9 - I reckon
+2 For Cunnilingus being more a hobby than a duty
-1 Slight Beer Belly
+2 Cooking (game pie being my most recent thing)
-1 Untidy
+1 Liking marmite (makes me awesome)
-1 Girly hair
+3 Fucking awesome amount of general knowledge (i.e. shite)
-0.5 Never being able to have nice photos taken of me
-2 Lazy as hell
+1 Friendly
-1 Mug
+1.5 Good at chess

Well, this passed some time.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 13:47, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I share your cunnilingus hobby
you've got to take pride in your work
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Definitely

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 13:59, Reply)

"-0.5 Never being able to have nice photos taken of me"= "ugly"

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 13:50, Reply)

"I always look awful in photos"
that's because you look awful
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 13:51, Reply)

"The camera adds 10 pounds"=
"the chips add the other 190"
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 13:53, Reply)

one of the few genuinely funny moments in Friends
old video of fat Monica is playing
people are mocking her
Monica "shut up! the camera adds 10 pounds!"
Chandler "how many were on you?"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 13:54, Reply)

There's plenty of funny moments from friends.
They're just not funny the 17th time you've seen them.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 13:56, Reply)

I don't understand why certain programs get repeated so much
Friends is obviously the main culprit, but not far behind is the Fresh Prince, which until a couple of years ago had been on seemingly non-stop for 20 years
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 13:58, Reply)

thats why my momma got scared

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 13:58, Reply)

I reckon they negotiate a flat fee for showing any episodes any number of times
So they just go around and around and around.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:05, Reply)

That is true
I am fookin ugly, although my comment was mainly aimed at the fact I am incapable of smiling without looking a tit.

Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Exhibit C

See what I mean?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 13:57, Reply)

that is quite the stare in Exhibit A
I have this habit of being caught mid-laugh so I look like Leonidas shouting "Sparta"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 13:59, Reply)

it's because people shy away from cameras and instead of just opening their eyes and smiling
they dodge and duck and pull faces like a mong...even an ugly person can have a lovely photo of themselves, I'm proof. Ha.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 13:59, Reply)

I tried the 'looking into the camera and smiling' trick once
didn't work. I'm not ugly, but I'm really unphotogenic. I have a thousand yard stare
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:04, Reply)

try it more often, soften your features, relax a bit

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Thanks
I went on a cull of my facebook photos just now, to see if I could find a good photo. But the only nice one is where I had unwisely streaked my hair green for a gig
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:25, Reply)

don't look at the camera until the last fraction of a second
relax your face, then just before the photo is taken look up and smile
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:10, Reply)

BGB ^ HAVE YOU SEEN DIS SHEEIT RAHT HERE?
It's hawt.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 13:52, Reply)

I don't trust men who say they like cunnilingus.

( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 13:55, Reply)

You just molest them in an underground pub?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 13:58, Reply)

i'm not that arsed about it.
but it was something in the phrasing I thought deserved 'props'.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 13:58, Reply)

why not?
it's not the act itself, rather the ability to give someone a load of pleasure. what's not to like?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:00, Reply)

It's what you called it.
I mean, it would be much better, to be in a crowded up with a load of mates, telling off jokes, and when you and a couple of others are outside having a fag, you tell off another joke about it, all while looking at her, then move in to whisper her ear while she's still smiling from the last joke "I could go down on you for an hour, or soo, or watch the day fade away.", then pull your face away from here ear, give another wink, and then continue telling jokes outside while smoking.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Oh god, I'm actually, genuinly, creepy.
/ac
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Honestly, it used to bore me to tears
And sometimes I'd wake up with a sore neck.
Or maybe I was just crap at it.
EDIT, I mean wake up the day after, I never fell asleep going down on anyone.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:06, Reply)

Haha, how bad would it be to do that?
Then again, I suppose snoring would make your head vibrate a bit...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:09, Reply)

...and she'll never know a thinnnnggg...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:10, Reply)

She might catch on when you bung on Can't Cook Won't Cook, and ask her to possition herself so you can see it.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:18, Reply)

My mate used to watch Matlock while he was 'with' his lady

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:21, Reply)

What a lathario !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Turns out he was gay

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:31, Reply)

If he found out just after his relations with her, that would be double-gutted.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:39, Reply)

He did

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:40, Reply)

Ouch
that is never good. However often you reassure them, a part of them will always believe that they turned you gay
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:46, Reply)

^This
I much preferred scissoring.
( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:11, Reply)

I preferred fingering
And 'imagining it was a bloke' towards the end...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:18, Reply)

Haha!
You really were a crap lesbian.
( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:23, Reply)

I was
No wonder she left me for a big fat emo
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:26, Reply)

Fair enough
Can't help but love 69ing though!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:20, Reply)

you're obviously selfish
;-)

it can suck when it goes on a long time and you end up with an aching jaw and tongue, but you just need to be good at it, and then that doesn't happen often
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:12, Reply)

I'm not selfish! I was just a crap lesbian.
I get better results and less tiredness doing it to men.
Haha you said 'suck'.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:16, Reply)

it does help
if you prefer girls :)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Haha I thought I did!
But I was just scared of boys.
Now I'm scared of lesbians.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:30, Reply)

^This
Although I managed to get through two lesbian relationships before I realised it.
( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Aw man...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:38, Reply)

It was fun
while it lasted I'm sure
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Both of mine were fun at the beginning
then rapidly turned all 'mental lesbian'.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:45, Reply)

mental lesbians
are scarier than anything. All the pissed off rage of a girl, plus often extreme vegetarianism and pacifist tendancies
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:48, Reply)

hahaha
and self-harming. Bless.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:49, Reply)

If you find a Conservative lesbian though
best thing ever
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Oh realleh..?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:57, Reply)

Yes
they're usually hot, they're out and all the things one typically associates with lesbians- vegetarian, pacifist, man-hating etc, is nullified in them by the fact that they're Conservative
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 15:04, Reply)

I think you're swapping one set of probs for another there

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 15:06, Reply)

How?!
Oh you mean the Conservative thing?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Well I certainly don't regret them : )

( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:45, Reply)

I guess there are just other things I prefer more.

( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:18, Reply)

It sounds so clinqual to me, calling it that.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:02, Reply)

Twat tongue fucking

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:06, Reply)

but it enabled that joke in one of the Brosnan films
"you always were a cunning linguist James..."
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:13, Reply)