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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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God I'm so bored I've been on /talk searching my name.
Apparently I'm still a bloke and strangely I find this comforting.

What comforts you in your times of woe?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:29, 137 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
your mum

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:30, Reply)
The bitch!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:31, Reply)
you can search all boards at once you know,
not just individually.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:34, Reply)
Yes but I'm more famous on /talk.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:36, Reply)
Yeah, nearly 5 people know who you are.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:36, Reply)
I know.
I feel like Princess Di.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:37, Reply)
Internet pornography.
If by 'comforts you' you mean 'helps you crank yourself into a raw, bloody, seeping wreck'.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:32, Reply)
"Why does my cock bleed when I cum?!"

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:41, Reply)
Because you killed your sperm by watching anal sex.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:43, Reply)
Merely watching anal sex kills sperm?
Damn, that's me sterile then.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:45, Reply)
I'm worried now, what happens if, due to circumstances beyond your control, you have to watch a middle-aged man get fisted?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)
Sounds like a day at work for me
I saw triple anal fisting last month. Women hands though, so not that impressive.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:48, Reply)
It was live, though.
I had to walk past every time I wanted a smoke.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)
How many smokebreaks did you take?
How long did the fisting go on for?
I'm assuming this was some sort of fetish show/TG?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:52, Reply)
Antichrist, but it's a similar sort of thing to TG.
I smoked quite a lot, as my other half wasn't feeling well so I was very, very bored.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:01, Reply)
A bit of a dichotomy for Catholic priests, then.

(Cave Duck, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:28, Reply)
Every time I masturbate, blood comes out.
I really wish Kaol hadn't bottled calling in to the traffic news with that while we were driving up to Edinburgh. He's a constant disappointment to me.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:45, Reply)
He is to us all.
He's the Tim Henman of b3ta.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:49, Reply)
Officelol.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:50, Reply)
marijuana

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:33, Reply)
nothing on /talk, that's for sure
reading makes me feel better
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:33, Reply)
I can't follow them
Everytime I answer and the pages refreshes, there are 10 other replies before, making mine silly.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 12 May 2010, 14:41, Reply)
you're too soft for them

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:45, Reply)
I'm too old for kids, I think
It feels like being again with my friends when we were teenagers. I never enjoyed those empty conversations.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 12 May 2010, 14:54, Reply)
most of the people on /talk are in their thirties, some in twenties, forties and fifties

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:00, Reply)
No, that's a lie
How can they be so childish?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 12 May 2010, 15:05, Reply)
they're about as childish as anyone else on b3ta
you seem to have a lot to say about them even though you can't follow them
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:07, Reply)
Yep, you're probably right there
I only read a few times and gave up, I just don't feel tempted to try again.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 12 May 2010, 15:12, Reply)
It depends if you're in a middle of an attention fight.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:48, Reply)
That makes it even harder
First time I saw one I really took it seriously and try to give good advice and everything. Nobody ever replied to anything I said.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 12 May 2010, 14:53, Reply)
Gutted.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:00, Reply)
The love of a bad woman.
Walking - strangely.
(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 12 May 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Striking through a dash wouldn't really work.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:34, Reply)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:40, Reply)

No need: you've obviously haven't seen me walk.
(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 12 May 2010, 14:41, Reply)
toffee apple crumble
and sewing
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:34, Reply)
I used to love sitting watching the TV with a bit of sewing on the go.
Very Zen.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:38, Reply)
Cross stitch was always quite relaxing
knitting and crochet are just stressful though because no matter what those serene videojug women tell you, it's fucking hard!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:44, Reply)
I can believe that
my mrs learnt to knit watching those sorts of videos. it drove her mental.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:45, Reply)
Even I can knit you woman fail

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:47, Reply)
Surely this should prompt some sort of shirter/bumder reaction?
No?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:53, Reply)
I mean comprehensively, not just the basic stitch
anyone can knit a scarf.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:54, Reply)
What about people with one hand?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:00, Reply)
I can't
My first and only looked like a worm.

