Morning my Off Topic chums
for some reason this morning the first thought in my head was "I should join eharmony".

What was your first thought this morning? Can you old farts even remember back that far?
Don't care? Tell me how fabulous you smell.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:25, 80 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What thoughts? It's too early and I'm too old for any thoughts.
as to my smell, it all depends on what you like as to whether or not I smell fabulous.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:29, Reply)

aloha my fellow american
do you use cologne? manly bodywash?
go on, tell us what you wear
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:33, Reply)

What I wear?
well, right now I am wearing a pink tedd--- Opps, wrong answer.

Dial Soap, no body wash, no cologne, it's not manly.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:03, Reply)

It was probably "Can I be bothered to go for a jog or shall I have another half an hour in bed"
Amazingly, I went for a jog. I'm not sure who I am any more
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:32, Reply)

My first thought was
"WEEKDAY" *sadface*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:32, Reply)

My brain tricked me this morning
First thought was, "Hey, it's morning. And I don't feel grotty and hungover like I did yesterday. I feel well rested. This is nice..."

Second thought was, "Enjoy it while it lasts. Your alarm's about to go off and it's Tuesday." This was shortly followed by alarm and sadface.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Yes. I woke up before the alarm.
It made me so sad.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:10, Reply)

I've been doing it for a few days now
It's kind of pleasant being in that strange realm between sleep and proper consciousness until I realise it's 6.59 and I just end up guessing the seconds until the radio bellows in my ear.

Not as disconcerting as sleeping right through the alarm and only coming to about three quarters of an hour later, however. I'm glad I've stopped doing that.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:18, Reply)

I never sleep in
But I arrive late all the same
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:22, Reply)

I usually find that breakfast delays me most of all
But I refuse to leave until I've finished my cup of tea, dammit!
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:48, Reply)

I'm not arsed about tea
I sometimes use a milky weak coffee to wake me up a bit. But it's not about liking coffee. It's just habit and all that.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:54, Reply)

I've been drinking tea and coffee regularly for so long that my daily routine - indeed my life - has shifted around them
But my housemate won't go near either of them. Which just makes it kind of embarrassing for him when his sister or his parents visit and he has to knock on my door because he's still not sure how to make them a cup of tea. Bless.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:13, Reply)

I forget to offer people cuppas
I don't think people are thirsty for tea and coffee. I think they just use them as punctuation for the day.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Punctutation? Nonsense!
Now, if you'll excuse me, it's half past 3, it's about time I went and got a cup of tea...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:31, Reply)

WEAKNESS!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:37, Reply)

My first thought was "Ooh, another day off work."
My second thought was "Ah, Tuesday. Terre D'Hermes day!"

Therefore I smell of Terre D'Hermes. To quote "The vegetable and mineral juice, made without animal by-products or musk, sparkles with orange (specifically formulated for Hermès by Albert Vieille) and grapefruit that blends with flint for a mineral note, and combines with pepper, bay rose, geranium, patchouli, benzoin and vetiver around the central note of Atlas cedar to enhance its Earthy tones."

Edit: At a push I could drink it, it's so natural!
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:33, Reply)

that sounds fucking amazing

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:41, Reply)

It is truly gorgeous and quite unlike any other male cologne.
I would also recommend Hermes Bel Ami but it's fucking expensive. Most days I wear either Christian Lacroix Noir, Bennetton Hot and Cold or Blue Jeans.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:45, Reply)

blue jeans? what sort of name is that?
mine is described as "pink peppercorn and addictive florals wrapped in a warm amber heat" called Aromadisiac, it's supposed to seduce others or something but all it does is end up making me horny by the end of the day
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:48, Reply)

Blue Jeans is by Gianni Versace.
Blue Jeans is a fragrance one always goes back to. A classic masculine fragrance with woodsy, citrusy notes with a spicy heart and a warm drydown. Top notes are composed of bergamot, lemon, anise, basil and palisander tree. Geranium, rose, lavender, jasmine, sage, heliotrope and lily are at its heart. The drydown contains the notes of iris, sandalwood, vetiver, musk, patchouli, Tonka bean, vanilla and amber.

And it's cheap as chips now. Cheap enough for wedding favours (the ladies version is red jeans) apparently.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:54, Reply)

OOOOoohh now I know...
a certain b3tan I know wears it
it's fucking lush
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Jesus
You sound like Jilly fucking Goolding, or whatever her name was
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:59, Reply)

HaHa.
I just copied stuff from review sites that describe the perfumes from contents. She was so pretentious though "Hopping great whiffs of cat's wee." That's a wine I won't be buying then.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:09, Reply)

And how did she know so much about the smell of cat's wee anyway?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:23, Reply)

She's old in disguise.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 9 Mar 2010, 16:28, Reply)

Hmm, I'm tempted to give webdating a bash,
not eharmony though, I thought that was full of people wanting to get married LIKE NOW!
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:34, Reply)

I've given up on that completely.
You will probably fair a lot better than I did.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:35, Reply)

The cougars will be all over me.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:36, Reply)

Like a rash.
I think my problem with the Guardian site was that I'm a 44 year old woman with a tattoo and peircings who doesn't live in London and doesn't own a gimp mask.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:47, Reply)

But it's easy to get a gimp mask???

