Morning All!
Bit of a mental weekend, with a shit load of drinking.

Also, for the first time ever, I managed to turn down the advances of my (hideously drunk) ex. Granted, I don't remember doing it, but it's still something to be proud of anyway!

What have you been proud of recently?

EDIT: Where the fuck is everyone?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 8:49, 76 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've been away for a shit
And I'm quite proud of the result.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:02, Reply)

you posted at ten to 8
it's fairly reasonable that everyone is asleep, particularly as they will all have forgotten to set their clocks
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:03, Reply)

Nope, ten to 9
The clocks still haven't updated on here.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:10, Reply)

so they haven't
in that case, everyone else must have forgotten to change theirs. there is literally no other explanation.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:16, Reply)

I certainly can't think of any other reason
you must be correct.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:24, Reply)

fuck me i'm sore
shifted 6 TONNES of soil (or is it 'TONS'?) and then danced like a drunken fuckwit at my brother's wedding. mind, last day at work, then 7 days off!
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:16, Reply)

It was either six tons or 5.44 tonnes
or six tonnes or 6.61 tons
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:22, Reply)

aren't tons bigger than tonnes?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:25, Reply)

that's the jist of what al said, yes
:)
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:26, Reply)

the way he has written it looks like
6 tons = 5.44 tones
or 6.61 tons = 6 tonnes

which is the other way round
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:29, Reply)

No it doesn't, it looks like
6 tons = 5.44 tonnes
or 6 tonnes = 6.61 tons

Which is exactly what I wrote, but I used my words instead of numbers and equals signs.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:33, Reply)

it amounts to the same thing though, 1 tonne is larger than 1 ton
which is the opposite to what I had previously thought, which was why I was saying it looks like you'd written that
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:35, Reply)

No 1 ton = 0.901 tonnes
so a tonne is slightly more than a ton
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:29, Reply)

well there you go

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:29, Reply)

It depends
on whether you are talking about long tons or short tons though!

1 metric tonne is equal to 1.102 short tons, but only 0.9842 long tons.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:31, Reply)

I like how both long and short tons are exactly 20 hundredweights
but it depends if you are using long or short hundredweights!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:34, Reply)

makes you wonder why we changed to metric
when the old way was much simpler
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:35, Reply)

In the same way
a long hundred of herrings is actually 132 herrings.

Fishermen weren't that good at counting in the old days.

Edit - according to Google, a long hundred is 120. But in my old Collins Gem dictionary, it definitely says 132.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:35, Reply)

I expect a lot of the fisherman came from the west country
and brighton
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:39, Reply)

Apparently
in Roxburghshire, in the Scottish borders, sheep and lambs were sold by the hundred, but this was actually 106 animals.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:42, Reply)

maybe it allowed for a few dieing before they got them home

(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:43, Reply)

I was wondering about that.
Or it may have been a backhander. A hundred for the boss, and keep half a dozen for yerself, mate.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:47, Reply)

I'm at the vets
with a pussy problem.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:17, Reply)

I feel like SHIT.
I went for a drink on Saturday afternoon with my ex, she asked me to meet her and I thought it would be a good idea as I want to start having the little'un on my own.

When I met her she bought me a cognac to go with my pint - three more pints'n'chasers later we went to another pub and ended up going for a really expensive meal - oysters, steaks, bottles of Malbec.

The next thing I know it's 5am and I'm (thank God) curled up on my sofa alone with drug paraphernalia strewn all over the place. No sign of my wallet anywhere (still AWOL) - nor of my TV remote (now found).

From my inbox this morning it seems I have paid £28 in advance for a DVD about Saxon that has not even been made yet. I'm not even all that keen on Saxon.

What the fuck I was doing I have no idea. On the plus side my daughter came back to London on Sunday morning so I got to spend a cracking day with her.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:21, Reply)

Oh Monty!

( girlinthehole, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:22, Reply)

I'm imagining you saying this with a chuckle, a shrug of the shoulders
and then chucking him on the side of the chin while you walk off to make a cup tea, shoulders still shaking with laughter
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Near enough.

