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(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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Comb Sweet Comb

So sadly I am back from Edinburgh and back at work so you lot better be amusing
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:18, 251 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Top o' the mornin'' to you honey!
How are you this misty-moisty morning?
I has just found this:

uk.news.yahoo.com/21/20090414/tuk-garlic-stench-halts-court-hearings-6323e80.html

It had nothing to do with me!
(

Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:23, Reply)

heheh
The smell of garlic sounds positively wonderful compared to your farts :p

Work is so boring compared to watching a dog lick Lab's sausage *sniggers*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:26, Reply)

heehee
Yes, that wee dog certainly gave Lab's sausage a good gobble - he couldn't get enough ;o)
(

Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:34, Reply)

Good day lovely ladies
*doffs hat*

All of the mongs crashed last night so the journey from wookiee's to mine had to be completed by alternative routes.

Being at work sucks. I want to be back up norf.
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:43, Reply)

Morning all
I have stupid amounts of work to do, but couldn't stop myself from popping on here to say hi ;)

That dog forced himself on my sausage, and gorged himself before I could do anything about it. Not that I would have.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:45, Reply)

Poor catface
and you didn't have your pipe music to listen to either *hugs*

Woo Ancrenne is on B3ta woo woo woo *hugs*

Oh and hi Lab :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:47, Reply)

Oh
I don't feel so dirty now.

*sulks*
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:47, Reply)

I found my lack of pipe music disturbing
But I did have a good catnap when I got home. I hate being busy, I don't have time to reply to gazes properly ='[
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:50, Reply)

you loved every second Lab ;o)
Hello ancrenne! *snogs*
Hello V man! *licks*
(

Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:50, Reply)

*licks back*
*and front*

:edit: Ancrenne that sounds like a great plan. I'll meet you in the midlands tonight with said sword?
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:51, Reply)

I like the
amount of fart related signatures on the board today :D
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:51, Reply)

ooh oooh
if you're coming to the Midlands come see me! And make sure you don't cut my house in half
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:54, Reply)

And mine isn't even referring to a lady!
The memory of that fart alone makes me want to climb into the protective suit we saw in the museum that didn't exist.
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:54, Reply)

Yep, some top notch board sigs around
I like BGB's too.
Must dash off for a bit, I'm taking Sweary Jr to the quack's. See you lovely folk later!

*enjoys V's licks*
(

Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:55, Reply)

I was thankful for my blocked nose
Although my mo' did start to wither...
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:55, Reply)

hahah
I saw El Diablo Lab, not sure how proud you should be

hahah I'm sorry and I only saw Duncan :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:57, Reply)

I can paint my house magenta
and could probably cram 20 people in there if I really really really wanted :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:58, Reply)

Morning!
*Yawns*

I just got up and am feeling slightly shabby. I borked myself with too much wine last nite :/
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:59, Reply)

Duncan did make an appearance
Unfortunately.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:59, Reply)

I think we should paint the castle magenta
And install our spunk cannons.
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:00, Reply)

Hallo my lovelies!
/huggles everyone until you're all slightly aroused.

How are you all today?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:03, Reply)

Sounds like a plan to me.
Magenta and spunk cannons it is!
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:04, Reply)

Morning VC
I'm trying to finish some work, but my pc is playing silly buggers.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:05, Reply)

I think the Leviathan will need some lubrication

(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:05, Reply)

*Passes lube*

(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:06, Reply)

*gets a rubbing*
Anybody care to lend a hand~~job~~?
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:09, Reply)

Nothing's changed, I see...

YAY!
(

thealternativefact, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:10, Reply)

Yo DG
V I really wish we had stuff you in that cannon and taken a picture :p

Hi VC
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:10, Reply)

Me too
Maybe they have a big cannon at Warwick castle that we could do that with...
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:11, Reply)

I'm not sure actually
as I've never been in the castle. I don't think it's high enough for cannons :(

Hey Clendrix you survived the haggis fart as well then?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:13, Reply)

Right
I really must crack on~~e off~~ with this case :( See y'all later!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:13, Reply)

Stuffing V in a cannon
sounds like it would be the highlight of my life.

