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( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Why is it that no matter what the QOTW is SpankyHanky has several interesting sounding stories of crazy, wacky things that have happened to him or his mates? This guy must lead the worlds most interesting life. I'm calling bullshit on everything he has ever said in his entire life.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 11:38, 124 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

it would be fine if he didn't have a legion of retard fans/other accounts. Telling him how great he is.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 11:39, Reply)

where he was pretending to put a dildo up his ass and someone opened the door on him and accidentally rammed the dildo right up his ass. Bullshit enough in itself but he goes on the say he fell forward, banged his head and knocked himself out and they left him there with a dildo up his ass.
I'm not sorry to say what a load of shit.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 11:42, Reply)

it was still fucking crap
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Who gives a fuck? Is he any worse than the ongoing uses of "your mum", "Cunt", "Prick", etc found in almost every thread? Why do so many people get so bent out of shape? If they don't like him, they can put him on ignore and never have to see him????
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 11:44, Reply)

I want to know what all the cunts are saying.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 11:49, Reply)

( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 11:51, Reply)

See how long it takes for the villagers to come after me with pitchforks.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 11:57, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/slapstick/post620061
rofl.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:01, Reply)

What can I do?
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Involving a tub of vaseline and a lorry battery
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:18, Reply)

I have hopefully calmed things down with a soothing Jimmy Hill pic.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:07, Reply)

I'm going to get a massive version of it on canvas for my dining room above the fireplace.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:05, Reply)

( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:09, Reply)

and became a well-known pundit. Crucially though, he has a very large chin (and a beard in that pic) which enables the use of his visage to indicate that you suspect that someone is lying. From the english playground, referencing a chin or beard signifies that you doubt the veracity of a statement.
from urban dictionary:
14. Chin
An expression of disbelief.
Usually accompanied by rubbing the chin, in imitation of large-chinned british sports personality Jimmy Hill.
A: "I've just spend the night playing drunken strip poker with Scarlett Johanson, Halle Berry and Sheikh Abu Hamza in the playboy mansion"
B: "Mmmmm... Chin. How would Abu Hamza play poker anyway, he's got no hands!"
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:11, Reply)

... and it wouldn't be halal. That was the thing that I noticed.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:15, Reply)

with a famously big and pointy chin. For some reason that has always escaped me, this has something to do with lies.
EDIT: Vipros' explanation is better.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:11, Reply)

fountain of trivia at parties.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:14, Reply)

It is Jimmy Hill who is responsible for current football player's grossly inflated salaries, as he campaigned tirelessly against the 'bus money and a sandwich' wages that were prevalent in the game.
The big chinned cunt.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:14, Reply)

Though I might have learned that from www.somedreamihad.aftereatingcheese/possiblystilton
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:17, Reply)

40-50 million dollar contracts as the best baseball or basket ball players do here?
Also, has the cost of going to a game become ridiculously high in the UK. (It can cost $300-$500 or more to get a really good seat at a Boston Redsox game. Seats in the nosebleed part of the upper bleachers can cost $50 if can actually get one).
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:23, Reply)

but I think some have reached those heights. in real money though, not dollars.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:24, Reply)

But elite players can easily fetch transfer prices in the tens of millions.
Not bad for not having been to school since the age of 12.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:24, Reply)

But anything up to £100,000 a week has been known to be paid for a 'top' player who then breaks something not long after signing for a club, but continues to get paid it anyway for sitting in the treatment room over the next six months.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:27, Reply)

I have an office full of people, and I almost pissed myself.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:27, Reply)

You could hover to see the reference. I did think about going for the double, but didn't.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:42, Reply)

as if his life depended on it.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:16, Reply)

All football players should have to play whilst smoking a pipe, and carrying a large glass of brandy.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:19, Reply)

The fucking bender.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:21, Reply)

In fact, just the George Cole "Flash Harry" complete outfit.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:25, Reply)

a good 50% of it relates to the unwarranted adulation.
He is a lying helmet, though, and a fucking tedious one at that.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 11:56, Reply)

he's fucking funny. (He is no more tedious than much of the rest of comments here).
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 11:57, Reply)

His posts make me feel sick.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:08, Reply)

