Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Lunch time!I have no idea what's been going on here recently as work is STUPID at the moment.
Also some fucking pikey cuntbags stole all my lovely shiny chrome dustcaps off my car. Seriously why steal dustcaps!?!!?
I'm not asking any questions because I can't be fucked to think of any and, frankly, I don't care about what your favorite beverage is or how many times you have screamed at the TV whilst watching the football.
The question above doesn't count as it's rhetorical.
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:12,
195 replies,
latest was 16 years ago)
It's always lovely to see me(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:15,
Reply)
down the sights of my rifle(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:20,
Reply)
If only you had some sort of telescopic device that left one hand free...Life is cruel sometimes.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:21, Reply)
Now it's my life's missionTo snipe at TGB while wanking and cackling maniacally.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:30,
Reply)
something else we have in common(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:32,
Reply)
meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeanand disgusting
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:33,
Reply)
admit itthe thought of me and lab whacking away while peering down the scope of a high-powered rifle has got you frothing at the gash
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:34,
Reply)
I'm actually all outafter seeing that picture of Berts jumper on the Best Of page
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:44,
Reply)
It's quite the jumper, isn't it?(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:44,
Reply)
and those chinos....(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:49,
Reply)
in my trigger finger(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:11,
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that's not what I'veheard you call it
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:14,
Reply)
who's been blabbing?(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:21,
Reply)
If it's crooked like a trigger finger,that's called Peyronie's.
(I would have put a wikipedia link but there are pictures of cocks)
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:22, Reply)
AAAHAHAHAHA! *pchowng!**fapfapfap*HAHAHA!*bang!*AAAHAHAAHAAAHAAAAAAAAAAA!
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:35,
Reply)
I have a roast beef and horseraddish sandwich for lunch.I know you wanted to know that.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:13, Reply)
Pikey scumGood thing about my car having alloys is that they can only steal all of nothing.
In other news, I got a masters with distinction. Bow down to my superior brain, and tell me I'm awesome.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:13, Reply)
So what letters do you get?MEng?
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:17,
Reply)
Are you setting this up for aMOng joke?
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:17,
Reply)
YepBut I'm not going to start signing it after my name.
Ok, I'm considering it.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:18, Reply)
people who put it in their email signature should be shot.I have a habit of deleting it when I reply to people.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:18, Reply)
I agree with thisI also hate e-mail signatures that are longer than the e-mail. Not acceptable.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:20, Reply)
what about people who are obliged to because of work?(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:23,
Reply)
Unless you're working in a field where your qualification is actually relevant,you can still fuck off.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:25, Reply)
I agree with these two ^You can't help it, but it's still despicable.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:27, Reply)
Do you drop the Batchelors degree letters now?or are You PenguinofDeath BEng, MEng, Esq?
Oh yeah, well done!
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:20,
Reply)
I didn't graduate with a Bachelors everJust did a straight masters, so never had those letters. And you spelt bachelors wrong.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:22, Reply)
So I didah well, its been 12 years since I was awarded one from scumbag college
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:25,
Reply)
I'm considering doing an accreditation in one piece of softwareJust so I can have A.C.E after my name.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:24,
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People who do an arts degree and the convert to law are BA LLBvery nearly Ball Boy
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:27,
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that'll be me in a couple of years(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:38,
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Hope it all goes wellif I ever sit another exam you can come down to Somerset and kick me in the stones
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:46,
Reply)
when I get chartered I'll have MICE after my name(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:27,
Reply)
ooh you has a cleverwell done. You get to add poncy letters after your name now don't you?
EDIT: I didn't read any of the above because I saw Psychochomp's name, but having skimmed through it I realise my question has been answered and debated in detail, whoops.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:27,
Reply)
I would totally get business cards printedfrom one of those crappy machines in a shopping centre and give them out to my friends at unnecessary moments.
And I might have an American Psycho moment with them as well.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:35,
Reply)
Get them in eggshell(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:36,
Reply)
Just don't play Phil Collins to me before handAnd shouldn't that be 'ivory', like rhino tusks?
