a lot. sometimes you, al and bert talking makes me laugh so hard my stomach hurts.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:52, Reply)

mentals
I feel your pain - gotta write to my psychopath supervisor next. would rather keep wanking with you all.

can I just add that Ikea makes a really shit french press. fucking coffee nearly scalded me. I'm going to break this thing with a broomstick. grr.
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:54, Reply)

Funny, Fuzzy
Huge clits make me run to Church as well.

It's a throwback to when Al dressed as a lady, got me shitfaced in a bar, and dragged me to his place. Somehow I managed to twig something was up when he tried to persuade me that the only way he could achieve an orgasm would be to ram 'her slightly enlarged clitoris' up my arse.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:55, Reply)

Look at DJ trying to slide in here
and join our conversation! :p

Also I am fully supportive of bashage! woo! *dances*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:55, Reply)

Also
Hello Dok, Lusty, Clenders, Al... did I miss anyone?

*group hugs and snogs ah what the hell let's orgeh*
(

warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:56, Reply)

Vampy,
You should of seen the three of us back in those glorious days before Off Topic existed...
The Mighty AlBurt Kaol, rampaging across the QOTW reply threads like a priapic dinosaur.
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:57, Reply)

gay midget porn
why not? actually, to be honest, porn doesn't work for me. am too 'mental.'

I will put something up, after I write my skivey missive. only lie to bosses and cops. oh, and parents, too. some can't handle the truth.

please suggest some good pubs to meet. I prefer a true local, best if there's no fucking television or loud music.
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:58, Reply)

London's a big place.
Where're you gonna be?

I'd recommend a "Sam Smiths" pub. No music. No TV blaring. Cheap booze.
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 11:59, Reply)

Cackers
Throw a Bash in Birmingham - it's nice and central and cheaper than London.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:00, Reply)

Pffft!
There's only two of you in Birmingham!

London's where it's at.
Well... It's where I am. For bashes.
Not to live. Obviously.
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:02, Reply)

Light
I think you should throw a b'ham bash!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:02, Reply)

Lusty
So, has your co-worker been committed yet?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:04, Reply)

Oh
So there is going to be another bash. Maybe this time I'll dress normal, just to confuse you lot a bit.

I remember the KaolAlBert rampages, they made me laugh all the time.

I try and be funny, but I don't find success very often, I'm more of the straight man. Good old 'Gutshot' that's me.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:04, Reply)

I try and be funny
But a lot of people don't get my humour. It just comes across as cynical bitching quite a lot of the time.

I feel accepted here though!

Edit: if a bash is in Birmingham it means people will have to go to Birmingham, which is never a good idea.

I'm going to be visiting friends in London at the end of this month, I may throw a bash myself! I'd have one round here but it'd be a bit of a drive for most of you so nobody would come.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:07, Reply)

People
laugh ~~with~~ at me

*cries*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:09, Reply)

Well,
Considering that you lot have Al, Burt and myself to thank for creating Off Topic, you could show a little more fucking respect.

EDIT:
I demand a daily tribute of SunMagic orange juice, and 20 silver Lucky Strikes.
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:09, Reply)

Silver?
Pussy...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:11, Reply)

Kaol
you can have a hug and be fucking grateful

*hugs*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:11, Reply)

Sam
Because we're all cynical bitches?

EDIT: The problem with a bash in London is that London is a feculent suppurating hell-hole.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:11, Reply)

Oh Badger
I don't laugh at you, if I did you'd hit me with your big purple dildo!

Kaol, respect, pah.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:11, Reply)

Lab
Not yet. Though I might have to be if she doesn't shut her fucking, scraggy, AIDS face soon.

I'm going to have to make a cup of tea to get away from her for a few minutes.
(

wanderlust, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:12, Reply)

Sam...
Bad throat at the moment.
Although I've got Reds at the moment as the shop ran out of Silvers.

TGB, am I right in thinking that himjim had Lucky Strike rolling tobacco?
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:12, Reply)

Dok
you make me laugh all the time.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:12, Reply)

I have three
big purple vibrators. I only seem to buy purple ones...

I think he did Kaol.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:13, Reply)

Mmmm smoking
I have a purple vibrator but my garish orange one is bigger.

