morning jizzbags
what's new?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 8:45, 135 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My hovercraft is full of eels.

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 8:52, Reply)

hovercraftcock
eelsthat pre-cum thing
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 8:53, Reply)

Al editing yourself
That's desperate.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 8:54, Reply)

I think I'm losing it slightly
losing it slightlyturning into al.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 8:56, Reply)

alyer mum
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 8:56, Reply)

this is the internet
desperation is what it thrives on
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 8:56, Reply)

*sighs*
desperation ym

_{GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH....}
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:02, Reply)

True
It certainly explains the position I've put myself in with regards to my love life.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:02, Reply)

Haha!

( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:09, Reply)

I'm being serious Kaol
I must've been feeling really desperate to sleep with you!
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:11, Reply)

I'd say "sexy"
Rather than desperate.
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:16, Reply)

Question:
Can I be a cunt in this thread?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:07, Reply)

No

( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:08, Reply)

Fine
*huffs off*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:09, Reply)

*points*
Har har!
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:09, Reply)

Question:
Can you manage to NOT be one?
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:09, Reply)

I doubt it
Her cunt engulfs everything, she's trying to suffocate me with it right now =[
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:09, Reply)

You're not Al.
It's not the same.
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:11, Reply)

I know
I was just typing out my mental images.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:11, Reply)

Apologies in advance, but
Al ym

_{Oh god I need more sleep and the other half of my weekend wouldn't go amiss...ooh the thingy will be open I can get some breakfast now and stop writing "ym" whilst waiting for my embarrassingly shit code to compile...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:13, Reply)

That's pretty poor...
So you're saying "You're not your Mum"?
That's shit awful.
Consider this a formal warning.
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:16, Reply)

Well, it would have then read
"You're not your mum: it's not the same."

Which is still well below par.
Formal warning received and acknowledged.
Something resembling coffee and breakfast sought.
Present state of graph for conference well and truly despaired over.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:18, Reply)

I recommend strong coffee,
And BACONS.
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:18, Reply)

You love it!
Actually I have been told my cuntiness is actually endearing and sweet. And you all fucking love me so it must be true
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:11, Reply)

I guess so.
I had Adventure Fail at the weekend :(
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:14, Reply)

Did you not have fun at
Barryland?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:14, Reply)

Barry is so shit
it's not even shit in a good way. it's just shit
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:16, Reply)

I didn't go there.
The road to Cardiff was real slow with traffic, so ended up going for a walk some place with loads of locks, and eating ice cream.
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:18, Reply)

better than going to barry

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:18, Reply)

I still wanna go there.
Did you know Fred West's ashes were scattered in the sea there?
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:19, Reply)

I did
but I suspect it is because you told me
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:28, Reply)

Also,
The beaches on Barry were voted cleanest in Wales last year.
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:29, Reply)

they must be pretty clean then
the beaches I've been to in wales are spectacularly lovely. I'll try and find the name of a beach I've been to that is particularly nice. it's worth checking out.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:35, Reply)

Yeah!
Let me know, eh?
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:12, Reply)

I don't think so. And I know other people don't think so too.
Just cos a select few do doesn't mean every body does. Sorry to burst your bubble. Don't swallow me with that cavernous vag of yours now. s'just forum banter innit?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:16, Reply)

just saying it's forum banter doesn't make it so
your bitterness is shining through like a goddamn beacon. I recommend a course of not-taking-everything-so-seriously.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:18, Reply)

And 1000cc of BACONS.

( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:19, Reply)

HOW DO YOU STOP THE BACON?

( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:22, Reply)

You don't
We're fattening you up catface
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:24, Reply)

Yeap!
It's gonna be amazing.
Should we put it on the calender?
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:25, Reply)

Yes lets!
We should have another leam bash too
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:27, Reply)

^this
But with less marker pen...
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:27, Reply)

less more
(bill, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:30, Reply)

Yeah, we should.
I think we should go to the pub again.
I like that pub.
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:28, Reply)

Actually, I forgot.
Maybe this is a bad idea, seeing as you're so HORRIBLE.
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:29, Reply)

*cries*

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:30, Reply)

You don't have any feelings, you're a MONSTER.

( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:33, Reply)

It's not true
Al is the only one who understands me!!1one!!11elevenz
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:37, Reply)

Ok well
let me know when you are free (and as you control Catface and he has to drive you he is free) and we shall organise another shin dig *dances*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:29, Reply)

With MOAR mariokart
Is it sad that I'm tempted to bring my wii and another telly so that we can play with MOAR screen each?
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:32, Reply)

I vote this
WIN!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:33, Reply)

I vote this WIN too!
I'll bring my sexiness.
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:34, Reply)

You're bringing Mel?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:37, Reply)

No
I'm bringing Mel. Kaol will be left in my boot.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:39, Reply)

Oh :\
I think we'd be coming from Wales though, haha!
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:48, Reply)

And your suckiness
Which is good as I'm a little worried that bill and TGB will be better than me now that they have MK to play themselves.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:38, Reply)

Yup
we practised lots at the weekend too :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:40, Reply)

Oh dear
I might have to dust off my wii soon then.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:41, Reply)

you can't
apollo 440 did a song about it.


you know, can't stop the bacon.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:24, Reply)

bitter?
no - I'm all blunt and honest me. I'm just telling a truth not everybody might want to hear. For instance - I know that a lot of you don't like me, and I know a lot of you see me as just some kid - but frankly, I don't really care about anything much at the moment.
Provide said course, and maybe we can take it together? You sound awfully grumpy :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:20, Reply)

if there's one thing I'm not guilty of, it's taking things seriously
perhaps bitter wasn't the right word, but you are too much with the fluff and hugs for real bluntness and honesty.

wouldn't say I didn't like you. it takes all sorts. don't care for the fluff much, but hell, at least you aren't as dull as piston_broke
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:23, Reply)

You don't know me very well,
if you think I'm not blunt when I need to be. Or want to be. The reason I'm fluffy as often as I am is because I don't generally like saying everything nasty on my mind. I'd rather treat people how I want to be treated. So Damn, I'm going to be fluffy if it kills me.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:30, Reply)

there's a line between being nice because that's how you want to be treated
and being nauseating with hugs and love.

I'm not an advocate of full time, immediate cuntiness because that gets just as dull as anything else, and I'm all about not being bored.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:32, Reply)

I like VC
And she is not fluffeh ad nauseum.

/edit... oh and you're all cunts! :)
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:42, Reply)

it's not constant
but it is intense
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:43, Reply)

After staring at that line
I started to imagine a camp site stuffed with kittens.
Fluffeh In Tents.
Made me giggle. Then die a little inside.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:48, Reply)

OH MY GODZ
VC doesn't like me. Man my whole world has just come crashing down.

Somebody hold me please?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:21, Reply)

*holds*
*with knives*
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:22, Reply)

Never said I don't like you,
just that I don't like your cuntishness. When you're actually nice - and you mean it - then I find you fairly pleasant to be around. When you're not - well, I've said it all already.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:22, Reply)

You've never been around me
And I am never nice and mean it
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:25, Reply)

INTERNET LIES!
You have been nice. I have a coffee shop in some northern moors somewhere to prove it.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:26, Reply)

Awight Darlin
Long time no see, you moved into your new digs yet? I have no concept of time so forget when people are doing stuff....
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:28, Reply)

Extra long time to reply
Am moving Wednesday.

ARRRGGGHHH!!! I have a LOT of possessions.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:40, Reply)

Time for a good clean out then!
Sell sell sell!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:47, Reply)

You are assuming anyone would want to buy
any of the old crap I'm prepared to part with.

