Wake up, cunts - the future's here and the future's got a cock in it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
While you wait in line to administer oral gratification on my swollen love plums, I have a question I desperately need an answer for.

I have reasons for beleiving that an ex has got over me - I think this is the case because I saw some dude knuckle deep in her growler the other day in McDonalds. Being a reasonable mature adult I just want to know this - what's the most offensive thing I can post to my ex to let her know in as cowardly a way as possible that she is a bit of a slapper?

Or - how does Roosta manage to be both AWSOME and ATTRACTIVE at the same time.

Discuss underlings. Go on.
(Roosta, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 11:44, 89 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Did she dump you?

( Peej, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 11:47, Reply)

She must've been blinded by my AWSOMNESS AND ATTRACTIVENESS !!!!!!
Yes, she dumped me....
(Roosta, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 11:48, Reply)

Im shocked.

( Peej, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 13:02, Reply)

I would put up signs all around
town, proclaiming to one and all that Mrs Ex-Roosta is a dirty whore.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 11:47, Reply)

Tch
Everyone knows that already. Try harder. Even her mum's seen photots of her clout on the internet.
(Roosta, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 11:49, Reply)

Cut off your cock and send her that

With some pictures of her
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 11:47, Reply)

I couldn't afford the postage to send my cock
It weighs 20 lbs and is as big as a bazooka
(Roosta, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 11:49, Reply)

just send the bell-end ontop of a fairy cake
and ice on some of the that pre-cum stuff...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 11:51, Reply)

Promising - top of the class you go
I could stick a candle down my japs eye too.

But she loves sucking the cock and I think she'd get a kick out of having my enormous bellend to chew on. I want this girl to suffer, SUFFFEEEERRRR, I tells ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Roosta, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 11:52, Reply)

You could always ask her back out again.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 11:55, Reply)

Oooooh handbags

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 11:56, Reply)

Nothing says 'cunt' to me more
than 'I'm AWESOME and ATTRACTIVE!!!!1'

Is it the school holidays yet?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 11:57, Reply)

Yes - it is nearly the school holidays
I know because I'm a headmaster of a school for whiney little bitches - you should apply. I'm sure you'd get in.
(Roosta, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:00, Reply)

Yep, you got me.
Straight through the heart.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:03, Reply)

No
My bus was full of the little rats this morning
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:00, Reply)

It's just another JMG wannabe
Let them have their moment, you never know, this one could be our new daddy
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:03, Reply)

Bow down and suck it
you underling grunt of a whoredogs anal flange
(Roosta, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:05, Reply)

Sexy talk
dirty cash I want you, dirty cash should keep you warm

Oh-OH
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:06, Reply)

Your name looks like mine
I hope nobody thinks I have an ex girlfriend who shows her big fadge all over town.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 11:54, Reply)

Haha sorry mate
This exactly.
(TheColonel, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 11:59, Reply)

It can only get worse for me
people might even think Roosta's ex-bird is actually me, and that I have a massive fadge.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:00, Reply)

Well
we'll just take your word for it that you don't.

Maybe.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:02, Reply)

yeah thanks

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:04, Reply)

CLUNGESAURUS

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:12, Reply)

No, there's only room for one giant minge on here
Mine is a mouse's ear, not a wizard's sleeve.
Ok maybe a wizard's ear...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:13, Reply)

You're not even a real girl
You're an internet man trying to groom us all into pleasuring your A spot, so if anything it's your gigantic bumhole we should all be discussing, not some imaginary world wide vagina web
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:19, Reply)

My anus would break your finger
I am really a man though. I'm spikeypickle.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:22, Reply)

spikeypickle isn't a man
he's got a uterus
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:24, Reply)

Yeah, my one

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:25, Reply)

ON HIS FACE

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Like a venetian mask

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:26, Reply)

I was thinking more like a rhino-vaginal transplant
but yours would make more sense
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:28, Reply)

Silly Bert
Know your rhino-plastay
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:29, Reply)

I'd quite like to have my nose replaced with a cunt
I'd use it to keep my wheat crunchies in, and gobble on them all day
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:32, Reply)

Roostas Roota!
hee hee
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:14, Reply)

I'm you
So that means you're Roosta too, you numpty
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:15, Reply)

bugger
Silly us
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:17, Reply)

We've got one manky ex
She's putrid.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:17, Reply)

You went out with someone
who gets poked in MacDonalds?


