Last Night was crazy
I had to abandon my car on the side of the road and walk the last two miles through the snow. It was like the spirit of the blitz, people were talking to each other and passing round bottles of brandy, an old man started a fire in an empty oil barrel and a bunch of guys in donkey jackets stood round and rubbed their hands together. I went to the fish and chip shop and a young family were leaving when a man in a high vis jacket warned them not to drive as the roads were like ice rinks, and the man behind the counter gave me an extra portion of fish and chips for free. We couldn't eat them all.

When did you last get given free food (whether you ate it all or not)

p.s. I retrieved my car this morning. It was okay.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:51, 96 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yesterday.
I bought a quick pie from the chippy to warm me up, and the Polish girl behind the counter gave me about half a portion of chips gratis - and a cheeky smile. I thought about shagging her (asking her out, I meant, sorry) for a nanosecond before remembering that she probably stinks of chips all the time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:55, Reply)

She probably wipes her minge
with the cloth they clean the top of the fryers with.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:56, Reply)

>>officelol alert<<

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:57, Reply)

What you just said
*stifles a giggle*
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:58, Reply)

Oh great, now I've got a stiffy.
=(
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:04, Reply)

breaking news: Internet fatty gets erection at mention of pies and fryers

local chip shops said to be on red alert after a series of incedents involving a man wanking into the mushy peas. Police are said to be baffled but hungry
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:10, Reply)

What are "mushy peas"
They don't sound very appetizing.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:12, Reply)

They are fucking gorgeous
they are marrowfat peas that a cooked for quite a long time so they go mushy. You can put mint in with them and they're even better.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:14, Reply)

I HATE IT WHEN YOU OPEN THE BATCHELOR'S, RIGHT
and you're expecting good stodgy mushy peas, like mashed potato but green, almost. But what do you get???
Pea discs in green water!!
I have opened several tins only to discover this disappointing gloop.
Why is there not consistency in the consistency of mushy peas.
If it happens again I'll be emailing Batchelor's about it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:20, Reply)

I've come to mushy peas late in life
and fucking love them. I always forget to buy them from the chippy though because I've spent some many years not having tried them
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:27, Reply)

Snap
Totally snap.
I have them on pasta, because it makes the weight fall off you.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:28, Reply)

They are peas that have been mushed

they are gross, but those who like them love them.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:14, Reply)

You sir, are a buffoon.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:17, Reply)

Well you are a cad and a scoundral
perpetuating your elixier of "mushed" peas, a pox on you!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:18, Reply)

Gaz me your address
I have 4 cans in my pantry.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:17, Reply)

Gaz me your address
I have 4 cans in my pantry.

I have full testicales

EDIT: Just realised who you are... full testicles an empty vagina
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:19, Reply)

Yes

( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:21, Reply)

If you mailed them to me
you might get arrested by homeland security for sending weapons of mass destruction. (Thanks for the offer though).
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:26, Reply)

Yes, weapons of mass destruction
This means massive farts
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:30, Reply)

They have Bicarbonate of Soda added.
A Northern delicacy.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:20, Reply)

and loads of salt and sugar.
They are peasant food.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:23, Reply)

I buy mine from Iceland.
The shop, not the country. And think about Kerry Katona whilst purchasing.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:26, Reply)

i dont know whats more disgusting
mushy peas, or Kerry Katona
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 13:45, Reply)

Glad your car was ok, and glad you were safe.
I've been a bit worried about everyone on the East Coast and in the UK the last few days. My brother broke his leg and collarbone yesterday after slipping on black ice.

I last got free food tonight. We had a huge turkey fry at the lake this last weekend and I got a whole turkey that was leftover. It was nommy.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:56, Reply)

deep fried turkey is just plain fucking weird

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:59, Reply)

I saw it on Stephen Fry in America
It actually looked pretty darn tasty.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:00, Reply)

It's all of the win
Comes out juicer and tastier than oven roasted turkey.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:04, Reply)

that's because you have completely submerged it in oil
do your arteries not clang shut at the thought?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:05, Reply)

I have had two and they were both horrible.
The first one was over full of some spice injected into the turkey before cooking (and no it wasn't an injection of man juice). You couldn't even eat it.

