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( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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What have you done to get people to pay attention to you? Perhaps you've done a dance in a pair of frilly pants? Perhaps you've painted yourself red and run the length of Oxford Street yelling "I'm Janet Street-Porter's Vagina!"? Perhaps you update the internet with the minutae of your life?
Why are YOU a drama queen?
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 13:26, 97 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

well not anything. I won't show my tuppence.
I'm constantly pricking about, singing, dancing like a twat instead of dancing nice and alluring in clubs, doing impersonations, broadcasting the details of dates I've been on to anyone who'll listen, doing burlesque courses, being an extra, blah blah. Anything for attention.
I don't want to be 'famous'. Quite the opposite. I want to be a big fish in a small pond and have immediate attention and gratification.
I'm an only child...
But you're only a cunt if people DON'T want you to perform, right? 'Cos my friends and family regularly request stupid things from my repertoire like "Sing us that song!" or "Do your impression of the man from the newsagents!" and I lap it up.
My mother's been calling me Susan Boyle lately. Bitch.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 13:34, Reply)

I have never been scared to make a tit of myself or belt out a song in the pub (not on karaoke night either) just to entertain people and boost my ego.
I have few inhibitions.
God I sound like Colin Hunt!
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 13:48, Reply)

please don't ever sing in public in my presence, I would absolutly hate it.
No offence etc.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 13:51, Reply)

don't worry. I only do it if I'm asked.
Or if I'm pissed.
Then you can put me in the cupboard so you can't hear me.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 13:54, Reply)

with a scouse accent.
Except I have boobs and a tuppence.
You're stalking me now pickleperson!!!
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:05, Reply)

I know what he is!
He is a very model of a modern major general!
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:18, Reply)

Shal we have our very own Download night - Friday or Saturday, not sure which night i'm allowed out yet
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:19, Reply)

you're carrying on woeful the pair of you.
I don't know whether I'm coming or going.
Nothing new there
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:32, Reply)

Can't do Friday, got someone coming over.
Saturday I should be free, but I'm skint. What do you have in mind?
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:37, Reply)

The usual for me.
A little tickle and a ruffle for you :0)
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:44, Reply)

Will be able to have a pint or two.
Roota, you can come join us if you can be bothered making the trip!
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:47, Reply)

am I being groomed?
I do hope so. It's on my list of overdue rites of passage.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:50, Reply)

*rubs thighs*
*dribbles*
*remembers that is now over 30 and should know better*
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:54, Reply)

AA is single and might be up for a Vega wedding.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:01, Reply)

will you marry us dressed as Elvis? I can dress like Katy Perry and AA can dress as Compo from Last of the Summer Shite. Dunno why.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:03, Reply)

I just look sexy but lack the Elvis suit.
I'll do the marriage bit for beer though
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:14, Reply)

My head was chocka with all that squashing over to the right. I've got the imprint of the slidey bar thing on my right cheek!
Yay. What beer do you drink? 16 cans enough?
I just looked at AA. He doesn't look like compo. He looks like some butch girl I once 'knew'.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:20, Reply)

He's quite cute in an odd sort of way (my mrs agrees and she has exceptional taste - see profile for proof!), and despite his tender years is quite a good mate.
An 8-pack of Carling would do the job by way of fees.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:27, Reply)

the butch girl was quite the bobby dazzler!
You can have 16 cans. I'll bring lemo and make shandies from some of them. For the toasts after the ceremony. Then I can fall in the canal in my katy perry wedding dress. No, frock. Frock's a better word.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:35, Reply)

I'm extremely busy at work, as you can tell.
actually I am, I'm just waiting for some project info to come through and have got about as far as I can just now
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 13:50, Reply)

and I play lead guitar in a band. can't be much more attention seeking than that
unless you are eric clapton. the twat.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 13:40, Reply)

Billy Gibbons has an awesome collection of hot rods (not penises or dildos. they are cars. not penis-shaped ones)
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 13:53, Reply)

and all the good things that allows me to do.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 13:43, Reply)

I mean, apart from be educated in this country while being supported by the government, while having the ability to work in any European Union country without a problem?
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:12, Reply)

I was thinking more of the natty faux leather effect on the passports.
Oh and the Universal Healthcare free at the point of access.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:20, Reply)

what have the romans ever done for us....
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:33, Reply)

They were however, all to do with men and rejection.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Those of you who've met me can attest to this. I'm quite shy and retiring.
Anyone who says otherwise can get to fuck.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 13:53, Reply)

I caused no drama at the bash last time, that I recall.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 13:59, Reply)

and I was very very drunk.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:01, Reply)

crying about how you've ruined everything with me.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:18, Reply)

I seem to befriend the drama queens and then try to calm them down when they kick off... that seems to be my mission in life. :(
I WANNA HAVE A DRAMA!!
*stomps around*
Ooooooh there’s one! Yippee! :)
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 13:56, Reply)

then you find that when something really bad and dramatic actually happens, you can laugh in the face of it and deal with it quite calmly.
Nothing's a shock to me because I'm trolling about being a big pansy all the time anyway.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:03, Reply)

I mean troll, like a bit like trollop but not quite. It's like a cross between mincing, flouncing and being a bit rum!
Please don't throw turnips. Actually, if they're fresh I'll have some diced with a bit of balsamic vinegar...
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:07, Reply)

A trollop is far different.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:09, Reply)

I just came here to get some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is...
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:12, Reply)

I'm filled with sheer exuberance.
You're all boss.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:34, Reply)

( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:05, Reply)

*digs out link to vectorised nudie pic*
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:06, Reply)

At last! A man who can!
Hope it didn't leave a nasty stain on your tights.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:15, Reply)

I do not wear, how do you say, tights. I wear manly trousers. With a button fly. And a precum stain.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:18, Reply)

Hers is far more phwoarworthy as she's more naked than me.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:23, Reply)

I hadn't planned to put that one up as it is *very* revealing...but I couldn't find a tame one....and I figured that at least a dozen or so male b3tans had already seen it.
/panders
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:27, Reply)

the original shows off my sweaty knickers - I'd just got back from climbing.
Nowt worse than a sweaty crotch.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:39, Reply)

With a......
No. I can't say it. The meme has gone too far.
Honda Accord
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:52, Reply)

I, on the other hand, am a man who does wear tights... and precums. All over my tights. Stains are baaaaad.
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:25, Reply)

...I'm thatblokeoverthere for a reason - always been more comfy blending into the background ;)
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:31, Reply)

Because my instrument is playing up in the lab AGAIN and my supervisor's not here to make it better and I HATE this stupid instrument and I think I'm long overdue for a damn good FLOUNCE!
*FLOUNCES*
WAAAAAAAAAAH! IT'S NOT FAIR!
*THUS ENDS THE FLOUNCE*
( , Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:55, Reply)
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