You must be a stud.
(TheColonel, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 11:59, Reply)

I am a SUPER STUD !!!!!!!!!!!
But this encounter is also my secret shame. Yes, I actually went into a McDonalds.
(Roosta, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:01, Reply)

I need proof of the awesomeness
A picture of your elephantine cock ought to do it
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:02, Reply)

Dressed as Duncan Norvelle?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:02, Reply)

I had to look him up
Pffft
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:04, Reply)

You had to look him up?
I am disappointed in you.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:05, Reply)

I'd never heard of him
Even looking at him on Wikipedia I still have no idea who he is or what he's been in
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:05, Reply)

He's been in nothing
Apart from light entertainment.
But a cock would look good dressed as him. Especially in his safari suit.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:07, Reply)

*image search*
Ewwww....
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:09, Reply)

Go'way Bert
Nothing makes you go ewww
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:12, Reply)

It's not the image of him that makes me go 'ewwww'
it's the thought of dressing my cock up in a blonde wig like some eighties Blue Peter presenter reject
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:16, Reply)

the one who died
of the Aids
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:17, Reply)

There is no film strong enough to contain the image of AWSOMENESS of my massive
elephants-leg sized cock. My balls are bigger than PLANETS. BIG FUCK OFF PLANETS !!!!!!!!!!!!! If you would like to see my cock, I think that makes you just a little bit gay, you big gayer you.
(Roosta, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:03, Reply)

I'm a little bit gay for you right now
all this talk of how awesome you are has given me a massive great honk-on.

When you say planets, are we talking mercury and venus size, or Jupiter and Saturn size?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:05, Reply)

Bet it's Mars
Like those Mars planets you can buy in Tesco.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:06, Reply)

Haha!

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:07, Reply)

Planets so big and AWSOME there is no way anyone can comprehend their size !!!!!!!!
Oh, and I am totally gay for you. I would love to spread your baby jelly on my toast and call you Daddy.
(Roosta, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:07, Reply)

I reckon I could comprehend some pretty big planets
Surely if yours were that big they would have collapsed in on themselves and you'd have a big singularity in your pants?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:10, Reply)

stoppit............
you're making me wet with your talk of black holes

you know the only black hole I want is the one you're talking out of, baby.
(Roosta, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:11, Reply)

I'll stop talking out of it
when you start licking it
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:12, Reply)

lolbitter.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:05, Reply)

Cheers
mine's a Spitfire
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:06, Reply)

Doom Bar please

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:07, Reply)

Tribute, please.
And fucking hurry up.
( thealternativefact, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:10, Reply)

6X
I likes
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:11, Reply)

Otter bright
is the way forward
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:13, Reply)

We made one up called Otter's Pocket
It didn't exist. It was a made up bitter.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:14, Reply)

Was it nice?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:15, Reply)

It tasted of Brylcreem and baccy
So yes, lovely.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:16, Reply)

You made an imaginary beer out of
Wookies and hair gel?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:17, Reply)

Not bacca!!!
Baccy!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:18, Reply)

*growl*

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:20, Reply)

Pulls another pint

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:21, Reply)

pint penis
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:24, Reply)

I'm doing both
Like a skier
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Make sure you give enough head
to both
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:27, Reply)

You are only allowed to give 5% head to a pint

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:28, Reply)

and how much to the cock?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:28, Reply)

Europe has not issued a directive on that

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:29, Reply)

The Final Countdown....!!
Doo-do-doo, doo-di-doo-doo-doo, doo-do-doo, di-doo-do-do-doo

*Europes*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:30, Reply)

Joey can't achieve orgasm from fallatio
Europe fact
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:33, Reply)

Neither can I :C
Most of the time anyway, only a couple of women have ever succeeded with me there, but I think that's because you're all so shit at it
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:36, Reply)

That sucks
But it'll do nowt for you!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:36, Reply)

I don't mind
You women come with two other ready made orifices for me to abuse, and they'll happily keep me entertained for hours. As does my Mrs's mouth, she loves sucking away so she does, but it'll never get there, and she knows it
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:38, Reply)

I hope that one day she surprises you
and herself
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:41, Reply)

I'm sure she will
This is all getting a bit 'Waltons'. Start a new thread, woman
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:43, Reply)

*carriage return* DING!
The Waltons
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:46, Reply)

Start a new thread
I'm going in a minute
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:48, Reply)

i can't think of owt
sod off then!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:50, Reply)

QUICK

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 12:50, Reply)

Hahahah, yeah', right, jog on loser.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 1 Oct 2009, 13:06, Reply)