Driver trauma
dear Auntie B3ta

I am a fairly new driver, I have my licence less than a month, and am just getting to grips with driving alone. Yesterday I was going an unfamiliar route and got lost, and was struggling to find or landmarks, when I almost jumped a red light. I jammed on the brakes and stopped about 3 metres from the lights.

What makes my blood run cold, however, is that fact that I saw a kid of about 5 cross the road on her bike, I will never forget the look her mother gave me.

Now, I wasn't going fast enough to cause much damage, I would have been able to stop before contact even if I'd gone through the light, and the people had not left the pavement (on the right) by the time I would have gone through the light.

But still, I am tormented. All day yesterday, I've been running through what would have happened had all of the things going for me not happened and I killed the child, and I am distraught. Mintue by minute I imagined the ambulance, paramedics working unsuccessfully on the child, her parents being told, having to tell my family, them having to tell other people, basically ruining a lot of people's lives. Today I've moved onto imaginingg the police inquest and funeral arrangements. I've not been able to eat or sleep, and any driving I've been doing has not been above 20 mph.

All I can think of is how easily these things can happen, and I just want to curl up and die. All in all I think this was a cheap lesson, and will NEVER allow myself to be distracted again.

So, b3tans, have you had similar experiences behind the wheel? Will I recover?
(Lolitaslittlesister, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 22:45, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hmm
I remember not long after I had learned to drive I was changing a cassette (yes, fuck off) and almost sideswiped a whole line of cars as i leaned left to put the music on.

I think there were a few weeks of "oh shit oh shit oh shit" but it certainly made me pay more attention, and am currently 11 years with a clean license and never having an accident.

I do however break down a lot, today I had to change tyre and am now on the shit spare
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 22:49, Reply)

Thanks Halfy
Although not the spiritual type, I really feel this happened for a reason. I'm still ill at the thought of waht could have been
(Lolitaslittlesister, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 22:51, Reply)

you will recover
but whatever you do, try to preserve these feelings and keep them in mind.
too many people (myself included) are blasé about driving and aren't mindful of the potential dangers.

oh, and you will have an accident, probably within the next couple of years. if you are lucky no-one will be injured. Please try to remember that even if you drive safely, accidents will happen.

the key thing to remember is to not let it get to you to the point you aren't able to drive sensibly. just get on with it :)
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 22:52, Reply)

red light reactions
In an almost perverse way its good that you had this experience so early in your driving career; I imagine that its dented your confidence a little which in someone in their mid20s is no bad thing.

I had my first and so far only accident within a year of my test. It scared me so bad I stopped driving for three months which, whilst it might seem a natural reaction or temptation for you now was the worst thing I could've done.

Good luck and safe driving.

Ed x
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 23:08, Reply)

Thank you all
I've been so traumatised by this, and feel so ashamed, that I've not been able to talk about it to anyone I know.

I'm feeling better already, and I know I'll be a safer driver because of it
(Lolitaslittlesister, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 23:13, Reply)

My experience
I was up in Inverness for a week once, about half a year after passing my test, staying with friends, and not sleeping nearly enough. As a result, when driving somewhere one morning, I was stopped at some red traffic lights, when the left hand filter light turned green. I mistook this for my light turning green, and went. As a result, a van nearly side-swiped me, which would have been it for me and 3 friends. Stupid.

I felt bad after it, but ultimately it has always made me be more careful about traffic lights, no matter how much other parts of my driving may slip.

But you get over it, the fear and scaredness anyway. And it should have a positive result in the end.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 23:17, Reply)

In years to come
you will rely on such moments to wake you up in the morning.

For instance, the time I obliviously changed lanes and retrospectively looked in my mirror - all I could see was a giant silver DAF as a 120 decibel airhorn let rip.

Cutting up an 18-wheeler - I've never felt so alive.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 23:35, Reply)

Soon after I passed my test
I was driving up a main road when a fucking spider started climbing down his silk line *inside* by car, three inches from my right ear. Of course, being a manly man, I immediately panicked and started flailing at it. The silk thread snapped and the fucker fell onto the seat between my legs and disappeared. Into. My. Crotch.

I spacked out then, wriggling around, brushing madly at the seat etc. Very masculine.

So then I glanced at the road and I was doing fifty in the wrong carriageway. I was driving straight towards oncoming traffic at a speed well over the limit. The one thing that saved me was that the traffic lights up the road were red and nobody was actually coming at that particular moment.

Swerving back onto the road i noticed that the car behind had given me about 250 yards of room, no doubt expecting me to smash headlong into the first available vehicle and sensibly wanting no part of it.

Point is, you make mistakes when you first pass. It's not really your fault, it's because you're a shit driver. No shame in it, being a good driver takes practice. If you get all scared and crawl around at 20 everywhere for the rest of your life, then you'll stay a shit driver and become a real hazard.

