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(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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Bonjour
I'm in France and am acting smug to fit in with the locals. Anyone else a big fat racist and hate certain races? My personal faves to hate: the Dutch.

EDIT: Apparently "race" is the wrong word. Bert, you is a pedant my friend.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:20, 102 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

There's one race I really hate
I could never be arsed with the 110m hurdles. Kept on tripping over the bastards.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:23, Reply)

You ruddy bastard
my daughter is a 110 metres hurdle
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:24, Reply)

In that case
keep her out from under my feet.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:26, Reply)

That is disgusting
Everyone knows that the marathon is the worse
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:26, Reply)

*cough*
The 'Snickers', I think you mean
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:27, Reply)

Say no to confectionary name changing

(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:28, Reply)

Agreed
Starburst, indeed. Pure nonsense.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:29, Reply)

Besides
Not to mention other evils outside the confectionary world like "CIF". WHy?! Why change one fucking letter!!?
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:33, Reply)

Because it's a european company
and in every other country it was already called Cif
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:35, Reply)

Damn sensible explanations
But everywhere else in Europe Vauxhall is called bloody "Opel". That's what I don't get. Why change some and not others?
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:38, Reply)

Laziness mostly

(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:46, Reply)

And Lays crisps everywhere but here

(

Peej, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:12, Reply)

Pffffft

(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:29, Reply)

All Races
with equal umbrage and fervour

EDIT Oh, and technically, technically , the Dutch and French are races, they're nations. So you're a nationalist
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:23, Reply)

Me too
I was going to say 'human'
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:27, Reply)

Arf

(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:28, Reply)

Pleasepleasepleaseplease
do not reply to my posts. Please? As soon as you do, alarm bells start ringing in my head, and I just know I'm going to say something outrageously offensive and upsetting.

I may have to put you on ignore, sorry
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:28, Reply)

The English
I'm always disturbed when I go home to England for a few days. We are one fucking ugly race.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:27, Reply)

Speak for yourself
I'm gorgeous
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:28, Reply)

As am I
I stand out like a foreign beacon when I go home. Or something equally french and smug.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:29, Reply)

I'd have to agree with what you said
on the few occasions I've entered an ASDA, I've thought 'Fucking hell, there are alot of refugees from Beautopia in this place'
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:31, Reply)

"beautopia"
I like it.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:32, Reply)

I was the founder of that great nation
but left when they elected Chad Michael Murray as prime minister.
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:33, Reply)

wasn't he made of dough?
oh hang on, that was Chad Corey Dillon
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:36, Reply)

*looks up Chad Michael Murray*
He's smug-looking to say the least.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:36, Reply)

He's a stare-y eyed twonk

(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:44, Reply)

sorry to reply to you
but that's a superb turn of phrase
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:40, Reply)

Please
give me carte blanche to just say what I want, get it all out, off my chest, and then we'll be able to get on with our lives and forget the whole thing?

EDIT Sometimes, if you can't laugh at the horrifying, harrowing things in life, you'll go mad
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:42, Reply)

You have to learn self control at some time in your life.
Now is as good a time as any.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Shan't

(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Then how will you teach it to your daughter?

(

girlinthehole, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:51, Reply)

Wrap masking tape round my hands
dip them in broken glass and give her a thump if she ever turns out like me
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:53, Reply)

Corkonians or people from Cork
in the southwest of Ireland.

Swan about with an air of superiority demanding things.

Very unpleasant breed indeed.

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:33, Reply)

This is a whole new level
Regionalist...
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:34, Reply)

"Corkist"
Has to be experienced to be believed, man!
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:39, Reply)

I DJed at the Guinness Jazz Festival in Cork once
Wall to wall simpletons
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:40, Reply)

Ha!
I haven't called anyone a "simpleton" for ages. I HAVE to use that before the week is out.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:42, Reply)

Conversely
I call most people that, almost every time I open my mouth
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:51, Reply)

I had a strong urge to call someone a dunderhead earlier

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:54, Reply)

Oooh ooooh baz
Have you watched any of the Soupy Norman youtube episodes? They're absolutely fantastic, I think you'll like them.

www.b3ta.com/links/351315

Sent the link to one of my mates from Corcaigh and he informed me that that's the real capital of Ireland ;)
(

djtrialprice, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:59, Reply)

I hate Germans.
I've only ever met one nice German and that is my mother but she's really only half German.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:38, Reply)

Ze German is German - You'd like her.
I do.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:39, Reply)

Your biased by the fact that she'll have sex with you.

(

girlinthehole, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:41, Reply)

and very efficient sex it is too!

(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:59, Reply)

I'm a lover not a hater.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:44, Reply)

I don't believe you
When was the last time you did any loving?
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:45, Reply)

I bet he's been without longer than I have.

