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This is a question Off Topic

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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Fuck the lot of you
have HSH you pack of cunts.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Just kidding. have some hugs and fluffies and kittehs. :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 8:38, 249 replies, latest was 17 years ago)
Hello you little monkey
How's tricks?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 8:39, Reply)
I'm in a terrible mood
somebody set things right by kicking a kitten for me.

EDIT Fucking hell, I just realised I had my first ever dream about B3ta last night. I dreamt that we were being forced to delete all of our comments, profile info and previous QOTWs. This is a bad sign, B3ta has finally taken over my real life too.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 8:39, Reply)
I'll kick you
cats are awesome. I wouldn't call myself vampyreCAT if I didn't love the fluffy things.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 8:41, Reply)
and I am good thanks Dok
bopping away to fbs and eating lollies.

/sighs.
Fine bert. Have a motorboat if it helps.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 8:42, Reply)
Go on then
but aim for the crotch. It's small, but very sensitive.

I'd rather have a paddle boat, or a sail boat, if it's all the same to you.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 8:42, Reply)
Morning Cat, Minge, Monkey
How goes it?
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 8:44, Reply)
Cat minge monkey?
*sets about devious cross-species breeding*
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 8:45, Reply)
Moning crotch sniffers
We have a lovely ginger and white kitty in today for castration and he likes to hug you...and then chew your hair. Quite sweet really :)
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 8:47, Reply)
Oh, and VC
if you like FBS, check out the comedian Dylan Moran, I think he'll quite clearly explain my feelings towards Norman Cook on that particular matter.

Right about now, the Funk Soul Brother, Check it out now, the Funk Soul Brother...

I mean, is he bringing cake?

EDIT Becky, your feline castration ahs just made my day, thank you very much. Makes me feel slightly better about myself, that does.

More creatures need to be castrated to appease me.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 8:48, Reply)
Yes, Bert
The Cat Minge Monkey is native to the jungles of Peru, I believe, and is sometimes seen in London railway stations with a blue duffel coat and small suitcase.

Oh, no, wait. That was a bear, not a monkey.

Morning Becky. i feel sorry for that cat who's about to have his bollocks lopped off. But I know it's for the best (although not from his point of view).
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 8:52, Reply)
why bert
is it because that cat is actually physically able to be castrated and you're not?

hmm - do you like norman cook then? :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 8:52, Reply)
I did quite like him back in the day
but Dylan Moran kind of felt that there was very little reason or message in his music, and he's a very funny man.

I'm not able to be castrated because my cock snapped off when I tried to insert it into al's incredibly tight mimsy, almost a year ago now. I do miss it so.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 8:55, Reply)
well there doesn't seem to be much reason or meaning to it true
but I like the beats, and the style and the way it all sits together so I don't really care :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 8:57, Reply)
You should still check out Dylan Moran
and the sitcom, Black Books. It's very funny stuff. Unlike myself.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 8:58, Reply)
bert you're funny
it's more in a "we're laughing at you" more then "we're laughing with you" kinda way.

EDIT: don't worry - I'm checking him out :-D
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 8:59, Reply)
Ning!
Dylan Moran is ace, one of my favourite comedians.

I can't be arsed with work today, but my day was brightened by sickipedia -

"It appears that Elizabeth Fritz attended court this morning in Austria having eaten a full cooked breakfast.

Although somebody should have told her she still had Daddies Sauce round her mouth and down her top."

Tee hee.

How are we all?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:04, Reply)
I'm glad I missed that Bert
Can't say I care for FBS very much, I've listened to a bit of his stuff as my brother likes him.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:06, Reply)
Bert
You delightfully foul man. I'll kick some kittens for you and I'll kick some seagulls as well. Fucking things.

*gropes Hitlercock as well*

I'd ask if you were happy now but I know you can't express positive emotions as you are dead inside.

Hello everyone else!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:08, Reply)
Just a quickie before I head off to work
I really must stop meeting you guys like that.

Anyway, may your St. Patrick's day be filled with teh fluffeh kittehs and may your pint-glasses be filled with Guinness.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:12, Reply)
FBS?
Dylan Moran is awesome!
EDIT: St. Patrick's Day? Oh, shit. I'm staying at home tonight, no time for "yeah, I'm Irish, me! Look, I'm wearing a stupid hat! And drinking Guinness!".
Fuckin' pricks.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:14, Reply)
hey TGB, dok, aa, kaol,
how are you all my lovelies?

