People who, despite being told yesterday that they can't do thing B without me doing thing A first,
and that they should ring me to do thing A whenever it's convenient for them, attempt to do thing B anyway. And fuck it up royally. And then call me and say in a pathetic voice "oh, it doesn't seem to be working". And make me waste chunks of my afternoon fixing their stupid mess.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:59, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Having a nice evening?

( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:05, Reply)

Have you had
a spunk shower yet?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:07, Reply)

Nope. Have you?

( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:08, Reply)

would you like one?

(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:58, Reply)

I am now, thanks.
At home in a cool room with a cold beer :)
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:08, Reply)

Good news indeed.
For a minute there, I was worried you were still at work.
( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:09, Reply)

Nah,
I may be a masochist but I'm not going to stay in the office past 9.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:10, Reply)

Unless it's to have a really good wank

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:11, Reply)

For true masochism
do it with that cactus.
( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:12, Reply)

I've already injured myself on that spiky bastard twice.
I may make a little cage to keep it in. Out of paperclips or something.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:14, Reply)

Oops!
It was your idea.
( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:15, Reply)

I'm not complaining!
It is a useful mong-deterrent.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:18, Reply)

*is deterred*

( Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:20, Reply)

My work here is done.

( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:21, Reply)

How does it deter them?
Do you shove it in their faces?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:22, Reply)

Pretty much.
Although the beauty of mongs is that you say "Don't touch the cactus, it's really spiky" and ten seconds later they're running bleeding to the bathroom.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:23, Reply)

If this is in any part true
then this will be the best present I've ever bought.
( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:24, Reply)

Erm
*hides patched up hand*
( Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:26, Reply)

It is a fine effort indeed.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:26, Reply)

Stay back!
I don't want your diseases.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:22, Reply)

*cowers*
*cocks head to one side*

Spare some food for the hungry?
( Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:23, Reply)

Tin of Felix suit you?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:24, Reply)

One takes what one can get

( Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:25, Reply)

Why are you hungry, little V?
Have they locked you in the cupboard again?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:27, Reply)

Aye they have
The bastards. I managed to scrape together a pawful of fluff from behind the mugs but it wasn't particularly fulfilling.
( Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:29, Reply)

If you stop shitting behind the sofa
they won't have to punish you so much.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:30, Reply)

It's either behind the sofa
or in his pillow case.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:30, Reply)

Kaoltard

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:21, Reply)

That's what I call my left hand
because it's covered in spikes.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:14, Reply)

No no no
wank = sandpaper
anal beads = Cactus
fleshlight = meat mincer
( Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:16, Reply)

Enough of your personal life!

(Stiff Richard, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:17, Reply)

Oh dear god, that really was more information than I needed there

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:26, Reply)

V has the smoothest dick ever.
But it's very narrow.
( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:33, Reply)

It'll never be the same again

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:35, Reply)

Nonsense!
Couple of coats of varnish, he'll be right as rain.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:36, Reply)

Use good stuff, mind.
When I put my hot cup of coffee on it, I don't want to stain it.
( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:40, Reply)

Into the realms of madness here
carry on
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:49, Reply)

My arse bleeds a lot though
Thinking about it now I should've said empty jars instead of cacti for anal beads.
( Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:37, Reply)

YOU ARE JAR MAN

( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:39, Reply)

OH FUCK I JUST LOST THE GAME
when I remembered Jar man
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:42, Reply)

You cunt

( Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:42, Reply)

You fucking love it you girl
Now bend over for me
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:46, Reply)

*bends*

( Captain V, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:48, Reply)

lubes up

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:50, Reply)

I hardly think that's necessary.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:52, Reply)

I was being nice, but if you think it's unnecessary...
delubes
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:58, Reply)

It's V, for pity's sake.
Rub some grit on it.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:58, Reply)

But he'd enjoy that
We can't have that
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:00, Reply)

Take away his phone.
He'll cry.
( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:10, Reply)

Oh I like the way you think
takes notes
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:10, Reply)

Kaol

( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:18, Reply)

DEREK JAR MAN!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:44, Reply)

GTFO

( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:44, Reply)

What?
I thought that was quite good.

That crash space we have reserved for you could easily be reallocated you know.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:49, Reply)

In that case...
it was quite good, You're right.
( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:51, Reply)

HA!
Bow down before my superior blackmailing skillz!

The shed is all yours.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:54, Reply)

Bloody northerners.
You just can't manage this out-of-cave dwelling business, can you?
( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:56, Reply)

Be fair,
the climate is a lot harsher in the Frozen North. Normal houses are just crushed under the glaciers.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:00, Reply)

It's an en-suite I'll have you know.
There's a manhole cover just outside.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:02, Reply)

We're not supposed to call 'em 'manholes' anymore.
Unless you're talking about man holes.
( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:03, Reply)

Are we sidling up to each other again?
How long before we fall off, do you reckon?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:04, Reply)

Well it was fun last time...
let's do it again and see.
( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:05, Reply)

OK
Are we there yet?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:06, Reply)

Are we there yet?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:06, Reply)

Are we there yet?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:07, Reply)

*breathes in*
*squiiiiiiiiiiiishes*
( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:07, Reply)

Arrrrrrrghhhhhh!
*falls off screen*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:07, Reply)

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:09, Reply)

Bow before my superior 17" screen. Nothing falls off here

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:11, Reply)

Kaol

( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:17, Reply)

Let's be honest, here.
empty jars
Kaol
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:47, Reply)

He'd have them prepped with formaline though
That one was empty when he started
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:52, Reply)

Kaol is empty.
He's gonna see all this tomorrow when he searches for his own name.
( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:54, Reply)

Because that'll be the first thing Kaol does when he gets online tomorrow
Searches for the name Kaol
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 22:59, Reply)

Whilst stroking his cock
named Little Teeny Tiny Kaol.
( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:00, Reply)

Do you reckon he sandpapers too?
Kaol I mean
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:03, Reply)

Haaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha
Sand makes him cry, so he only does it when he wants a crywank.
( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:06, Reply)

Looking at polar bear porn?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:06, Reply)

Polar bears are there for admiring in a fear way, not in a wanking way

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:12, Reply)

I'm going to reply with 'kaol' to a few random posts to annoy him.
*wanders off*
( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:14, Reply)

well we know you just do it cause your a cocktease ;)

(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 23:44, Reply)