Question Time
Someone has parked their shitty BMW 1 series outside the roller door to my office. Now, I don't need to get in to the garage at the moment, indeed, I very rarely do, but it does irk me that someone is so fucking stupid that they think it's okay to park in front of a garage door on an industrial estate.

So, people of Off Topic, what can I do?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:02, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Write a note,
or nuke it from orbit.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:03, Reply)

pssst
there their

also, create a fake parking ticket, attach it to their window with a note inside detailing how cretinous they are
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:04, Reply)

I don't know what you're talking about.
*looks innocent*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:05, Reply)

WWAFD
(What would Axel Foley do?)

Stick a banana up the exhaust.
( Captain V, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:04, Reply)

Oh I like this one.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:05, Reply)

that's going to be how I live my life from now on
(not having a banana up my exhaust, although that has some appeal)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:06, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHAHALOL
APEEL!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:11, Reply)

Block it in.
And shit on the bonnet.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:05, Reply)

BMW vs. Honda Accord
in some kind of Transformers-style battle.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:05, Reply)

Throw in my mum
and you've got yourself an instant blockbuster.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:08, Reply)

blockball
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:10, Reply)

Could you wait for the owner
and physically threaten them?
I'd like to be able to do this but I'm smaller than most people and can't fight.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:10, Reply)

This is al
he can only threaten them if they're a Roundhead.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:12, Reply)

ok...
:D
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:13, Reply)

He's implying I look like the laughing cavaliar
which in fairness, I do.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:16, Reply)

He does
It wasn't very funny to start with, and without knowing that it just became a bit weird.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:19, Reply)

As long as you don't look like the Mona Lisa
scary smug dead bitch
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:21, Reply)

I like
the fake parking ticket idea. Instead of a letter with a fine, write a letter telling them exactly how and why they touch ham. Go mad. Scare them. It'll be fun...
(berk, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:13, Reply)

Anyone nearby with a forklift?
Warehouse or something? Stick it on top of a skip. And weld the doors shut. After filling it with shvaing cream. And write "BMW OWNING CUNT" on the doors with a large knife.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:19, Reply)

Edit
doors owner
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:23, Reply)

what,
weld the owner shut? I like this.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:28, Reply)

or
"COCK PISS PARTRIDGE"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:27, Reply)

Haha
Totally this.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:32, Reply)

yes, but as we know, that can easily be amended to read something less offensive

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:37, Reply)

Fire
Solves so many of life's problems
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 13:03, Reply)

have a friend who works at a garage?
slip the guy £20 to tow it round the corner
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:58, Reply)

Or better still, get the reg plate
and get the owner's details off the DVLA, which are quite cheap I believe.

Then start sending nasty things to his house. Fake speeding tickets is a good one.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:59, Reply)

Are you a member of the RAC?
Phone them up saying you've lost the keys. They turn up and prise the door open with some peculiar air bags or something.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:01, Reply)