/huggles until you're all slightly aroused.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:17, Reply)
Morning muntjaks
How are we all today? I, of course, am hungover.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:18, Reply)
Morning all
Happy Paddy's day and all that.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:18, Reply)
Lic
when are you *not* hungover?

hey ethel :) long time no see.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:21, Reply)
Good morning all
How is everyone? The weather's lovely here again, I don't want to be stuck in an office!

As I posted in the other thread, the Fatboy has made some good tunes but went a bit shit in more recent times.

Dub Be Good To Me FTW!
(username1, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:22, Reply)
Oh I forgot it was paddys day
I'm going to my dads later so I can't drink as I am driving, but I will be getting presents! WOOOOOOO
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:22, Reply)
Top o' the mornin' to ye!
Happy National Guinness Day!

And in other news, I am still wracking my brains about what a friend of mine may have overheard through an inadvertently activated phone. I may have described her son as being a little shit... and my other friend saying he'd "been there".

Oh dear.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:23, Reply)
VC
When I'm drinking, naturally.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:24, Reply)
@VC
Slightly aroused?

No chance!

VERY aroused?

More like it ;-)
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:25, Reply)
VC
You utter cocktease.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:27, Reply)
Eh,
I'm ok.
Got some work to do.
And the coffee person put milk AND sugar in my coffee, but I didn't notice 'cos of the lid.
Why do people have sugar in coffee?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:28, Reply)
ahahah
you all love it. Admit it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:29, Reply)
Because
they are bitter twisted freaks who need sugar to try and prevent themselves from inploding in a big sour ball?

But by that theory you should have sugar in your coffee... :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:29, Reply)
@Kaol
Because it tastes like shit?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:30, Reply)
Kaol
I'll make you an awesome coffee when I get there - don't you worry about that :D No sugar. free of charge.

The free of charge bit is so I don't get stabbed.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:30, Reply)
Hmmm...
I'm still waiting for a good reason.
I'll stick with bitter though.

EDIT: Er, thanks... Hot water... Coffee... Simple!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:31, Reply)
Because they don't actually like coffee
but feel like they should be drinking it because they're a grown up and it makes them look cool and that.

So they put loads of sugar in and ruin a perfectly good beverage.
(username1, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:31, Reply)
Vampy
I don't do slightly, in anything I do, sorry.

Kaol, Fat Boy Slim.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:32, Reply)
@ VC
Admittedly I love a hug as much as the next person, however I do prefer mine *ahem* more bouncy, if you catch my drift.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:32, Reply)
user,
You talk well good sense, like.

EDIT: Fat Boy Slim? Really not my cup of tea. I'll stick with something darker and more bitter.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:32, Reply)
@Piston Broke
Are you a chubby chaser? Tee hee
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:33, Reply)
Kaol
Is that coffee with no sugar in it then.

I can take it with or without myself.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:36, Reply)
AA
are you calling me chubby?

and piston, dok...... I know you don't do anything by halves. :D
Hence why I did it.
Just cos I could.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:37, Reply)
Yeah. No sugar.
Sometimes, if I'm badly hungover I'll have sugar and milk.

But rest of the time, black for the win.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:37, Reply)
Hey AA sorry didn't see you there
I'm upset you have removed the fetching pictures from your profile :(
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:37, Reply)
AA
I am certainly not. Although I have done my time with the larger ladies. But before I dig a hole for myself, I'm going to end that conversation right there.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:38, Reply)
Black, no sugar
And fiendishly strong. That's how to drink coffee.

And it has to be made under pressure, a cafetiere is acceptable in an emergency though.
(username1, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:38, Reply)
Ah user, a man after my own heart!
Ristretto is my current favourite.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:41, Reply)
@VC
No no no, I would never refer to such a pretty girl as chubby, never!

I was referring to his comment of how he likes his hugs more bouncy! So of course he must be talking about the girls so fat that when you hug them, the ripples fight back. What?

@TGB
I've readded an old pic of myself, am considering updating my profile a bit!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:41, Reply)
User
That's the best way to have coffee.

Vampy you're just teasing us.

EDIT AA, really fat girls, you just slap them and ride the waves.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:41, Reply)
Dok
it is true.

I'm sorry.
I'll stop now.

/goes to lurk.

EDIT : omg - dok! AA! that's terrible! /stifles a laugh.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:43, Reply)
Morning dearies
How are we all this morning?

Just dropped the car in for a pre MOT service - On the upside if anyone needs a large roomy venue for functions then my anal cavity should be available once I've finished being fucked in the arse and sphinceterally widened to Goatse proportions by the automotive industry.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:43, Reply)
Ristretto is pretty good
It's an espresso worth of beans, with half the water.

I'd rather drink a double espresso though I think. At home I usually use a moka pot, which makes coffee sort of halfway between espresso and thick Turkish coffee, it's well good, I drink it in mugs not piddly little espresso cups though. I use no. 6 (mental strong) beans and grind them myself, of course...