(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:04, Reply)

fair fare
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:39, Reply)

that's a fair point and it does seem that way
I reckon it just seems more of a serious chance rather than match.com or any of the other bullshit sites
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:40, Reply)

Depends what you want I suppose.
Just pretend you're up for marridge RIGHT NOW, and then leave them if they get too serious.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:42, Reply)

Traditionally if you imply that you want to wed inside three months
the recipient does tend to take the relationship seriously
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:46, Reply)

that's probably what would end up happening anyway
I can't even commit to a second date
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:46, Reply)

My first thought was DAMN no morning nookie again.
And then I remembered I look like shit at the moment.

I smell of desperation, allegedly.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:35, Reply)

Don't worry it won't be long.
You'll be smelling of cats and wee.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:46, Reply)

best of all the natural colognes

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:52, Reply)

Given that you've been dropping hints like comedy cartoon anvils...
... surely at least one QOTWer has come sniffing? Or do they all smell like mouldy sausages?
(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:09, Reply)

I smell neutral at the moment
although I forgot to put on deodorant this morning so that'll probably change by 5pm. Good thing my body doesn't seem to know how to sweat and I'm a naturally chilly individual.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:37, Reply)

I smell of citrus

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Fruity-chops.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:46, Reply)

Totally chopical

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:48, Reply)

That was a Lilt advert.
Can you still get Lilt?
*sings in bad Jamaican accent* "Wid de totally tropical taste?"
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:12, Reply)

you can.
It's different though. It goes fluffy in your mouth.
HERE COMES THE LILT MAN!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:14, Reply)

What do you mean by 'fluffy'?
Is it not still served in the traditional liquid format?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:17, Reply)

yeah but it quickly becomes thick spit

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:23, Reply)

With you.
Like Stella?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:25, Reply)

I haven't drunk Stella since November 1997

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:26, Reply)

I quite like citrus in the summer
*dreams of summer*
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:53, Reply)

I always like citrus

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:59, Reply)

good job too
because you are a right lemon
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:02, Reply)

Better than the smell of your plums.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Yeah his plums smell of bin juice

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:16, Reply)

Aw no.
Bin juice is nasty, especially when it dribbles on your shoes.
*looks down anticipating Sid James*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:22, Reply)

nothing is better than the smell of my plums

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:16, Reply)

BIN JUICE

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:23, Reply)

you wish you had smelt my plums

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:36, Reply)

I have
I just went to my bin and INHAAAALED, while touching some dried apricots.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:40, Reply)

that's not what they smell like
you just like smelling the bin.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:42, Reply)

While touching replica plums

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:52, Reply)

My dad was calling me a lemon again this weekend :(
He invented a new word: 'waterlemon', just for me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:15, Reply)

I like heavier, musk type scents for winter.
I have about fifty different perfumes for different moods and seasons.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:06, Reply)

success
also, Hugo Boss Elements

edit: actually that's not true, I didn't put it on this morning.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:45, Reply)

I did smell of Chanel for Men...
...but now it's of a Steak Bake.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:45, Reply)

I probably smell of coffee
and stale spaff. Dangerwank.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:47, Reply)

Armani- Code
smells nice. And my first thought on waking up was 'I can tell I've been drinking'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 13:53, Reply)

I was thinking about you.
I smell like Lynx Fever. Eees niiiiice.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:17, Reply)

Diesel for Men
Unusual, as I only usually wear anti-perspirant.

Perhaps I was pre-empting? Spooky.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:37, Reply)

diesel is for cars, vans and trucks

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Smartarse.
Maybe that's why they were so specific with the name.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:40, Reply)

Haha, you're a truck

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:50, Reply)

I smell weird rice crackers
I was just given one to try... I do not approve. :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Are they like wfarers?
HAHAH
I meant 'wafers' but I'm leaving that there to make me laugh.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:40, Reply)

Hehe you 'nana
They are indeed like wfarers, only more boring when eaten on their own, they taste odd.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:44, Reply)

wfarer you talking about?
Put some gravy on them?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:53, Reply)

WIN
I lol'd
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Hoorah!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:06, Reply)

I read that as...
Can you remember your old farts?

I have a few classics in mind, but apart from that.. Not really.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:05, Reply)

My first thought was...
I really can't be bothered having a wank...
( snee held his breath since, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 16:47, Reply)