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:41,
Reply)
Rhino tusks aren't ivorythey're a type of dense hair.
and people call me dull
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:50, Reply)
I knew this toobut I didn't say anything lest people think I'm dull.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:01,
Reply)
Keratin(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:06,
Reply)
I already have business cardsThey don't have the letters on, so won't be getting re-printed.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:36, Reply)
I'm getting mine done on paydayI don't have any letters though, sadface. I has a stupid.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:41,
Reply)
arguing over the font and design you mean?(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:37,
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my dinner parties so oftenend up like that
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:00,
Reply)
Congrats chap.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:39,
Reply)
CheersQuite happy; still unemployed; don't care all that much just now though.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:41, Reply)
Sounds like the kind of qualificationthat can get you serious money rather quickly...
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whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:06,
Reply)
THEY CAN STEAL YOUR DUSTCAPS TOOdumbass
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:15,
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Damn me and my not reading words properlyI'll need to design me some pikey-guards.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:15, Reply)
I've bought somelocking chrome dustcaps off ebay for 3 squid.
Loads nicer than the shitty ones they have in halfords
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:16,
Reply)
I like your moxy, kidI'll just continue to hope no-one nicks mine.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:21, Reply)
awesome work, sir!(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:54,
Reply)
I'm going to tell youmy favourite beverage anyway, because I know you secretly care
coffee frappucino with peppermint
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:14,
Reply)
starbucksso bad for my bank account so good for the tastebuds. If you get it ask for a double shot of peppermint. Absolutely fantastic
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:24,
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I keep waking up late and end up coming half way into threadsI don't know what's for lunch, I don't really fancy anything. Lies, I want bread, but I have no bread.
I'm pathetic :(
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:15,
Reply)
Still going to punch you in the face come Friday(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:20,
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Congratulations, that made me laughnow you have to entrance me into your bunk bed.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:24,
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Would you mind waiting until I'm there? I wouldn't want to miss it.(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:22, Reply)
You can hold him down for me!(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:25,
Reply)
I'm just going to get a stream of abuse from the moment I get there aren't I?(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:29, Reply)
a question we ask ourselves of you on a regular basis(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:35,
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Because I secretly want you?Oh wait, that'll make you not come.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:35,
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I remembered now,it's to mock Monty in the flesh for probably shagging his ex.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:38, Reply)
but if he's flat on the ground I won't get optimum facepunch.Though I could curb-stomp him.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:29,
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very American History XI'm glad I will be here for this
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:32,
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Take pics please, or a movieAnd show me next weekend.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:25,
Reply)
If you wantbread, but can't manage to obtain any, I think as a human being you are probably in trouble.
Go forth and find baked produce, woman!
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:21, Reply)
-grumbles-don't WANT to get out of bed :(
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:25,
Reply)
I CAN'T THERE'S SOMEONE OUTSIDE MY ROOM AND I'M AFRAID(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:29,
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I'M WEARING CLOTHES(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:30,
Reply)
MTFU!(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:31,
Reply)
The people have gone nowI might go for a fag.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:47,
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Never too early for fags.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:18,
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This doesn't exactly make you sound un-patheticIt's nice to see students still manage to lack even the basics of food.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:17, Reply)
I don't understand double negatives in English anymore, sorry :(Congratulations on your degree!
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:19,
Reply)
Do you understand them in Latin?Not that I can give you them in Latin. And cheers.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:21, Reply)
Yes, and Greekit's quite often a different system. Double negatives emphasise shit, so very negative.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:26,
Reply)
So more 'doubly negative'Than what we would class as a double negative. Joys.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:29, Reply)
not trueI have caramel diegestives, diet coke and satsumas
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:23,
Reply)
Bucking the trend thereRebel. I always made sure to have a plentiful supply of Irn Bru, even if I was out of bread.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:30, Reply)
I have never boughtso much as one loaf of bread while at university, though I did once buy bread rolls about a year ago
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:31,
Reply)
I went on a diet a year agowhere I cut out nearly everything bad for me, and lived off fruit (satsumas), meat and diet coke. Afterwards I found I didn't like bread much anymore. I eat the occasional piece of toast especially if it has cheese on it, but I don't think I've eaten untoasted bread since then
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:35,
Reply)
Same with me and milkgets to the point that when I get home I just down as many cups of tea as possible
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:34,
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tea is the drink of the gods(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:36,
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I'm very clean thank youbut it's nice to be called great
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:59,
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What kind of bread?This is essential.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:26,
Reply)
HovisWholegrain something or other.