Badger, Wookiee's insides are made of pure evil.
(

thealternativefact, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:14, Reply)

She didn't even experience them Badger
I was the only non-farter to be subjected to the terror! *cries*

Bye Labs! *waves*

:edit: He did get a beating from my big ass book though =D
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:14, Reply)

V
what about on the way home? He was still doing them then. I think Brixton is probably cordoned off by now.
(

thealternativefact, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:15, Reply)

V you were reading a book
on big asses? Mine's on page 56
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:16, Reply)

Morning VC
Didn't see you there. Think it must be the gaseous clouds of death stench enveloping the thread today.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:17, Reply)

Clenders
They were nothing compared to the one he did before then. For starters I could actually breathe in the car...

*wiggles ass*
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:18, Reply)

hahahah
DG I just noticed your sig! I'm leaking!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:19, Reply)

I'm very proud
of the fact the I broke a 40 year old Scotsman and made him leak.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:20, Reply)

Morning knob goblins
I woke up this morning (da doo doo da doo) to a massive thunderstorm. It must be April.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:21, Reply)

Out of joy
The thought of a an ass book makes me want to wiggle mine.

*wiggles*
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:22, Reply)

Nope!
You're staying right here young lady.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:22, Reply)

I'm afraid
I'm going to have to veto the wiggling V :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:23, Reply)

Hi guys
For some reason I really don't like Wednesdays. No idea why.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:26, Reply)

Think it's time for a fag break
Now, where did I put him?
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:27, Reply)

purple headed monster!
oh god I just laughed so much coke came out my nose
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:27, Reply)

i'm going to rub up against Captain V if he's wiggling.

(

Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:28, Reply)

Hurrah for Dads indeed.
Today I have to tell mine about the Cornwall Bash next Easter and ask him if he can move out of his house for a few days.
I also have to see if Aunty Betty will make her legendary hot cross buns for 40 people :)
(

thealternativefact, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:29, Reply)

gah
I come back from tea and find a filthy thread.

I fucking love you lot! This is exactly what I ~~get off on~~ giggle at!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:29, Reply)

*rubs his wiggly ass up against Al*
*gets poked in the eye by the Leviathan*

You can't veto my wiggling badger; everybody loves it!

*wiggles ass at TGB*
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:30, Reply)

TGB would never really veto ass
she loves it far too much.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:31, Reply)

Ass wiggling!
can I join in? Please? I have my own donkey and all!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:31, Reply)

Woa
That fag break went straight to my head! I'm all dizzy now.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:33, Reply)

*chuckles at VC*
We are wiggling our bottoms not our horse type animals!
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:34, Reply)

Ancrenne
I wish they were cos they're superb.
(

thealternativefact, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:34, Reply)

Those crazy australians and their lack of understanding of humurous plays on words.
edit - that glint is just a little blob of pre-cum.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:35, Reply)

PB
Wednesday's are ace as it's officially hump day.

*Humps*

*Feels slightly soiled*

*Wipes self off*
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:35, Reply)

Oh okay!
*wiggles bum instead*
Better?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:36, Reply)

I do love ass
On the way back Baby Got Back came on Lab's ipod and we were dancing in the car.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:40, Reply)

Erm... thanks DG.
I'm not sure whether to be aroused or disturbed.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:42, Reply)

Ancrenne
I was thinking it'd be more like helmets...no chance for a "There's something about Mary"esque disaster.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:49, Reply)

ancrenne
It does indeed hurt. Goggles definitely recommended!

