Joke of the day
Yo Mamma's so fat, when they cremated her the resulting ash cloud grounded UK flights for a week

What else has tickled you lately?

And yes, I realise that by the inclusion of the word "else" above I'm assuming that you laughed as hard at that joke as I did
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:11, 74 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

"gro" ? Wozzat then?
Is tickled by typos.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:12, Reply)

BOLLOCKS
Edited :-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:13, Reply)

my favourite fat momma joke is
Your momma's so fat, when she fell downstairs it sounded like Eastenders was finishing
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:14, Reply)

That's awesome
Proper officelol
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:15, Reply)

Yo Mamma's so fat
That when I swerved to avoid her in the road, I ran out of gas.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:17, Reply)

hahaha
officesmirk
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:30, Reply)

yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:18, Reply)

Unlike Cheryl Cole, that volcano in Iceland is still blowing ash

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:19, Reply)

hahaha
i like
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:20, Reply)

If that joke gets into the mainstream
I reckon Ashley Cole is just about horny and dumb enough to think he's missing out, and to go to Iceland (somehow) in an attempt to fuck a volcano

After the World Cup, hopefully.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:22, Reply)

yo momma's so fat she puts her belt on with a boomerang

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:25, Reply)

I've never been able to work a boomerang
I think it's impossible.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Getting them to work is OK, catching the fuckers hurts.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I imagine it would be like a giant paper cut as it slides through your hand

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:34, Reply)

I was recently presented with a boomerang by my Mum
who'd just returned from Australia, so it's authentic and everything. Throwing it is harder than imagined. Getting it to actually come back is easy, but it turns out it doesn't return to your hand like a yo-yo, so you have to run and get it. Bollocks to that.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:32, Reply)

my bro brought me back one from australia
and no matter how you throw it it goes forward for a bit and then shoots vertically into the air.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:33, Reply)

hahaha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:37, Reply)

My parents-in-law brought me one back from Oz.
It was rubbish, so I threw it out.
Guess what?
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:32, Reply)

it isn't impossible
but it is important to have a decent boomerang
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I've tried throwing my dad's authentic one from Aus
but I just can't get the wrist action right (fnar fnar)
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:34, Reply)

yer, this
boys in my neighborhood threw one at me, thinking it'd return, and instead it hit my face and sliced the inside and outside corner of my eye
oh man, it was awesome, blood alllll over my face
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Kristine wins
Our boomerang-related complaints have nowt on this
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:35, Reply)

yer I could've lost my eye
it was some cheap plastic shite the dog had been chewing on
I had a black eye
I screamed bloodyfuckenmurder
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:38, Reply)

not surprised

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:40, Reply)

Did they get grounded?
And did you walk past their house laughing and pointing when you were better and they were still inside?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:40, Reply)

I think they did, I wouldn't talk to them, it was so long ago I hardly remember
but one of them was my bff so I couldn't stay mad forever
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:44, Reply)

I know bff is meant to mean best friend forever
but for some reason I always read it as boy-fucking-friend
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:48, Reply)

on /talk they say big fat friend

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:04, Reply)

Yo mamma is so fat she had to go on a diet.

( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:38, Reply)

I don't think you have quite grasped the concept

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:41, Reply)

Made me laugh though.

( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:47, Reply)

that's what is important

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Yo momma's so fat, her gynaecologist has to be a mountaineer

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:40, Reply)

Speliologist, shurely?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:41, Reply)

I don't know what that is
and can't be bothered to look it up

EXPLAIN
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:47, Reply)

ask Cave Duck.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Yo momma's so fat that when she swims in the ocean
The whales sing We Are Family.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:44, Reply)

and every time she comes back to the beach
Greenpeace try and get her back in the sea again
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:47, Reply)

Hahahah

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Physics fail, but
yo mama's so fat, every time she turns around it's your birthday.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:44, Reply)

I like that
mostly because it's new and interesting
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:47, Reply)

Yep, interesting spin on the girth issue.
Which I blatantly copied below. I have no shame.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:23, Reply)

I lost my favourite chocolate bar
so I hired a Bounty hunter
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:49, Reply)

I have a photo-cartoon illustrating that joke
with Boba Fett
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Bounty - one of my "five a day" fruit portions.
I like the idea of having a moggie, but couldn't cope with a litter tray.
So instead of a real one, I bought a Kit-Kat.
(Cave Duck, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:03, Reply)

Yo mamas so fat she has an above average chance of developing type 2 diabetes
breathing difficulties and heart disease.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Yo Mamma's so fat
I fucked her, rolled over twice, and was still on the bitch!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:14, Reply)

It's the way you tell 'em. Worth a tick.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:25, Reply)

YMSF - she has other fat mammas orbiting her.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:19, Reply)

Classic
Yo mama's so fat I burned my ass on the lightbulb.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:27, Reply)

Your mom goes to college

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:30, Reply)

What is the best way to fuck yo fat momma
Stick your finger in each fold of fat, when you taste shit, go back one.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:31, Reply)

do you taste with your fingers?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:33, Reply)

I forgot to add the 'put in your mouth bit' deliberately,
as I don't like to spoonfeed the B3tans, it makes them lazy.

*coughs*
*looks at shoes*
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:35, Reply)

nice try

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:38, Reply)

I just walked outside to go to the shop
and was hit by a prawn ring, a black forest gateaux and a 50 piece chinese party platter.

It must have been the fallout from Iceland
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Yo mamma so fat
When she goes to the cinema, she sits next to everyone!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:35, Reply)

YMSF
when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:36, Reply)

I'm going to interupt this back slapping and loling
by telling you all that none of these jokes even made me smile.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:36, Reply)

None of them?
You are boring.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:37, Reply)

not even my one with the boomerang?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:38, Reply)

*whispers*
Shhh. She had an eating disorder in her teens, this sort of thing is very traumatic for her.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:40, Reply)

?gnaramoob eht htiw eno ym neve toN

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Not even my ironic one.

( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Lols - have a back-slap.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:42, Reply)

It was one of the better ones

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:49, Reply)

You have no idea how proud that makes me feel.

( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:50, Reply)

I'm with Chompy
(not in a 'civil partnership' way). Mr Crow's was the best of a bad lot.

'Bah', and also 'humbug'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:06, Reply)

Your Crow?
when did this happen? Why were we not invited?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:10, Reply)

No one else saw. Move along please.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:12, Reply)

your momma's so fat
the first time round, neil armstrong planted the flag on her.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:24, Reply)

What's tickled me lately?
Arsenal are the only PL side ever to have been 2-0 up in the 80th minute and still lost the game.

I'm grinning all over again.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 18:59, Reply)

Your mama's so fat
I climbed on and got vertigo

Your mama's so fat, they wouldn't let me climb without a Sherpa.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 19:05, Reply)

An old lady
Threatened to punch me in the balls today. I actually laughed in her face. At work.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 21:22, Reply)