Edit: @ AA - hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. That is all.
(username1, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:46, Reply)
I like my coffee like I like my women
Ground up and in the freezer.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:47, Reply)
I am a proper Pom (to make VC feel at home)
I drink tea, dependant on type as to whether I lob cow juice into it or not.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:47, Reply)
Vampy
I never said stop!

It is funny, and not supposed to be takes serious like. ;)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:48, Reply)
Dok
Ever played 'Fat Girl Rodeo'?

Go up to the biggest, fattest, ugliest girl you can find in a club/bar. Put your arms round her from behind, lock hands, and whisper "You Fat Bitch" in her ear.

See how long you can hold on!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:48, Reply)
No, Chains!
Grind it immediately before you make the coffee!

@ Ethel, I think the word you're searching for is Pom...

I drink a lot of tea as well as coffee, I have a rather serious caffeine dependency.
(username1, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:49, Reply)
I can't see the picture
*weeps*

*dances*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:49, Reply)
AA
You're terrible. I must try that though.

Tea is the devils brew, and it doesn't even taste nice, with or without milk and sugar.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:49, Reply)
excuse me?
A limey? well its the thought that counts.

Oh all right then.
/goes around the room and hugs everyone until they're all aroused a little bit. :D

Love you all :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:50, Reply)
Sounds all good stuff.
I haven't had Turkish coffee in bloody ages.

I normally have a double ristretto for lunch.
At home I tend to drink tramp-cider instead of coffee.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:50, Reply)
tea is awesome
I like it builder styleeee. Strong no sugar.

Because I am sweet enough *smiles*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:51, Reply)
Pfffft!
"builder style" means it has about 5 sugars in it.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:52, Reply)
I hardly ever drink coffee
Currently at work I am drinking green tea with mango.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:53, Reply)
.
Tea is fantastic, strong, one sugar.

Coffee is shit straight from the Devils arse, before being roasted in piss.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:54, Reply)
Well
I'm a healthy builder...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:54, Reply)
Tea
Can't stand the stuff, and it rots your insides.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:57, Reply)
So does smoking,
And you're hardly Mister Clean-Lungs :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:58, Reply)
does not rot your insides
it's full of antioxidants.
shut up dok :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 9:58, Reply)
It's coffee that rots your insides, not tea
Tea is actually pretty good for your insides.

Anyone who puts sugar in tea should be executed.
(username1, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:00, Reply)
Yeah Kaol
So does smoking, so I'd rather not screw myself up any worse than I am already.

Vampy, and Tannin, which is used in curing leather.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:01, Reply)
.
I can't really talk about things being bad for you.

2 years ago, I went through a stage of drinking (at least) 2 litres of lucozade a day. That stopped when my doctor warned my just how much damage I was doing to my body.

1 year ago, I went through a stage of drinking 4 cans of Relentless a day. That stopped when one day it felt like I was having palpatations.

Now, I drink mostly Blackcurrant cordial or Vimto, hell of a lot cheaper.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:01, Reply)
and is also in WINE
so again - shut up. you like wine don't you? Yes? yes! thought so. nerrr.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:01, Reply)
Actaully
I don't drink wine unless I'm at special events, never got a taste for the stuff.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:04, Reply)
Morning, Fuckholes
I hate a lot of things today. A particularly fat, loud, annoying colleague is one.

I also had a nightmare last night that involved being attacked by three massive hornets.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:05, Reply)
I'm about to have my second black coffe of the day

As everything has gone wrong at work today, i can almost see the money haemorrhaging out of the window!

bollocks...
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:05, Reply)
Lab
/huggles.
offer him a peice of cake and then eat it in front of him.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:06, Reply)
I only drink wine
If it's free.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:07, Reply)
Morning Lab
Kill the fucker then, we'll give you an alibi.

Ape, that is not good.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:07, Reply)
Poor lab
At least you have an awesome weekend ahead of you where you get to see me!!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:08, Reply)
Wine!
My favourite is this one
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:09, Reply)
Oh...
Quick and dirty QOTW answer:
b3ta.com/questions/pythonshame/post388333

To save you sifting through the shite, y'know.
Not that this isn't.


EDIT: TEN POUNDS? For a fuckin' bottle of wine? I can get 10 cans of K Cider for that.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:10, Reply)
VC & Dok
I'd rather just remove his tongue. Or force him to remove it himself...*gets ideas*

Badger, yes I do have a great weekend lined up!

Best wine = Montepulciano D'Abruzzo.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:12, Reply)
@Kaol
It's a treat.