*winces at memory*
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:51, Reply)

You need a
felching hat
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:52, Reply)

Best of all the hats
*felches Al*
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:54, Reply)

Oh God...
The memories from Monday keep flooding back!
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:56, Reply)

Talking of Monday
doubleohsquee.deviantart.com/art/Boo-cake-114581368
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:57, Reply)

Obviously I am missing something
*sads*
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:59, Reply)

mmmm boo cake
I can't look at the picture though :(
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:00, Reply)

Memories from Monday?
In my case, lots of sleep and an annoying parent wanting her flatpack doing. No way. What happened then DG?
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:00, Reply)

oh it worked that time!
I want boo cake! nom nom nom
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:03, Reply)

actual boo cake
not the other kind :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:07, Reply)

Piston
Fair to say that the conversation veered from G-Spots to Spider-Man to bukkake to meatspin to subscriptions for porn mags and back to Spider-Man again. With healthy doses of felching and Boo-cake in between.

The site of a disparate group of people rolling around on the grass with tears in their eyes probably scared a few folks.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:10, Reply)

How could you forget
transvestite mexican midget wrestling?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:11, Reply)

Indeed.

(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:15, Reply)

I'm guessing this is what ethel found...
www.microwrestling.com/about/
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:15, Reply)

I believe it was
:)
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:21, Reply)

The same thing happened with Kaol, Mell and myself
In the Children's Museum. Giggling at old "Daddy's Sauce" adverts with young girls looking all come-hither in them. The shop assistants gave us some very dirty looks. Ah well.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:30, Reply)

Today is dragging
I guess work people aren't as much fun at b3ta people! Who would have guessed!

Although apparently the BSG spin off Caprica isn't brilliant so I am a little sad at that
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:31, Reply)

HE! IS! THE! THREADKILLER!
THIS! IS! THE! THREADKILLER!

THREAD! THREAD
KILLER! KILLER

THREAD! THREAD
KILLER! KILLER

Edit - bugger, too slow.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:32, Reply)

hahaha
Al looks really stupid right now :p.

Well stupider
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:34, Reply)

Morning all
How are you lot today?

Back at work now, Booooooooo.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:39, Reply)

Yes, work is dull
But luckily the people I work with have incredibly warped senses of humour.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:40, Reply)

100!
Woo!

Morning Dok. Are you fixed again? Has your head gone back to its normal colour?
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:41, Reply)

Yeah, well
TGB looks like she really loves having sex with lots of different men.

So there.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:42, Reply)

Nice one DG
I'm loving the sig, it almost made me borken again.

Fairly, I'm back to my normal colour though.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:43, Reply)

I do
not at the same time though. I have one of those deli counter style ticket dispensers
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:45, Reply)

Liking your sig as well Dok
Al, how could you say such mean things about Badger?

*Edit* Oh, Badger has just corroborated Al's statement. I feel silly now.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:45, Reply)

I was wondering
Why I woke up with a sore arse.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:46, Reply)

Piston
That would be the beer.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:47, Reply)

*Sigh*
Running my work PC and the laser printer and the kettle off a power strip plugged into a 5 amp socket. Someone just tried to print while the kettle was boiling. Pop!
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:47, Reply)

Well DG
I find it easier just to agree with Al then he gets bored and goes away :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:48, Reply)

Not bloody likely
How are you anyway?
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:49, Reply)

That puts me in mind of those
"Worlds biggest gangbang" records that I believe some pornstars have been known to attempt to break.

Apparantly the whole room stinks of jizz.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:48, Reply)

At the weekend
The whole of Edinburgh stank of nut roast farts!
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:50, Reply)

I was just glad
My sense of smell had stopped working.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:51, Reply)

Dok!
I didn't see you there!
/huggles
How are you?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:52, Reply)

I'm good thanks Al :)
Was a shame you couldn't make it up to Edinburgh. Did you have a good weekend?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:53, Reply)

Very good thanks
very productive, with a slight downturn on saturday night when it turned out that Nashville Pussy were the support act, not the headliner, so I missed most of their set, but I went back to the pub instead and drank lots more.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:56, Reply)

What was this?
mini festival? That is a good name for a band though! Gashville Pussy would have been even better
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:59, Reply)

On thursday night I had a doner kebab
on friday night I had tapas and lots of beer and on saturday night I had a spicy curry.