I like cross point, I'm good at that.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 12 May 2010, 15:06, Reply)
I can't think of many things less zen than watching tv

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:44, Reply)
I'm on about the sewing numpty.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)
the sewing and tv part of your statement had equal prominence
sewing isn't very zen on its own either.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:54, Reply)
It's the calming influence of it
sewing is quite zen, its repetitive motion is quite serene.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:55, Reply)
You're always dissagreeing with what I say.
You must really fancy me.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:57, Reply)
we all know it's you that fancies me
and your attempt at reversal just proves it
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:02, Reply)
Why would I fancy you?
You don't even have a tattoo.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:06, Reply)
irrelevant

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:11, Reply)
I have a tattoo
you can fancy me instead. We can spend our later years sewing by the fireside.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:11, Reply)
That would be nice except I'll be dead when you're old.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:13, Reply)
everyone's a winner

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:19, Reply)
This is getting embarrasing.
It could never work between us.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:24, Reply)
you can be my sugar momma!

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:31, Reply)
Oh I gots lots of sugar to give : )
Edit - I've just realised how creepy that sounds given your age. Haha!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:36, Reply)
With it turned off, silly.

(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 12 May 2010, 14:46, Reply)
Especially if it's Britain's Got Talent
Or any associated soul-raping show.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:47, Reply)
Actually studies have shown that people can use less brain power watching tv than simply sitting on their own
Blank Zen mind courtesy of The One Show
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:48, Reply)
Gin

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:38, Reply)
Wasting hours playing computer games
Cycling through the countryside in glorious sunshine.
A wank after a boring day at work.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:39, Reply)
I read that as crying through the countryside

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:58, Reply)
Learn to read proper-like

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:07, Reply)
I think I just read what I wanted to see

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:27, Reply)
A nice cup of tea?
No, no really. A big hug does.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 12 May 2010, 14:40, Reply)
And pizza
The unhealthiest pizzas.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 12 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)
^^This
Pepperoni, spicy beef, jalapenos. Maybe anchovies too.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:43, Reply)
^This
I haven't had a really unhealthy pizza for ages.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:45, Reply)
I had one of the above last week
When I was having a shit emo day. Perked me right up it did.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:45, Reply)
I might have one soon.
I usually get a thin crust margherita but next time I'M GOING THICK CRUST MIXED VEG WITH EXTRA CHEESE YOU MOFO'S.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:47, Reply)
Go one size bigger than you can take
*smirks*
And have it for breakfast/lunch the next day.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:50, Reply)
Leave Pizza for the next day?
Are you mad? I'm an all or nothing kind of girl.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:51, Reply)
But re-heated pizza is lush!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:53, Reply)
I'll give it a go then.
If I can muster up the will power to leave any.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:54, Reply)
But
cold morning after pizza is made of win! Perhaps it's more of a student thing..
*reminisces*
(berk, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:56, Reply)
It's the best food ever
With the melted cheese hard again and all the fats and oils making lumps on top. My favourite breakfast ever.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 12 May 2010, 14:57, Reply)
I love bolognese pizza
With extra bacon and cheeese. Ay, I haven't had a good one for so long...

(Keep concentrating in how loose your trousers feel, keep concentrating in how loose your trousers feel)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 12 May 2010, 14:56, Reply)
donner meat pizza & garlic dip
is both disgustingly bad and wonderfully good
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:27, Reply)
a hug?
a HUG?!

*points*
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)
I'm saving that image

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:43, Reply)
Moi aussi

(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 12 May 2010, 14:45, Reply)
Sorry, I meant a fuck
Is that better? Can I come back?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 12 May 2010, 14:59, Reply)
Don't mind if I do. No sugar thanks.

(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 12 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)
I think I need to get out into the countryside, find a quiet spot and scream very loudly.
Then watch as loads of random hikers that I didn't notice, come running to see what all the commotion was about.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)
Cake
Or chocolate. Or weed, if I can get hold of it. This is rare (sadface) but then, times of woe are also fortunately rare.
(berk, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:42, Reply)
Or all three together.
Oh, yummy.
(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 12 May 2010, 14:43, Reply)
This has also
been tried, however space cake tends to make me pass out. I suppose you could call that relief from times of woe, but for me they tend to be more fun seperately.
(berk, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:57, Reply)
I'd love a bit of space cake. It's been ages since I've had the silly giggles.
Now I don't smoke I miss a little hit now and again.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:02, Reply)
Same here, now I'm out of the circle I get less and less opportunity

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:03, Reply)
Well, if
I ever manage to get to a bash, I'll see about bringing you a little something, if you like.

ponders whether it is weird to offer drugged cake to strangers
(berk, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:04, Reply)
Only weird if it comes with free lube

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:05, Reply)
I'm no stranger.
Thanks : )
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:07, Reply)
-no stranger than who?

