Today I received my first ever parking ticket
so my question to you is, should I:

a) Whine like a little bitch about how this is all about THE MAN trying to keep me down and find some tedious loophole about how the pen the person used wasn't regulation colour and my car was pointing east and everyone knows cars pointing east can't get tickets.

b) Shut up and pay it, knowing that I was parked in a residents permit parking area without a residents permit.

or special option c) Pay it and claim it back on expenses and then invoice the client the cost as I was only parked there because I had to dig holes nearby.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:40, 114 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

pay it bitch.
I have just discovered this:
www.lpsg.org/
and lolled.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:41, Reply)

That is quite a disturbing forum

(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:46, Reply)

and begs the question:
what was she doing when she discovered it?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:49, Reply)

trying to find TGB a satisfactory lay

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:51, Reply)

does that mean she has got over me?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:51, Reply)

no, it's still horrifically fresh in her mind

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:53, Reply)

excellent

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

I love it.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:51, Reply)

I assumed it was some type of parking ticket forum

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Guys with large penises don't get parking tickets

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:51, Reply)

trufax
but that's because they don't drive cars. Why drive a car when you have a pogo stick?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

like Tigger's tail
that's a grim image. Grimage. Ha!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Now I have a really unpleasant mental image

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:58, Reply)

bear with this one
e i tal ima
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:06, Reply)

impressive
strikethrough abilities
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:07, Reply)

cheers

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:07, Reply)

*signs up*

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:56, Reply)

fnar - look at FAQ
How to search for members!
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:20, Reply)

I'd go for option B
but with the addition of apostrophes.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:41, Reply)

Really?
resident's. Hmmmm, maybe I suppose, it's the parking bay of a resident, but not a specific resident though.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Residents'

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:46, Reply)

P'ermit

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Alright Al
Normally I'd say b), but hell, why not c) if you can do it!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:42, Reply)

I'm totally going with c.
I'm not shelling out £60 of my own cash.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Sorted

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Geeza.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:48, Reply)

OI OI!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:55, Reply)

You ain't see me, roight.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:56, Reply)

*taps nose*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:57, Reply)

if you pay it today it's only £30

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:49, Reply)

No, if I don't pay it in 2 weeks it's £120

(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Where did you park, Buckingham Palace?!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Hackney
They clearly value themselves somewhat higher than everyone else.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Are you sure it was a ticket and not protection money?

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Well, the seven year old with the gun did look very official.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:56, Reply)

gun gnu
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:03, Reply)

they have gnus in hackney?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:04, Reply)

Many.
Drive bys are hilarious.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:06, Reply)

I can only imagine

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:08, Reply)

I drove by your house last night
Twice. I was sad I could turn off the North Circular and have a threesome with you.
( djtrialprice, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:15, Reply)

You were sad?
Because you couldn't, or because you could?

Also, this is the second time, that I know of, that you and your gay car could've come for a drink but just gone right on by. THAT is sad.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:17, Reply)

Firstly
My car is awesome and manly. Secondly, I was helping my mate celebrate her birthday by being one of the designated drivers for a private karaoke party in Soho so wasn't allowed to stop :(

I think the car is manlier than the driver.
( djtrialprice, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:20, Reply)

Well OK then.
And I'm not really in a position to mock your car when I don't have one.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:26, Reply)

I drove past your house last friday.
I thought about your hot wife, and nearly had an accident.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:20, Reply)

r hot wife in negligee
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:23, Reply)

But not in the car, eh? EH?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:26, Reply)

a) plus post loads about how banks are EVIL
Though in reality I'd choose b) or c).
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:43, Reply)

I don't even acknowledge that banks exist.
Which means there are several unexplained gaps in the high street for me.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:45, Reply)

You should totally not vote either cos democracy isn't fair, etc.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:46, Reply)

I don't vote, because the government always gets it.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

annoyingly I've just found out that
the postal votes don't get sent out till after I've gone on holiday, and the deadline to change to voting by proxy was 5 minutes ago.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:05, Reply)

I'm out of the country for May 6th
I hope my postal thingy gets to me in time. I do so want to post my magenta CDC to someone other than al for once.
( djtrialprice, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:18, Reply)

b

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:45, Reply)

I'm going with secret option D
of drinking your woes away on Saturday night. With the added bonus of possible newtoning.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Awww man, is that an invitation?
I'm not sure, me and the mrs are trying to keep this weekend free for "us" time, as we haven't had any decent time together for about a month.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:55, Reply)

us time?
that is so, like, gay
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:57, Reply)

Yes
wanting to spend time with my female fiancee is incredibly gay. If you're scottish.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:01, Reply)

It was, yes.
But if you want to stay in and get some boning done, I'll understand, even though you aren't married yet. And even though it is my 30th.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:01, Reply)