My living room stank of white spirit in the morning and by lunchtime it was practically uninhabitable. I think my nose must have shut down at some point over the weekend as it didn't seem that bad until I went out for a cup of tea and then came back in again.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:54, Reply)

the human body
is truly amazing in how beautiful it looks while producing such noxious gases....
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:57, Reply)

Vampy
I'm OK, just a bit blue about being back at work and that everybody couldn't stay in Edinburgh (henceforth to be known ad B3taland)!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:57, Reply)

I'm more then a little blue
that I wasn't there in the first place!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:59, Reply)

We're going to have to go again
Just for the sheer hell of it. How about August Bank Holiday Weekend?
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:00, Reply)

Probably a bit close
to another bash for me.

I shall have to bugger off for a bit as I have some stuff for tomorrow to sort out. Like cancelling hotel rooms so i don't get charged for them.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:03, Reply)

I go to the IoW
for August Bank holiday... we could all go there though :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:08, Reply)

OK

(

thealternativefact, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:09, Reply)

It doesn't take a lot
to convince you guys does it?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:16, Reply)

Good news everybody
Kaol hasn't set the Edinburgh airport Hilton hotel on fire (today).

:edit: Not at all. Usually it takes little more than a suggestion for me to do something. That's why I spend so much of my life in compromising positions.
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:17, Reply)

Well, it's posted, check my profile
But cities and venue can of course change upon preference. The next bank holiday is too damned close to plan anything but August is just about doable I think.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:17, Reply)

Wait
so I say I am going to be RIGHT at the other end of the country and you go ahead and say Edinburgh anyway? Fuck you piston
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:19, Reply)

V
Same here.
I have been caught more then once in a compromising situation.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:20, Reply)

Like I say
Venue and city can change. Bath for example is a beautiful city- well worth a visit.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:22, Reply)

so's the IoW
and we can throw people we don't like overboard.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Gosh
IoW for the August bank holiday, somehow I thik I'll be sick of the place by then. I'm going there for a break soonish.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:24, Reply)

The seaside!
August bank holiday should be on or near a beach.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Actually that's not a bad idea
I've never actually been to the Isle of Wight- might be bashworthy?
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:28, Reply)

God Chains
We're an island, we're never too far away from the seaside!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:29, Reply)

ahaha Dok
Come to Aus and visit Uluru. You'll be about as far away from the sea as you can get while on land.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:30, Reply)

We live in the midlands
we crave sea!

IoW is awesome and there are many many pubs everywhere. I will be attending a car show or two but you guys don't have to go to that :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:31, Reply)

*dusts off sand*
Sounds like I missed a cracker of a bash. *sads*
(

rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:32, Reply)

These people REALLY crave the sea
wiki.answers.com/Q/What_city_is_the_furthest_from_the_sea

Hey duckie. Your presence was missed in Edinawesome. How was :edit: some place other than :/edit: Dubai?
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:34, Reply)

DUCKIE!
How the devil are you? What did you bring me back from Abu Dhabi?

VC you seriously need to look at a map and realise there are a lot more places further from the sea than Ulurururururu
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:34, Reply)

Vampy
Australia is just a touch bigger than the Great Britian.

Ducky, yes you did, it was AWESOME!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:34, Reply)

Dubai
was hot, full of sand and somewhat lacking in bashage. Oh, and it had cars that a certain feathered username had accidentally stuck in a sand dune.

I didn't bring anything back (not least because we didn't go anywhere where we could actually buy anything), but I've got plenty of sand in the bottom of my suitcase and in my poor camera.

*pimps*
(

rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:38, Reply)

Duckie
you could have brought me back a car!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:41, Reply)

Uluru
has toilets that are really quite smelly. But it does have a bit of rock that looks like a lions face.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:41, Reply)

TGB
it's comparative to britain is what I meant. I do realise there are places further from the sea. I can actually read a map you know =D
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:42, Reply)

Badger
Did you no read that it got stuck in the sand.

Vampy is Uluru not just a fancy name for Ayers Rock?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:43, Reply)

Not yet Badger
The cars are all in shipping containers somewhere in the Persian Gulf.

