BLOODY HELL!
In the spirit of the normal QOTW OT format, i.e., "I am something because of something. What has somethinged you today?", I have the fucking rage.

Why, you might not ask because you don't give a flying fig?

Because on the news this morning, I saw that a family with 12 children are complaining because they might get evicted from their council house because they make too much noise and piss off the neighbours. They were interviewed and the, frankly, fucking scary, wife said "the kids caaaant have kids round to play. We've asked the council for a farmhouse or whatever but they caaaant do nuffink".

For FUCK'S SAKE. I found myself shouting at the television "Well, STOP POPPING THEM OUT THEN, YOU STUPID WOMAN". If she can't afford her own fucking farmhouse to gate up her herd of 12 bloody children (aged 3 to 19), then why the HELL should the tax payers fork out for it? Jesus. I tell you, it's the bloody race to the bottom.

There, I feel much better now.

Actually, I don't. Fucksocks.

So, what have you done recently that you thought would make you feel much better, but, with hindsight, made no fucking difference at all?

Tea. Must drink tea. Lots of calming tea. Tea._{teatea...tea....}
(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 8:46, 78 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I drank over half a bottle of Jack Daniel's last night.
Now I want to die - so in a sense it did make a difference. To my ability to function as a normal human being.

The end.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 8:53, Reply)

You have checked your pulse, right?
And you mean big man-sized bottle, not junior airline bottles for kiddies, right?
(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 8:56, Reply)

70cl
so 'adolescent size', I suppose.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 8:57, Reply)

Is that all?
Lightweight! Tinkerbell phoned she wants her fairy dust back!
( Peej, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:17, Reply)

I know, sorry
I'll try harder tonight.


EDIT it was the fucking 'fairy dust' that got me into this mess in the first place...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:19, Reply)

ym
Now it burns when I pee.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 8:53, Reply)

Well, then,
IT MADE A DIFFERENCE, DIDN'T IT?

How about an easier question: Fruit tea. The devil's watered down semen or God's gift to rehydration for those that have had too much caffeine, but like hot drinks?
(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 8:55, Reply)

The former.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 8:57, Reply)

Disgusting
herbal ain't so bad though, like peppermint, chamomile tea, those "refresh" ones.

But the fruity ones are SICKENING
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:00, Reply)

It's not tea if it don't got tea in it
Hot fruit drinks can be okay. Just have to be careful what you call it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:00, Reply)

What a manly subthread.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:01, Reply)

I drink green tea at work
Quite often I get the "green tea with lemon", "green tea with mint", "green tea with mango". They're pretty good.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:03, Reply)

I just drink plain green tea
it's good shit
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:15, Reply)

Me too
I prefer them to normal tea.

Now, I agree that if it doesn't have tea on it WHY DO YOU CALL IT TEA??

It doesn't make sense...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:19, Reply)

me too
mainly because drinking 10 cups of tea a day turned me into a spitting ball of fury, and i refuse to drink decaf, so i'm down to to one cup or real tea in the morning then whatevers on my desk (Green tea with lemon, strawberry & mango and Fennel)
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:38, Reply)

ODing on tea
You know green tea has MORE caffeine than regular tea and even coffee, right?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:12, Reply)

I'm pretty sure that's not right
or at least, it may have more by weight, but the amount you use and the length of infusion makes a huge difference.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:18, Reply)

Well, they label it tea
It's a sort of tea, surely?

The Twinings ones are not toooo bad. After I've coffeed myself up, I do switch to the odd fruit tea.
(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:31, Reply)

I blame the Pope.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 8:57, Reply)

I blame the Jews
*invades Poland*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 8:58, Reply)

I blame Kerry Katona.
*invades Iceland*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 8:59, Reply)

I blame the Irish
*invades Kilburn*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:13, Reply)

I blame you *invades east end*
*gets chased out of east end by cockney wideboys*
*invades Hampshire instead*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:26, Reply)

I did take 5-6 weeks off the booze
Expecting to feel fresh, energetic and wonderful every day.

This was not the case. So I returned to the evil drink and now I'm back where I started..
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 8:59, Reply)

Welcome back *high fives*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 8:59, Reply)

Aye
the festive season is probably the time to make my return I reckon..
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:45, Reply)

Hung-over?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:00, Reply)

not me (still pissed)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:00, Reply)

in end stage liver failure?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:01, Reply)

Haha
just about...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:45, Reply)

So you think the 12 children should pay for the mistakes of their 2 stupid parents.
So that's 6 children punished for each 1. Yeah makes sense.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:06, Reply)

Orrrr we could put all 12 kids into care, that'll save a packet of tax payers money.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:09, Reply)

Reply to me Deadly Octopus!
I want to compare your views to Fascism
(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:12, Reply)

You buy the daft bint a farmhouse then.

( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:16, Reply)

No, but then no one is going to buy them a farmhouse,
so that's a pointless line of argument.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:17, Reply)

what would be your suggestion?
genuinely curious. I don't have any ideas
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:18, Reply)

Give them all the support they're entitled to,
if they're causing constant trouble to the neighbourhood then they should be moved. Obviously that'll be a problem because there aren't many suitable properties.

but there aren't any simple solutions. That's not my point, my point is that saying "SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!" is stupid especially when you start thinking of them as 14 people rather than 1 family.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:28, Reply)

SILENCE YOUR VOICE OF REASON!
you are, of course, right. As there is no law saying how many kids you can have, then they are entitled to the same as everyone else.

She should still be kicked in the twat though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:31, Reply)

I would be suprised if the couple are "normal"
in terms of IQ or mental illness. You can't stop people having kids though, you just have to make sure that they don't mistreat them, which I'm sure the council are doing.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:35, Reply)

*says the magic words. baby P*
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:43, Reply)

Having a lot of children doesn't mean that you will sadistically beat them to death.
don't be silly.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:45, Reply)

obviously
it means you can spread the abuse between them, rather than concentrating it all on one
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:47, Reply)

I was insinutating that the council will not be keeping a close eye on them.

( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:50, Reply)

We should do what they did in India
and sterilise all criminals!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:47, Reply)

and spackers. And Slavs.
*for the second time today, invades Poland*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:52, Reply)

I wasn't arguing.
I was making a fatuous remark.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:20, Reply)

are you calling me fat?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:28, Reply)

Yes fatty.

( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:35, Reply)

Yeah, it's a tough one alright. Let's just encourage rampant breeding by anyone who can stick the long bit into the hole. And it does seem odd to indirectly compare the Chinese to fascists, there are many things, but I didn't think they were that.
(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:34, Reply)

... so you think the chinese model for population control is a good thing?
oh and what part of the country/government/society encourages rampant child birth? Our birth rate has been falling since the 50's (may be going up again in the last 6 months)
One example of a family is not a trend or indicative of a systematic failure.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:37, Reply)

Well...
... by all reasonable estimates, it's meant that the population of this poor likkle planet is half a billion fewer than it would otherwise be. And no part of the government or society encourages rampant sprogging - it's such a tiny percentage of people doing this that it isn't even statistically valid. But since you've read so much between the lines, you feel free to interpret any old opinion you want since you're already doing a jolly fine job of it.

Alternatively, we could talk about tea and kittens rather than being guilty of being serious on the internet.
(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:45, Reply)

there's a difference between taking things too seriously and having a serious conversation
and frankly either is preferable to talk of kittens
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:46, Reply)

These are wise words
Agreed on the kittens, agreed on the other bit too. Agreement. On the Internet. Twice.
(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:49, Reply)

Fuck tea and kittens,
It also means that there are hundreds of orphanages filled with female children that are just abbandoned. A massive increase in infanticide. A disproportionate effect on the rural poor over the urban elite.

There are two ways to reduce birth rate. Access to contraception and education. That's what has worked in every developed country.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:52, Reply)

And I agree
On both counts. Contraception and education are best placed to equip people to make appropriate decisions. And just for the avoidance of doubt, incidentally, my rage in the initial post does not indicate I feel that the kiddies of these parents should suffer: I also agree that the best opportunity to avoid a loop where any of them repeat this situation is through support and education, but primarily, education. And the Chinese comment was poorly chosen: it's a situation that is too complex to be slapped in as a comparison to today's media wind-up story.
(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:57, Reply)

well that's this argument over.
Do you like U2?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:05, Reply)

Hahaha!
Yeah, they're alright. And you?
(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:07, Reply)

get out

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:09, Reply)

It's probably for the best

(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:11, Reply)

Oo, oo, I know! *waves arm in air*
If you're worried about rampant breeding but don't want to embark on a mass sterisiation project, let's just stop all fertility treatments. Ban IVF. Withdraw Clomid. Abolish Early Pregnancy Clinics. I bet it'd go some ways to evening out the numbers nicely.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:17, Reply)

Ban "free" IVF
Without a valid licence, the NHS or at least our local trust has pretty much banned it already.
( Weejock, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:54, Reply)

They should kill and eat their children.
Problem solved.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:09, Reply)

The answer to all of life's little problems
Kill it, eat it or fuck it.

Or any combination of the three.
(TheColonel, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:15, Reply)

I think all stupid people should be sterilized.
Apart from my sister obviously.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:17, Reply)

YEAH!
Let's start with people who can't spell 'sterilised'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:39, Reply)

I'm not stupid, I just can't spell.

( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:44, Reply)

Yes you are.
*starts rammy*


^ NEW WORD OF THE DAY. GREENOCK COLOQUIALISM FOR 'A SCRAP'. I insist on everyone using this great word - or I'll start a fucking rammy, pal.

(see, it's easy)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:55, Reply)

Actually my spelling used to be shit hot.
But a mixture of old age, mild drug abuse and the invention of the spellcheck has buggered it up.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:02, Reply)

Is that you on the 'commotion lotion' Monty?
By dinner time you will be sitting in a trendy Shoreditch bar glugging back a litre of Buckfast and stubbing fags out on childrens faces.

Fuck it, it's Friday after all.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:25, Reply)

The media love this kind of story, it gets people angry.
Last year the BBC interviewed a single mother who couldnt afford new shoes for her children. They just happened to interview her in her plush living-room which had a massive TV with surround sound and a couple of games consols in the background.

*shrugs*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:20, Reply)

That was almost certainly bought on one of those £3 a week for 7 years kind of deals.
They cost about twice as much eventually as someone who can buy them in cash or even on a credit card. It's one of the reasons the poor stay poor and those companies really are fucking scum.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:31, Reply)

...and because they're thick.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:32, Reply)

Well yes the poor tend to be less educated.
That's why these companies aggressivley advertise to them, and deliberatly use obtuse and vague language in their terms and conditions.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:41, Reply)

I once had a business card through my door
advertising cash loans of between £10 and £300 - 'no need to make payments at a bank, we will call round and collect each week'.

I'll bet you fucking will. With a crowbar.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:43, Reply)

I bet if you were in there would have been someone there literally waving the money in your face.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:44, Reply)

within an hour the debt would have trebled
and I'd have ended up in a motorway bridge within a month.

Gawd love the East End.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:57, Reply)

Meh, fair point
Not everyone is a rampant breeder without considering how their children are going to be housed, fed or cared for. The media, eh? Winding people up since 1642.
(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 9:36, Reply)

.
The wank I had last night to distract me from my crippling loneliness.

Didn't work.

But was still good.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 10:05, Reply)