So Gordon Brown can't spell?
Big fucking news! In other news I burned my hand on a hot cup of tea. You think the Sun would print that?

Yesterday I had some fantastic sex. Whether thats a QOTW lie or by some crazy twist of fate actually true, tell me what you did to waste away your Sunday.
( Peej, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:09, 85 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I went swimming and totally got a new cossie
it's blue and shimmery and sparkly, I look like a total mermaid
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:13, Reply)

I suspect it's more along the lines of
Gordon Brown has slightly scrawly handwriting, and a Sun reader can't... er... read.

Remember that the Sun is aimed slightly below the UK average reading-age. And the UK average reading age is 12; and almost a quarter of adults have a level of literacy at or below that expected of an 11-year-old.

EDIT: But I did not have any sex, fantastic or otherwise. Meh.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:21, Reply)

I'm CONDFOOSED
The average reading age is 12, yet most adults have the reading ability of an 11 year old?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:24, Reply)

No - almost a quarter.
And even if it was most, as long as there were some with a STUPENDOUS reading-age, that'd drag up the average.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:29, Reply)

No
that would drag up the mean. The term average is fairly meaningless unless you define how you calculate it. It's this confusion that lets papers make bold statements, such as about house prices, which although correct, are not applicable to what most people would think it means.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:32, Reply)

if you start saying root mean square
people are going to get confused
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:34, Reply)

Root mean square!
*runs away in the confusion*
(Bazongaloid, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:34, Reply)

Fair enough.
I don't know what's the most depressing interpretation of "average" here: neither the mean, median nor mode is exactly inspiring.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:47, Reply)

OI BERT!
I'm ready and waiting where's my pictures of the mens bogs!
( Peej, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:51, Reply)

Ah, shit
I'll pop home at lunch to get my phone's USB lead, take pictures of the Men's room, and turn you on like a big gayer
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:00, Reply)

WOOYAY!
*faps*
( Peej, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:10, Reply)

I went to the beach.
And I soaked up the sun without getting burnt. And had a lovely time with my best friend, who I'm going to miss greatly when she moves away in two months time. And I also studied my arse off in between going to the beach and having a good time with my mate.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:54, Reply)

Are you ignoring me?
Are you ignoring me?
Are you ignoring me?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:55, Reply)

Are you ignoring me too?

(cheeses swept kissed a dog and he liked it., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:01, Reply)

I'm ignoring you

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:09, Reply)

fuck off aussie,
I don't want to here about your "weather" or your "beaches" It's november and shit here.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:01, Reply)

It's fucking awesome down under
as long as you have Mad SkillZ
(cheeses swept kissed a dog and he liked it., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:03, Reply)

I love you too Chompy.
If it makes you feel better - we've had hail and rain and crap weather for the last 5 months. I missed the sun.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:03, Reply)

Cheer up, Captain Happy
Someday you'll find somebody capable of loving you
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:04, Reply)

Bert
can you tell Poppet that her continual ignoring of me is starting to make me upset.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:09, Reply)

Not until you change your sig
you HORRIBLE OLD MEAN BULLYMAN
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:09, Reply)

Done it
now make her listen to me. I just want to get a message through.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:10, Reply)

Nah
I'm not getting involved, if you want to talk to her get a meatpuppet and bully her that way, you bully
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:15, Reply)

They usally have a boyfriend though

(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:17, Reply)

a boyfriend standards
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:19, Reply)

Don't be silly women don't have standards.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:26, Reply)

then why are you single?
BAM!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:27, Reply)

Looks-wise you're ok but you need to work on your personality.
Women like guys with personalities.
( girlinthehole, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:29, Reply)

Meow!
Look at them claws!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:30, Reply)

thanks for the advice captain relationships

(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:31, Reply)

Yes but I have the opposite problem.

( girlinthehole, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:33, Reply)

When are you two gonna get together

(Bazongaloid, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:33, Reply)

there's not enough beer in the world.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:37, Reply)

*sad face*

( girlinthehole, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:38, Reply)

He means for you

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 11:11, Reply)

: )

( girlinthehole, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 11:21, Reply)

Nonsense.
It's sunny and frosty up in Manchester today - altogether quite magnificent.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:10, Reply)

It's just grey and misty
down in that there London.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:11, Reply)

Once again
the t'North is better than the t'South.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:13, Reply)

this is only true
if, like me, you don't include the South West as part of the South.

because we all know the South West is best. (must be true, it rhymes)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:18, Reply)

Are you kidding me?
Truro's a shithole
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:18, Reply)

all largish urban areas in Cornwall are shit
Truro is least offensive of them.

