Hoe sweet Hoe


I got bored of looking for home pictures.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 9:11, 102 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hoe!
Haha!
Right...
I've got the Super-Big-Health-And-Safety-Inspection-Extravaganza at 11.

Not good.
ARGH!
( Cawl, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 9:14, Reply)

howdy!
how's it all going my pets?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 9:15, Reply)

That sounds fun Kaol
oh no wait... I am confusing fun with mind numbingly boring again!

Yo VC
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 9:16, Reply)

*purrs and rubs up against VC*
I'm all good thanks, how art thou?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 9:19, Reply)

what's everybody
been up to? Aside from mind-numbingly-boring meetings?

EDIT: ooooOOo ethel, unless you want lesbian cat action then you *may* want to stop doing that.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 9:19, Reply)

You pipped me TGB
Mine didn't have a picture anyway.

Morning all!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 9:20, Reply)

That's because I am a
bazillion times better than you chains
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 9:21, Reply)

hi Light
TGB play nicely or else no hanky spanky for the rest of the week!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 9:28, Reply)

Fucking useless illiterate mongs
Just received a spreadsheet of data to be fed into one of our apps. The first column is the URN or Unique Reference Number.
In this spreadsheet, sheet 1 has records XXX001 to XXX150 and sheet 2 has records XXX001 to XXX125.
Not only is it not a number, not only is it not unique, it's not even unique WITHIN THE DOCUMENT.
Is there nobody left on this planet with two braincells to rub together?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 9:33, Reply)

Aww LiC
I feel your pain.

I sent an email to all users in the UK (8 or 9 offices) asking to update their anti-virus software, with full simple instructions, full "READ THIS" subject and High Importance.

I asked 6 people in my own office whether they'd done the email, 5 of them hadn't read it, and one of them didn't understand it.

*sigh*


VC: Well maybe I would!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 9:38, Reply)

sounds like my school
I'm fucking pissed off with school. They've "Upgraded" the system except only in one classroom. So if you do the work there and save it - it won't work in any other fucking classroom.

EDIT: Ethel - I have a *someone*. but what the heck. /snogs
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 9:40, Reply)

I was going to say, "present company excepted"
But then I decided you should all have to prove yourself.

Except TGB, who has boobies beat me to the HSH thread.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 9:40, Reply)

Morning everyone!
Are we about to get some Ethel and cat floorshow?


I'll be in my bunk.
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 9:54, Reply)

Haha,
Firefly!
Ten points.

Right, I'm off to shout at wood-monkeys again.
Catch you guys later!
( Cawl, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 9:58, Reply)

byyyyeee
have fun Kaol!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 10:04, Reply)

I don't play nice
and that's why everyone loves me
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 10:08, Reply)

I wish I had some monkeys to shout at
That would be very therapeutic.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 10:12, Reply)

shout out everything
to us then. What's wrong?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 10:16, Reply)

Pick me! Pick me!
I'm a monkey, and I can ignor a good shouting!
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 10:16, Reply)

You love me
for my boobies DJ, which is also an acceptable reason :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 10:23, Reply)

and you love me
for my cockteasing abilities when I try really really hard.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 10:25, Reply)

If you liked that DJ
you'll love some rocking tunes from this up and coming new band form Manchester, they go by the name of Oasis and they really are pretty unique in their sound.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 10:29, Reply)

Morning all
I've just packed my office into two crates, my desk looks kinda empty now with only a PC, and a jar of Hot Chocolate on it.

Anybody fancy a cup?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 10:31, Reply)

She is
whenever she gets a cock in her hand she gets a terrible case of the drymimsies.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 10:37, Reply)

Al's right
Hi Dok! /huggles
How be you?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 10:40, Reply)

And it's usually followed by a case of the spunkyhands

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 10:43, Reply)

yeah
Drymimsies is usually accompanied by a repeated spasming of my hand and it ends badly :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 10:45, Reply)

Not bad Vampy
Bit bored now that I don't have monkey on my desk to play with.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Herr
I'd say come and play with my monkey, but it sounds oh so wrong.



yet oh so right
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 10:50, Reply)

ethel
I'll play your monkey.

You'd love it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 10:53, Reply)

VC
I would miss, oh so much!

/dorothy


*dances with Toto, like The Lone Ranger*
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 10:55, Reply)

Play your monkey?
Sounds like "the role of Ethel's monkey will be performed by vampyrecat".
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 10:57, Reply)

In C Major
With TGB on BongoBoobies
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 11:01, Reply)

Oh Al's here
joy.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 11:02, Reply)

Hi Badger
Your present is coming along a treat :)

Yes Red that is oh so very wrong.

Vampy are you teasing the boys again?