EDIT: not that I smoke my vibrators, you understand. Although... *looks for lighter*
(

warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:14, Reply)

rampage
angry people fuck best. if you don't believe me, I have references.

yes, London. remind me to tell you all about the first time I was there and literally rode around the city (can't remember which motorway it's called) and then left without stopping. was on a motorbike trip and was too broke to even afford a place to sleep. spent the night outside of Coventry in some shithole called Julie's Pantry. asked the busboy what time they closed and he shouted *NEVER* into my face. brilliant.

ah yes, I am, as always on the overshare. I will research the pub that's been suggested and see if it will work with my likely locale.

Birmingham isn't that far. Do the trains still go? Or has the snow broken them all.

*Hello* Clendrix. Capricorns is cool.
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:14, Reply)

Vamp
I'm glad I make you laugh, loads of 'normal' people think my sense of humour is like something that has curled up, died, and then been forgotten!

EDIT Badger that'd be even worse/better, beat with all three of them!

*points and laughs*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:14, Reply)

I remember someone having Lucky Strike baccy
It may well have been himjim. I've never heard of it...

I have to confess I smoke silvers these days as well, since skinning up with reds makes my lungs bleed with the amount of joints I smoke, and remembering to buy one sort of fags to smoke and another to skin up with is too much for my abject lack of organisational skills.

I definitely prefer smoking full fat fags when they've got a filter on though.

Last year I smoked 600 in two weeks whilst I was working on the festival, pure chain smoking! Wheezed like a 90 year old asthmatic for weeks afterwards. And I have a fag lit in every single photo of me, nice.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:16, Reply)

heheh
Story of the day. Man smuggles pigeons in pants
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7869301.stm
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:17, Reply)

Dok
at least you have a sense of humour I and other b3tards can understand.

I don't think many people get mine.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:18, Reply)

600 in two weeks?
That's... Quite impressive.

I had a weekend where I smoked over 100. Did not feel well after that, considering I normally have less than ten a day.
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:20, Reply)

Halp for the retarded please
I am trying to do a financial statement in Excel. I have done them before but I can't remember how to make it be in pounds. I'm using an old one and just updating it and for some reason it's all in dollars, and I can't make it be in pounds. Bother. Please send halp. And chocolate. And a slave boy with a fan heater to stand nearby and waft it gently around me.
(

warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:23, Reply)

It was being outside all the time
and walking around being exceptionally stressed, and barely sleeping at all (festivals are fun!)

And the fact my sisters brought me 600 back from Thailand.

It's one of the few times in my life I've properly chain smoked (i.e. lit the next fag off the last one as I'm finishing it)

Edit: @ fuzzy, select the cells you want to be in £, right click/format cells, in the Number tab pick either currency or accounting format and you can choose the currency there. I usually prefer accounting as it lines up the decimal points so looks neater.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:24, Reply)

It's a B3ta thing
Not a lot of people get our humour.

600 in two weeks, I'm not surprised you felt bad.

I did 100 in a day once, I felt like I'd died the day after!

EDIT Fuzzy, highlight the column then select 'Format', then 'Cells', you'll find it in there.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:25, Reply)

fuzzy
format, cells, currency, pounds :)
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:25, Reply)

STOP TALKING ABOUT SMOKING
*inhales fresh air*

*sobs*

EDIT: Thanks Badger, hooray! It's in pounds!

EDIT again: Thanks Dok too! You're all luffly helpful peeps :)

EDIT: Thanks Sam too!

And if anyone else ninjas their posts I shall be here all day. Which isn't a bad thing.
(

warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:26, Reply)

I answered before badger!
*sulks*

Edit: I answered before Dok too!

*sulks more*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:28, Reply)

Someone just came into the office
And gave me a fungus that they'd found growing on a bit of old wood outside.

It's awesome, it looks like an ear!
And the guy said "Yer, like... Fort I'd giv you it, coz you're like a fungologist, aren't you?"

So... One more for my list of future comics...

Kaol Black - Fungologist
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:28, Reply)

Kaol
That would rock as a storyline.

I wish I could do that kind of stuff, I've got some fantastic ideas for single strip comics.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:30, Reply)

Sam
You edited after I had wrote mine! And mine was better and easier to read and I win so hahahahah in your face

:p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:30, Reply)

sounds awesome kaol
however
you know the drill.
pics or it didn't happen. I wanna see this fungus!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:30, Reply)

Dok,
Anyone can draw a comic, even Burt.
Just give it a go!

