I'm getting married in August
and being a Scot, am horrified by the cost of everything wedding related. So, being a cheapskate, decided to bid for a dress on ebay. I bid 2 days ago, and immediately regretted it - not sure why, but went off the dress or something. Well, I just got an alert that someone has outbid me by a pound. yay!

I can now revert to my plan of fashioning a costume out of bin bags and duct tape.

Anyone got any wedding advice? (other than 'don't do it!' I've already popped out a sprog for mrvitc, so am not letting him get away any time soon)
( ascorbate, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 19:27, 58 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Pfft!
You seemed like such a sensible girl.
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 19:41, Reply)

Whereas you seemed like an angry person.
RAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!
(Bazongaloid, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 19:45, Reply)

Show no fear

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 19:47, Reply)

I'm trying to present a calm exterior
but I'm worried she might bite my leg
(Bazongaloid, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 19:50, Reply)

Nah, she'll go straight for the jugular, paralyse you and then work her way downwards

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 19:55, Reply)

As a man I can't possibly understand how she feels about that.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 19:58, Reply)

As a women I really couldn't care less.

( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:09, Reply)

Where's all this undulating hostility coming from? Have I missed something important ONLINE?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:11, Reply)

There is no hostility.
It's Al pretending I don't like him again.
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:13, Reply)

I see.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:15, Reply)

mildly nsfw
oglaf.com/8legs.html
( weaver., Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:01, Reply)

that
is fucking hilarious
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 22:24, Reply)

My wedding advice is
marry someone who enjoys organising a wedding more than you. This has worked out brilliantly for me so far.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 19:44, Reply)

I've never understood why people spend so much money on the actual day either. I'd rather spend it on a big holiday/honeymoon or towards the house/cool fun stuff you wouldn't normally buy
One of my brothers weddings cost a fortune because they had the very best of everything - Ralph Lauren suits for the guys, Prada for the bridesmaids, 5 or 6 courses of food and 100 guests, photographer, plus wedding planner and rental of the top floor of a city club - discounted because he worked there. They just finished paying it off about 4 years ago...married in 2001.

My other brother got married and did it as cheap as possible, avoided having a photographer and had disposable cameras on every table instead, no kids invited, close friends and family only, wedding party wore hired stuff and it was a buffet instead of a sit down meal. Cost them £2000 all in.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 19:54, Reply)

we're spending lots of money on the honeymoon
but I'm currently in heated negotiations with the mrs regarding making savings on the wedding to pay for it.

I want to invite more people but one the church isn't big enough to take all the people we've already got on the list and two they all cost more money. So I will have to invite lots of extra people along to the evening instead.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 19:57, Reply)

I think you should get married at Stonehenge with RJD and the rest of Sabbath perched atop the stones flailing out the wedding march
That'd be worth seeing you blub for.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:09, Reply)

This is win,
especially if there is hair. And flames. (But not hair in flames.)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:35, Reply)

heated negotiations begging
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:12, Reply)

Run away to Vegas.
Wedding and honeymoon in one. Got married the first time there, it was fun!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 19:57, Reply)

^THIS
The British obsession with having the "perfect" massively expensive wedding with a fuckton of people you don't even like is perverse. Spend the money on just the two of you travelling somewhere and getting hitched. You could do it high on ayahuasca in the Brazilian jungle, in a ceremony led by a rockstar in California or indeed have the ultimate trash wedding in Vegas, presided over by an Elvis lookalike.

In the end it's just a legal contract.
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:34, Reply)

People criticising people who spend money
gets me even more annoyed than people spending money. Just because you don't get invited, don't get your knickers in a twist. And as a man you couldn't possibly understand how this feels.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:41, Reply)

no no no
I'd just rather spend the money in a different way. I was being deliberately provocative in my capacity as an embittered single with a heart of infinite blackness.

