bored bored bored
I'm off to the doctors in a bit and to secure my ticket to Hull I was thinking how hilarious it would be if someone collapsed in the waiting room and I got to shout "Oh my god is there a doctor in the house?"

Ok it's not funny but I am very sick *coughs*

Question if you went on a murderous rampage who would you like to play you in the TV series (because lets face it you're not going to get a series based on your looks or smarts) and what music would you like playing during your spree?
Edit: Oh and as porky wrote his weapon of choice let's get that too!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 8:40, 50 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Oh Wow! Not that I've thought about it or anything....
Me = David Tennant (He'd do a great psycho)
Weapon of choice = Longbow from rooftop.
Music = Little Arrows, Leapy Lee

Yes I am that weird.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 25 Jun 2009, 8:44, Reply)

Kudos, Good Question!
Me = Kenneth Branagh (never seen him as a murdering psycho before, it'd be interesting)

Weapon = ebola, giving everyone a glass of water contaminated by it and then waiting to see how long it takes them to start bleeding and then eventually die

Music = The Polyphonic Spree, Light and Day

EDIT: I've missed a couple of days, sorry to hear that you're unwell and hope that you get better.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 8:52, Reply)

Obviously...
George Clooney. Not many other actors get as close to my Adonis-like beauty.

Music? Benny hill theme

Weapon? 12" (thick) rubber magenta cock, of course.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:16, Reply)

George Clooney?!
More like George Formby
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:19, Reply)

Nah
George Foreman.
( Captain V, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:27, Reply)

Well I'd pay money to see that on the big screen.

( girlinthehole, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:19, Reply)

This.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 10:57, Reply)

I've never thought about this.
I can't think of any actor-type who is good enough to portray the subtle fluctuations in my character.

So I'm gonna go with that Dwarf from "In Bruges".

Music would be "Destroyer" by Static-X.

Weapon has gotta be a meat cleaver.
( Cawl, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:25, Reply)

Ha
hahahahahahahahaha

I really want somebody to shrink you down to dwarf size (around 4' would do). It'd be brilliant.
( Captain V, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:28, Reply)

Is that
so you'd be taller then someone? Only just though
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:30, Reply)

Hahaha!

( Cawl, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:34, Reply)

No =[
I'm already taller than some people! I'm taller than Tourettes (I think) and was taller than the midget that people wanted me to fight at DiT's bash.
( Captain V, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:35, Reply)

I love how
You're proud to be taller than a midget
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:36, Reply)

I love this fact too.
Poor, tiny V.
( Cawl, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:37, Reply)

I'm not proud
But they're the only person that came to mind, other than Tourettes, that I'm taller than.

I like being the height I am =]
( Captain V, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:45, Reply)

You may be small but you're perfectly formed : )

( girlinthehole, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Woo
Thanks BGB =D
( Captain V, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 10:16, Reply)

Hmm
Actor: Ed Norton
Music: New Noise by Refused
Weapon: Katana

Oh, and one of the scenes would be set in a busy Tesco. Too many blind fuckwits shoving trolleys into me = rampage!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:39, Reply)

I considered doing a masters, then a doctorate in film just so that if anyone collapsed on a plane and they shouted for a doctor I could plead the fifth.
Me: Brittany Daniel
Weapon of choice: Anthrax
Music: Soundgarden, Black hole sun
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:40, Reply)

My passport
has my name and title on it, and I always travel using Dr in the hope it might get me an upgrade.

But it has never worked!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:43, Reply)

You could always ask Ed for some tips, he had Dr on his marriage certificate and I'm sure he got some freebies off it.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:49, Reply)

We have a teacher with a doctorate at school
he gets really pissed off if you call him "Mr" rather than Dr.