EDIT: I've got pictures. I'll upload 'em when I get home.
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:31, Reply)

Nope
I posted my original post, then edited as soon as I saw fuzzy's above, I just beat you to it I think.

Plus my answer was much more comprehensive :P
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:32, Reply)

Right
All the earlier talk of smoking is making me want one, so I'm going out to smoke, see you in a bit.

Just remember, If I didn't see it, it doesn't exist!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:33, Reply)

Well Fuzzy
got it from mine so mine was obviously comprehensive enough :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:34, Reply)

Well
I edited my post in order of whose posts I saw.

Which doesn't necessarily imply accuracy.

But thanks again to all of you coz I've finished the thing I was working on now so I can go out to play.
(

warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:36, Reply)

Bye Fuzzy, come back soon!
Kaol, ask us a question, I want to know things.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:38, Reply)

humor and ciggys
seem to together well, don't they.

I used lurk here about 1000 yrs ago. returned and joined for the laughter. didn't realize there would be bonus of angry horny hysterical weirdos. nice feature.

I would love to have a smoke myself, but have rampaged myself into a state of true illness. must ignore cravings.
(

cackers, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:39, Reply)

I have a question
If like in Groundhog day you had to relive the same day over and over but with no consequences what would you do
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:44, Reply)

Right...
If you had to fight an evil (or good, depending on what you're like) duplicate of yourself, how would you win?
Considering that s/he'd likely know everything about you, and how you'd fight 'em.
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:44, Reply)

TGB
Murder. Cannibalism. Robbery.
Mostly.

Er... What happens if you die? Does it just reset?
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:48, Reply)

sorry to always pop in and out without warning
@tgb - I like to sneakily slide in, yes ;)
(

djtrialprice, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:48, Reply)

it's more a question of what
wouldn't I do.
(

djtrialprice, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:49, Reply)

Badger
I would tell a lot of people exactly what I thought of them!

Kaol, I would turn into a giant cat and eat them!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:50, Reply)

TGB
I'd get laid, steal stuff, punch bastards and drive fast (in other peoples' cars).

Kaol, interesting question. I'd get you to kill and eat the evil clone. To get around the 'how could you tell' question, all evil clones have goatees. FACT.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:50, Reply)

Lab
I must be an evil clone then.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:53, Reply)

afternoon people
re: groundhog day.

not much I wouldn't do without repurcussions. As long as the fruits of my spoils remained (cash/food/whatnot) remained the next day though
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:53, Reply)

*strokes chin*
Hmmm... Does that mean that there's a good version of me out there somewhere?
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:53, Reply)

Dok & Kaol
Yes.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:54, Reply)

Kaol
I though you were the good one.

I've been told that I have a doppelganger, some of my friends even tried to talk to it!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:57, Reply)

You don't get to keep anything
That's not how it works :p

Also Kaol if you died you'd wake up the next day as that is the "save point" :p

I'd join forces with my evil self. Unless I'm the evil one... in which case I'd make the good me go to work while I had lie ins and watched more Dexter
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:58, Reply)

If I met the "nice"
Version of me, I'd just keep him tied up in a shipping container, and beat the crap out of him when I needed cheering up.
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 12:58, Reply)

Is that not
what you did when you got trapped in there before xmas?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:01, Reply)

SHUT UP!
I forgot about that, Dok.
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO REMIND ME?

*frowns*

Right...
I'm going for lunch, a smoke and a cry now.
(

Cawl, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:03, Reply)

i'm off for the night
Love you all heaps!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:09, Reply)

See you tomorrow Vamp
And Kaol, have a good lunch, remember stay away from packing containers!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:11, Reply)

*runs around*
I'm quite hyper today.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:17, Reply)

You shouldn't
have eaten all the sweets then!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:24, Reply)

Can't be arsed reading all the replies
Have I missed much since I had to start doing some work this morning?

Probably not.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:26, Reply)

Fucking Hell!
This woman is INSANE.

She just said to me "Ohhh when you go backpacking, make sure you don't get raped or murdered. It would ruin your trip."

*cries*

I don't like her.
(

wanderlust, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:28, Reply)

To be fair to her
It would be a sour note in your travels.