As a woman's man, you can't possibly know how this feels!
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:44, Reply)

I'd never condescend to criticise someone who decided to spend a lot of money on their wedding day. It's their money to do with what they like
I'd just bitch about them behind their back and make snide remarks as to how horrible the grooms' mothers hat is ,)

Seriously, I don't care how much people spend on their weddings, so long as it doesn't put them into such financial misery that they spend the next two years complaining that they're skint because they wanted a massive blow out.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 21:19, Reply)

Council Offices
My wee sister got married in the local Registry office. There were 7 people there in total. my sister, her man, mothers, the registrar and witnesses. Cost them roughly £500 all in. The familys then paid for the afterparty. :)
(WeeJen, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:08, Reply)

don't count out charity shops, my cousin found hers in one
her wedding was realllly informal, she told everyone it was an engagement party, barbeque, jeans/tees sort of thing, gathered everyone into a circle to say a blessing before dinner and thats when she came out in her dress and they got married, surprised loads of people.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:08, Reply)

Oh I like the sound of that. Especially the BBQ.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:10, Reply)

That reminds me of when my friend got married.
They'd invited a bunch of people round for a bbq, and her husband surprised her by getting on one knee, proposing, and the local minister who's also part of the group married them.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:15, Reply)

the group?
yo, let me introduce you to my group's minister, he'll marry you up anytime you like. awesome
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 21:12, Reply)

I bought my wedding dress on ebay for £15.
It's fine but I tried on a much nicer £650 one in a bridal shop (gorgeous but I could never justify it for one day's use). Luckily I didn't buy it as I have no idea what shape I'll be in December. Probably bigger norks and a post C-section muffin top.

My top wedding tip is enjoy planning it. We've booked cheap but nice venue, kick ass band, registrar and photographer (cos I am not photogenic) and it was totally stress-free because I find it hard to give a crap about details like napkin colour or matching bridesmaids. Total budget, about 4K (I wanted to elope; Catface didn't. We've compromised on a low key, geeky small wedding).

Oh, and never listen to your mother or mother-in-law about what's 'the done thing'. It will invariably involve bizarre questions like "but surely you'll get someone to do your make-up?" and "why aren't you changing your name?"
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:20, Reply)

OMG, you're not gonna get Catface to change his name are you? It'd be against the laws of the feline kingdom

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:23, Reply)

god, we spent about a week debating it.
I like my name and am opposed to having to take the man's name when I work and publish under my own. He wants us all to have the same name, as a family. He thought about changing his to mine then decided he liked his (even though it's more boring than mine). Then he decided we should choose a new name (I fancied "Danger") but I refuse to become Dr Catface. So we're keeping our names, the kid gets his surname, I have veto power on the kid's first name, and all this is incredibly boring, sorry.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:33, Reply)

That's so sweet!
I do like the idea of a double barrelled name for you so you sound like a firm of accountants.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:42, Reply)

or, worse still, some kind of advertising consultancy.
yeah, double-barrelled is well out.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:51, Reply)

I'm trying to convince some of my friends to double-barrel
so they will be called the Harrison-Forders

so far they are proving to be strangely resistant to the idea
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:55, Reply)

That
would be awesome

Indiana Harrison-Forder
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 21:07, Reply)

All this is fuelling my cynicism about weddings and relationships in general
getting married scares the crap out of me
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:43, Reply)

hmmm,
that does suggest the problem doesn't lie with weddings or relationships in general.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:53, Reply)

no
but it's nothing I want to think about either.
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 21:05, Reply)

I have a fear of being the centre of attention which has turned me against the idea of getting wed.
That and not being asked.
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 21:13, Reply)

It's something like that

(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 21:32, Reply)

I like my name and am opposed to having to take the man's name when I work and publish under my own.
^this
( ascorbate, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:46, Reply)

Yes dear
now go and mind the baby there's a good woman. Make me a cup of tea while you're at it.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 21:05, Reply)

Keep vetoing the kid's first name
until "danger" is the only word left in the dictionary
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:48, Reply)