Hi Al.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 11:10, Reply)

sure am Dok
it's loads of fun. For instance, I came back from a run a little while ago, hot, sweaty, flushed, panting, hair sticking to my neck...
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 11:14, Reply)

Oh I forgot about the present
*glees hard*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 11:16, Reply)

I shall look in HSH no more.
It's full of hot, sweaty, nubile, young women (well it feels full) and I'm too old for that shit. I might get aroused and feel the need to pester the wife (shudder).
Where will it all end.
Oh it has.
That was quick.
*Puts it away*
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 11:27, Reply)

It ended
so quickly you had a chance to adjust the formatting? Good show!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 11:30, Reply)

*grabs the hat*
*dons it with great gusto*
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 11:47, Reply)

Good
you borked it gooooood
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 11:56, Reply)

Don't make me bork you too
I think I have proved my borking abilities. So fear. FEAR!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 11:59, Reply)

Hot and sweaty Vampy
Was it good for you then?

Porky I know what you mean, all these youngsters and their nubile ways!

Yes Badger, and I hope you like it, It's done with my own paws.

EDIT Red, you are weak in the ways of the borken, just ask DG, and I'm fairly good at it myself.

Always two there are, a master and an apprentice!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 12:02, Reply)

it was
amaaaaaaaaazing for me.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 12:09, Reply)

Well
that's all good then.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 12:10, Reply)

yep
dum dum dum. LAST DAY OF TERM TOMORROW!!!!
yayayayay!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 12:15, Reply)

Lucky you
After tomorrow I've still got 3 days to work untill I go to Edinburgh.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 12:19, Reply)

Ooh VC
Do you get to dress casual and bring in board games?

Just back from daydreaming through a very important TUPE meeting.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 12:20, Reply)

Since Dok has borked the thread again
I shall take this opportunity to revive it briefly. Before it flops about limply for a bit then dies again, anyway...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 12:22, Reply)

Hi DG
How's things? I hope you and Tourette's are all ready.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 12:24, Reply)

noooo
I have all final year subjects. On the plus side I finish at 2:30. woo.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 12:24, Reply)

All ready for what, Dok?
Oh, I see. Yep. Today's my last day in the occife. Yay!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 12:40, Reply)

Wel
That's all good then DG.

This time next week I'll be in sunny Scotland. I finish on Wednesday.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 12:45, Reply)

Woo hoo for Scotland!
Right, back to work for me!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 12:48, Reply)

Go DG
Get your work finished.

So who else is still here?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 12:50, Reply)

meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I'm still here. :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 12:57, Reply)

Vampy
I thought you'd gone to sleep, since it is late in the future.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 13:00, Reply)

I'm back
Had Subway nom nom nom
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 13:00, Reply)

I just got back from lunch
This week I have been making a concerted effort to eat lunch with different people (as the people I have ended up eating with are quite dull). Ate with some more interesting folks, one of whom asked if I'd been on holiday as they hadn't seen me around! Hopefully I can keep up the variety.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 13:01, Reply)

Oh
What did you have on it Badger?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 13:02, Reply)

Woo
What a productive morning. Done some design work, done some writing up of report, and discovered that one of my external HDDs is full. Woot. Now it is less full, after moving some stuff onto the other one.



Anything exciting been happening?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 13:15, Reply)

Sub of the day
Italian BMT with onions, peppers, gherkins, sweetcorn and lettuce and sweet onion sauce. mm mmm mmmmmmmmmmmmm
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 13:16, Reply)

Hi PoD
That does sound productive, and fun.

Badger if you left out the onions that would almost be a perfect Subway sammich. Om nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 13:21, Reply)

no no - i'm not tired
hence I'm not asleep. it's 11:27pm.

EDIT: I want to brag - I got a 91% on my psychology paper. woo. And my teacher's asked if she can photocopy it and use it as an example for the rest of her classes.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 13:27, Reply)

Wow Vampy
That's exellent. Brag all you want.

I wish it was that time here, then I wouldn't be at work!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 13:35, Reply)

ahah
I'm pretty pleased. Seem to have finally found my niche in school.

Also - I have chocolate.
/shares around.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 13:41, Reply)

Vampy
You can be the HSH tame Psychologist. Just remember don't psychoanalyse us too hard, you may not like what you see.

I have Hot Chocolate, a lovely bedtime drink, I drink it in the middle of the working day.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 13:44, Reply)

i hate
the end of the month.

means i have to prepare all the fucking account paperwork, which involves trawling through mountains of paper, then downloading the bank statement, and listing everything possible against the paperwork I have.

Then I have to take the bloody stuff to the assessors.

And its late, so they're gonna charge me more. Fucksocks
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 13:49, Reply)

that tells me
that you're nice and relaxed but that you use food to comfort yourself. hahaha.

Nah it was written on ethics, specifically on the film Nell and how the Ethical Principals were breached. I'm pretty passionate about ethics actually. She said my writing was "very sophisticated and of a very high quality" and I was all "awww shucks *scuffles foot*".