Awwww, don't guilt trip me
that's not fair, age ain't nothing but a number, and you'll always be a ten year old boy to me.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:04, Reply)

FINE THEN.
*waves testicles around*

It's... It's just not the same without... him.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:06, Reply)

I'm guilt-tripping you RIGHT HERE

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:06, Reply)

I'm totally guilt-tripping all of you for not coming to my
30th. Don't give me all that, "I wasn't invited!" bollocks.
( djtrialprice, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:16, Reply)

But I wasn't.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:17, Reply)

I'm glad I'm not going to your homosexual barn-raising

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:18, Reply)

I knew you'd be too busy
looking after your litter of scallies. You've been off the smack for a few months now so I heard the social gave them back to you.
( djtrialprice, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:24, Reply)

I lost three year o ma life to herrawin
Ah've got ma daughter back noo
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:29, Reply)

I think you should post a link
People are bound to assume you're being serious. Like how I used to think you actually worked on a meat deli counter.
( djtrialprice, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:31, Reply)

Aww, you really thought that I would smell like ham
and you still stuck by me.
This one is the funniest but it's only audio
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEMZoViPAfw
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:33, Reply)

definitely option C
I just wish I could've claimed my speeding ticket on expenses, because I was going somewhere for work :-/
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:50, Reply)

C, you great fool, CCCCCCC!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Racist

(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:55, Reply)

I read that in an Ian McKellan voice
(in my head)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Now try it out loud. Really loud.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:00, Reply)

I don't think anyone would bat an eyelid

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Try it and let me know, please.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:02, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1HSNV9y25A
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:04, Reply)

E: Lord's Prayer Wank

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Of course
I knew I'd missed an option.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Eh hem
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post678406
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Hahahaha
massive fail.

Also, NakedApe, are you standing in for Psychochomp or something?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:57, Reply)

It did feel a bit chompy.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:00, Reply)

What, you think I didn't realise I was parked in a residents parking bay?
Also: "b) Shut up and pay it, knowing that I was parked in a residents permit parking area without a residents permit.

I just needed to park somewhere so I took a chance. And it didn't pay off.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:58, Reply)

I know, I know, but it was too good to miss
you were quite forthright in that thread.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:03, Reply)

option f)
post a picture of your huge manly cock - hey presto, the fine will be void!
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:56, Reply)

I think you should MTFU
Pay the fucker and sign up for my bash in London village in October. You cunt.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Thir! Thir!
I've thigned up for it, thir!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:12, Reply)

thplendid!
*lickth Tightly*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:15, Reply)

Ooooo
Are bringing your wife? She sent me a lovely text message at the weekend. I hope it was meant for me!
(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:15, Reply)

Yes it was ;o)

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Oh good, thank you, it was a lovely message.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:17, Reply)

I was belming when I typed it - could you tell?

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:18, Reply)

Yes I am.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Be Warned
I'm coming to that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:23, Reply)

I have noticed this thing
and also replied to your gaz.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:24, Reply)

Woohoo!
*licks Monty*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:24, Reply)

*OD's and dies*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:28, Reply)

Ooops!
Didn't mean to lick you that hard......
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:30, Reply)

Haha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:32, Reply)

Artistically - A
Morally - B
Realistically - C
(Cave Duck, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:13, Reply)

Maybe you could get some earthy humour into this?
Or maybe some song lyrics? What would an appropriate song be do you think?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Yeah
Something that takes up about 50 lines.
( djtrialprice, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:17, Reply)

I think maybe

Generals
Gathered
In
Their
Masses

Just
Like
Witches
At
Black
Masses

I like Big Butts
and I cannot lie
Those other brothers might deny
but when a girl walks by
with an itty bitty waist
and a round thing in yout face
you get sprung
gotta pull up tuff
'cause you noticed that butt was stuffed
so deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't
stop staring.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:19, Reply)

OMG, THAT'S SO MEANINGFUL.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:20, Reply)

That Sir Mix-a-Lot,
he's fully of working class giggles.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:21, Reply)

No no
No, no no no, no no no no, no no

THERE'S NO LIMIT!11!!!111!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:22, Reply)

No No x lots
THERE'S NO LYRICS!
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:24, Reply)

It speaks to my soul.

My 'R' soul.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:29, Reply)

B3ta would like to thank you for pointlessly blaring out this opinion

( djtrialprice, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:34, Reply)

B3ta would like to thank you for being a raving bumlord.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:36, Reply)

S'ok
Al and DiT thank me enough ;)
( djtrialprice, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:38, Reply)

Probably something by My Chemical Romance.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:18, Reply)

Or Wake Me Up When September Ends.
It speaks to my soul.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:19, Reply)

Why, the opening line from Plaistow Patricia, of course.

(Cave Duck, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:28, Reply)

Very apposite.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 21 Apr 2010, 8:40, Reply)