(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 12 May 2010, 15:12, Reply)
Well definitely no stranger than you you nutter.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:16, Reply)
* Boo -hoos*I need apple sponge cake.

(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 12 May 2010, 15:30, Reply)
Well I've eaten it all
so HA!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:32, Reply)

www.90nz0.com/wall/pugwall.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:50, Reply)
haha
bite the curb bitch.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:56, Reply)

www.frenchbulldogs.ca/images/articles_puppy.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:01, Reply)
I like a good bit of exercise
but that can be rare. So probably a good dose of drinking and then hungover computer gaming.
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:58, Reply)
I have apple sponge cake
I am SO happy again (after you bastards all made me cry)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 12 May 2010, 14:59, Reply)
?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:00, Reply)
Yep, I missed that too

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 12 May 2010, 15:01, Reply)
they were mean about her Marina

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:02, Reply)
My God! they're dicing with death.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:03, Reply)
No, we're weren't planning on driving the...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:04, Reply)
This isn't a euphemism

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:03, Reply)
And Marina is?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 12 May 2010, 15:08, Reply)
A shitty old car
That TGB coddles like the baby she'll never have.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:09, Reply)
I fucking hate kids
My Marina had nice solid metal bumpers great for running the little shitboxes over
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:28, Reply)
Which is why I made the comment
Those who don't know you like I do* would go "Woah, harsh". Whereas you take it as a compliment.

*explicitly and scornfully
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:42, Reply)

*biblically?
(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 12 May 2010, 15:55, Reply)
She wishes

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:58, Reply)
Ah come on, it wasn't that bad

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:01, Reply)
It was internet bullying of the highest degree

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:03, Reply)
Awful, terrible cunts we are

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:04, Reply)
Whoo Whoo
/OT winna!
- although I wish to dis-assiciate myself with any previous bullying.
Her car is a fine example, as Marinas go. Which this one doesn't.
(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 12 May 2010, 15:09, Reply)
If a fine example is one with a stciky roof, rust and no engine then i dread
to think what the others must be like!
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:20, Reply)
It actually has two engines
it's just that neither of them are in the car
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:28, Reply)
That's ok then, does the asking price include both engines?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:29, Reply)
Yup
There isn't a picture of the other engine as it's green. Which may be offputting.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:30, Reply)
Sounds nice, my engine is boring old grey

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:31, Reply)
You should get a multicoloured Marina!
I also have an orange bonnet you can have that I think will compliment the red and blue.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:32, Reply)
It'll be like one of those horrid multi panelled polos thy used to make

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:34, Reply)
The Harlequin!
I see one every day! I'm convinced one of the red doors used to be blue though...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:36, Reply)
They are utter gash

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:37, Reply)
The woman who drives it can't park for shit either
and no it's not me or my mum
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:38, Reply)

The woman who drives it women
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:43, Reply)
-And
complement the car. Assuming it doesn't have a bonnet already, which it probably hasn't.
(I helped save b3ta! Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 12 May 2010, 15:53, Reply)
Books and mint chocolate
but right now, saving me from ever feeling down again is of all bizarre things- a facebook group. You can 'Like'

'David Cameron's face when the Minister for Magic turns up in his office.'
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:20, Reply)
He'll probably turn him away as Hogwarts is no Eton.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:22, Reply)
it is a public school though

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:26, Reply)
Wizard school surely

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:38, Reply)
I'm totally liking that

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:38, Reply)
Hey Gonz
check this out, I could make you a pug corset:
ny-image2.etsy.com/il_fullxfull.143612878.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 12 May 2010, 15:43, Reply)

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