Morning campers
I have returned from that most amazing experience of my life: Leeds.
Bands were fantastic, new friends were hilarious, amtmosphere was incredible and I would do anything to still be there. Having said that, a proper flushing toilet is a beautiful, beautiful thing. The first thing I did when I got home was flush our toilet - not use, just flush.

Did I achieve all things on my list? Checkity check check. And then some.

AND I met my first proper B3tan, Lampito, even if it was just for a quick chat. :)
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:28, 78 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OMG CHOMPY MISSED YOU SO MUCH!

( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:29, Reply)

fuck off kaol.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:31, Reply)

Three more days.

( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:32, Reply)

I'm counting the minutes.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:33, Reply)

OMG I TOTALLY KNEW IT
Who did he pander to while I wasn't here?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:33, Reply)

Vipros,
Mostly.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:34, Reply)

it's true
despite me not being here
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:36, Reply)

Pffft.
I don't feel threatened at all. A smug beard is no substitute for me.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:42, Reply)

At least he isn't
A terrible friend though.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:44, Reply)

or an awful penis

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:45, Reply)

Or choking on the cock of Ignorance.

( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:46, Reply)

I'm not even that.
If anyone is a terrible friend, its his best mate who came to ask for condoms TWICE.

Nope, my friend knew it was coming and being that she is very much like me, i.e. once its over, its over - no hold over anyone, she told me she thought it was a good thing.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:55, Reply)

I was just saying.
*shrugs*
You seem pretty defensive.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:02, Reply)

I'm a bit defensive yes.
Because I was worried that not everyone would see it in the same way as me and her.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:10, Reply)

Haha!

( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:12, Reply)

You're forgetting,
This is the INTERNET.
You mentioned having SEX. And you're a GIRL.
Nobody bothers themselves with the back-story.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:12, Reply)

Oh yeah.
Its great being a girl on the internet.

Needn't have worried though, all our friends were pissed off at her and happy for me.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:14, Reply)

Is it?
Is it REALLY?
I'll stick with pretending to be male.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:17, Reply)

It is.
Just ask Psychochomp.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:19, Reply)

I shall do.
Might be going for a drink with her on Friday.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:20, Reply)

God, festival bogs.
I was far too close to some of those yesterday.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:36, Reply)

the ones at the festival I was at
were delightfully clean. I was astonished.

Went into one of them and it seemed like they'd piped in the smell of weed, or someone had eaten several ounces, and then crapped it out, almost undigested
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:37, Reply)

smug cunt

(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:38, Reply)

trying to pretend you aren't a panderer isn't going to work
everyone here knows what you are really like now.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:40, Reply)

Did you smugly reach into the bowl,
Take it out and fill your pipe, smugly?
( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:39, Reply)

no
because someone hadn't actually crapped out a load of weed, and if they had I wouldn't have reached in, picked it up and smoked it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:41, Reply)

With smugness?

( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:42, Reply)

I bet he's "high on life"

(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:43, Reply)

Hahaha!
I hate those people so much.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:43, Reply)

I used to work with a guy who said it about caffine,
I never made him a coffee again.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:45, Reply)

I would've made it still.
But spat in it every day.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:46, Reply)

nope
mostly on pot
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:44, Reply)

Some girl fell in.
The big hole-over-a-shared-trough ones. She spent the rest of the weekend being followed by a train of people carrying signs and shouting things like 'poo girl' and 'shit swimmer'
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:38, Reply)

POIDH

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:39, Reply)

that's fucking terrible,
the crowd at Reading/Leeds are the worst of all the festivals.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:42, Reply)

Of the festivals I've been to,
I've gotta agree.
The Download crowds were really chilled out every year. Until you're in the pit for Limp Bizkit.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:45, Reply)

Sonisphere was really chilled
I figured that it was too expensive for cunts.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:46, Reply)

In my experiance,
The more money someone has, the more cunt-potential they have.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:47, Reply)

not if they are spending that money on seeing bands that they actually want to see
rather than going to a festival to be a cunt

and besides, your experience is spelt wrong
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:48, Reply)

You're right.
I totally did spell that wrong. I'm sorry.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:49, Reply)

it's ok
the welsh can't spell

they change their minds about using Cs and Gs at the beginning of some of their words, as and when the mood takes them. and then they lie about it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:55, Reply)

And random W's in words
Are U's for some reason.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:56, Reply)

I also found that it is better to completely butcher their pronunciations
by saying it as it would be in English than to try and achieve the Welsh one. For this reason I never once called my ex by her full name.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:59, Reply)

What was her full name?

( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:00, Reply)

Gwenllian
the double l's make it hard to pronounce
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:03, Reply)

That's a horrible-looking word.

( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:08, Reply)

Easy:
Gwen-snnnnnnnNNNNNNRRRRRRKKKKKKKspit-ian.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:12, Reply)

get used to it
best welsh word - supermarket = archfarchnad
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:12, Reply)

"Services" is pretty good.
Gwarchwollchern or something. I dunno how the hell I'd look that up.
English to Welsh online translator? I doubt ANYONE has that much time on their hands.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:14, Reply)

Well shut my mouth.
Gwasanaethau.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:15, Reply)

This reminds me of one of Wookiee's gems...
According to him, in order to achieve accurate pronunciation of the Welsh language, one requires a throatful of ejaculate.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:04, Reply)

aha god that's Hilarious.
S'like my dad teaching me how to say my "G's" properly in Dutch.
"Pretend you have a gob of phlegm at the back of your throat!"
My face: o.O
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:09, Reply)

Or a nasty chest infection.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:11, Reply)

You remember the
"peanut taste"?
Weird stuff.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:25, Reply)

They all seem to love burning gas canisters at Reading too.
Stupid kids.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:47, Reply)

This is also true of Leeds.
We just blew up all our canned food.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:52, Reply)

That is true.
There was a riot when I went and I was scared. I said prayers and everything.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:45, Reply)

Ah, the Festival.
I remember when Reading was a stonking weekend out. 2005 changed all that.

Glad you had a good time though!
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:47, Reply)

Thanks.
What happened 2005?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:53, Reply)

Idiot scenesters, mainly.
Lots of setting tents on fire and the like. Throwing poo around in the mosh pit. General wankery, really.

Still, that's Reading for you, Leeds may be better behaved! ;)
(Slip Digby is a meat puppet, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:00, Reply)

Shit loads of setting things on fire.
But poo throwing? None of that occured as far as I'm aware.

There were quite a lot of chavvy types, though, and girls caked in maeup and in nice clothes that just made you think: 'what the hell are you doing here?'
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:05, Reply)

Hah!
Sounds like "V Festival".
I only went once to see The Pixies.

Got in a fight with a moron. Got punched in the face. Glasses broke. A bad drive home.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:07, Reply)

well done,
a story about you being punched in the face has actually cheered me up a bit.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:15, Reply)

Glad to be of service.

( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:16, Reply)

The chavvy types didn't seem to be behaving like utter cunts though.
Everyone was generally very friendly.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:18, Reply)

That'll be the drugs.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:23, Reply)

This is true.
As I got out of the car at the station, my mum told me to behave: don't get too drunk, don't do any drugs and don't go off with strangers.

Within two hours of being there, I was wasted, and sat in the hot-boxed tent of a friend of a friend.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Also
The first sleep back in your own bed after a 2 hour shower is ORGASMIC. What a fucking mess I then made of my sheets!!!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:52, Reply)

My mum wouldn't let me properly into the house.
I had to strip in the hall and run to the shower.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:56, Reply)

She totally filmed that,
For Chompy.
( Cawl, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:57, Reply)

I last went to Reading '02
and fucking hated it as I'd gone since I was a teenager to Glastonbury and Reading and had now grown up sufficiently to hate all the teenagers. I swear there were a lot more in '02 than there were when I was their age.

I feel old.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 11:57, Reply)

Agreed.
See also: teenagers these days are much more shit than when I was one.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:13, Reply)

seconded

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:14, Reply)

Feels validated
ONLINE
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:20, Reply)

Ha!
I am going to start going to festivals next year.
*begins Teenagers: Phase II*
( thealternativefact, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 12:24, Reply)

I walked through main camping on the Sunday night/Monday morning
It was FILTHY and FULL OF FIRE.

Oxfield is the way to go. I did work 17 hours in 24, get very tired, spend the last night sober (again), meet a lovely b3tan my own age (not going to happen til I'm about 30...), spend a lot of time shouting at people pissing in bushes, played with a radio, met the Gallows (without realising they really were the Gallows, only managed to match the tattoos to the main guy when he was on stage), fell in love with a crazy DJ from Holland, met a LOVELY Geordie (a real one), had a cooked breakfast at 6 in the morning, and smoked a lot.

Not a bad weekend. Did walk into a pipe in Radiohead though, my leg's a bit knackered.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 14:05, Reply)

Curfew?
Do they still switch off all the music & lock the bogs at midnight then wonder why people trash the site on the last night?

That's what happened when I went to Leeds. Still though, the explosions were kind of fun. got some good memories of Reading but I too find the the crowd a little young these days. Bestival FTW.
(MyFakeName, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 17:18, Reply)

Good
for you. Glad you enjoyed Leeds. Festival wise I only made it to Sonisphere this year, but good lineup and terrific people really made it one to look out for
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 20:49, Reply)