Alright fucknuggets?
How're you? Today there's patches of blue sky and the sun is shining and I feel fantastic, if slightly hung-over. Tell me something that'll ruin my day.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 9:37, 71 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You'll never ever see me naked.

( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 9:38, Reply)

That'd sincerely ruin my day if I believed you for a second.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 9:41, Reply)

It was worth a try.
I'm crap at lying.
( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 9:46, Reply)

you will however see me with
full morning glory
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:01, Reply)

If you died life would go on as if you had never existed

except for a few lonely individulas who would mourn you, but even they would forget you eventually and your memory will fade like mist on the breeze.


Also you smell of cabbage
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Meh.
I came to terms with my insignificance a long time ago, and the doctor said the smell'll go if I keep applying the cream.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 9:46, Reply)

You'll never be forgotton when you have a kid who will then go on to have kids etc.

( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 9:49, Reply)

It better liven up on here soon.
I raced through all my work this morning so I could play.
( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Piers Morgan, Jan Moir & Richard Littlejohn

All have the ability to reproduce.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Is it on YouPorn?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:03, Reply)

If it is, I'm going to crank over it right now.

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Hopefully not with each other.

( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:04, Reply)

God forbid.
god Deity of your choice
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:08, Reply)

No matter how hard you work at anything
Peter Andre will always be richer and more successful with women than you
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:08, Reply)

LIES!

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:08, Reply)

I had to pay...
Peter Andre £10,000 today for work.

It made me sad.

Trufax
(R0SS, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:10, Reply)

You're winning so far.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Sorry
But if I have to bear the burden of transferring that tosser a five figure sum just to turn up somewhere and generally ponce about then everyone else has to as well.
(R0SS, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:17, Reply)

I am by no beans taking any responsibility for your behaviour
and you need to look very deeply at yourself and consider if you ever want to be in the position where you line that cretin's pockets again. Edit: Haha beans, my fat thumbs.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I don't make the decisions
I just handle the money.

Although I do feel a little dirty.

It was fucking N-Dubz in Dec.

That's what happens when you cater to the lowest common denominator...
(R0SS, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Peter Andre is playing in my town. Maybe today actually.....
I'm a little sad I'm not going
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I'm going to pretend you typed;
"I had to beat Peter Andre to death with a spade today for work...it made me euphoricly happy"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Thank you
That thought will get me through the day.



*whistles a happy tune*
(R0SS, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Cheered me up as well
it's the thought of that spade spanging of the back of his head...spang-spang-SPANG!!!
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:22, Reply)

You are only supposed to make Noel miserable
You have succeeded in making us all unhappy now.

Bastard.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Speak for yourself.
I quite like The Andre when he's not singing.
( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:28, Reply)

?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Yeah ????
Are you mental, or are you not expecting Monty to come and give you 10 reasons why you are wrong?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:35, Reply)

I think she meant "I like The Andre when he's not breathing"

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:38, Reply)

That's acceptable
Encasing his head in concrete would see to this
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Didn't mean it.
I was hoping it would flush Monty out. I miss him.
( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Me too
He is my style guru
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:48, Reply)

He's like the brother I never had.
......or wanted.
( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Which one of your brothers have you had?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I only had one brother and he died when he was about four.

( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Joke Fail
*Hangs head*
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Haha!
I knew that would kill the thread.
( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:56, Reply)

*gently removes Bart's foot from his mouth*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Dead siblings are always a tricky issue
I don't give a second thought to my other dead rellies, but my elder brother, always makes me sad.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:58, Reply)

In all honesty I would have liked a brother.
My Sindy dolls would have been a lot safer.
( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Not necessarily
We left a carving knife sticking out of my sister's teddy's back.

Lying there on the dining table in a pool of ketchup.

She cried.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:03, Reply)

That's the kind of thing my sisters did.

( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:04, Reply)

I really am sorry
Although I do know somewhere that he will be appearing with no security, a number of good escape routes and am willing to provide an alibi for anyone who may be of interest in such information.

I'll also take requests for any further bookings.
(R0SS, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:31, Reply)

I'm happy now
Cheers
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:33, Reply)

The more I see him in the press, the more I don't think he's such a bad chap.
And I've always thought that Jordan is a vindictive spiteful bitch who is just as ugly on the inside as she is on the outside. She's using her kids as pawns in a game, throwing them into the media spotlight dispite saying she'd never do that.

She's fucking scum, she's not a prostitute, she's a whore,
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I'm with you on the Jordan issue
I just don't believe that there is any need from either party for the public nature of the airing of the dysfunction of their relationship.

Also I haven't forgiven him for 'Mysterious Girl'.
(R0SS, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Last night, I went out for ribs with four people I love to be with.
The food was MASSIVE and Wookiee was nearly killed in its consumption.
( thealternativefact, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Oh man, ribs.
We only had ribs on Thursday and I already want more.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Some violent Playboy model has walked free
despite ramming Paul 'na na na na nineteen' Hardcastle's daughter's head down a toilet in a Brighton nightclub.
Broken Britain indeed...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:48, Reply)

It's ok if she's got cracking tits.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Is that what the judge said?

( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:51, Reply)

And the jury, and the executioner.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:54, Reply)

She's a beast and so's Hardcastle's daughter

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Mornin'

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Mornin!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:05, Reply)

That's the end of that conversation
Are you going to go on about bumming Today?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:09, Reply)

No
I just gave BGB a quick bumming tease but that's me done. For now.

See below for why I'm being brief.

:)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:10, Reply)

My stars today said I have to stop dithering, grab the bull by the horns and get on with it.
What is it that I have to get on with? Anybody know?
( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Bumming more bulls

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I was hoping bumming was in there somewhere.
The planets must be favouring me.
( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:07, Reply)

People talk about bumming way too much on this site!
I'm beginning to wonder about some of you.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:50, Reply)

This'll ruin your day Noel...
My morning OTing on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays will be severely restricted for the foreseeable future.
Monday all day, Tues, Weds and Thurs PM, and all day Friday are business as usual.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Why?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I'm on the 'deli counter' on those mornings

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Well that's
what you get for being a bummer
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:13, Reply)

God is swift and sure

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:53, Reply)

All the best mongs are buggering off.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 11:45, Reply)

It's only three mornings!
I'll be living here as usual for the rest of the week!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:12, Reply)

This will really RUIN your day
I'm sending you a picture of me naked.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Woohoo!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:22, Reply)

No, I can't do that, not even to you.
There is a limit to how cruel I will be.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:40, Reply)