( girlinthehole, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:25, Reply)

I think you should start writing your (lack of) memoirs
might prove quite interesting

glad you had a good day with your daughter
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:23, Reply)

I think I shall call it
'Rock'n'Roll and Nose Pollution: my life in the trenches' by Lord Montgomery Boyce.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:28, Reply)

that is a superb title

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Shame about the contents though:
'chapter 9: the time I got hammered and pre-ordered a DVD'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:32, Reply)

£28 is an awful lot for a DVD

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:36, Reply)

They can't afford to finish it
unless a lot of people pre order it
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:40, Reply)

that should tell them that they aren't popular enough to warrant making a DVD

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Maybe a CD Rom free with the Sunday Mail might be a better option

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:49, Reply)

But they should be
as they are damned good.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:49, Reply)

unfortunately things don't work like that
U2 are shit, and they are really popular
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:50, Reply)

Well I've done my bit, anyway.
I'd rather donate to Biff Byford than some bloody starving Africans, any day of the week.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Quite
when have the africans ever come and rocked my tits off?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I'll tell you when: NEVER.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Exactly
when Africa learns to play guitar and writes a song as good as Heavy Metal Thunder, then they can have 18 quid off me.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Until then, they can all fuck off
with their fraudulent emails and massively devalued currencies.

The cunts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Partiularly one that doesn't actually exist yet.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:41, Reply)

They need to money to pay off their debts at
The London Trichology Centre
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Sell it to Al.

( girlinthehole, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:39, Reply)

i for one don't think you're in a suitable state to have custody of a child
i mean SAXON?
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:28, Reply)

don't let Al hear you say that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:30, Reply)

I heard alright
I heard.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Just seen the new Tron film trailer thanks to Porkylips.
I'm now very excited.

Jeff notwithstanding.
( girlinthehole, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:21, Reply)

I've moved house and managed to last an entire weekend without internets

(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:22, Reply)

Me too.
No internets at home for a few weeks and I'm coping quite well but then again I am old and remember life before computers.
( girlinthehole, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:24, Reply)

Stop insulting yourself before I get a chance to.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:25, Reply)

It's my new defence against your attacks on me.

( girlinthehole, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:34, Reply)

i built a robot
out of boxes and tin foil.
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:28, Reply)

A weekend well spent

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:42, Reply)

hell yes

(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:56, Reply)

good work!
i've got one of those in my loft. there are photos on flickr, but it's blocked here, so i can't boast about my robot-making prowess
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:52, Reply)

i'd post pics, but they're only on my phone
and my work PC doesn't like it for some reason.
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:57, Reply)

I bought a flat pack kitchen unit
I built the kitchen unit and then some friends came round and I showed them my new kitchen unit. We talked about kitchens.

So dead inside.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Real men enjoy making flat pack furniture.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Real men whitttle their furniture from solid trees

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:43, Reply)

with their dicks

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:47, Reply)

I go outside and punch the ground until it throws me up a tree
then I punch it until it becomes a wardrobe.

Then I leave my clothes on the floor as wardrobes are for girls.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:50, Reply)

you should start a furniture company

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I'm going to change my name to Kaol and do that

(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:52, Reply)

sensible
you clearly know all about it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:55, Reply)

I just lie down in a field and go to sleep when I'm tired.
Houses are for poofs.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Sleep is for shirters

I simply wash my eyeballs with Irish coffee and plough straight on
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:56, Reply)

I like the cut of your jib, young man.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Less said about my jib the better, it has been the same since

that that night out in Bangkok
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Eyeballs are for gayers
I emit such a zone of terror that everything near me describes itself and it's exact location so I don't walk into it by accident.

Sometimes I walk into things on purpose though, just to fuck it up.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 9:58, Reply)

*enters zone of terror*

I am standing on a platform at the height of your head about to rape you in the ear
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 10:00, Reply)

*faints with all the testosterone flying about*

( girlinthehole, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 10:02, Reply)

*offers tissue for BGBs eyes and hair*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 10:04, Reply)

fanks

( girlinthehole, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Yay
a floordrobe is what you have described there Al...
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 10:28, Reply)