It's a public service I provide, you know.
( Kroney, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 0:34, Reply)

Try to remember that you DID stop
and that the only harm done was a dirty look.

In heavy rain, with a carful of kids, I once somehow didn't spot a red light on a busy 40mph road and nearly crashed into a stopped car.

Only a last-second swerve into a gap in the next lane saved us all - I must've looked a right arrogant sod, switching lanes like that. Probably wouldn't have managed it on a dry road!

We've all been there and done that. It's a miracle more of us aren't killed. Most of us become more careful.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 8:14, Reply)

about six months into getting my learners
I was driving with mum from my house right through the country - through to the otherside of warrnambool. I was on the main highway and was in the right hand lane zipping along at the speed limit of 70. I was watching everything and trying so hard. I had a car in front of me about 20 meters away who was doing the same speed limit as I was - and behind me I had a B-double truck full of cattle.

I was about halfway up a hill when I was cut off by a Ute. Normally I wouldn't have minded. However - I was doing 70. He was doing 50 - and slowing down. He had a ladder on the right hand side of the car - directly in line with my face. I didn't think - all I did was slam on the brakes. I stalled the car in the middle of the highway - nearly got crunched from both ends as the truck behind me saw the dickhead and switched out from behind me just in time.

If the truck hadn't switched lanes - I would be dead. No question about it - the Ute was going too slow for me have to moved out of the way and the truck too fast to stop - would have been completely sandwiched.
I made it to where we were heading - the shopping centre - and sat in the car for about 20 minutes, sobbing, shaking, sweating and fucking terrified of driving. It took me a few weeks behind the wheel but it has made me very much aware of the mistakes I can make and the mistakes other drivers can make.

You will be okay - just give yourself some time. Take it easy and don't push yourself too hard. Talk to someone about it. okay?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 29 Apr 2009, 8:41, Reply)

Been there, done that.
Within a couple of weeks passing my test I was driving a mate back to school.

We were driving down a 40 mph dual carriageway (the start of the West road coming from Ponteland if you're interested) a bus pulls out of the recessed bus stop but only a little way.

I think wtf is he doing? I get annoyed and move to overtake him.

Turns out that he'd stopped because the lights of the pedestrian crossing had turned red. The bus was obscuring my view of the lights so I didn't know.

I was lucky to have seen the people crossing when I did because I just managed to stop in time with screeching tyres and bit if skidding.

I had to go park up in a pub car park afterwards to calm down for a while.

So, the lesson here is to be much more cautious when driving and to keep all your attention on the road and the pedestrians at al times. I've never forgotten this and have yet to have an accident.

I'm quite glad I had that scare when I was a new driver, other wise I think things might have been a lot worse.
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 8:51, Reply)

We've all done it.
I've only been driving 6 years and I didn't learn till my late 30's. I've had one mild accident and a few near misses.

Don't beat yourself up about it and just try to keep your wits about you.
( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 9:10, Reply)

It's also good advice
To assume other drivers are idiots who are about to do something stupid. They aren't indicating because they're about to turn; they just forgot to stop indicating from earlier. Unless a turn would involve cutting across oncoming traffic, in which case they will turn at the last possible moment. If they flash their lights they aren't inviting you to pull out, the stalk got snagged on their jewellery or they saw a friend coming the other way.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 9:17, Reply)

This ^
Assume everyone on the road is a terrible driver and liable to do anything at all given a moment's notice.

After a while you'll easily be able to spot the bad drivers a mile off and ive them wide enough of a berth to keep yourself and others safe. (Weaving about, inconsistent speed, mobile phone, excessive hand-waving, kids in the car, chavvy mods, loud music, etc.)
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 10:01, Reply)

@shippy above
that bus thing , if anything happened, would and could be blamed on city planning.

A bus stop immediately before/after a peddestrian crossing is an accident waiting to happen
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 10:20, Reply)

Yeah - but there's not much you can do, it's been like that for ages.
Here it is

I was too concentrated on what the bus was doing to look across the road to the other lights there. At least no one was hurt and I've become a pretty conscientious driver.

And I seem to remember that looking out for people crossing the road from behind a bus are one of the things they warn you about.
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:43, Reply)

Thank you All so much
I've falling into an odd cycle of hypothesis

I keep thinking 'If I hadn't stopped, I would now be thinking 'if only I had looked at the light/seen the kid/seen other traffic'' I do think it was a good thing to happen.

At the time I wasn't too bothered, and I don't think it was the close call my mind has turned it into at 3am. It's just thinking of the possibilities, and how easily things could have turned out differently.
(Lolitaslittlesister, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 10:27, Reply)