Thick sliced.
Good enough for you?
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:27, Reply)
Do you have soft butter and a toaster?(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:28,
Reply)
Utterly Butterly and yes.Jam and marmite are also available. Or cheese if you're feeling really adventurous.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:32, Reply)
Stop tormenting me with the thought of food :((
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:34,
Reply)
I recommend the Hovis Seed Sensation breadit's good
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:28,
Reply)
It might even be that one.I'm going to wander downstairs and see. And then probably eat some. See you in a bit.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:34, Reply)
because they can't afford to give their kids frisbees(
Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:18,
Reply)
dustcapsYou are thinking of wheel trims
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:20,
Reply)
why not use sensible termslike hubcaps instead of wheel trims, and valve caps instead of dust caps. then people will know what you mean.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:23,
Reply)
because you massive bearded cunt snobthey are called dust caps
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:25,
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how come you don't call them that then?(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:27,
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because I'm not a retarddo try and keep up
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:28,
Reply)
You look like a retardand you sound like a retard...
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:47,
Reply)
you're nasty(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:49,
Reply)
you definitley dress like a retard...(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:53,
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at least I don't spell like oneand you are in no position to comment on dress sense
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:56,
Reply)
I look awesomeI have snipers wanking over how hot I am
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:57,
Reply)
if the backwards baseball cap fits, wear it(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:58,
Reply)
I have never worn a baseball cap in my lifebackwards or otherwise
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:02,
Reply)
it was in responseto the being a retard accusation levelled at you
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:05,
Reply)
are you still not over me accidentally implying that you are borderline retarded?(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:12,
Reply)
I'd forgotten about that actuallythanks for reminding me.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:13,
Reply)
If they were supposed to be locking dust caps then couldn't you claim your money back?Not fit for purpose?
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:29, Reply)
NO BECAUSE THEY WEREN'T WHICH IS WHY THEY WERE STOLEN AND I **THEN** HAD TO GO BUY SOME LOCKING ONES FROM EBAYHas everyone been on the stupid pills in my absence?
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:45,
Reply)
oh.whoops. I thought they were valve something or others. I'm going to pretend you'r talking about mudflaps so I can laugh at the word mudflaps.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:03,
Reply)
I had chicken salad for lunchI have no car.
I have to prepare the meeting for EWB for tonight (I'm the chairman now).
I have to get ready to follow the match at 3pm without my boss noticying.
I have to get something for dinner.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:42, Reply)
I have to eat on the streetOn the way to the meeting. I think it'll be a sad healthy sandwich :(
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 12:50, Reply)
You should get yourself a bluetooth headsetand while eating lunch and carrying your brief-case in the other hand, strut around in a hurry screaming into your phone about how things are unacceptable. Perhaps throw in quotes about large sums of money...
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whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:11,
Reply)
I hate people who use a handsfree set when their HANDS ARE FREEIt just means the gesticulate wildly in the street and get in my way.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:16,
Reply)
That'll do!BUY BUY BUY!!!
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whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:27,
Reply)
quick!do something illicit
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:01,
Reply)
I have next week offtherefore this weeking is dragging exceptionally.
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whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:12,
Reply)
Alright TGB?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:17,
Reply)
this thread is slowing down,we should talk about this picture some more.
img810.imageshack.us/img810/9022/2vcx5zb.jpg
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:21, Reply)
I like breasts(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:23,
Reply)
I might toosee what the mrs says
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:34,
Reply)
knowing her it probably will bewe were watching something last night where one of the characters had quite a lot of cleavage on show. every time she came on screen my mrs shouted "boobs!"
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:39,
Reply)
I have a Pavlov-type instinctive reationThat whenever I drive by a 'bumpy road' roadsign, I have to shout "Boobies!".
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:44,
Reply)
It's hard to control(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:58,
Reply)
We can talk about fútbolChile is beating Honduras. That is good. Everybody should beat Honduras.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:27, Reply)
That's a great photo(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:30,
Reply)
I like to thing that's her boyfriend next to her.Gives us all a bit of hope.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:37, Reply)
Hmm? There's a guy next to her?Oh, must take another look.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:38,
Reply)
If you move your eyes side-to-side a bit, her head moves and you can picture her giving a blowjob.*Right click -> Save As*
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:33,
Reply)
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