Right, time for another election-free thread
Tell us instead about the closest typo: discuss your most recent stonking bone-on (wide-on if you're a feminine type)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:41, 72 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Princess Madeleine of Sweden ...
Very, very beautiful.

I recommend (go)Ogling.
(JohntheDane, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Bolt ons suck

( Peej, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:45, Reply)

She's got the most boring face I've ever seen.
She could be one of a million blonde and pretty girls out there.
( girlinthehole, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:51, Reply)

I don't even think she's that pretty.
She's got something of a generic porn star look about her.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 6 May 2010, 13:01, Reply)

I like breasts

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 May 2010, 13:21, Reply)

Mine was lovely thanks.

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 6 May 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Um. Er. Sorry.
Can't remember.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 6 May 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Well, THAT'S gotta suck...

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 6 May 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Oh dear.
How long have you been taping it to a lolly stick?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:50, Reply)

You still rogering unsuspecting b3tards with the furry bits on marrows?
I'd have thought you'd have moved on to bigger things...
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 6 May 2010, 11:52, Reply)

There are so many b3tans who still have yet to be subjugated under my itchy, vegetable-based wrath...
But rest assured, the Butternut Squash Buttplug is being regularly fed and watered in time for the summer.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Dunno, might have been yesterday.
I didn't say it was ages ago.
Just can't remember.
I blame Al.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 6 May 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Him and his zheimers...

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:59, Reply)

This morning my wife promised me a blowjob when I get home from work this evening
I've had the horn ever since. I doubt it will happen though.
( Peej, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:43, Reply)

The minx!
Your day will fly past though.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 6 May 2010, 11:44, Reply)

So far the last three hours have taken 9 hours.

( Peej, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Ha!
I was woken up with one this morning!
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 6 May 2010, 11:45, Reply)

He meant getting one not giving one.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Yeah, I've told my dad not to thrust himself on me when I'm sleeping...

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 6 May 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Hey...
... when he is gone you will regret not having spent more quality time together.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:54, Reply)

I promise that
and then fall asleep. Wiggy gets mad. I always intend to when I say it, I just forget that I then have to be awake and active for the next 15 hours.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Could she just get the whole thing over and done with this morning?
Sometimes it's best to get things out the way so you don't have to think about it anymore and to stop any potential nagging and pleeding that, frankly, humilates the both of you.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:45, Reply)

Bettany Hughes...
...talking about girl-on-girl action in Sparta.
It was like 'Emmanuelle Teaches History'.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Well, anything's got to be better than 'Emmanuelle in Space'

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Avatar wasn't.
What a pile of old wank.
(I only saw it last night so apologies if I am being very obvious here.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Fair point well made.
If it weren't for the fancy graphics that film would have abosutely bugger all going for it. At least Emmanuelle in Space had some good norks in it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:56, Reply)

I like norks.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:07, Reply)

NORKS

( broadsword, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:13, Reply)

i keep reading that as
Emmerdale in space
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 May 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Now that I would like to see
Just for curiosity's sake, really
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 May 2010, 13:25, Reply)

I saw Alice last night
it was shit.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:46, Reply)

This one time I held a door open for a girl and she said thanks
my trousers felt fizzy
(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:52, Reply)

It's your own fault for putting sherbert in your pants
Sure, it might improve the taste, but women are generally going to be put off by a man who froths at the crotch.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Oh wow, did she have breasts?

( broadsword, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:12, Reply)

*waits*

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:17, Reply)

YES!

(PsychoChomp, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:19, Reply)

i like breasts

( broadsword, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:23, Reply)

I once got a broom-on so powerful and outrageous that a dog walked past it and then jumped infront of some traffic due to shear amazement.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:02, Reply)

I've got a wide on just thinking about that

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Which in turn gave me a rigid...
...the cycle continues.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:07, Reply)

It's something about dogs that jump into traffic through happiness that gets us all going dudette
Sometimes birds fall out the sky and just jizz all over my face with joy. I drink it all up with my special bluejay spunk straw.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:22, Reply)

I read that as blueberry straw
and thought 'that would be quite lovely' when what you actually wrote is disgusting.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:23, Reply)

you can borrow my straw if you like?
I keep it in a specsavers glasses case.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 6 May 2010, 13:20, Reply)

I've tipex'd over it Spunksavers though.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 6 May 2010, 13:21, Reply)

What the fuck is wrong with you?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:23, Reply)

Nothing, why what....what....whhhaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA MECHA ROBO PUNCHI DESU!!!
AIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE KANEDAAA!!!!!!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 6 May 2010, 13:19, Reply)

Why the hell do you want to know that about me? What the hell is wrong with you?
Don't want to imagine you lot all naked with dripping snail trails coming out your fannys, or button-mushrooms sporing in your pants.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:18, Reply)

You lie

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:20, Reply)

I had a weird dream that I went down on a girl with like 10 fannys and loads of grape-like bumps on her bum last night
I didn't like that in the slightest, only got a few hours sleep.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:24, Reply)

That would be troublesome
10 Vee-jay-jays? Were they concentrated in one area, or dotted randomly about her person?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:26, Reply)

Smaller than the average fanny I've seen, all around the groin.
I didn't count them, but there were loads.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:29, Reply)

A compound clunge?
You'd knacker your tongue on that. Probably best to spit on a paint roller and use that.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:31, Reply)

Were you tossing and turning all night?

urn oss
( broadsword, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:26, Reply)

Shit! Shit! Shit!
EMERGENCY! Gonz has found some normalizing meds that work!
Quick, take them off him before we all regret it.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 6 May 2010, 12:25, Reply)

Every time I look at this.

( girlinthehole, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:31, Reply)

But could you accommodate such a whopper?
What with the spikes and all.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:37, Reply)

She'd LOVE it

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:38, Reply)

I just know in my heart of hearts that he's hung like a horse.

( girlinthehole, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:41, Reply)

According to his Wiki page
He's packin' a good 9 inches.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:42, Reply)

*faints*

( girlinthehole, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:44, Reply)

How do you know?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Because fate wouldn't be so cruel as to give the love of my life a chipolata.

( girlinthehole, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:45, Reply)

Hoorah!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:46, Reply)

I cannot discuss it.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:34, Reply)

Hehe!

( girlinthehole, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:35, Reply)

Why not?
Don't be ashamed that it was because you saw a tramp kick a pigeon into a toddler's face.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:35, Reply)

I just can't.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:37, Reply)

You have piqued my interest
But I'm angry about this.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:39, Reply)

Now you've said that, of course, we're all intrigued

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 May 2010, 13:12, Reply)

Am I receiving some sort of subliminal message?
I just clicked back into this thread and, as it loaded, I could have sworn the phrase "toaster to the tits" flashed past me. Aside from offering a practial method of self-defence when trapped in a kitchen, I'm now confused by this.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 May 2010, 13:29, Reply)

What the fuck!!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 6 May 2010, 13:48, Reply)

Told you I was confused!
And at least now if, say, Ann Widdecombe corners you in a kitchen then you'll know the best way to defend yourself.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 May 2010, 13:50, Reply)