They're all utterly fucked anyway. You wouldn't want one.
(

rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:44, Reply)

Yup
I've been there. It's pretty hot.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:45, Reply)

That's not what you said VC
you said place furthest from land! People should be less ambiguous with their prose.

Or when Ethel said he literally shat himself after a squirrel sat on him.

haha
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:47, Reply)

But in Ethel's case his ambiguity improved things
Because it made us literally piss ourselves laughing.
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:50, Reply)

Pfffft
Ethel and the squirrel! I'd forgotten that tale.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:50, Reply)

haha Sorry TGB
I'll be very very specific next time. Just for you. Better?

/huggles and squishes.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:51, Reply)

I was climbing Bob's Sofa when Ethel said that.
But I'm glad V told me about it later, because I literally laughed my arse off.
(

thealternativefact, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:53, Reply)

As a grammar badger
it would be appreciated! :)

We saw a honey badger in Edinburgh it was awesome!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:54, Reply)

It was
One of many things that borked me on Monday.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:55, Reply)

May I know
about Ethel and the squirrel?? Please?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:57, Reply)

Ah the badgers
They were best of all the badgers.

And the Vguin* ruled!

*sounds better if you replace V with my real name.
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 12:58, Reply)

Bob?
Rumplestiltskin?
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 13:07, Reply)

V
In what way does Cuntyspunkfaceguin sound better than Vguin?

I'm confused.
(

rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 13:08, Reply)

Al!
Real names on threads is very rude! I'm going to have to do awfully nasty things to you next time I see you!
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 13:08, Reply)

I'm really looking forward
to seeing you again now.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 13:10, Reply)

hahaha
vguin ftw!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 13:11, Reply)

Draw on him V!
That'll learn him!
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 13:11, Reply)

Good morning everyone!
I just walked into the bathroom next to my room and caught a 17 year old furiously masturbating.

If you're going to self-pleasure in a hostel bathroom, please lock the door. I'm not really a fan of cock being waved about first thing in the morning.
(

wanderlust, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 13:44, Reply)

*waves cockc about*
*jizzes*
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Lusty :)
How the devil are you? Apart from the cock waving :p You should have screamed "You're doing it wrong!" just to freak him out
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Taking a small break from both work and wondering where all my money went this month
Hello Lusty! Enjoying the sights are we?
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 13:48, Reply)

Aaaaaaaaaaand back from lunch
On reflection, an IoW bash is sounding like quite a damned good idea. Your thoughts?
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 13:48, Reply)

hello lovely internet peoples
*goes back to read rest of thread*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 13:49, Reply)

'lo everyone!
TGB I don't think I needed to freak him out anymore. The sight of me first thing in the morning would be enough to scar anyone for life.

I am however, slightly impressed that he was watching himself in the mirror. Maybe I'll give it a try later.
(

wanderlust, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 13:53, Reply)

IoW FTW!
In the summer, that is. We can all go paddling with our trousers rolled up and knotted hankys on our heads.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 13:54, Reply)

afternoon all
how bes all you ~~horrible~~ lovely internet peoples then?
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 13:56, Reply)

greetings from a nest of filth
hello lovely people.
(

cackers, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 13:58, Reply)

CACKERS!
/huggles tightly and snogs

Where have you been my lovely? I missed you =[

EDIT: Tulip! /gives a big squishy hug
How are you poppet?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:03, Reply)

indeed
though after last night's fire scare I've been obeying the rules. *cries*

so not so smoky, but definitely squalid.
(

cackers, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:03, Reply)

VC
/hugs back.

I'm still in Edinborough, having managed to miss my flight yesterday. oops!
(

cackers, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:04, Reply)

oops!
good to see you though!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:05, Reply)

*hugs VC squishily*
ok ta flower. how's you?

I was contemplating having salami for lunch but after lusty's experience earlier I think I'll skip it.

