It's occored to me that it's christmas soon.
Who's place am I coming over too, is there anything you want me to bring? I got some vouchers from Marks'n'Sparks, so I don't mind bringing some bite-sized cheese burgers and some saussages wrapped up in bacon. There is a 24/7 shop open across the road from me that'll be open on christmas day, so if you run out of Paxo, I can bring some of that too.

I don't drive, so if you live far, i'll have to come 'round a few days before hand and stay over because I don't think the trains will be running.

So go ahead, pitch your christmas to me, and i'll choose the one I like the most.

Memememme - beaker
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:08, 60 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Would you look after my cat for a couple of days?
You can stay as long as you like but I'll be gone from Christmas Eve night until Boxing Day morning.

On Boxing day I make roast dinner and lots of cakes and treats.
For later I do a lovely cheeseboard and cold meats and olives and crackers and biscuits and port, and vino and Baileys and cava and Cherry B.

My spare room is very comfortable, with a double four-poster, tv etc etc.

EDIT: You must agree to watch the On The Buses film trilogy with me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:12, Reply)

Do you have a dog? Could you replace the cat with a dog, would that be ok?
Is there anything you want me to bring?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:15, Reply)

I got the muppets christmas carrol on DVD.
We'ld have to watch that one.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:17, Reply)

I could make him look like a dog, maybe using a doggy mask.
If not, just keep out of his way and the landlady will look after him.
At Christmas I like to watch the Muppets Christmas Carol, Gremlins, It's a Wonderful Life, and It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:21, Reply)

see i watched gremlins the other day while putting up my tree
and what i dont get is why the fuck billy and his olds dont flip out when presented with this new species. i mean, if someone gave me a mogwai id be like...woah. but they only get wigged out when they turn into gremlins.

it harshes my buzz man.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:24, Reply)

Maybe they didn't want all the media attention they'd get if they sought advice.
Fucked up there didn't they!
My tree doesn't go up until December.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:26, Reply)

fuck all that mine went up last week
its a bit good ive got presents underneath it and everything AND peppermint candy canes im using as a last resort if im drunk and out of food
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:27, Reply)

Racist, innit.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:26, Reply)

cunts

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:27, Reply)

sausages in bacon = pigs in blankets = win

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:12, Reply)

Needs some brie and cranberry and bread.
Oh man, that's dinner tonight sorted now.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:16, Reply)

Come to mine!
We'll be having spiffing fun and jollities. We'll start at 9AM with an Irish coffee followed by a bacon sarnie and a couple of beers whilst unwrapping the goodness that Father Christmas brings.

Next you will accompany us (being myself, the mrs and nipper) to the in-laws for more grub, more presents and more beer.

We'll then tootle back to my house where you can play with your new toys, have some beer and more grub before venturing to my parents.

At my parents we will be drinking heavily. We will also be eating a hearty meal, finishing with port, cheese and maybe a cigar. There will be children so all smoking of cigars is to be done outside. We will then drink more before the gentlemen retire to the nearest public house where we shall drink more.

Following all of this we may be meeting back up with the in-laws and other members of the mrs family for more drinking and cheese. We shall finally finish off at my house where we finish the day with a film or two, more beer and possibly a little bit of something special.

EDIT: Actually, I changed my mind. I'm going to spend the day wanking and crying and you're not invited.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:16, Reply)

Sounds like a lot of people.
Can you uninvite a few of them? I don't like crowds.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:19, Reply)

It's ok
They're all at various places. The maximum number of adults will not exceed 7/8 at any one time.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:20, Reply)

i usually spend christmas with an ex but the selfish cunt has a missus this year
i predict lots of fucking booze and dossing in front of the telly, trying to dig the littluns out from the piles of crap and wrapping paper and then right, then we have PARTY FOOD and more booze and YEAH!
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:17, Reply)

Is Ali G doing a christmas message this year? I'ld quite like to watch that again.
I know it's not easter, but we could do a scavinger hunt with pressents.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:21, Reply)

get this then you cunt
i have to organise a safety thing at work next month and im making it like a murder mystery thing with clues and witnesses and shit
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:22, Reply)

You should add a twist
by actually killing Jean from accounts
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:24, Reply)

i work in a power station, the possibilities of mayhem are ENDLESS

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:25, Reply)

Do you make leccy for my TV?
I hope it's nuclear leccy that's my preferred brand
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:26, Reply)

i'll totally sell you a bucket for a fiver

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:27, Reply)

Do I get to keep the bucket?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:29, Reply)

jog on, saucy cunt

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:29, Reply)

i was going to put my lotion in it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:30, Reply)

"I would like for it to be known that I have redirected the health and safety budget to bottles of baileys....
... on the downside, there are three leaks in the nucular reactor, on the plus side, you won't care."
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:25, Reply)

i have to hide my voddy in my fucking locker, booze is banned on site funnily enough
im still pushing for an office dog. and a raise of the site speed limit. and some new shoes. and that.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:29, Reply)

Mini sausage rolls?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:22, Reply)

oh god dont get me started, id kill a man for a go on a mini sausage roll
hello lover
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:23, Reply)

hey baybeh
Whenever I'm at a buffet I have to steal cold mini sausage rolls and take some home with me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:24, Reply)

My sis told me last night that
she cooked a gammon joint by covering it in batter and roasting, keeps it moist and all the juices soak into the batter, awesome
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:25, Reply)

What, like floury batter?
Or fanny batter?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:26, Reply)

baby batter

saves you having to add salt
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:28, Reply)

true dat

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:28, Reply)

hahahahaha some posh knobs had a buffet at work the other day
and i pocketed fifteen left over mini sausage rolls to take home for dinner. i told you, we're fucking kin
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:26, Reply)

I 'heart' you

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:27, Reply)

Right you lot. I'm orf.
Wish me luck for the pub quiz later...
If there's a 1980s light entertainment heroes round, I'm sorted.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:30, Reply)

be good love you miss you

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:31, Reply)

This thread makes me feel sad
My Christmas is going to be fucking shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:49, Reply)

if I were at home I'd invite you down
for a "white" christmas if you know what I mean
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 18:04, Reply)

American history x on bluray?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 18:06, Reply)

haha
no

nose snow
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 18:10, Reply)

You can come round to mine,
my dad might accuse you of killing jesus, and my mum might think we're a couple.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:50, Reply)

do this, please
and video it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 18:05, Reply)

I fail to see a downside

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 18:06, Reply)

It will be spent at my Aunt's house, dinner, then my cousins and I will make my aunt and mother dance and then we will laugh at them
then I'll probably end up home drinking by myself and watching some stupid movie I will probably be given for christmas.

I simply cannot be bothered with embellishing the fact that I live with lesbians now.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 18:24, Reply)

after six bloody years
of being forced into big, comercial, expensive, in-law filled christmases by my soon-to-be-ex-wife, I shall be enjoying my own brand of traditional christmas, it will involve watching old war films, drinking good beer, eating much nummy food and maybe something nice to smoke and it will be bloody loverly. Welcome to pop round, if you have an adition to the war film marathon, so far I have lined up:
Where Eagles dare,
The Dirty Dozen
The Dambusters,
Ice Cold in Alex &
The guns of the navarone.
might add in Kelly's Heros if I'm wanting more tanks but I'm thinking it's a little Eastwood heavy already
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 20 Nov 2009, 0:38, Reply)