Here I am
about 4:40ish. Been here since 8:25ish. Will leave about 5:10. Not yet done one single thing which could be descibed as work.
Apart from one phone call.

It has been a good day.

How's your day been?
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 16:41, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

shit
thanks for rubbing it in.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 16:41, Reply)

I'm sorry about that.
I usually feel quite bad if I've been avoiding work. But there has actually been none to do.

I sit right opposite my manager (only me and him here) and he's occasionaly said "What about that such an' such issue?" "Unavailable until tomorrow." "Oh." And that was as high-octane as this day got.
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 16:46, Reply)

I'm sitting here waiting tentivly for the new iPhone anouncement and then to order one.
I'm probably going to buy a new telly tomorow.

Plus o2 have whiped out my £1400ish phone bill.

Plus i'm going out for THAI FOOD tonight with a couple of mates.

Today is massive WIN.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 16:44, Reply)

But...
Will it *blend*?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 16:47, Reply)

That sounds nice
I could do with a new phone. Issue is that whilst the one I have does nothing more advanced than send or receive texts, my most expensive monthly bill in the last 4-5 years has come to about £13.

Thai food sounds nice. So do mates. I'm going shopping at Asda with my brother.
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 16:48, Reply)

Well...
New system live at the weekend, various omissions, certain groups didn't know and/or test, other projects threatening to go live, swilled down with a mixture of random support calls.

The words "Blue arsed fly" could have been coined to mark this specific day.

Though, now I think about it, what exactly *is* a blue arsed fly?

We need a Grammar Badger on the case here to break it down fo' us.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 16:46, Reply)

You need
The Power Of Science.
A blue-arsed fly is a blue-bottle.
It flies around from shit-to-shit, laying eggs. Busily.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 16:50, Reply)

It's a fly
that's been spanked by a wasp till his ass turned blue. The fly knows a serious arse raping is coming up so has to fly away as quickly as he possibly can to avoid said raping.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 16:50, Reply)

That sounds
strangely plausable.
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 16:50, Reply)

I feel enlightened!
Thank you guys :-)

So somewhere between Science and Raping, the truth be found.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 16:53, Reply)

I've scanned a 3-page document,
Fired someone and been updating risk assessments.
Exciting...
Tonight I've got a band practice and curry.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 16:50, Reply)

I have zero motivation today

i have done lots of work though, none of it achieved anything though.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 16:56, Reply)

If you worked in the porn industry,
this would be considered a good day, bringing a smile to the face and a tear to the eye.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 16:58, Reply)

A jizz tear?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 16:58, Reply)

I worry that this statement
Could mean either a drip of eye-juice, or a rip.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 16:59, Reply)

One might cause the other...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:03, Reply)

Rip..?
Ouch. That would be some rather overenthusiastic porn viewage.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:04, Reply)

mine has been very similar to yours
I've tried to work, really I have, but just can't do it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:00, Reply)

It's so fucking hot in my office

All the ladies moan that it's cold all the time, but it's not they're just mental.

Mr.K what are the heath and safety perameters for the temperature in an office?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:03, Reply)

They're simple
If you're not on fire it's too cold.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:05, Reply)

You're not allowed to heat it above 19C
Get a giant thermometer and tell them to put some bloody clothes on.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:07, Reply)

Hmmm...
"During working hours, the temperature in all workplaces inside buildings shall be reasonable."

Wow, thanks Health And Safety Executive Guidelines :\

It goes on to say not colder than 16c in an office, but no upper limit...
( Cawl, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:08, Reply)

yeah, there is no maximum temperature,
otherwise chefs would never be able to work.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:11, Reply)

What about Ice-cream chefs?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:13, Reply)

Cold-area workers.
It's all ok with low temperatures if there's protective clothing provided.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:14, Reply)

Figured it was something like that.
And firemen.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:13, Reply)

That's bonkers
There should be a maximum level. Above that you must have protective clothing.

If my office were on fire H&S would be telling me that it's dangerously hot so there's a starting point of around 800 kelvin.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:18, Reply)

If the room is over a certain temp
you're allowed to take a break more often to avoid heat exhaustion. I don't know what the temp is, but when I was but a wee student working at McDonalds for beer-money, if you were working the grill, you got to take a quick drink break every half hour Or alternatively, you could complain viciously to get a desk-fan.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:59, Reply)

It was 24 degrees once!

I was sweatier than richard dawkins at the Pearly gates.

"Your not coming in in those shoes mate"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:08, Reply)

That sounds tough
I would have tried to work. But there has been not one thing that I could do. I keep checking the stack (of calls) but nothing all day.

It has made the day very dull.

Here's a top question for you all - what do you do at work on the internet when you've read essentially all of B3ta and BBC News?
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:03, Reply)

at the moment I am comparing recipes for what I'm going to cook tonight
I also tend to shop a long time in advance of any purchase, so I will narrow down what I want to buy and find the best price, or if I know what I want I will try and find it as cheap as possible.

currently I'm looking for an additional surfboard, some skate shoes for 20-25 quid as TK Maxx was out, appropriate timber for my raised vegetable beds, and a slimline wall mounted water butt
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:07, Reply)

I'm very slim
You could use my butt if you like.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:10, Reply)

will you hold 100 litres of water?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:13, Reply)

There's a good chance I will
For I am well broken in.
( Captain V, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:15, Reply)

excellent
I will pay you £50 to be bolted to my wall, filled with water from my roof and to be connected to a hose. watering the garden, for the use of.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:21, Reply)

I'm addicted to
wikitravel

and

www.spottedbylocals.com/
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:08, Reply)

ym?

really am I first?

Also this charlian.dracos.co.uk/
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:10, Reply)

These are the main specific websites I read
xkcd
qwantz
slashdot
( Captain V, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:14, Reply)

Well, I've had a lovely day doing nothing.
Now I'm off home. I'll be reading pretty much all of this site again tomorrow. But I don't post much. Or look at B3ta at home. No idea why though.

Bye.
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:12, Reply)

I've spent a lot of today looking at
cars I want but can't afford.

drools
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:12, Reply)

My brother had a 2 litre Opel Manta
in funky orange. It was ridiculously overpowered for an 18-year-old. FUN!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 18:03, Reply)

I spent two and a half hours filling in paperwork where I used to work to get my portfolio completed
for submission to the RCVS.

I spent an hour this morning filling in paperwork to try and claim back money the job centre stopped due to their ineptitude.

This dolescum lark isn't all it's cracked up to be.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:18, Reply)

I had 4 hours 45 minutes of exam
and bullshited my way through 60% of a module.

Oh deary deary me.

Bloody cunting Livy&Ovid tomorrow. They can go and DIE.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:20, Reply)

Oi!
You take that back.
Ovid is awesome.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:22, Reply)

Without wishing to sound too shitty
it does make me happy that I will never have to do an exam (not of my choosing) ever again!

EDITED for Mr.K who gave me a C- for typing
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:23, Reply)

Looks like you need
A spelling exam.
EDIT: A "C-" would've been generous.
( Cawl, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:25, Reply)

Well you seem like a generous chap

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 17:28, Reply)

Studying hard
to complete a maths assignment that has to be with the tutor by 10th Jun. Which means a drive to Knaresborough on Wed morning, but that's out of the question as my car failed its MOT. So I can't miss last post tomorrow.

My missus is off work this week, so whilst the kids were at school, she de-stressed me somewhat.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 18:07, Reply)