I hope you reprimanded him good and proper lusty.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:06, Reply)

A beach bash...
This is getting better and better. Beer, b3tans and the beach. The awesome alliteration alone is making me micturate!
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:06, Reply)

Hi cackers :)
Yes Ancrenne, my money definitely stayed in Edinburgh. I ~~drank~~ spent rather too much...

Ah well, only two weeks of Tesco Value soup until payday!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:08, Reply)

@ piston
don't you mean

b33r, b3tans and the b3ach?

that would be the b3st.

can we bring our b3ach balls?

*snorts*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:08, Reply)

Good to hear tulip!
I'm well thanks! Watched House. Am in bed. Want chocolate though. :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:09, Reply)

mmm, lunch
good idea, tulip. where is that pizza menu?

*stumbles off to sort thru detreitous*
(

cackers, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:09, Reply)

HLT
He just sat down opposite me in the kitchen and wouldn't look me in the face. Bless him, I think he's learnt that masturbation is wrong, shamefull and will make you go blind.

On that note, I have to leave to mop the floor. Byedebye folks.
(

wanderlust, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:10, Reply)

urgh
I hope him wanking and you having to mop the floor aren't connected in any way...

*imagines*

*icks*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:11, Reply)

poor boy
send him my way I'll ~~corrupt~~ reassure him about masturbation.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:12, Reply)

You should b3 b3@ten round the h3@d with a frying p@n for th@.

(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:12, Reply)

oh shut up rimmer
*dodges spang*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:13, Reply)

A beach bash...
*Alters bash page*
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:15, Reply)

Hi Labs!
I also spent a fortune. Well worth it, however, to be the proud owner of a miniature tank that sharpens pencils. Soup, that sounds nice. *hands over tin opener*
(

cackers, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:17, Reply)

hmmm
Quick question folks...

Why the buggery fuck do the British Consulate want my fingerprint scans etc for my working visa?!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:23, Reply)

We don't trust you.

(

thealternativefact, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:27, Reply)

Bollocks. :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:29, Reply)

Blame the British Government
For hating foreigners. Stupid gits.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:29, Reply)

VC
This is a police state - we have the most cctv cameras per capita of any country.
Why else would I be working for the police?
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:30, Reply)

why does the CD burner always break?
damn thing.

I wish I was still in Edinburgh :(
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:34, Reply)

TGB
So do we all, I think. Well, apart from those affected by Tourette's awesome anal emissions.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:37, Reply)

Tulip
I love you in a slightly lesbian way - but mostly in a friend way. And I'm taken - so don't fret!

And WHY are you guys so afraid of little ol' me? I'm going to be a mere 18 year old! I'm going there with the intention of living there for a bloody long time! Why would I want to do anything that'll get me chucked out? :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:37, Reply)

And apart from those who didn't go to Edinburgh
Who technically can't wish to be *back* there.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:40, Reply)

Bye ancrenne!
200?
EDIT: Yes!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:46, Reply)

There's a killer on the loose
a thread killer on the loose.

*leather trousers's*

*afro's*

*plays bass*
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:06, Reply)

I wouldn't worry too much VC
Given the level of competence demonstrated by UK police forces your prints will be misfiled and lost within minutes.
They may turn up on a bus at some point.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:18, Reply)

awesomeeeeeeeee
now I'm going to go to sleep. :)
I'm very tired.

Night my lovelies!
/hugs and kisses everyone goodnight.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:20, Reply)

mo hahaha
I am in edinburgh

at work...

on my own...

oh ..... cack.
(

Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:21, Reply)

sucks to be you Nostrebor
And it took me four attempts to get your name right :(
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:27, Reply)

Talking about bashes...
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19206

just in case anyone's interested.
(

Mellicious is made of candy, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:29, Reply)

Badger - are you drunk at work?
Because you know, its a great idea. Makes the time pass quicker and when you speak to women on the phone you flirt with them much more openly.

