breaking news: Internet fatty gets erection at mention of pies and fryers

local chip shops said to be on red alert after a series of incedents involving a man wanking into the mushy peas. Police are said to be baffled but hungry
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:10, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

What are "mushy peas"
They don't sound very appetizing.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:12, Reply)

They are fucking gorgeous
they are marrowfat peas that a cooked for quite a long time so they go mushy. You can put mint in with them and they're even better.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:14, Reply)

I HATE IT WHEN YOU OPEN THE BATCHELOR'S, RIGHT
and you're expecting good stodgy mushy peas, like mashed potato but green, almost. But what do you get???
Pea discs in green water!!
I have opened several tins only to discover this disappointing gloop.
Why is there not consistency in the consistency of mushy peas.
If it happens again I'll be emailing Batchelor's about it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:20, Reply)

I've come to mushy peas late in life
and fucking love them. I always forget to buy them from the chippy though because I've spent some many years not having tried them
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:27, Reply)

Snap
Totally snap.
I have them on pasta, because it makes the weight fall off you.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:28, Reply)

They are peas that have been mushed

they are gross, but those who like them love them.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:14, Reply)

You sir, are a buffoon.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:17, Reply)

Well you are a cad and a scoundral
perpetuating your elixier of "mushed" peas, a pox on you!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:18, Reply)

Gaz me your address
I have 4 cans in my pantry.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:17, Reply)

Gaz me your address
I have 4 cans in my pantry.

I have full testicales

EDIT: Just realised who you are... full testicles an empty vagina
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:19, Reply)

Yes

( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:21, Reply)

If you mailed them to me
you might get arrested by homeland security for sending weapons of mass destruction. (Thanks for the offer though).
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:26, Reply)

Yes, weapons of mass destruction
This means massive farts
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:30, Reply)

They have Bicarbonate of Soda added.
A Northern delicacy.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:20, Reply)

and loads of salt and sugar.
They are peasant food.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:23, Reply)

I buy mine from Iceland.
The shop, not the country. And think about Kerry Katona whilst purchasing.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:26, Reply)

i dont know whats more disgusting
mushy peas, or Kerry Katona
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 13:45, Reply)