Usually I drink cheaper ones.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:13, Reply)
AA
A creamy mouth feel?

Not sure about that.

Wow there is a fish that can hold thing in it's hand like pectoral fins, it's the Butler's frogfish, from Australia.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:13, Reply)

Real men drink red wine.
(username1, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:15, Reply)
*looks suspiciously at vampyrecat*
On the internet, nobody knows you're a Butler's Frogfish.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:17, Reply)
The South Africans do a nice pinotage
And the Californians a nice zinfandel.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:20, Reply)
@username1
Check my profile, it's pretty clear I'm not a 'real man'.

Haha.

Nah, I'm not a fan of Red Wine.

If we're going on about best alcoholic drink, this is the best I've ever had

(The official website is borked)
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:21, Reply)
*looks nervously back at light*
on the internet - no one knows you're just a bot.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:22, Reply)
Is it weird
that I drink water.

I'll also have the odd beer when in pubs.
(I helped save b3ta! gareth_alien will be human again at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:23, Reply)
Nope,
I like drinking water.

My breakfast is normally a pint of water and a cigarette.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:24, Reply)
I'm drinking
water now!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:24, Reply)
Well this is all terribly interesting.
I drink stuff too.

Ning mongs.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:25, Reply)
al edit
stuff Spluff
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:28, Reply)
Speaking of "Best Of"
Could we see an all-Spankyhanky QOTW Best page this week?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:27, Reply)
Right, back
So, covering recent topics. You guys should try hazelnut coffee, it's awesome. Green tea with a hint of jasmine is gorgeous, but for everyday drinking, I like my tea strong, sweet and milky.

Oh, and fat girl rodeo? Might be worth a try...
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:29, Reply)
Nah.
I kinda hope not.
Oddly though, my first post this week has gone pretty high up my profile, which is fuckin' unexpected :\
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:30, Reply)
I dunno
my story is now top of my answers. *crosses fingers*

*realises she doesn't care*

Yo Clendrix what would you like to talk about then? Or you can kick some seaguls with me. Squarky fuckers
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:31, Reply)
I don't wanna talk about nuffin.
I'm supposed to be typing my essay up.
*hides from Kaol*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:33, Reply)
What!
Then no one is to talk to you until you have finished *looks stern*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:34, Reply)
I pretty much only drink water

but I also love a nice cold glass of milk, it's cool for cats don't you know!
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:35, Reply)
*cries*
*lurks*
Shit, a gaz from Kaol.
*runs away*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:36, Reply)
Due to mastitis
In cows, and "maximum allowed content", milk is approximately 1% pus.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:36, Reply)
mmmmmmmm
pusarific! Gives it a bit of a zing.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:37, Reply)
ningles all
Int milk brilliant?!

remember that?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:39, Reply)
@HLT
Good old Paul Whitehouse!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:41, Reply)
@ AA
a comic genius, no less.

I can never decide whether to laugh or cry whenever I see Ted & Ralph.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:45, Reply)
Hi Tulip
How's the theatre?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:46, Reply)
I loved the whole
Ted carrot your turnip wifes potato dead. Tomamto

thing heheh
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:46, Reply)
I'll be back soon folks
i'm off to have a shower and get ready for bed.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:47, Reply)
Mmm lesbian milk shower

*cheers up*
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:48, Reply)
ello Dok
it's all theatrey thanks! how's the furry beasts?

It was PW's big eyes as Ted that got me every time. Tragic little old man. *sobs*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:48, Reply)
Paul Whitehouse
Comic genius.

Furrys are all furry and pouncy.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:54, Reply)
Lesbian milk showers
That's brought up some rather weird mental pictures. Pleasant ones mind.

/Edit

Paul Whitehouse's "Oh bugger" sketch always had me in stitches without fail.

That, and "Jesse's Diets/Fashions/Whatever"

Genius, the whole lot.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 10:58, Reply)
do they ever stop pouncing?
And what are their names?
My guess, for the jar of sweeties, is Dasher, Masher, Basher, Pouncer, Mincer and Blitzen.

have I won?

Morning Piston, how goes it? Apart from the delicious milky lesbian thoughts, that is.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:01, Reply)
This week I have mainly been wearing
nipple clamps
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:04, Reply)
If I had a ferret
I'd call it Long-Rat The Magnificent.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:05, Reply)
One's called Batman
The other four don't have names, I'm crap at naming things :(

Nipple clamps Badger, how's that working for you?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:07, Reply)
Morning tulip
I am for some reason suffering from extreme dizzy spells. Hopefully I can cure them with caffiene. But thoughts of lesbians wrestling in milk are helping. I am having to stay firmly sat behind my desk however.

