Anyone know how much an engineer's report might cost?
Our PC monitor is borked (it won't switch on) and I've complained to PC world about it as it's less than two years old and should therefore be considered as still in guarantee. I've just had a reply back from them asking for 'an independent engineer’s report, to assist our investigations. This report must state the nature of the fault, its probable cause, diagnostic procedures used and the total cost of the repair showing a breakdown of labour charges. If the monitor cannot be repaired, this must be stated'.

I'm going to quote directive 1999/44/EC at them as I think they're taking the piss slightly, but just in case, has anyone had to have an engineer's report done, what did it cost and how long did it take? And also, do PC World have the right to ask for this or should they just replace the fucking thing?

And if nobody has a bloody clue about this, what is your favourite place in the world?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:17, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Your house : )

( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:19, Reply)

Awww.
Fanks :)
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:25, Reply)

Reply saying:
"If I knew anything about engineer reports then I wouldn't have bought a PC from your company.

Either explain yourself better or point me in the direction of your complaint department "
(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:19, Reply)

I may just do that.
Cheers Chompy!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:24, Reply)

For all your complaint needs...

(PsychoChomp, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:29, Reply)

I can't really say I have a favorite place in the world.
It might be Oxford street around christmas, preffably with snow, and lots of flashy-blinky lights, and people selling cashewnuts-in-caramel, and everyone just wanting to go home, with homeless people with over-flowing-with-money coffee cups, and you just walk into John Lewis for the guard to tell you it's shit "Please, i'll only be a minuite" - "ok mate, but be quick". And the christmas decorations in all the windows down Harley Street promising if not a cure, at least respite from what troubles you. And carolests singing and dancing, and that tramp with the dog just looking for somewhere to move onto, anywhere, because he can't stay there and nowhere accepts dogs, but has chosen his one companion over shelter. And the London Lite guy has given out all his papers for the day, time to go back to base to drop off the telly and then home time.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:24, Reply)

Rign them up and say these exact words
What do I sound like? A fucking idiot?
You seriously think I'm going to get an engineers report for my computer screen, under warranty from your shitting shop? Really?

How about I bring the monitor into the shop and you can use one of your 'engineers' to assess how broken it is, at your own expense you total fucking cunt? Would you like that?

HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL, BUYING A MONITOR AND BEING TOLD WHEN I BOUGHT IT THAT IF I HAD ANY PROBLEMS YOU WOULD SORT IT OUT FOR ME.
I NEED THIS MONITOR TO LIVE, IT IS IN FACT MY HEART MONITOR

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?

EXACTLY

I am extrememly disapointed in your turdy shop you fucking pædophile.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:26, Reply)

How can I possibly
argue against a trainee barrister's advice?

I won't ring them though. Last time I did that I singularly failed to speak to a hooman. The computerised voice service just hung up on me.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:32, Reply)

Go into the shop
and hassle them in person.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:35, Reply)

Actually
on a serious note, you could try write to the shop and state that you will get an independent engineer to look at the monitor and state what the problem is. If the engineer states this is not due to my damaging the product then I will expect a full reimbursement of the price of the monitor, a full reimbursement of the price of the engineers report and full compensation for the time spent getting all this stuff together and the lack of a monitor(I would say 10 hours at your standard hourly wage of £75 is reasonable).

Look at this:
whatconsumer.co.uk/how-do-you-measure-quality/
So you may have to demonstrate it didn't fail because of you misusing it. Any computer shop should be able to look at it and give you a letter saying it wasn't your fault.

Failing that, go to the shop and make a lot of fuss, insist on seeing the manager, refuse to leave, talk loudly but calmly and make everyone in the poxy shop aware of how bad the customer service is.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:34, Reply)

Hmm
I'm in the process of emailing them back. They have said that they will reimburse the cost of the report IF my claim is successful, the cheeky twats.

I don't see how there can be any claim of misusing the monitor - it's the on/off switch that has stopped working suddenly and you can tell by the general state of the monitor that the switch has not been repeatedly pressed with a large, blunt implement.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:41, Reply)

Forget e-mails
go in their in person and get your northern anger on.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:44, Reply)

Can't do anything
until I get the replacement credit card statement I requested from Barclaytard A WEEK AGO!!!!

I've lost the original receipt, y'see.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:49, Reply)

The on/off switch?
Ah. They're often the first things to go.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:53, Reply)

I wish you had an on off switch.

(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:54, Reply)

The monitor on/off switch is not covered under the warranty against
fatfingeredness and spacktardation
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:53, Reply)

Are you?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:54, Reply)

Hmmm
...if that went to court (which is likely to be the only way to get PC World to do anything!), then you would only be awarded a maximum of £9.75 (as per the county courts act) per hour for your time.
(dchurch bah, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 14:06, Reply)

I would suggest you take the monitor back, ask them to diagnose the fault, tell them that whilst they are working on it you’d like a replacement monitor (consider it a courtesy monitor) and for them to agree to a resolution (of the resolution?) within 14 days.

Also point out that regardless of the what they say, you are legally entitled to a replacement OR a refund against faulty goods, unless a guaranteed repair can be carried out in a short space of time.

Actually, fuck ‘em - go in with your receipt, tell them the monitor has the bad aids and it’s gone full-blown whilst it’s under guarantee and request your money back, then, with your money, go to a different shop buy a new monitor, go home, connect it and enjoy the internet. Give them some facts about your statuary rights and don’t take no for an answer.

Top tip though, when complaining, it helps not to swear or indeed gesture/threaten physical violence against the person who has been tasked with fobbing you off. This is frowned upon, unless you are a double-hard bastard and can wind someone up sufficient that you can get them to take a swing at you, in which case, replacement monitor, and if you play your cards right, loads of other free shit.

The End.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:35, Reply)

No worries there
I am the epitomy of mild mannered restraint and courtesy, even when mightily pissed off.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:47, Reply)

my favourite place in the world
is by the tidal lagoon near Porthcothan in Cornwall. None of the foreign countries I've been to have been as beautiful, or as comfortable.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:36, Reply)

You are fine.
The goods are not fit for purpose and, particularly with electrical & 'white goods', even if not under official warranty you are protected by the law. Goods should function for what is deemed a 'reasonable' period of time - by precedent this is generally regarded as around five years.

They are duty bound to replace or repair your monitor without charge and without your providing proof. Offer to bring it in to a branch where their own expert (ha!) staff will be able to make a speedy assessment - if it won't switch on, why the fuck would you need an engineer to back you up?

You have not been charged for this call.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:36, Reply)

I have looked into this
and am well aware of my rights in this case. I'd mosey on down there this evening, but unfortunately I cannot find the original receipt so am waiting for Barclaycard to get their finger out of their arse and send me a copy credit card statement as proof of purchase.

Wankstains.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:44, Reply)

Fuck it
accessories.euro.dell.com/sna/productdetail.aspx?c=uk&l=en&s=bsd&cs=ukbsdt1&sku=213281

82 quid. Whats your time worth?
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 13:39, Reply)