I have a story to tell you about eggs and chickens actually - want to hear it?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 13:49, Reply)

TGB
What's BMT?

edit: VC, having the Ethical Principals violated doesn't sound like the sort of thing they'd enjoy. Did you mean Principles?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 13:53, Reply)

I haz hot chocolate too
yay!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 13:56, Reply)

Eggs & Chickens
That sounds fun, do tell.

Comfort myself with food, nope just computers.

EDIT Hot CHocolate FTW!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 13:57, Reply)

and I dunno
italian meats?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 13:57, Reply)

The acronym BMT stands for Biggest, Meatiest, and Tastiest
but it has pepperoni, salami, and ham in it
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 13:59, Reply)

Mmmmmmmmmmm
Meat, is there nothing that it can't do!

/Homer
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 14:01, Reply)

okay
well I was making an omlette today and I pulled some eggs out of the cooler. Now you should know we have chickens at my house - and our newest 'aquisitions' are Isa Browns. Not the most attractive chickies out there but by god they lay well. Massive massive eggs.

Anywhoo so I've broked the first egg into a cup to check for gooby bits - fuck me! it's a double yolker! into the bowl it goes. I break the next one in. FUCK ME! It's a SECOND double yolker!

That was the point where I whisked them to perfection, drizzled chilli oil through it and cooked it.

It was yummmmmmmmmy.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 14:05, Reply)

Hmm
I give the story 9.2/10 for grammar but 4.3/10 for afternoon reading amusement
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 14:10, Reply)

I want chickens, but I'm not allowed to have any :(
What a story, I can't remember the last time I had a double yoked egg, not that I eat a lot of eggs mind you.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 14:10, Reply)

*grins*
TGB I know it's not the best for entertainment but that pretty much made my day. I've never seen two double yolkers be used in one sitting and we've had chickens for 7 years now.

And I eat lots and lots of eggs.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 14:14, Reply)

Badger
Then you tell us a story.

Gowan, you know you want to!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 14:15, Reply)

Once upon a time
There lived a bunch of crazy people. They all resided in a land called B3tatown where any outsiders would probably think they were all on crack, but only a very small proportion of the folk there were actually on anything stronger than hard cider and the occassional licking of toads.

One day TGB decided she would write everyone a story but as it turns out she couldn't really be bothered so instead she played lots of porn to the villagers and they all jerked off covering the streets in their warm jizz.

Then it got very cold and the jizz froze so they all went ice skating.

The end.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 14:22, Reply)

Badger
I've decided that you are completly nuts!

You've fallen out of the sanity tree.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 14:24, Reply)

*shakes head*
I feel like that's 30 seconds of my life that I will never get back.
Ever.
Poooor form TGB. I expected so much better from you. Tsk tsk.

kidding. about a 4.4/10.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Apr 2009, 14:25, Reply)

Hmmm
I have 2.5 hours of flexi time saved up. I could leave at 3 and still have an hour left. Very tempting.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 14:51, Reply)

Was I ever
in the sanity tree?!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 15:09, Reply)

You were
I remember, you were very sane in the pub. For a little while.

Hi Chains, take the time off today!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 15:11, Reply)

Hmm
maybe I was trying to make a good first impression
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 15:15, Reply)

Then
You fell into complete B3tanness, just like everybody else. :)

I'll be in Edinburgh this time next week. WooHoo.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 15:25, Reply)

TGB
Is that why you wore a low-cut top?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 15:27, Reply)

She didn't
the first time I met her Chains. But I did wear a furry coat.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 15:29, Reply)

it wasn't that low

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 16:01, Reply)

Oh My
My Borkage of the thread there was almost DG sized.

Badger I remember you wearing a t-shirt and a hoody.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 16:03, Reply)

Low enough
For government work.
Edit: Dok, now I'm confusing the issue by talking about when I first met TGB.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 16:03, Reply)

I'm back,
Bitches.

H&S inspection was a bit crap, but all ok I think.
( Cawl, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 16:09, Reply)

Yeah I was wearing a tshirt when I met you dok
and chains it was a square cut top that still wasn't low!

yo yo yo Kaol
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 16:10, Reply)

Yes you are Chains
If I remember when I met you your top was rather low cut!

Hello Kaol, glad it all went well.

EDIT Right folks I'm going home, later folks.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 16:11, Reply)

Yo indeed :)
I upset H&S man a bit.

He was going on about how if you got on your hands and knees, you could crawl under one of our machines, and the blade could get you after about 5 meters.

I said "By that logic, you could slam your head in your car door. Doesn't mean you should."

He got grumpy after that.
( Cawl, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 16:15, Reply)

It's true
My top was lower cut than TGB's when we met.

Right then - time to go home I reckon. Bye!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 16:26, Reply)

haha
I like that logic :D
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 2 Apr 2009, 16:50, Reply)