Ms Foxtrot wants to wear glasses for fashion purposes
and to be fair, she looks fucking hot in a secretarial sort of way in glasses. But she has perfect vision, and as an incredibly short-sighted bastard who's been beplagued by the need for milkbottle thick glasses or incredibly expensive contact lenses all my life, I object to this. Do I have a case?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:23, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

No.

( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:23, Reply)

I feared as much
Nonetheless I expect acquiesence. Don't make me defriend you

/empty threat
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:26, Reply)

no case but
just tell her she looks a bit like your Aunt Maggie. Suggest she buys one of those things you can hang round your neck so you don't lose them. Do this with the straightest of faces


Disclaimer: This advice will not claim responsibility for any injury inflicted on people who take it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:27, Reply)

That is a well genius idea
Unfortunately whatever reaction I produce facially or verbally to discourage her from buying glasses will be undone by the reaction in my pants to seeing her wear them

I don't know why I'm against it, quite frankly
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:28, Reply)

then sit behind a desk or table
I have to say (as a long time glasses wearer) I think it's stupid for anyone to wear glasses who doesn't need them
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:34, Reply)

I didn't realise you were one of my lot
Long or short?

SIGHTED
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:36, Reply)

short sighted
it's a pain, because I can't wear contacts, so I have to get my sunglasses etc ground to prescription as well
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:37, Reply)

How short sighted?
And how come you can't wear contacts? I can't remember seeing you wearing glasses in any pics
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I think DT is a little worse than me.
I'm on -5.75 and -6.0

Darth - 'piano glasses' is the name. In the usual meaning of no-prescription lenses, but "I can't play because I don't have my glases" becomes a plausible excuse.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Ooh, it's like a competition of the mong-eyed
I'm -6.75 and -6.5
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:44, Reply)

-2.25, -2
I lose.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:46, Reply)

no idea
I don't have my prescription memorised
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:48, Reply)

doubt it
mine is like -0.25 and -0.5, if that
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:48, Reply)

he says, smugly.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:49, Reply)

it's still a pain in the arse
at least you get value for money from your glasses. I only wear mine when at a computer, and not even all the time then.

not sure how accurate the numbers are, because according to the guy at my last eyecheck, aside from the astigmatism, my eyesite is good enough to be a fighter pilot.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:53, Reply)

This will be useful when you plan your expedition to the South Pole

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:54, Reply)

it would be, if my knee wasn't giving me gyp

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:55, Reply)

You could just go to the fighter pilot training school and enjoy the topless all-male beach volleyball

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:56, Reply)

I do feel the need, the need for speed...

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:57, Reply)

It's almost too obvious
speed great big man-cock
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Silly Vipros
You don't fly a plane with your knees...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:57, Reply)

not with that attitude

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Vipros
outrage- HMV no longer sell Point Break. Withdrawn after Patrick Swayze's death, the cunt
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:00, Reply)

you're shitting me
I was about to say "good job I've already got it on dvd" but I'm not sure....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:02, Reply)

I had it on DVD
but it got scratched, so went to buy a new one.

I bet they're doing some ridiculously expensive special edition
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:04, Reply)

the fucking swine

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:07, Reply)

I'm now imagining you sitting back in the cockpit, holding the steering column between your knees
as you crack open a bottle of wine to wash down another croissant, before you plot a course to another boulangerie, anticipating the clamour as a sleepy French village is woken up by the sound of a Harrier hovering over their town square.

The towering, bearded English Viking brings the jet to a halt tidily, next to the fountain and lifts the canopy, handing out photos of his genitalia to the young, moist, highly experienced French peasant girls who are now flocking round his aircraft. He gropes the breast of one well-endowed girl, who looks up into his eyes appreciatively. He holds up a half-eaten croissant in his other hand, gives her a sly wink and says,
"Be a good girl," and pats her on the arse gratefully as she scurries off to the boulangerie.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:04, Reply)

I think I've found my biographer

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Haha, same
I think it's getting worse. But I dunno where my glasses are.


Whoops.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:25, Reply)

Non-starter.
I can't imagine how Darth finds his way round the dance floor.
Good excuse to hang on to Ms Foxtrot's arse.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:50, Reply)

I have spent enough on glasses and contact lenses to keep Vipros in croissants for several lifetimes

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I'm
-6.5 in both eyes.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:47, Reply)

'Fraid not
-5 in both eyes with ADDED Astigmatism.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:48, Reply)

I'm winning!
This comes as absolutely no surprise to me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Well fuck you, eye-boy
-7.5, -7.1 and one of my eyes is on the bloody wonk as well.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Fucking hell, you're SPECIAL
Bang goes my next sig
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:59, Reply)

My friend Gimpy Dave is the winner.
Something like -14 in both eyes, and a clotting disorder. Which is irrelevant to his eyesight, but it seems a bit harsh to take someone who can barely see and ensure that walking into things leads to massive bruises and bleeding.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:11, Reply)

That is incredibly harsh
I can only hope that fate also gave him an appropriate payoff, like an absurdly large penis or a genetic abnormality which allows him to buy a Bugatti Veyron at 0.01% of its RRP
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:25, Reply)

fairly badly shortsighted
I can't apply contacts, can't stand the feel. The astigmatism doesn't help either. My old glasses were rimless so it's hard to see them in pictures. My current ones are dark red, but I duck away from photos
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:41, Reply)

I do have some contacts but I hate them,
I actually quite like wearing glasses.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:43, Reply)

I tried contact lenses
but it didn't go well. I don't really mind glasses to be honest
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:47, Reply)

I'll probably be wearing my glasses at Sonisphere
Putting in contact lenses in a tent is an arse
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:49, Reply)

yeah
but I lost my ferociously expensive frameless glasses there last year
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:58, Reply)

The prospect of watching Slayer, Pendulum or Maiden whilst weating glasses is not a pleasant one

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:00, Reply)

dropped them in the mud
most frustrating.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:03, Reply)

My glasses fell off at a Megadeth gig when I was 15
Got contacts shortly thereafter
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:08, Reply)

depends
what time of the month it is.
( ascorbate, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Yes
wearing glasses when you don't need them is retarded. Sunglasses indoors=retarded normal glasses with perfect vision=retarded.
( Peej, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:27, Reply)

As a fellow eye-spaz:
Yes.

What's she going to do for her next trick, get a wheelchair? "Oh, I don't need one, I just like to sit at the front at Concerts."
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:28, Reply)

I might try the latter

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:30, Reply)

^ POTD
That gives me exactly the retort I was searching for. The best I'd come up with so far is that it's like a thin person buying maternity clothes to make a tent out of
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Ah - that reminds me of another gaffe I made.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I usually ask them if they're wearing orthopedic shoes for extra height

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:58, Reply)

That's perfect
She's 5'10" so will hopefully appreciate the irony and not just give me the "sex ban" look
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:01, Reply)

"People who wear contact lenses are lying about their eyesight" - John Hegley
I'm not entirely sure of the relevence, but quoting poetry is bound to make me look clever, right?
(Cave Duck, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Who sung this?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Yes
I hate when people wear glasses for fashion because it annoys me that I can't just take mine off whenever I'm wearing an outfit that doesn't match them.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:57, Reply)

This perfectly sums up the issue I have with it
Thank you for knowing what I'm thinking better than I do. You should be very scared right now
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:02, Reply)