Shut up, it's my birthday, listen to meeeeeeeeeeeemememememememe
I'd like to know about your perfect birthday cake.

Mine would be huge, I don't really care about the outside cause I want Alexander Skarsgård and Katherine Moennig to jump out of it and sing happy birthday to me, while they're naked, and give me lots of hugs and kisses.

Tell me about yours. Youyouyouyouyou.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:17, 83 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My perfect birthday cake would have a meat filling
essentially it'd be a pie with chocolate icing

EDIT and happy birthday!
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:18, Reply)

that sounds terrible
whatever floats your boat!
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Whatever bobs your log

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:26, Reply)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
cock cake!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:19, Reply)

you'd like a cock cake?
I've got a boobies cake pan...well...my housemate does...
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:26, Reply)

I think I've just got cock on the brain

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:33, Reply)

When Blowjobs Go Wrong.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:58, Reply)

Huh puh buh duh!
XXX
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:20, Reply)

spank yooooouuuuuuu

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Happy Birthday Ms Kristine!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:31, Reply)

thank yooooouuuuuu *dances*

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:23, Reply)

My mum once made me a cake like this:

www.cake-decorating-corner.com/images/pirate-ship-cake-45544.jpg

But it was better as it had jelly for the sea.

She also made my sister something like this:

www.michellesugarart.co.uk/img/c_port/large/fairy_castle_cake.jpg

But without the creepy doll
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:21, Reply)

holy shit balls
those are fab cakes

since I know I'll never get my perfect cake I'd quite like this one, based on Alice in Wonderland.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:24, Reply)

That's ace!
Yeah mum used to love making extravagant cakes, she hasn't done for years though.

Now she is making my wedding cake, I hope it's a pirate ship again!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:27, Reply)

haha that's brill

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:29, Reply)

Originally i wanted two wheels of cheese with a pork pie on top, but apparently that isn't the done thing.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:30, Reply)

It would be homemade by my boyfriend, who would be a cook and love fat women.

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Lonely, much?

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Not since I opened up the cellar.

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:26, Reply)

who did you have down there?
Please tell me it was Berk and Bony
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:31, Reply)

?

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:34, Reply)

Don't you open that Trapdoor!
'cause there's something down there!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Ah!

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:37, Reply)

Ooh!

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:14, Reply)

It's like that scene in The Road.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:37, Reply)

You want to go out with a feeder?

You may want to move to the Southern states of the USA
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:24, Reply)

they don't love fat people there either
*proof*
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:25, Reply)

No, it's just the people that you have met

haven't been right, there only needs to be one for you you just need a nice slice of luck :)
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:29, Reply)

/does not mention recent plethora of dates despite being a lardy munter
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:34, Reply)

Mine would be a Mr Kipling mini bakewell tart
Resting delicately on the mons of a naked Mila Kunis.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:30, Reply)

How about a mini battenburg

poking out of her quim?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:31, Reply)

I could go with that
I'm rather partial to marzipan.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:34, Reply)

Watch out for
Battenburg seepage though.


©weebl and bob
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:35, Reply)

mmm... seepage

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:37, Reply)

Watch it! Psychochomp will pop up and complain of the smell.

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Pop up?
Out of Ms Kunis' vag? Like some sort of hideous reincarnation of Pop-up Pirate?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:14, Reply)

Congrats.
I've no idea who these people are who you want to jump out of your cake, but naked people singing HBTY can't be bad.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:31, Reply)

I just googled the girl one
total carpet muncher
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Yeah, me too
Still would though!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:34, Reply)

she's soooooooooooo delicious

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:27, Reply)

Happy Birthday.
I have been giggling at 'Holy Shit Balls' for far too long.

Cake? A big tray of Baklava or a butterscotch Angel Delight.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:38, Reply)

I fucking love Buutterscotch Angel delight

It would form part of my last meal along with Megan Fox
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:41, Reply)

my friend came up with a genius plan
to mix it without a whisk. Just put it in a bottle and shake.