The second one I had was cooked by my brother in law and he was so worried about under cooking it, a 23 pound turkey ended up a blackened charred pice of crap weighing about 10 pounds. There was one tiny little piece of unburnt meat inthe center that we all fought for.

If you cook a turkey correctly in the oven it isn't dry.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:19, Reply)

too true
it's not that hard to cook a turkey right in the oven
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:24, Reply)

I also saw that they melted fucking marshmellows onto sweet potato or something
as a side dish for the deep fried turkey.

I find that quite disgusting.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:06, Reply)

marsh mallows are wrong
the misses ahs just got hold of a jar of mallow paste full of sugar and E numbers, I've had to hide it, if she gets in there I'll be peeling her off the ceiling.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:08, Reply)

Yams.
Yes, over here, they melt marshmallows on top of yams and it is WRONG and disgusting.
As for your comment above........who cares? It's turkey nomness, however it's cooked. Mmmmm, tryptofan (or however it's spelt)
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:10, Reply)

TWO MILES?????
I'd have just lay down and died, to be perfectly honest.
Actually, no, if there was that Blitz spirit going on, I'd have instigated a sing-song and some fumbling.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:57, Reply)

I would have started LOOTING

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:58, Reply)

Aherm
fumbling Fingering
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:59, Reply)

Same difference to me...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:08, Reply)

Is your vagina in an awkward place to find?
Of course it is, it's in Liverpool.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:11, Reply)

What's awkward to find about it?
It's the end of the line on the train, it;s the end of the M62 motorway.
You cannot fail to stop there. If you carried on you'd end up in the river Mersey.
(I am talking about my vagina AND Liverpool)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:16, Reply)

Let's find a shelter,
make a war, and then we can get fumbled all we like!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:11, Reply)

I'd love a good war
A proper one with nylons and dancing.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:17, Reply)

Me and the Mrs snuck off into the bushes at one point
and we came back and we're all happy and smiling and an old lady tutted but then had a sly smile as she looked away. I gave her some chips.

And then fucked her up the arse.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 11:59, Reply)

...with a saveloy...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:01, Reply)

Saveloy and bum gravy, the nations favourite.

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:03, Reply)

Ok, saveloy talk has got me
homesick! *books flight to England*
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:05, Reply)

This you will not believe.
I have a 21-year old girl working for me who until a couple of years ago was convinced saveloys were made from FISH.

Her logic: they're pink and you get them from the fish shop....eh?

1. name a pink fish commonly sold in fish & chip shops
2. pies are sold in fish shops so they must also be fish, right?

I asked it she'd ever actually eaten one and she said yes, loads of times.

Just how thick can someone be?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:19, Reply)

Red mullet, Salmon

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:22, Reply)

I've never seen salmon or mullet in a fish and chip shop.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:24, Reply)

what are saveloy made of?
I'm sure I heard it was brains somewhere....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:26, Reply)

It's just a certain type of seasoned pork
though according to wikipedia it was once made form pig brains.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:27, Reply)

I wish Jimmy Wales
would fuck off with his begging for money. If you want to run wikipedia, work out a fucking business model, if you don't, don't fucking run it, but why would anyone pay for inaccurate information that you can't rely on?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:29, Reply)

he's a cunt

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:36, Reply)

this in spades
he blocked our IP for (correctly) editing spaniards to catalans, and still has the cheek to ask for money
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 13:55, Reply)

You've never been to a fish and chip shop in australia then.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:26, Reply)

Shark Shack
Nepean Highway, Rye, Victoria.