*Enjoys memories of fit Ozzie women wrestling in chocolate flavoured custard*
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:07, Reply)
ahh folks?
I don't wrestle in custard.

Just chocolate fountains.
And I'm back from my shower.
Clean. Wet. Dripping.....
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:10, Reply)
*hands VC a towel*
Don't drip on the carpet that's in my top 5 pet peeves
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:11, Reply)
Must not think about dripping Vampy
Must not think about dripping Vampy.

Must not think about dripping Vampy.

Must not think about dripping Vampy.

Must not think about dripping Vampy.

Must not think about dripping Vampy.

Must not think about dripping Vampy.

Must not think about dripping Vampy.

Must not think about dripping Vampy.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:12, Reply)
@ Dok
ooh, ooh, sir, please sir, can we name them then? Can we can we can we?

*puts hand up in air in manner of keen schoolchild or Hermione from harry potter*

@ Piston - maybe your corset is on too tight. you should loosen some clothing.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:13, Reply)
I'm in the bathroom.
the tiles (and your carpets) are fine.

I was talking about my hair dok. :D

EDIT : but thanks for the towel TGB.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:14, Reply)
*slaps dok*
For being a perv and writing a stupid long pointless post I had to scroll through.

People who take their computers into the bathroom confuse me. What's the point?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:16, Reply)
I was joking
for teasing's sake.

I'm actually in bed. With milo. Yummo!
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:17, Reply)
VC
You might not have done but your fellow countrywomen from Melbourne did :P

And you're being very unfair to us gents considering you're:

a/ Quite young
b/ Lesbian
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:17, Reply)
Piston
you make me laugh.
nuff said.

You think it's unfair? I watch TGB and HLT and BGB have at each other on hsh every day. And I feel so left out.
And my other half is no where near me. :( This is how I amuse myself to pass the time.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:21, Reply)
hahaha kaol
you just got into my good books for like, evaahhhhh.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:22, Reply)
Aw, VC!
*pounces, hard*

*covers you in chocolate custard*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:23, Reply)
@VC
Stay single!

It's much more fun!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:24, Reply)
Eh?
I decided it was a little much and deleted it...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:24, Reply)
Sorry Badger ;)
Of course Tulip, you lot can name them.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:25, Reply)
*oooof*
tulip! I felt that! it was gooooooooood.

*huggles and covers you in chocolate custard while laughing*

EDIT: kaol - it still made me laugh.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:25, Reply)
Milk
Good in tea, and on cereal. Don't like it much on its own.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:25, Reply)
MILK MILK!
/cravendale
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:27, Reply)
Yay!
Let the Naming of Dok's Furries begin!

@VC, glad you enjoyed it poppet. Although you'll have to have another shower now, since I got you all dirty.

*dirties*

edit@Badger - OMG they are the best ads ever!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:27, Reply)
TGB
Fuck your stupid text message noise!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:28, Reply)
You love all my noises Lab
I don't have it on this phone though :(
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:28, Reply)
well maybe you could join me tulip
since I got chocolate custard all over you too :D

We'll get each other clean and stuffs.

or not.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:29, Reply)
Badger
Thank God you don't, it angers me.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:29, Reply)
It's an awesome text message noise!
You're just jealous you can't have it on your stupid iPhone
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:32, Reply)
One of my mates
Has the "grenade tag" noise from Gears Of War.
It's awesome.

*skerrunch*
*beepbeepbeep*
*BOOOM*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:33, Reply)
*reappears briefly*
Phones which make odd noises get on my wick. Mine goes "ring ring" when someone calls me and makes a discreet little beep when a text comes in.

But that's just because I'm old.

(It's not, actually. But you lot will say it is!)
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:37, Reply)
Oooh, ok
I'm feeling all experimental and curious today. why not.

*sheds chocolatey clothes*

*zooms into upside-down milky lesbian schoolgirl shower*

I want my text messages to say MILK MILK too!
How do I do that?


edit@K2 - K2! It's been aaaaages! How are you? And yes. It's cos you're old. *teases*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:37, Reply)
For the record,
My own phone rings when I get a call, and vibrates when I get a text.
Exciting.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:38, Reply)
I'm with K2 here
My phone's usually on silent anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:38, Reply)
HLT
www.milkmatters.co.uk/#/ringtones/
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:39, Reply)
kaol
it depends on where your phone is as to how exciting it is.

wow. tulip!
/blushes and covers eyes.
I don't think this is such a err good idea but oh what the hell.
/takes off chocolaty clothes and joins tulip.
I will behave I swear! See? I'm not looking!
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:40, Reply)
Morning Miss Tulip
Yes, I've been a bit busy at work and play recently to spend much time on here. And this is but a brief interlude before I have to bugger off again.