Why did I do my hair and make up, get dressed, generally make the effort, and THEN have case of the galloping plop plops because of my IBS?
I'd have much preferred NOT to have gone to all that effort if I was gonna be staying off work anyway.
I now have a head like Girls' World (Brunette Edition) but am in my pyjamas and fearing another escape to the Thomas Crapper.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 11:48, Reply)

I don't fancy seeing photos of her bowel-produce
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 11:54, Reply)

I look like Louise effing Brooks. My eyelashes are all mascara'd up, like spiders, the works. Alas, nobody shall see it.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:27, Reply)

all day in work, and bumping into loads of people while shopping.
WHY???
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:30, Reply)

Subtle dishevelment can indicate a high degree of sophistication as is also shown by your often insightful and erudite posts.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:47, Reply)

I think you're mocking me.
And I really looked like a shoplifter yesterday.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:49, Reply)

( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:23, Reply)

(It wasn't mean mocking anyway).
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 17:40, Reply)

My younger brother has the definitive version.
He has to have at least 3 shits just to go out and buy a bottle of milk.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:02, Reply)

It's when it's accompanied by a sore tummy and total exhaustion that it bugs me.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:28, Reply)

and he does a U turn. It's very annoying, but I just feel sorry for him. The number of trains we have missed.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:33, Reply)

*confused face*
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:34, Reply)

demonstrating how IBS can effect people undertaking tasks with little or no stress.
If he has to go somewhere important, he starts shitting the day before.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:37, Reply)

Monty, don't let me down...
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:50, Reply)

and thus have learned other skills
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:55, Reply)

I tried to google it, but it's too much work.
I'm happy with my original comment though.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Pray, name your source, for I know it not.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:07, Reply)

Bladdyblub on purchasing only milk and bog-roll at the supermarket.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:12, Reply)

I thought your recollection of the Mary Whithouse Experience was admirable.
I gave up being sarky years ago, it was stopping me having sex.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:24, Reply)

Hence, I do not know the quotes.
'See you, unfunny student in-joke arsewipe who looks like the equally shit Lightning Seeds frontman? That's you that is.'
Ah. Ahahaha. Ahahahahahahahah.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 14:54, Reply)

Please tell us who you like, so we can become awesomely cultured like wot you are.
Who makes good music?
Who makes you laugh?
What books should we be reading?
What's good on the box?
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Jerry Sadowitz
Keep it Together by Rich Deakin
Dog the Bounty Hunter
£10 please.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Thanks, Beside Jerry Sadowitz, who is great, I will have to research the others.
Cheers.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 15:24, Reply)

If you're serious I can suggest more things, you just have to tell me what you're into...
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 15:32, Reply)

I was genuinly interested, and will certainly be looking up Tractor tonight when I get home.
My younger years were dogged by very restrictive musical exposure. It was rock and roll or the Beatles. So I missed loads of interesting stuff in the 70's and 80's, and am now trying to catch up. Same goes for reading, if it wasn't a text book or a haynes manual, I wasn't interested.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 15:39, Reply)

As revelations go it's hardly the most startling ever.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:02, Reply)

complaining about him. I really don't understand why some people get so rabid about him. It's the fucking internet for fuck's sake!
(Is "fuck's" the proper usage of the "'s". I am sure someone here can pontificate on the correct grammatical form).
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:04, Reply)

Well done. Is it so sad that I'm more bothered by that than by anything SH has ever written?
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:10, Reply)

( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:12, Reply)

GRAMMAR damnit!
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:18, Reply)

100 of which like his stories, 12900 of which want to look into his cunt eyes and call him a cunting lier
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:00, Reply)

The first few stories were amusing enough, but it seemed that he was trying to be Pooflake II in his writing style. The next few stories stretched the bounds of probability, and after that I just stopped reading them: they all have the same formula of "I was doing something mundane and decided to liven it up - sexual stuff - whoops silly me".
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:46, Reply)

but I can't help but like some of them.
May I take this opportunity to let everyone know I watched 'Them' last night and it was jolly good. It was better than 'Strangers' which was also very good. I prefered 'Them'
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 12:55, Reply)

in that he has loads of posts, and even more people who slag him off for having loads of posts.
I kinda like his stories, actually.
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Thanks guys n gals!
Oh, and FTR Legless is a legend. The reason I stuck around reading this questionable use of cyberspace!
( , Fri 22 Jan 2010, 16:59, Reply)
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