Actually, all the doctorate-teachers get stressed when that happenes. And they're all mathematical/scientific. Hmm.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:53, Reply)

Sweet
We had 3, Doc Cowling (Science), Doc Myers (History) and Doc Gill (English)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 10:16, Reply)

Oh hello you!
I've sent waaaaaaaaay too many texts this month, and I blame you. So I feel avoiding the wrath and subsequent phone bill is more important that you.
You fucker.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 10:39, Reply)

Hmmm...
Me: Ed Norton
Music: Mission Impossible Theme
Weapon: Lead Pipe in the Conservatory
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:43, Reply)

Hmmm
Me: A white (living) version of Bruce Lee
Weapon: Jō or Bō
Music: SOAD; Chop Suey [Thanks Porky]
( Captain V, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:43, Reply)

Music
Would have to be SOAD, ChopSuey. Fast and percussive to match the weapons, with slomo bit available too.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:50, Reply)

That'd do nicely
I can never do this kind of thing without listening to the music and the stuff on my mp3 player today is pants for whacking people with sticks.
( Captain V, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:51, Reply)

Hmmm
Actor: Drew Barrimore with the right accent (you have to make yourself look good in these things :P)
Weapon of choice: Piano wire, and electrified razors
Music: Dance of the Hours
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:49, Reply)

Well,
Me: I've been told by some people that I look like Emile Hirsch.

I have been told by others that I look like Bruce Campbell (albeit with a smaller chin).

So probably the latter.

Weapon: I would dress up as a scaled-up, 6ft carrion crow and run around pecking to death a large number of carefully selected people.

Music: I like Becky's suggestion of Soundgarden, and thus Drawing Flies is a tempting choice...but I think I'd have to take the silly route and go for The 'Oo: Boris the Spider.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:49, Reply)

Bruce Campbell
FTW
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:53, Reply)

Yeah, I suppose I should have chosen
"My Boomstick" as my weapon.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:54, Reply)

Tough choices.
Me: Maggie Gyllenhaal, or else that bird from The Crying Game - the one with the cock.
Weapon: Robot vacuum cleaner pimped into a killing machine.
Music: Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves by Cher.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:53, Reply)

I like Maggie
I would risk hooverdeath to get with her.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:59, Reply)

There would be a secret 'back door' for hacking into the vacuum cleaner via bluetooth.
Also, they share a weakness with daleks.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 10:01, Reply)

I'd give bluejacking the Hoover a go
Then have a crack at Maggie's backdoor

badum-tish!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 10:07, Reply)

I set you up beautifully for that.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 10:08, Reply)

And I'm grateful
For that, mid-shag, I'll tell Maggie that you're prettier
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 10:11, Reply)

This is merely your attempt at rodeo sex.
I'm thinking you aren't being all that generous.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 10:13, Reply)

You wound me

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 10:18, Reply)

You haven't seen my knee have you?
*bleeds*
( Captain V, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 10:19, Reply)

*hands you a manitary towel*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 10:24, Reply)

I know your game
You'd say that to get your nose to grow so that you could do special things with it.
( Captain V, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 10:19, Reply)

Don't knock nasal til you've tried it

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 10:26, Reply)

Thinks of beardy actors
Russell Crowe
an L115A3 sniper rifle
White Zombie, "Blood Milk and Sky"
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:55, Reply)

This is a fine set!
I like.
( Cawl, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:56, Reply)

*smugs*
It's an excellent track for being moody and violent to.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 10:04, Reply)

Suitably surreal.
Kathy Burke

Baseball bat

Ravel's Bolero.
( girlinthehole, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 10:07, Reply)

People expect me to be sweet and innocent,
So I'll need an actress who can look suitably angelic.
Me: Nicki Aycox

Weapon of choice: Smallpox

Music: My initial idea has already been used, so Show Me How To Live by Audioslave, or Mad Eyed Screamer by The Creatures
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:12, Reply)

Iteration
Me = Bob Hoskins
WoC = Sledgehammer
MoC = Prokofiev, Dance of the Knights. Suitably emphatic for choreography of violence.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:43, Reply)