Charity shop and skip m'love. You're going to have to learn how to live with boxes.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:49, Reply)

You can build a fort!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:11, Reply)

Oh yeah!
I'll build a giant cardboard box fort. And fire those little polystyrene balls at passers by. That'll make the neighbours like me!
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:13, Reply)

No need to get hung up on the technicalities
Just because they're not giving you a reach around doesn't mean they're not fucking you.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:27, Reply)

I would,
But I've got both hands on the back of Capt'n V's head.
He's under my desk, y'see.
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:23, Reply)

I hope
You still provide the small Vietnamese boy for him to sit on. One must maintain standards you know.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:28, Reply)

Nope.
I prefer the mat-of-interwoven-orphan-babies.
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:32, Reply)

Oooooh, get him.
Moving upmarket? Show off.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:42, Reply)

*shrugs*
A gentleman's gotta do his best.
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:51, Reply)

Vampyrecat
No one is liked 100% of the time by 100% of the people. It just doesn't happen. I know full well that I'm not particularly liked by some people on this board, but I'm appreciated by my friends on here, hence I keep coming back. Well that and boredom.

You stated below that you have a ton of work to do to finish high school, so why not stay off the net for a while, get it done and then come back. You might find you do a little growing up in the mean time.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:56, Reply)

becky trying to give sensible advice
does....not....compute.....


*explodes*

how are you today cum-sponge?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:58, Reply)

It's ok she wont take heed of it anyway
I tried doing that by gaz and telling her to constructively MTFU, but it didn't work.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:02, Reply)

you'd be surprised becky.
You were the one who told me to stop apologising for my existance and to try standing up for myself. So I am.

Or were those gazzes a subtle hint to fuck the hell off? cos if so - I'm not going anywhere.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:10, Reply)

But you're still doing it though or can you not see that?
You don't like it when people argue back with you. Saying that Al and TGB can't post in your thread is exclusionist and poor.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:20, Reply)

I never said they couldn't post in my threads,
I said if they were going to be cunts - then to fuck off. There's a difference.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:24, Reply)

Coffee on keyboard
Grown-ups? On B3ta? Where? Fucking hell, whatever next!
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:03, Reply)

*waves*

( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:12, Reply)

*chokes*
Being tall does not a grown up make you.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:18, Reply)

You would say that
midget boy
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:20, Reply)

Hahaha!

( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:23, Reply)

because it's holidays.
And I need a fucking break. I've had two weeks of exams, then jumped straight into the next semester of classes. I've been actually doing homework and trying to relax in turn. It's day three of a fourteen day holiday. I *need* this break. I'm not a machine, I can't just keep going, and going, and going full steam ahead like I do during term. I get to the holidays and pretty much sleep for the first two days (which is what I've done).

I'm not saying everybody is liked by everyone else all the time. I didn't say that anywhere and I'm not going to bother.
I'm sorry I didn't come on here, fully formed in my adulthood like some people seem to wish with all my "grown-up-ness". But I'm not fucking going anywhere. I come here to escape from everything else - not to be as "grown up" as I have to be both my jobs and at school. Or when I'm convincing my dad to go back hospital because he's not well. I'm sorry I can't seem to live up to everybody's expectations - but don't have any expectations of me, and you won't have a problem any more.
Or just hit ignore. It's that easy.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:08, Reply)

I have no expectations of you because I don't know you
Why would I? However you post a lot on these boards and inflict your opinions and whining here as much as anyone else. However, its only you who gets personal when there's banter going on.

If you're so unhappy all the time in your real life, maybe it's you that needs to change in order to be happy.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:13, Reply)

okay. I'm not going to be personal here - I'm really not,
but do you really think I haven't changed? At all? One ounce - ever? Just because you don't see me, don't know me, doesn't mean I haven't changed. I *am* a lot happier then I was even 6 months ago, a year, two years, even three years ago. I'm not perfect - I have wobbles - But I am getting there.
This bash I'm going to on Friday? I'm going by myself - I never ever would have dreamed of doing so even last year, even though I've known people who've been going since they were 14. I was too scared - I *am* nervous. This is me making an effort to push myself out of my comfort zone. This is me trying to change.
I don't really know if you see it as that or not - but for me this is huge.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:23, Reply)

I'm talking about on here. Oddly I cant see what you do when you live in another hemisphere
I mean how you conduct yourself on here. You don't have to change if you don't want to, that's up to you. Just recognise that things could be so different for you online and offline if you did. But hey, it's good that you're happier. I hate fucking EMO's
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:32, Reply)

ahaha god that actually made me laugh that last bit.
I'm not changing. This is me, fluffiness, shit moods and all. If people don't like it - they can forcibly insert it into their rectums.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:36, Reply)

Fuckit, you don't listen, even when I try to give you serious advice
far as I'm concerned you can get to fuck.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:04, Reply)

Grr stop it.
YES, too much fluffy can be overload. Who gives a shit. Too much cuntishness is upsetting if you're actually feeling like shite.

