This weekend I finally put a door handle on my bathroom door
and rehung the living room door. It's only taken 2 years.

Fuck you unfinished projects!

edi: you know, I believe I meant to post this on the main qotw. not really worth it though, so I'll leave it here.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:02, 71 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You deserve a break.
Why don't you treat yourself?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:05, Reply)

croissants on the balcony?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:06, Reply)

klingons on the starboard bow?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:10, Reply)

Starrrrrrrrrrrtrecking across the Universe.

( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:15, Reply)

Only going forward
coz we cant find reverse
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:23, Reply)

There's a star trek mmorpg coming out,
I thought you all should know.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:17, Reply)

That's not how you spell "morph"
tsk
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:23, Reply)

or 'mmmmm, PORG'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:27, Reply)

Mmmm...something.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:30, Reply)

Regardless of how it is spelt
it is said "mumorpuger".
( Maladicta, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 17:49, Reply)

I know..
I canne wait, pet.
(Sir Clitherington Smythe offers him yourself., Tue 8 Dec 2009, 13:13, Reply)

The best line is clearly:
"We come in peace, shoot to kill. Although the bit when Scotty loses the bap is equally hilarious.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:23, Reply)

I was just singing that bit
nothing like a good office sing-song
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:30, Reply)

I love that song
And I've never seen Star Trek.

I feel like a fraud.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:43, Reply)

Well done that man! :D
I'm going to paint the bathroom tonight! PINK PINK PINKKKKKKKK!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:19, Reply)

You should paint it in the blood of your enemies.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:31, Reply)

I am
Its watered down with Dulux white gloss! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:35, Reply)

Good good,

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:39, Reply)

How are you mr Chomp?
Good I hope!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:45, Reply)

Yeah, I'm ok,
good news: my housemate has returned safely from Afghanistan
bad news: Pre budget report tomorrow is going to either give me a shit load of work to do or lose my little part of the NHS a shit load of money.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:53, Reply)

Oooh good news about your housemate!! :D
Boooo for increased workload and/or possible NHS money loss!! :(

Still on the brightside its nearly lunch time! Woo woo!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:55, Reply)

Can't you say raspberry or something
The word pink sounds quite frightening.
Should I bring sunglasses?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:32, Reply)

Hehe
Well DiT is convinced I said to him I was painting it raspberry... but I did tell him pink... he may have been drunk when he agreed! Mwuhahahaha
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:36, Reply)

My friend round the corner has just done the 'raspberry subterfuge' thing with her new husband
It must be all the rage.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:46, Reply)

'raspberry subterfuge' eh?
Sounds sexy
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:51, Reply)

Man, I'm gonna open a knickers shop and call it that

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:53, Reply)

Oooh oooh can I work for you!?
I’m surrounded by twats some days so it would be a step up to be surrounded by knickers! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:56, Reply)

Of course!!
You can be on frilly knickers.
I'll be on silly knickers.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:59, Reply)

Ooooh ace!
Can we have hats made out of pants too? I think it would draw a crowd!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 8 Dec 2009, 12:01, Reply)

My empire would crumble without you
You are the wind beneath my knicks
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 12:03, Reply)

I'm going to fiddle with my ballcock tonight.

( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:20, Reply)

fnar

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:24, Reply)

Thank you Finbar.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:34, Reply)

Finbar?

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:36, Reply)

Finbar-ar-ar?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:42, Reply)

Raarrrrrarara?

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:43, Reply)

Arrrrrrr!!!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:45, Reply)

What's up with it?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:32, Reply)

It sounds like an Xpelair.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:34, Reply)

Of course!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:43, Reply)

ARGH MY HEAD
Second hangover.

Hurts.
Hurty hurts.

I lost all my water from crying. I had an emotional breakdown on the steps of the Transport museum in Covent Garden.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:40, Reply)

GIRL
You really gotta sort yo shit out!
I thought you were going out to be fucky in boots???
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:44, Reply)

Well,
I hope I looked nice

I didn't get any. That wasn't the reason, I just suddenly had a sense of loss and started bawling.
Don't mix gin and Jager, even if it is in a cocktail.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:46, Reply)

Awww man
I wish I was 18 again, I could get upset over loads of stuff back then, now I seem so dead inside I only seem to cry when people I know die and stuff.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:52, Reply)

OI!
I'm not 18!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:52, Reply)

Sorry, 17

(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:56, Reply)

psssssh

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 12:06, Reply)

Don't you be letting not getting any make you cry
You're a clever girl. You know about nself-esteem and all that.
You probably never got any cos they could smell the too-much crazy brewing.
You don't WANT any on a night like that. It would be crap and you'd wake up worse.
Have meaningless sex whe you're feeling tip-top (not just LOOKING tip-top). Then it's great!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:56, Reply)

I might go out tonight
and put that into practice :)
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 12:04, Reply)

you need to be careful with gin
I've had to ban my mrs from drinking it because it makes her cry. Jager is awesome though, and has no ill effects.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 12:13, Reply)

Jager is what killed me and Al.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 12:13, Reply)

Is that what it was?
I had no idea what I was drinking.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 12:14, Reply)

Jager is lovely
After 4 cider and blacks and half an abandoned pint of I don't know what, it's not.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 12:17, Reply)

yeah, that'll fuck you up
what you need is to have a shot of jager with each pint of lager after the first, that is the appropriate way to drink
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 12:22, Reply)

That sort of behaviour gets you banned from most chemists.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:47, Reply)

That's what I was thinking

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 8 Dec 2009, 12:00, Reply)

I only just got that
:(
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 12:05, Reply)

She forgot the lube like I told her
Gangbanging gets sore after a while.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:47, Reply)

Will these kids never learn?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:57, Reply)

I try and teach them
I really do, many is the night I go around giving out the lube, but they call me a pervert and hit me with sticks.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:59, Reply)

I was disapointed by the lack of original ticket stubs too.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:45, Reply)

I wanted to go on a train :(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:47, Reply)

onlike
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 12:13, Reply)

*gazzes mods*
You fucking bastard
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:47, Reply)

It could have been worse
he could have suggested she go to KFC.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:48, Reply)

I did try and find a Burger King at 3 in the morning

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:52, Reply)

Jesus, I would have cried too in your shoes.
At 3am surely only a greasy Doner is all that's going to hit the spot. Or maybe a pizza.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:57, Reply)

20p noodles?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:58, Reply)

Have you got lots of sweet chilli sauce?
Or mango chutney?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 11:59, Reply)

Out of sweet chilli
Got mango yeah
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 12:01, Reply)

I don't eat meat, remember?
Well, I do, but not THAT meat.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 12:05, Reply)