Although maybe you should flirt with men...
(

Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:31, Reply)

I can't plan that far in advance
so don't try and make me!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:31, Reply)

Well I'm gonna try anyway!
I'll tempt you with cake and hugs and many shots of apple sourz
(

Mellicious is made of candy, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:32, Reply)

I'll flirt
with anyone really
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:33, Reply)

is that because you're drunk?

(

Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:34, Reply)

oooooh
apple sourz win!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:36, Reply)

Sadly not drunk
I will be later though so sign up now for TGB drunken flirting gazzes
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:38, Reply)

*waves at Mel*
I like the idea of visiting Wales again. It's been a long time since I was last there and I've never really spent any time in Newport.

*pencils in to mind diary*
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:38, Reply)

It's becuase she's a complete hussy
who will open her cavernous vag for a bunch of grapes and 50p.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:39, Reply)

Al
There's no need to give her 50p. The grapes are enough to get your fix of her dirty minge.
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:41, Reply)

*waves at V*
Would be cool if you could come.
I'm just letting people know about it know but I'll probably arrange it properly in a few weeks..
(

Mellicious is made of candy, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:41, Reply)

V?
SHOTGUN!
Where shall we stay?
(

thealternativefact, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:41, Reply)

Just put a little canopy outside TGBs clunge
and it makes an excellent bivvy.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:43, Reply)

Badger, isn't today your veto day?

(

thealternativefact, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:44, Reply)

I've no idea
I don't know how to avoid being stabbed, raped and monged in Newport. Best ask Mel.
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:44, Reply)

*cries*
you're so mean to me Al
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:44, Reply)

Oh good point Clendrix
I am vetoing Al's existance
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:45, Reply)

You won't be stabbed or monged in Newport
plus you might enjoy the raping
(

Mellicious is made of candy, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:46, Reply)

Very good point on the rape Mel
Not so sure about the stabbing and monging especially if Kaol is there...
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:48, Reply)

hahaha
I was just reminded about Kaol's "sad" face.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:49, Reply)

Aww poor Kaol
I guess that face was "sad" in some sense...
(

Mellicious is made of candy, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:53, Reply)

Kaol bought a sword
He'll be the one stabbing!!
(

Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:53, Reply)

But I'm the one who HAS the sword
*evil grin*
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:56, Reply)

I've not opened the box since I got home last night
If it does it wont be of my cock.
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:59, Reply)

Will it be
of your vagina?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 16:08, Reply)

At least his vagina
would fit.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 16:11, Reply)

TGB
I'll have you know that I don't have lady parts but I wish I did.
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 16:15, Reply)

V's no hermaphrodite
The chances of two of them posting on the same board would be astronomical.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 16:33, Reply)

unless
it was a hermaphrodite board
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 16:42, Reply)

V went for a wee in our hotel bathroom and didn't shut the toilet door
so I can vouch for the fact that, though he skips like a girl, he is ALL MAN.
(

thealternativefact, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 16:48, Reply)

I can't believe
you're boasting about having seen V's willy while he's having a tinkle.

I'm shocked. And slightly turned on.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 16:55, Reply)

You're just jealous that you haven't seen the leviathan
*may have the most inappropriately named genitals ever*
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 16:56, Reply)

Al,
I shared a room with three cocks.
(

thealternativefact, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 16:56, Reply)

So that's two more than when you're on your own then?
OH NO HE DI' NT!!

But seriously. How many of them did you have a cheeky gobble of when they were asleep?
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 16:58, Reply)

I'm off beautiful people
If I don't get stuck in traffic there will be a new hole in my body by the time I get home!
(

Captain V, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 17:00, Reply)

Byeeeee V
I'm off soon too woot woot
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 17:04, Reply)

Kaol snored so loudly I couldn't get close
and Vee and Wookiee were sorting each other out.
:(
(

thealternativefact, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 17:06, Reply)

Boooooo
That's a poor show for clandestine cock gobbling.

I'm going home people, I shall be listening to AC/DC and painting skirting boards. That's how motherfucking rock and roll I am.

Fear Me.
(

Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 17:10, Reply)

And when bagpuss goes to sleep...
all his friends go to sleep.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 17:38, Reply)

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