And I'm trying hard not to think of you and V-cat in a milky shower, but failing. Damn.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:41, Reply)
My phone is always on silent, it just vibrates
I haven't used ringtones or text message noises on a phone since I got my first one with vibrate in about 1997. I fucking hate things making unnecessary noises, like people who leave the keypad tones on. What purpose do they serve?

And don't even get me started on the faux 'shutter' sound FX for phone cameras...

See also computers, if you're putting a message box on the screen that I'm looking at, why the need for a horrid noise as default? And why make a clicking noise when I click a link in IE or My Computer? System noises get turned straight off on any computer I'm using, regardless of whether it belongs to me.
(username1, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:44, Reply)
For the sake of decency
*replaces VC with Eliza Dushku in the Tulip shower scene*

Ahhh... wholesome!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:44, Reply)
User is on a proper old man rant today
*runs search for old men on b3ta to find out who he is*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:45, Reply)
@ Badgerface
Ta lovey!

@VC, it's ok, I'm not looking either.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:45, Reply)
thanks lab
I feel so loved right now.
/fucks off.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:46, Reply)
Ah VC
You know i'm only messing!

Still, Eliza Dushku... hot!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:47, Reply)
Holy Crap
if Eliza Dushku was in a shower right now I would so be there. Offering to wash her back, maybe a bit of a shoulder rub. Things would probably get quite heated because she is so on my To Do list (Lesbian)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:47, Reply)
*turns round in shower*
you're not VC. Who are you?

*fears*

username1 is also bugging me. I think you're Devil in Tights. no?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:47, Reply)
I am feeling ranty
I have four days to get a new application up and running in some shape or form so I can demo it to the boss people on Monday afternoon. It's a fuck of a lot of work, I have been doing it at home in the evenings and I still don't know whether I'm going to get it finished.

People are responding to my extreme stress and busyness by constantly interrupting me with bullshit that I don't need to know about, gah.

So I'm spending rather more time on b3ta than I should today!

@ tulip - nope, I'm not Mr Tights...
(username1, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:48, Reply)
yeah yeah sure sure
Tulip you've got some stuck in your hair still..

/gently washes out chocolate and turns back around so not looking.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:48, Reply)
HLT
she was Faith in Buffy. She is hot. Do not be afeared!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:48, Reply)
Ooh, you're very gentle VC
Badger, come join us in nudey lady showery fun!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:49, Reply)
I promise not to look badger
promise!
/covers eyes.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:50, Reply)
I'm showering with Eliza :p
Lab, I just remembered those women talking about the sausagefest *laughs far too much*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:50, Reply)
Badger
Hahaha! I had forgotten about that! The best of passing conversations to overhear ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:52, Reply)
Must not thgink of B3tans in the shower.
Must not thgink of B3tans in the shower.
Must not thgink of B3tans in the shower.
Must not thgink of B3tans in the shower.
Must not thgink of B3tans in the shower.
Must not thgink of B3tans in the shower.
Must not thgink of B3tans in the shower.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:52, Reply)
fine then
be a snob tgb.
me and tulip will have all the fun. While not looking.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:53, Reply)
Aww Dok
Always spell check before a copy/paste bonanza ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:54, Reply)
Hmmm...
Eliza Dushku. Incredibly fit. Anyways!

My phone doesn't vibrate or make any noise, but my watch does...
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:55, Reply)
I'm not being a snob
I'm just enjoying a shower where I don't feel dirty by totally oogling the other naked woman in there with me.

*washes Eliza's front*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:55, Reply)
Mobile Phones
When I get a call mine plays the theme from Dr. Who, it just vibrates when I get a text though.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:57, Reply)
a bit harsh, Lab
I don't think Dok's got much blood in his brain right now

*gets all soapy with VC*
*while not looking*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:57, Reply)
well
i am not feeling dirty sharing a shower with hlt.

/cleans HLT's back gently with soap. not looking.

Me and a friend used to share showers when we were younger. it was no big deal.
Then she got boobies. then I had to concentrate on the wall a lot more.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:58, Reply)
*knock knock*
Who's there?

Why Angela Jolie is getting in my shower too! Best shower ever.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 11:59, Reply)
@ all females
Are you trying to give all us gents raging stonk-ons?

Because I really need a pee and you've made it so I can't leave my desk at the moment.

Being afflicted by nature's thumbs-up in work is not pleasant.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:00, Reply)
Nuh uh
fuck of TGB Angelina is MINE
/growls and steals ange into mine and HLT's shower.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:01, Reply)
Yeah Lab
I really should look before I paste.