Best chippy in the world.......EVER!!!
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:39, Reply)

How right you are
If I had the money it costs to go to Australia, to go on holiday with, never in a million years would I choose to go to Australia.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 13:05, Reply)

Very

( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:22, Reply)

I have never been given free food
because everyone who works in the service industry hates me with a passion
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:01, Reply)

It's not just the service industry mate.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:02, Reply)

Yep, tailors, adult entertainers

blacksmiths and orthopedic surgeons are all on the list
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:06, Reply)

so are engineers
;-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:06, Reply)

and Pig inseminators

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:07, Reply)

My mum doesn't mind you
as long as you don't talk.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:08, Reply)

Oh go and roll around in your money
you Captain Hook wannabee
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:21, Reply)

Ha!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:25, Reply)

At our Christmas-themed park thing
a german gave me some mulled wine for half price. I think he could tell I was descended from the Fatherland.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:03, Reply)

Was it your moustache?
Or you lack of a sense of humour?
Or your dislike of the Belgiums?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:04, Reply)

had you asked for directions to Poland first?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:05, Reply)

It was my cold dead eyes
And protruding clitoris
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:07, Reply)

Did you hang a coat on it?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:08, Reply)

No
I balanced my schnitzel on it
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:10, Reply)

Pork or Chicken?
Or Veal if you're feeling posh.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:12, Reply)

Mmmm
Christmas is the time I eat the most meat.
Never had veal.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:13, Reply)

Rose veal is noms

Delicate and juicy
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:15, Reply)

schnitzels are fucking awesome
particularly with poached egg, anchovies and capers

*salivates*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:31, Reply)

Never had em like that...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:37, Reply)

Chicken Shnitzel with Fried Egg
Otherwise known as 'Mother & Baby'
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:40, Reply)

Like a small penis?

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:11, Reply)

Exactly like that

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:13, Reply)

I was just given a free home baked cookie

it was brill, in other news I drove about lots yesterday eveing because I'm not a little girl driver
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:03, Reply)

How much snow did you all get?
From the way people are talking about abandoning cars and the spirit of the blitz, I would assume you got about three feet of snow and then the temps dropped to 20 below?????

(I know we are used to it where I live and have huge snow plows etc to clean the roads).
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:15, Reply)

1 inch in london I reckon

However it very quickly compacted into a lethal surface that was more slippery than an otter's pocket
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:17, Reply)

where my office is (N Finchley)
is was more like 3".

Where I live in the East End it was indeed about 1"
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:20, Reply)

Hahahahahahahahahah!
Erm, it snowed a little and the country came to a standstill. It would be a bit like having snow in Southern California. But with less gangsters.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:19, Reply)

But more chavs

(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:20, Reply)

I laugh at people here who
wear Burberry. It's considered high class, and I see "Chav" written all over them, even though they're not.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:24, Reply)

Like you said, you have snow ploughs to keep the roads clear
Sadly the snow fell exactly as rush hour started so everyone was driving and then crashing, and we only have about 3 snow ploughs in the whole of England (Scotland has it's own one, but it's always pissed) so things got a bit slippery.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:19, Reply)

Did you know that the Scottish have their own language?

It's English mixed with Alcohol!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:21, Reply)

I think you'll find it's more like
Ignorance mixed with small mindedness.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:22, Reply)

Geologists have the same language.

(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:22, Reply)

Alcohol
not small mindedness.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Sounds like fun
They generally don't even get out the snow plows for an inch of snow but we all also have snow tires which I imagine are pretty rare in London.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:22, Reply)

Non existant
we are lucky if it snows for four or five days a year, so you would be foolish to buy snow tyres.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:26, Reply)

Some time ago I was given a car full of crisps
I had done an emergency service on a crisp fryer in Peterlee on a Saturday, And the gratefull workers filled my car with boxes of crisps. Boot, backseats and passenger seat.

I was dead chuffed, but gave most of them away.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:20, Reply)

Spirit of the Blitz.
Cool, were there amputations in subway stations, and that ARP guy from Dad's Army running about?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Twas indeed not a good night.
Took me 8 hours to go less than 40 miles home from work :(

2 of which were waiting for my car to be extracted from a ditch after being driven into by a van, going sideways.

:(
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:00, Reply)