If, however you have a glass bottle, you may find you have butterscotch and glass flavour
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:43, Reply)

I thought glass was tasteless?

A sort of Nuveau riche container material
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:46, Reply)

I hear it tastes quite sharp

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:47, Reply)

Spang
shatter
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:12, Reply)

Happy Birthday
These are my two favourite tracks by The Orb
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWMIXgCaJPQ
www.dailymotion.com/video/x12ut_the-orb-perpetual-dawn
(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:56, Reply)

little fluffy clouds is great
have you heard the blue room?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:01, Reply)

Little fluffy clouds YES
the other one NO
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:04, Reply)

I'm now stuck in a dowward spiral of mid nineties "chill out music"
Sneaker Pimps at the moment...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Take me down
6 underground
(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:28, Reply)

Exactly!
Good times, seems like an age away now...

*waits for Monty to pop up witha quip about better music in the 1870's*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:32, Reply)

He thinks your music is FUCKING SHIT

(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:34, Reply)

The Orb were great for a bit
Nowt wrong with psychedelic dub music, I'd say...

I am happy to advise, however, that Sneaker Pimps were fucking mediocre.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:38, Reply)

You are like some kind of fucking demon

call his name and mention music and HE WILL COME!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:39, Reply)

If you say 'Bowie u Akbar' backwards three times
I appear in a cloud of bong smoke, coughing my guts up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:40, Reply)

I really wish this was true

I could do with livening up the office today
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:43, Reply)

So does 'Akbar' mean 'Cunt'?

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Yes - remember Admiral Cunt from Star Wars?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 17:06, Reply)

Oh, that fish-headed cunt
What a cunt he was
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 17:08, Reply)

thanks
I listened to about 30 seconds of the first one.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:31, Reply)

I just can't do anything right for you can I
I don't know why I keep trying.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:32, Reply)

well I put my hands up, bobbed my head like yeah and moved my hips like yeah
WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Were you wearing stilletos? Did you get the memo?
Were you feeling kind of homesick?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:40, Reply)

well...yes...

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:41, Reply)

What you need is a party

(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:42, Reply)

Alex Patterson's use of 'Rainbow Dome Musick'
in his DJ sets was what started Steve Hillage's forays into dance music and ultimately inspired his return to the guitar with Gong.

True - dull, but true...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:35, Reply)

Happy Birthday
My birthday cake would be an enormous black pudding sandwich. With brown sauce.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:13, Reply)

mmmmm sounds......interesting
spanks for birfday wishes
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:42, Reply)

The happiest of birthdays to you, young lady.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:38, Reply)

spank you!

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:42, Reply)

Okay I wrote you a birthday poem since you didn't like my tunes.

Her name is Kristine and she's a got a nice face
She just moved house to a lesbian place
Right now she's off cock, but it's obviously true
if she wanted some she'd be getting shagged black and blue.
Now it's her birthday we all sing Woo-Hoo
And hope she enjoys a satisfying poo,
with minimal splashback, that's easy to wipe,
if we could we would all watch her do it on SKYPE.
So felicitations and happy returns,
when you finally want some, please don't get carpet burns.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:48, Reply)

*raptuous applause*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:50, Reply)

*rapturous laughing at your spelling*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:52, Reply)

*sends raptors in the post*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:53, Reply)

*doesn't care because you probably spelt my address wrong*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:58, Reply)

17 Grumpy Cunt Lane
Angryville
DV1 BW3
(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Dope rhymes, G.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Word Nate Dog

(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:52, Reply)

holy shit balls this is FABULOUS

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Now read it back
accompanied by the theme from 'The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' playing in your head.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 17:00, Reply)

It was my birthday on Monday
...and I got this cake: NO CAKE AT ALL
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 17:27, Reply)

OHMEGOSH
Happy Birthday!
*bakes cake for you*
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 17:57, Reply)