*Punches the insane chatty woman to the ground*
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:30, Reply)

She's right though, Lusty
Getting murdered would ruin your trip. You'd have wasted the return portion of your ticket for a start.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:31, Reply)

I know she's right.
But I don't need to be told to try and avoid being murdered.

I worked that one out on my own.
(

wanderlust, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:34, Reply)

Awww poor Lusty
Tell the chatty woman you would rather be killed and raped by a one legged tramp than listen to any more of her dull stupid ramblings
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:34, Reply)

K2
Think of a Scotman to think of that.

Lusty if bad things happened to you when you were away, we'd all be sad, so don't let them happen, OK.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:34, Reply)

Hmm, yes
I suppose it is somewhat superfluous advice!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:34, Reply)

you should
rape and kill her - that would show her
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:35, Reply)

Flesh
I couldn't do that!

It would mean having to look at/touch her vagina.

*voms*
(

wanderlust, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:37, Reply)

If I was having a Groundhog Day
I would ask every attractive woman in the company if they fancied a quick one. I can think of 10-15 I consider attractive so I figure I'd get at least one "yes".
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:38, Reply)

I consider myself reasonably attractive, Light
would you fuck me?
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:41, Reply)

Oh Bert
I don't swing that way but if I did have a thing for shit-stained brain-damaged tramps you'd be at the top of my list.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:47, Reply)

lusty
then rape/murder by proxy should suffice
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:48, Reply)

Bert
I think that might be a no.
(

wanderlust, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:48, Reply)

That's not a no
he's trying to sweet-talk me into bed.

*winks at Light*
*shows brown*
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:49, Reply)

He's just playing hard to get...
I just had game soup for lunch, it was amazing!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:53, Reply)

Lusty!
Sorry darlin...just saw your 'hello' way back up there.
*squeezes like a gorgeous spot*
(

thealternativefact, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:55, Reply)

For Bert
A Restraining Order is coyly flirtatious and a boot to the nads is foreplay.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 13:58, Reply)

You're really starting to rev my engine, Light
Now spit in my eye and tell me you're going to punish me by putting drawing pins up my japs eye and ringpiece.
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:00, Reply)

Nice try
But the chastity cage stays on until Valentines Day.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:06, Reply)

This thread is far too long.
It's

Too

Long.

That is all.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:06, Reply)

In your dreams, Al

(

thealternativefact, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:07, Reply)

No, no
In your dreams Clendrix. In your dreams.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:09, Reply)

Oh yes!
That's right.
*dreams*
(

thealternativefact, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:10, Reply)

*is to long in Clendrix's dream*

*apologises for being so long*
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:21, Reply)

Gone a bit quiet in here, hasn't it?
Anyone about? No?

*leaves again*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:26, Reply)

Come back Sam.
I'll entertain you.

Or not, it's fine, I'll just stay here on my own. Don't worry about little old me. I'll survive all alone.

*sobs*
(

wanderlust, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:30, Reply)

*stares at lusty's boobs*

*stares hard*

*ignores awkward silence and keeps staring*
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:32, Reply)

*invades Clendrix's dreams*
ahahahahah!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:34, Reply)

Hello al
Enjoying the view?
(

wanderlust, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:35, Reply)

My pants are wet

(

thealternativefact, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:41, Reply)

*returns*
*stares at lusty's boobs*
*is entertained*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:42, Reply)

Drixy
Why are your pants wet?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:43, Reply)

Lusty and Badger are here.

(

thealternativefact, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:44, Reply)

clendrix
You naughty little minx.

I'm going to rub my boobs up against you.
(

wanderlust, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:46, Reply)

/pants dissolve

(

thealternativefact, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:47, Reply)

*gets in line for boob rubbing*
Today I have been changing the footers on hundreds of documents from 2008-2009 to 2009- 2010

joyjoyjoy
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:48, Reply)

*keeps one eye on lusty's boobs*

*points other eye at TGBs boobs*
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:49, Reply)

*jumps on clendrix*
*jiggles*
(

wanderlust, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:50, Reply)

*laughs at al's gurning face from pointing his eyes in completely different directions*
*tries to jiggle moobs*
*realises he doesn't have any*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:57, Reply)

Where's your third eye, Al?
/suspiciouses
(

thealternativefact, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 15:01, Reply)

New thread, you buggers, you.
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post360709
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 15:26, Reply)

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