No Tulip, I'm not looking, because I don't think Eliza Dushku is particularly good looking. And I don't want Lab shouting at me again!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:01, Reply)
yay, angelina's here!
phwoar!

@Piston, yes, yes we are. because we can.

*glees*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:06, Reply)
Fine VC
Grace Park and Tricia Helfer have just turned up with Hayden Panettiere so I'm good
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:06, Reply)
I had to google Eliza Dushku
But now I've got the point.

And a stiffy
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:07, Reply)
besides
I have a feeling all this complaint about your "stonk-on"'s or whatever you want to call them, is just a lot of posturing. bet you don't really have a boner. :D

EDIT: that's cool TGB - I just want Ange. And Katherine Heigl.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:07, Reply)
@ Tulip
That's just unfair. There will have to be consequences for your actions. But I am unwilling to picture myself in a hot shower with John Barrowman, Johnny Depp and Christian Bale.

/end of list for mancrushes. No, I can't explain John Barrowman.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:11, Reply)
well yes
but we can't wee standing up. and this is our revenge.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:13, Reply)
Er, Tulip
Woman can wee standing up.

It just makes a bit of a mess, that's all, owing to the lack of a directable nozzle.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:15, Reply)
HLT
Women can, they have to use a Shepee (i think).
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:16, Reply)
well if you're all going to be picky
we can't wee accurately standing up without the aid of a shewee or other ghastly appendage.

*huffs*

*carries on soaping VC and Angelina*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:18, Reply)
Aww HLT
What's with the huffing? You used to love me!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:20, Reply)
aw lab
I can do huffy love.

*loves you, huffily*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:21, Reply)
fuck me sideways and up a wall
I'm tired.

sorry HLT I have to get out before I collapse in a shower.

/gets out and goes to bed still dripping wet and soapy.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:21, Reply)
What with all this talk of being wet and naked
I'm off for a swim.

Laters.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:21, Reply)
Shewees
For some reason the very thought of those gives me the creeping horrors. That, and mooncups *urgh*
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:22, Reply)
bye VC
sleep well!

Oh noes, it's just me and Angelina now!

@Piston - it's cos they're awful, that's the reason. and the mooncups, eww. I always sing along to the Moonpig ads but sing Mooncup instead of moonpig.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:23, Reply)
*dons hat*
*tumbleweeds*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:33, Reply)
Tulip
At least you still had Angelina to keep you company.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:36, Reply)
Al
Is that you hiding again!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:43, Reply)
*kicks Al in the groin*
God I had to go and do some work. The cheek of it
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:45, Reply)
@al
I wondered what that was, but decided I had just imagined it.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 12:52, Reply)
200
haha
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 13:04, Reply)
Is it?
Ha!
I'm going for lunch.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 13:04, Reply)
I am back from lunch
But I have been lumbered with writing a bunch of test scripts. Deathly dull, but has to be done.
So I shall be even less connected to the conversation than I normally am.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 13:19, Reply)
I'm back too
My kilometre of aquatic exertion is now but a memory.

Doesn't half get quiet around here over lunch, eh?
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 13:21, Reply)
And I'm back from my lunch
It does get rather slow around here. Luckily nature's thumbs-up has subsided now.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 13:29, Reply)
I must depart once more
Work beckons.

Later, y'all.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 13:38, Reply)
I'm back as well
I had a lovely Chicken Khorma for lunch, what did you all have?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 13:38, Reply)
I had a chicken tarka for lunch

it's like a chicken tikka only a little 'otter
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 13:47, Reply)
I had
A Cat-AIDS sandwich, and a wagon-wheel.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 13:49, Reply)
Battersea would only give me a cat with AIDS
Then my phone rang with the AIDS song from team America and they wouldn't give me a cat at all.




Everyone has AIDS!
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 13:51, Reply)
I had
smegma on toast.

too far?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 13:52, Reply)
Well
That's all cool then, except the 'ot one!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 13:52, Reply)
Lunch
Chicken Arabiatta with a cheese, ham and pickle toastie :D
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 13:54, Reply)
Mmmmmmmmmmm
Toastie, is there nothing that they can't do?



/Homer
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 13:57, Reply)
My lunch of grilled panini was like having sex with your sister

Initially satisfying, but leaves you feeling slighty wrong afterwards.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 13:58, Reply)
I had chicken pasta
Cooked by my good self. All ethically sourced from the local market, natch.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 13:58, Reply)
I had sandwiches
Chorizo, cheddar, houmous, cherry tomatoes and peppadew peppers. Nom nom nom.