Live and let live. VC, I really like you, and as hard as it is to not take things personally, you just have to. Tell everyone they're a cunt and get on with it.

Becky, I think you are brilliant, too, but if someone's down in the dumps it's too easy for them to take everything personally, and telling them to get over it (which has its place) may just send them off.

But you both know this, so for the sake of peace and prosperity, and because arguments like this are neither funny or interesting, just live and let live.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:19, Reply)

^this
Very fucking this.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:22, Reply)

V
stop humping your computer screen
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:23, Reply)

Sorry love, I like debates. keep the blood flowing

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:22, Reply)

Just had to patch up someone's hand.
Thanks for that.
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:24, Reply)

what'd they do?

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:27, Reply)

Sliced themselves open
With a Stanley Knife.
Was bleeding a lot, and I can still smell it.
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:30, Reply)

VAMPIRE
VAAAAAMMMMMMPPPPIRE

PS. Answer my gaz fucktard
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:32, Reply)

What gaz?
OH YEAH, I LOST IT!
LIKE YOU LOST MY NUMBER :(
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:33, Reply)

:(
It was an accident. I lost all my numbers but obviously yours was the one I most held dear to my heart and I have been crying about the loss of it for days
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:35, Reply)

You didn't ask me to remind you of my number
*cries*
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:52, Reply)

She knows yours
Off by heart.

01279-CATFACE
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:56, Reply)

Wrong
I don't have the same area code as you!
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:57, Reply)

I got that off Bill
But changed the name so you are in my phone as Catface
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:03, Reply)

That's not my area code either...
I figured you might have the same one as Stortford :p
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:06, Reply)

I figured the same thing about you

( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:10, Reply)

Nah,
I've got The Mystery Code.
There's about three small towns and a few villages with it.
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:16, Reply)

is it making you hungry?

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:32, Reply)

I've got confused feelings.
As the guy whose hand it was just started working here.
And he's my brother :\
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:33, Reply)

Oh my
How long before he lets something catch fire then roll into a building that has sleeping people in it?
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:34, Reply)

Few days,
I reckon.
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:35, Reply)

I've seen The Lost Boys
(about a million times)

Your brother can save you.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:36, Reply)

I love that film.
It's the only reason that I'm tempted not to get my hair cut tonight.
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:45, Reply)

Don't cut your hair!
Which reminds me... pub time tomorrow =D
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:51, Reply)

Yeah :D
I'm getting it cut tonight.
But I'll be wearing my hat tomorrow.
Which I've finished painting now.
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:53, Reply)

Painting your hat?
You're talking about the cowboy hat right?

*sighs*

I don't think I want to be seen with you tomorrow.

:edit: I mean ever.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:55, Reply)

Yeah!
It's black now.
So I get ten Evil points every time I wear it.
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:55, Reply)

How's that my fault unless they were reading this and I enticed them to do it?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:33, Reply)

too early for lunch?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:33, Reply)

I am tempted to go and lick the tissue.

( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:34, Reply)

Absolutely
^ this.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:24, Reply)

thanks for that
really furthered the discussion
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:25, Reply)

Playing devils advocate here
But that's not really very different to my reply which also didn't add anything to the conversation.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:27, Reply)

you're keanu reeves?
I wouldn't have said anything normally, but I had to scroll up for ages to see what he was saying ^this about. and that annoyed me. ever so slightly.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:29, Reply)

Well I am Mr Anderson...
And yea that pisses me off too.
( Captain V, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:32, Reply)