You don't go to the South West for the cities though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:29, Reply)

Truro is a shithole.
But its more than made up for by the lovely places in Cornwall.
( Peej, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:29, Reply)

It's so fucking DAMP in Manchester.
I forgot how much moisture there is in the air.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:22, Reply)

the air my sweaty pants
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:25, Reply)

sweaty pants vagina.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:26, Reply)

Wouldn't you like to know.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:34, Reply)

Oh wait

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:34, Reply)

It's the internet, I can say whatever I like cause it's COMPLETELY ANONYMOUS

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:34, Reply)

Apart from the fact
that we both know each others names.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:36, Reply)

It was sarcasm :)
Yeah, but what's my first name? :P

(people who met me won't have a problem with this)
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:38, Reply)

Please, miss!
I know!
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:40, Reply)

Is it Rumplestiltskin?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:42, Reply)

Yes, I know you do :P
You're SPECIAL.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:43, Reply)

He get's his own bus and everything

(Bazongaloid, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:44, Reply)

You have a lovely name.
It rolls off the tongue.
( girlinthehole, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:42, Reply)

Makes it fucking easy to find me on Facebook though :)

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:44, Reply)

Is it Flip-flap-bibbity-bob?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:45, Reply)

Close, but no cigar

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Is it billy-bolly-penis-pop?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:48, Reply)

Shut up, Alastair :P
I always thought that was your name
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:51, Reply)

It's Alan
Or Nigel, depending on who I'm talking to.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:51, Reply)

My name changes on who I talk to.
I did try to use uniname at the bash, got drunk, forgot, everyone knows me by my real name, which is confusing (due to it being common as hell and I hate it though it suits most people)
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:55, Reply)

Sounds lovely Enzyme.
I love days like that. :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:14, Reply)

Ahh, the sun
What is that great and mysterious object? It is only spoken in myth up here.

Up here being Linkoping, where the sun is only popping out for a couple of hours every day and it's bloody snowing the rest of the time.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:25, Reply)

Heey!
Long time no speak - how're you going?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:27, Reply)

Recovering from a stonking cold
Have life sorted out somewhat. Nothing major happening though, which is just the way I like it!

Hows things in the hot place?
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:34, Reply)

Hot. Busy.
can't say much more to it then that really!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:40, Reply)

Hot and busy is never a good combination
Hot - go and lie in bed until it cools down
Cold - go and lie in bed until it warm up.

Either way, busy shouldn't come in to it.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:45, Reply)

*googles*
Ahhhh... Sweden.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:35, Reply)

Aye
Or, as I have recently taken to saying...

Jag har smör i min rumpspringa
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:39, Reply)

I have snow in my springbok?

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:41, Reply)

Officelol.

( girlinthehole, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:43, Reply)

Nearly
I have butter in my arsecrack. Makes breaking the ice as "the crazy englishman" at parties much easier.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:44, Reply)

Oh yeah this weekend I went and had a look at my old Deviantart page
back from when I was angsty and shit. I have one pic that's been favourited a few times a week since I put it on and is now up to about 600 favs even though I committed the most horrible crime of Lens Flare! Out of curiosity I googled it and found that its been used several gazzilion times on angsty teenagers myspace pages. I feel like commenting on everyone just how shit the picture is. I am a filthy emo icon and must cut myself and cry.
( Peej, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:21, Reply)

Picture
or it didn't happen.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:23, Reply)

Im really really sorry.
www.b3ta.com/board/7613968
( Peej, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:31, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:37, Reply)

oh my god,
that's so shit.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:39, Reply)

I KNOW!
So why do the emo's love it so!?!
( Peej, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:54, Reply)

you're doing shit poetry now.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:58, Reply)

FUCK!
I didn't realise.
( Peej, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 11:14, Reply)

hahaha
that is so awful.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 11:51, Reply)

Hold there good sir!
For emo's are easily swindled out of much cash if you can make your picture the absolute "in" thing. I sense you could make many beer tokens from this.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:27, Reply)

I'm not taking filthy emo moneys
I'd rather take drug money.
( Peej, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:30, Reply)