What to?
Dogface?
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:24, Reply)

also,
check out offbeatbride.com for non-traditional ideas, although they sometimes go to ridiculous extremes as well.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:27, Reply)

well
I wanted to elope, mrvitc didn't, we then planned small registry office do, and parents went mental because we hadn't invited the whole fucking extended family, so now we're having a reasonable sized do in his country (my parents are still whinging aboot this). I really couldn't give a crap about colour scheme, napkins, well, any of it really.
oh, and I'm being poncetastic and am going to double barrel my name. don't want to effectively lose my publishing history by taking on a whole new name.
( ascorbate, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:44, Reply)

I told my da I wasn't inviting any of his family.
He said, "fair enough, I don't like them either."
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 21:01, Reply)

Man, I've totally failed to get to the pub tonight again
On my own in the house since Saturday. BZZZ. BZZZZZ. I'm not sure if I believe in the outside world.
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 20:55, Reply)

I guess we were lucky
My folks didn't give a shit and Mr Bin is one of four, the other three all having been married and divorced at least once.

So we decided to get married in Prague.
We got married in the Old Town Hall, the one with the big clock if you've been. We invited anyone who wanted to come, figuring that if anyone really wanted to come then they would be willing to travel.

It ended up with my folks, his folks and his brother and partner.

I bought my dress from Monsoon for £150. His suit cost about the same form Racing Green.

After we went out for dinner at a local restaurant.

In all, flights and accommodation included, it cost us about £1000.

I cannot see the point in spending thousands of pounds. If you really want to marry someone you would do it anywhere, wearing anything.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 27 Jan 2010, 21:44, Reply)

*cricket applause*
awesome
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 21:58, Reply)

But the point is
that I want my friends to celebrate with us and enjoy our happiness and I want to feed them some nice food and give them a drink and get then dancing to some cracking music.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 22:06, Reply)

YES!
This is the correct attitude. Everyone is wrong and can just fuck off.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 22:23, Reply)

Dexys innit
And gropes in the corner between bridesmaids and me.
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 22:51, Reply)

Myself and two sisters are forty plus years old and none of us have ever been married.
My mum has been married three times.

Make of that what you will.
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 21:55, Reply)

I made my own wedding dress
it was a little concerning as I realised I hadn't really made a dress from a pattern before, but it worked out OK

The marriage, however, not so much
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Jan 2010, 22:09, Reply)

When we got married
We made the invitations, table decorations, wedding favours and all that jazz ourselves. Was quite good to do as they were exactly what we wanted and cost nowt to sort out.

Also the wedding was a small one with a big evening party with buffet. We got married, had the wedding breakfast and the evening do all in the same room at a local hotel - worked out lovely!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 10:44, Reply)

I too am getting married in August.
Woo! Anyway, tips: if you're inviting people to a meal, don't bother giving them canapes. Prosecco instead of Champers - or indeed Pimms instead of either. No children between 6 months and 18 years (apart from your own). If you're having bridesmaids dresses, don't get them special ones they'll never be able to wear again - go to Monsoon/Coast/Oasis etc - buying the dress for them takes care of what you're going to give them as the traditional present.
Comfy shoes.
Photographers are insanely expensive - keep shopping around. See if there's anyone in the family who can do them. Make your own cake, or get another relative to.
Screw matching napkins/chair covers/menus etc - no-one is ever going to remember that shit, so don't bother spending money on it.
Most importantly, if you're paying for the wedding all yourself, then you get to decide exactly who gets invited: this could cause huge family rows, but it could also mean that you don't bother inviting Great-Aunty-Nora, but a really good friend instead.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 12:30, Reply)

Agree: Don't take any money from family and do all of the planning yourself.
This might initially piss off the mothers but this way you can make sure it's what you want instead of what the bride's or groom's mother wants. Just give them a bottle of cheap booze to drown their sorrows in. I hear these horror stores about in-laws trying to control weddings trying to make they fairy tale picture book that they never experienced.

We did everything ourselves. Cost us only about $1000 (including food, a venue, and a little free booze. (Of course that was 20 years ago so the same thing might cost $2000 now). People have told us it was one of the nicest and most relaxing weddings they have ever been to.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Thu 28 Jan 2010, 13:06, Reply)