Of the eight or so people that were in the lunch room, over half did not know what houmous was, and only one of them had ever tried it*. I fucking despair sometimes, it's the 21st century!

*This straw poll was inspired by someone asking me what the garlicky smell was; I responded 'houmous' as I expected everyone to know. But apparently not.
(username1, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 13:59, Reply)
argh
i have not had any lunchnoms yet

now I am dribbling slightly
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 14:00, Reply)
*feeds HLT cake*
nyom nyom

I have to say I've never had houmous but I am aware of what it is
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 14:01, Reply)
ooh
ghost post!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 14:11, Reply)
*noms cake gratefully*
thankoo miss badger

I can proudly say that not only have I eaten houmous, I know that it is mashed up chickpeas and stuff and it is made of win.

Are we all having jolly afternoons?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 14:12, Reply)
I had beef and guinness pie with string beans and sweetcorn.
I could have had chips but the pie was topped with mash so I didn't see the point.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 14:13, Reply)
I moved it to its own thread TGB
I thought we might be able to discuss it on here as everyone in my office is already sick of me stamping round in a rage and shouting about it, and trying to locate some Catholics I can take out the back of the building and euthanise.

@ tulip, yay for eating houmous!
(username1, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 14:14, Reply)
Yeesh, silly git
But then again, believing in a book of quite possibly spurious origins is not exactly the best of starts to begin with.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 14:19, Reply)
houmous is nom
pie is nom
chips are nom
it's all nom

/slightly delirious
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 14:22, Reply)
Oh dear...
I seem to be suffering from a bad case of wind. I accidentally farted in someone's face earlier :S
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 14:26, Reply)
And
It killed the thread!

*hands hat*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 14:49, Reply)
And take the hat back Dok

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 15:09, Reply)
Na
You can have it Badger :)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 15:17, Reply)
and give it to me
*cries*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 15:17, Reply)
We both
were a bit quick of the mark there.

Only 8 minutes not the usual 10.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 15:25, Reply)
*cough cough*
*looks around*
*does idiot grin*
*waves*
*farts*
(I helped save b3ta! SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 15:31, Reply)
What's that smell
Oh hi Spikey
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 15:32, Reply)
I suppose it did, didn't it?
My guffs do have a habit of getting me into trouble :S
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 15:37, Reply)
*dances*
The phrase "giving oral to a woman is more enjoyable than ramming a cock down your throat" has earned me a little post stick note with a trophy drawn on and the caption "Gayer of the Office 2009"
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 15:54, Reply)
Woohoo
What a prestigious award.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 16:05, Reply)
Yeah I'll keep it
forever and ever. Or at least until it falls off my computer and gets eaten by desk
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 16:06, Reply)
TGB
I can't say as I am surprised by your comment. Unless you happen to like cheese of course.
(I helped save b3ta! jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 17 Mar 2009, 16:10, Reply)
Let's all take our tops off
and have a CHESTY-FIEST-Y
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 16:17, Reply)
How about you take your shirt
off Bert and we all point and laugh at your weedy pale body
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 16:22, Reply)
I'll have you know that
it's a hairy, weedy, pale body, and the ladies love it.

Nah, who am I kidding? Most women are repelled by the sight of me with my top off, and so am I, but I like my tattoo and that's good enough for me.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 16:45, Reply)

Most women are repelled by the sight of me with my top off, and so am I, but I like my tattoo and that's good enough for me.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 16:49, Reply)
Usually
they don't even have to see me.

I can repel women over the internet, by phone, text, email and carrier pigeon.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 16:52, Reply)
So what brought on the name change
Realised you were less of a sex monkey and more of a sex pest
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 16:59, Reply)
Naw
Sex pest and sex monkey are the same thing really.

Somebody nicked my name, and I was bored of it anyway, nobody takes you seriously when your surname is Monkeysex, so I've changed it by deed poll, and it's all better now. I'm even getting respect from co-workers and women.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 17:02, Reply)
Somebody nicked your name?
What an utter donkey-felching smegma-dribbling pilonidal sinus-fucking bastard.
(Bert Monkeysex2 loves teh cock, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 17:19, Reply)
Anyone else had a fucking hectic day?

Is it wrong to get drunk on a Tuesday night when I have a breakfast meeting in the morning and will stink of booze?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 17:25, Reply)
Ape,
I fully endorse that plan.

I've had a fuckin' mental day too.
Off now though.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 17:27, Reply)
Drinking it is!

As endorsed by Kaol so it must be good...
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 17:28, Reply)
Me too!
I've just got home.

And made a sandwich.

And eaten it.

But, you know, long day.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 17 Mar 2009, 18:31, Reply)

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