(

girlinthehole, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:48, Reply)

That's imposible,
I'm only 26
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:51, Reply)

Haha!
'touche'
(

girlinthehole, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:53, Reply)

He is in love with his hand
They are lovers as often as he can find a place to hide in.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 18:04, Reply)

pffft

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:53, Reply)

haha

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:38, Reply)

a 'self-lover' perhaps

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Please?
If you don't let me I'm likely to get myself banned forever. You wouldn't want that on your conscience, would you?
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:51, Reply)

No ones going to ban you unless people complain,
you've built this up so much it's going to be a let down.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:54, Reply)

You'll think so at first
but it's a two-pronged attack
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:54, Reply)

I wouldn't care a fig, old bean
I have to say I'm gaining a peculiar pleasure from watching you squirming.

a) you deserve it, and
b) it's character building
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:55, Reply)

AIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDSAIDS
What are you going to do about it, get your sister to sleep with me?
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:55, Reply)

bert, you really are a dunderhead

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:57, Reply)

I took my girlfriend to the local sex shop
she asked the assistant 'Hello, do you HIV any sex AIDs?'

she replied, 'No, sorry. Tucker from Grange Hill took them all, he stuffs them in every orifice to stop the AIDs from leaking out'
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:58, Reply)

That's it, it's out of my system now
unless I think of any more, but that's not likely
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:59, Reply)

: /

(

girlinthehole, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:03, Reply)

Don't pull funny faces at me
Say your goodbyes now, I won't be around for long
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:04, Reply)

*whistles the funeral march*
(

girlinthehole, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:08, Reply)

I just automatically assumed that you mean the imperial march
from star wars...
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:09, Reply)

*storms in, hands on hips*
Look at the state of this place, you lot tidy up, I'm off for a brew
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:10, Reply)

damn it
get out of my head - i did the exact same thing

(i whistled it rather slowly and somberly though)
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:16, Reply)

I'd be quite happy to receive the banning
but the guy could just click ignore if he wants to.

I'd go for banning though
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:09, Reply)

Your delusions of self-importance
make me feel almost sorry for you.

These particular posts don't even have any comical merit.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:19, Reply)

I thought of them the first time I upset you
and they made me laugh back then, now I guess the moment has gone.

EDIT AIDs

DOUBLE EDIT www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yC7HwPh6Es
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:19, Reply)

Now that's actually funny, unlike you
I appreciate that we don't know each other, but for crying out loud man, do you not see that this is a pretty upsetting subject for me - can you really not just let it be, for fuck's sake?
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:28, Reply)

Ooops, accidentally hit return there before I'd finished typing
Part of me honestly thought that there is absolutely no way that somebody would seriously post about their sister's HIV on B3ta, I thought you could have been trying to set up a joke of your own, or you could have been making it up for attention-seeking, aspergers purposes.

I see now that it isn't
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:30, Reply)

for the last time (please God)
1. I AM NOT JOKING
2. IT'S NOT FUNNY
3. PLEASE STOP IT
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:52, Reply)

I'm clicking ignore now, one of us has to
it's for the best
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:59, Reply)

Most white South Africans
One could say they're Boer-ish.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:52, Reply)

cracking work there

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:56, Reply)

One tries, dear boy
One tries.
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:57, Reply)

I've often
found you trying DG.

*boom boom*
(

djtrialprice, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:00, Reply)

*SPANG*
Take that you rotter!
(

Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:02, Reply)

I despise any race that subjegates women.
I'm a bit of a feminist in case you weren't aware.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:55, Reply)

Like the men's 1500 metres?

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:57, Reply)

Pfft!

(

girlinthehole, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:02, Reply)

hahahahaha

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:02, Reply)

There's no race that subjegate women,
there are cultures that do.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:58, Reply)

Race, culture, religion or species.
If one of my sisters is being subjegated then I DESPISE them.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:01, Reply)

Awwwww, KAWAIII ^^!!!!!
'subjegated', cutiewootie wordiez, awww, bless.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:30, Reply)

bad Psycho
Stop pointing out the obvious flaws in BGB's posts. It's not her fault she gets things wrong - she's one of them females innit.
(

djtrialprice, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:02, Reply)

Their brains are 60% less awesome than mens

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:11, Reply)

Well at least we don't keep them in our trousers.

(

girlinthehole, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:13, Reply)

what you have basically said there
is that women's brains are 60% less awesome for thinking than men's penises
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:30, Reply)

Twist my words if it will make you feel better.

(

girlinthehole, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:31, Reply)

I haven't twisted your words in the slightest
let's follow the thread through:

Chompy: womens brains are 60% less awesome
BGB: yes, but at least they don't keep them in their pants (implying that men think with their penises)

that doesn't require much twisting
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:37, Reply)

I didn't post that I accept Chompys suppostion that women have 60% less awesome brains.
I just added that we don't keep them down our pants.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:42, Reply)

you said "at least we don't keep them in our pants"
to me, the "at least" tells me you accepted it
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:50, Reply)

Let it go Vipros.

(

girlinthehole, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:52, Reply)

that sounds like you know I'm right

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:55, Reply)

Why don't women have brains?
~~They have no balls to keep them in~~, They do, it provides mortor functions and keeps cognative behavour in order.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:32, Reply)

It's 'subjugate', for crying out loud

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:31, Reply)

This from a man who can't say no to a crazy woman.

(

girlinthehole, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:32, Reply)

My judgement is poor
My spelling is not
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:44, Reply)

I know which I'd rather be better at : )

(

girlinthehole, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:46, Reply)

damn right
spelling all the way
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:50, Reply)

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